Love, Me
by MoonlightGardenias
Summary: Meredith left Seattle for a change, but came back for the same reason two years later. Can she and Derek get through what was, and still be there to face what will be? Set two years after 'Losing My Religion'.
1. Writing a Letter

**Author's Note: I really shouldn't post another fic, and I promise I really will update CL&3LW, but at the moment, I needed something to sort of inspire me. Get it?**

**Basically, this takes place roughly a year and a half after season two's finale. Naturally, a great deal has happened, leaving the lives of those at Seattle Grace scattered. Meredith left, I'll say that much. Addison and Derek never reunited, but Meredith left before she could figure that out. Izzie did eventually return to the hospital, but did, of course, take things slowly. She and Alex reunited, and have since stayed together. Mark did come to Seattle, but came after Meredith left. The story will be told through a series of letters, between-who else-Derek and Meredith. Any other people may be mentioned, or get letters, but they'll be factored in later. So, read and review, please!**

_Yawning, Meredith pulled out a notebook and a pen. Folding her legs, she sat lazily on her bed. Looking out the window, she felt herself smile. She wanted no-she needed to write him. It had been so long since she'd seen or heard from him...from Derek. _

_Derek_,

I realize that it's probably a surprise to hear from me, it's probably the last thing you expected. I needed to write you, though. How is Seattle-how much has it changed? To be honest, I'm not entirely sure why I left...I just had to. You and Addison were together, and that one night we had could have ruined everything. Believe it or not, Derek, I want you to be happy. I miss seeing you being happy.

Los Angeles is a change compared to Seattle. It doesn't rain as much, that's for sure. But there's noone like you. The other day I scrubbed in on a surgery involving twins-it's a little complicated, but I definately think that the road I'll take is neurology. Do you remember what it was like the first few years you were an intern? Did you ever feel nervous? I've settled in, and the other interns here are nice...almost too nice.

I can't believe I haven't kept in touch with anyone. It's been almost two years since I've seen you, or Izzie, or Cristina. After everything that happened at Prom, and then my mother dying-I just couldn't stay in Seattle anymore. You understand, don't you? I hope you do, because I'm not sure I could explain it. Everything just got too hard to handle, the thought of staying at SGH seemed like the wrong decision. What happened? Is Chief still working? I had heard that Izzie returned to the hospital, so if you get this, could you please give her my address? I miss you all, Derek...even you. As stubborn and egotistical as you were, I missed you. I still miss you. Probably not what you wanted to hear, especially now.

God, how did things get so complicated? Every night I wonder what it would have been like had I actually stayed. You know, like how many people I would have known, how much gossip (though i'm sure that alot of it was about me) I could have heard. Seattle Grace was a great hospital., Derek. But what made it special was the people that worked there. Even if I was having the worst day, I'd get on the elevator or something and...you were always there. How is that? That it seemed that you were everywhere? Anyway, it's getting kid of late, but I figured I'd write you, anyway. I miss talking to you, and I need you to know that. Don't take this as 'Meredith trying to get back with me', okay? Because this isn't like that. I'm not even sure what it is. I just can't believe it-Two Years!...Not two weeks, not even two months. Two years? They say change is good, but I'm still not sure.

You know I was going through my closet the other day and found a box that I still didn't unpack. So, you see, technically, I'm not officially moved in. I haven't opened the box. I just can't do it. Why? Because...well, you would probably think it was stupid. So how is Seattle's favorite surgeon? You know I saw your name in the paper yesteday? I guess that's what made me want to write this, I figured that it was the thing I should do. Did you know where I went? I guess in my mind you were going to follow me, so I wouldn't have to worry about it. But then, there's Addison. And the hospital. How could you leave? You had an important place there, but after my mother passed away, I didn't. Sure, I was an intern, but you and I both know how quickly they screw things up. Maybe I screwed things up-no-I _know_ I did. I feel like an idiot-I left Izzie when she needed me most, I left you when maybe-just maybe-I could have had a chance.

You think i'm crazy, right? Chances are you probably threw away the envelope when you saw the name 'Grey'. It _is _still Grey, by the way. Not that you asked or anything, I mean, I've dated here and there, but not at the hospital.. Well, anyway, I should go. It's almost two in the morning. You know what that means?...Happy Birthday, Derek. I remembered. And you know what?...Since you probably won't read this far anyway-I love you. I love you, Derek. I know that it's alot to take in, and I know that you probably won't write back (especially after me saying that)...but I do. I miss us, I miss everything. Well, like I said...I have to go. Goodbye, Derek.

Love,

_Mer_

**So what do you think? I know it wasn't much, and some of it seems a little OOC. Anyway, Read and review, please!**


	2. Dear Meredith

**Author's Note: Thanks to all who reviewed the first chapter. Here's Derek's reply-somewhat long, but basically explaining things. **

* * *

Derek kicked back on the couch, staring at the letter that lay on the table before him. He had read it-three times. He just couldn't bring himself to write her back, because if he did, he'd want to have Meredith back again. Trying to think of things, trying to think of her-he had half a mind to take the next flight to L.A., just to get her back. But he couldn't. Grabbing some paper, Derek figured he would write her back.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meredith,

While I admit it was a surprise to hear from you, I am in no way complaining. I don't know where to start as far as updating you goes. Oh, and by the way-I did have a happy birthday. Of course, not as happy as it would have been had you been here but...well, I guess I should start there. This could get long, so if you weren't really looking to hear from me, you could probably stop here.

Addison and I aren't together anymore, and we haven't been for a long time. A few weeks after you left, Mark came to Seattle. Yeah, I can see the look on your face now. _McSteamy_. Anyway, apparently she stayed with him after I left New York. There was just too much there, she loved him and I loved you-we got divorced. She still works at Seattle Grace and, believe it or not, has taken Alex Karev under her wing.

Izzie is doing well. She still lives at the house, but George and Callie bought their own apartment about a year ago. Don't think that life is going on without you, though. We all miss you. Well, I can't speak for everyone but...I miss you. Joe missed you for a while, saying something about his favorite dirty mistress but I didn't know where you went. Cristina's...well, she's really not much different than you would remember her. She's still as sarcastic, still as demanding...she kinda reminds me of Bailey.

I know things got screwed up, Mer. But I really wish that you didn't leave. We could have worked things out. We could have found a way around everything. I mean, it would have been hard for a while, but I would have been there for you. I remember holding you after you found out about your mother. The way you just crumpled, had I not grabbed you, you would have fallen to the floor. The way you shook reached me somehow, it made me realize how much had changed between us. Even though there were people around, it was in that moment that I realized how much you meant to me.

The night of the prom-don't blame yourself. Both of us were in that exam room, both of us made that choice. While in retrospect I wish I had done things differently, I don't regret what happened. If anyone should feel like an idiot here, Meredith, it's certaintly not you. It's me. If I had signed the papers the first time, Addison never would have stayed in Seattle, and you never would have left. But, as Izzie pointed out the other day, you can't change the past. She was working with me the other day with a patient who had a tumor. It got a little complicated, but she basically ended up giving him the will to live...his wife had left him right before he was scheduled to have the surgery.

Stangely, it made me think of you. You were always the one who brightened my day, even if _I _was the one who was everywhere (and I don't have an answer as to how that happened). But the elevators just aren't the same without you. I still take them, of course. But not as often.

I guess I should fill you in a little on how my life has been. Like I said, Addison and I aren't together. I've dated, too. Nothing ever lasted long, though. I keep telling myself that it had nothing to do with you. About three months after you left, Chief retired. It shocked alot of people, and as you would expect, fingers were pointed. Burke's chief of surgery now. I was considered for the position, but Burke said yes first.

Well, I guess I should go. But Meredith, I have to ask. Are you ever-would you ever come back? If given the choice, would you _choose_ to live in California, or would you move back to Washington? I'm not asking you to come back, that's your choice. A choice that I know you probably won't make. And just so you know...I love you, too, Mer. I never stopped loving you. It's something i'm still trying hard to figure out, but still know. Like you, I end up staying up late-it almost one. I've got surgery in the morning, so I really should gte to sleep. Bye, Meredith.

_Derek_

P.S.-I did get the chance to give Izzie your address the other day, so don't kill me if she ends up at your doorstep soon. Hey-you told me to do it.

P.P.S.-I love you. Really-I mean it. Every word of it. (You can picture me doing that smile you always said you hated here, by the way.) So, yeah, I really am going now. Okay?...Okay.

Hey Mer-it's me...again. I uh, I didn't send the letter. Atleast not yet, I got a call from the hospital. So-this is me...apoligizing. Funny, isn't it? Oh, by the way-O'Malley says hi. Putting this thing in the mail-Derek


	3. Like a Ton of Bricks

**Author's Note-You guys are great..I love getting reviews. If you want a specific person to send a letter or whatever, be sure to let me know. This is sort of a combined letter update, because Mer's getting a letter and she's sending one, too. Enjoy!**

Izzie wasn't sure why she was doing it, she was sure Meredith wouldn't care. But the friend in her, the one that missed the way things used to be, wanted to talk to her. She was on break in the on-call room, and instead of sleeping, she decided to write...

Dear Meredith-

God, how long has it been? Two years...and we get nothing? No letter, no phone call? Well, I guess you have a right to be mad, too. So much has changed here, well, I guess in some ways it's all the same. I'm at the hospital now, actually. Spending the five minutes of break I have writing to you. Happy?

I'm not bitter, Mer. I'm really not. I miss you is all. The house-it's so big and empty without you and George. And, please don't kill me for this but...I let Alex move in. I know, I know. Go ahead and kill me now. But apparently there was some issue with where he was living, so he came to live with me. I hope it's okay? Alex or not, the house is still huge, I mean seriously-how many rooms do two people who are rarely home in the first place need?

Anyway, I hope life in Los Angeles is good. Tell me...are there any McHotties? I mean, you're not holding out on all of us, are you? Of course you are, you're the one with the whole McFamily to begin with. Well, speaking of which-Derek's the one who gave me your address, anyway. He walked away mumbling something about wanting to follow you?..I don't know.

But really, Mer-how are you? Are you happy? Sad? Do you miss Seattle? Enough questions, right? Oh my god..okay, I can't believe I forgot to tell you. I guess McDreamy filled you in on everyone, but basically, not even two days ago-George popped the question. I'm not lying-he even did it at the hospital. Of all places! It's not that I don't like Callie, I've started to work with her, even. She has alot to offer-but George? I mean, come on, you don't expect her to refer to herself as 'Doctor Callie O'Malley', do you? It sounds like something off of TV.

George says hi, by the way...he was going to send you something, but he got paged to a surgery with Shepherd so...you know how that goes. Speaking of Shepherd, the guy's still pining for you. Okay, not exactly pining persay, but he mopes around. He was dating the girl like six months ago named Leslie-she was like...the opposite of you. Not that I'm comparing you two but she was all "Oh Doctor Shepherd, you're so good to me...you're so cute." It was gross...she showed up at the hospital wanting to hang all over him, even Mark (yes, McSteamy) asked her to leave. Well, as you can imagine, that one didn't last too long. And maybe two weeks ago, one of the new nurses here was totally flirting, but he wasn't buying it.

For what it's worth, the guy's still in love with you. I know the chances of coming back are zilch, probably even less than that. I want you to be happy, Meredith...the way you left was so abrupt. It was kind of wierd, but I guess I managed. And so you know, I don't hate you. You had things going on at the time. Yeah, it would have been nice to have all of my friends here. But your mother died, and apparently something happened between you and Derek that made you want to leave. It sucks...but we deal. Anyway, I just got paged-I gotta run. And hey-call me sometime? Or even Cristina, for that matter...or George. Maybe you can knock some sense into him.

Love, Izzie

_Two days after Meredith got the letter from Izzie, she called her-hoping the number was still the same. It was stupid, really-to think you get escape the past. Because now it was all coming back. She wrote Derek another letter, still too afraid to call him. Changing her number when she'd moved meant that he couldn't call her...so she prayed Izzie wouldn't spill the beans. _

Derek was on the porch, reading over the letter from Meredith. It didn't make sense-two years had passed, and he'd managed to move on without her. One letter from her, and suddenly the sky fell open. Strangely enough, the sky began to rain.

Dear Derek-

It seems so wierd...writing letters back and forth. It's like what they do in the movies, only this time it won't end the same way.

As much as I want to, I can't move back. There's too much going on right now with our intern program, there's too much happening. I have a life here, Derek-one that I can't just leave behind. Am I being too dramatic? I guess I need to make a few things clear.

I never stopped loving you, there's no way that I could have. No matter what happened between us, what happened at Prom is something that I've tried, but can't forget. It gets a little complicated after that, but basically I know what the hospital means to you. You were so dedicated to your job, and life itself-you were, and still are, a world reknowned surgeon...you don't have time for someone like me. I'm complicated, and hard to handle, and I come with baggage. History, Derek...so much has happened between us-so many things that we can't change. It hurts, I know...but we have to learn to live with what we're given.

I'm starting to sound like my mother. Maybe it's-well, nevermind. Just believe me when I say that I'd change things if I could. I have a confession to make, though. See, I'm not entirely staying in L.A. by choice? Okay, so I did pick the program that they have here, and believe me, it's great. But I have friends here now. I actually started dating someone about two weeks ago, and it's been so long since I've been with anyone who actually accepted me for me. That, and everything that I have going on in my life. I'm an intern who, despite her best interests, still manages to fail sometimes. Look at us-two years ago we could have had the perfect life together...we could have been happy. I screwed that up, no matter how much of it you think is your fault.

Okay, truth time...that baggage I mentioned earlier, well-it's not entirely baggage. That's another reason I have to stay. Derek, I need to tell you something...something that I really should have told you. Something that yes, I needed to tell you long before now. But I couldn't. I couldn't tell you. We weren't talking for the three weeks until I left, and when I found out, it scared me. It scared me so much that I didn't know what to do-I had already entered the internship program here, I couldn't just leave.

Derek? I have a child. I'm a mother. And-before you start counting back, yes. You're the father. She's beautiful, she really is. She's the reason I can't come back. Well, part of the reason. Don't get me wrong, I want her to know you-I wanna know you. But this job, it's all I have to support her. I have her in the hospital daycare for as long as I can, and have a friend who lives here take care of her until I'm off. If I came back to Seattle, it'd me too much for her...she's not even two, Derek. I guess that's one of the reasons why I thought of writing you, because of her, because of Elizabeth. She has your eyes, you know.

Please don't hate me-I hate myself enough. Believe me...I wanted to tell you. But I though you were with Addison, I really didn't want to ruin your life. You had enough going. But Elizabeth will be two soon. If you still love me like you say you do, I'd like for you to be there. It's not really going to be a party, she's just starting to understand the fact that she's almost two. Other than that, she has no idea. It scared the heck out of me to go through it without Izzie, or Cristina, or you. I miss you, Derek. But that can't change anything. I have to go-duty calls. I love you.

With Hope-Love,

_Meredith_


	4. A Surprise Meeting

**Author's Note: Okay, so I hope this story will still make sense. Basically, I'm not sure if I mentioned this to any of you before-but it _started_ as letters back and forth. I didn't really wanna say anything because I didn't want to spoil anything. But basically, it's going to be a full fledged story. Hope that's okay? Oh, and the name Elizabeth-well, I always liked that name. Plus, in Mer's world, it's a way to honor her mother. (Ellis-Elizabeth...get it?)...Anyway, read and review, please!**

* * *

The phone rang. And Rang. And Rang again. Meredith sighed, sitting down exhausted on the couch. "Come on...Answer the phone."

"Hello, you've reached Derek Shepherd. I'm sorry, but I can't get to the phone right now. Leave your name, number and what you're calling me for and I'll try my best to get back to you. Bye."

"Derek-"Meredith said, her fingers wrapping tightly around the phone. "It's Meredith. Look, it's been almost two weeks and I haven't heard from you. I know you're mad, but can you please try and see this from my point of view? I made a mistake..I get that. And I'm sorry. Okay? I'm-I'm sorry. Please try and understand." She stopped, taking a deep breath. "I really do love you. Elizabeth loves you. And Derek, she knows who you are...well, I've told her. Anyway-" She was greeted by a loud beeping sound signaling that the machine had cut her off.

Sighing, she set the phone down next to her. Walking into Elizabeth's room, she stood over her daughter's crib. "Hey, sweet pea...you know I just talked to your daddy on the phone?" The little girl in the crib squirmed a little, relaxing against her hand. "I know. I know. And believe me, if I could change this I would. But right now it's good, right?" Meredith smiled, pulling the blanket up. "Night, sweetie."

* * *

Derek walked into the trailer, taking his jacket off. Setting his keys on the table, he walked into the kitchen, pulling a beer out of the fridge. Letting out a sigh, he looked over at the counter and saw the blinking light on his answering machine. Pressing play, he heard her voice.

_Meredith. _Hearing Meredith's voice, Derek was taken back a little. Did she still look the same? Listening to her message, he slowly began ripping the lable off of his bottle. Taking a gulp, he sighed. Grabbing his jacket and keys, he headed back to the hospital, hoping Burke would still be there.

Maybe it was impulse, he didn't know. But he needed to see her..he wanted to see her. He wanted to see Elizabeth. Stopping at a stoplight, he wondered what she looked like. Did she really look like him?

* * *

"Burke-"Derek said, right outside of the Chief's office.

"Doctor Shepherd...I thought you left."

"I did. Are you leaving? I could come back tomorrow-"

"No, I guess I could make some time."Burke replied.

"Chief Burke...Doctor Shepherd, hi."Izzie said, walking into them.

"Is there something I can help you with?"Burke asked.

"Well, no actually...I was about to leave."

"Oh. Well see you tomorrow, then."

Izzie smiled, waving at Derek. "Okay."

"So-"Burke said, reopening the door to his office. "This won't take long?"

"Uh, no...I just-You know, this is kind of awkward."Derek said, sitting down.

Burke studied his face, trying to figure out what he could possibly be thinking. "What's the problem?"

Derek took a deep breath, rubbing his hands together. "It's...It's Meredith."

"Mer..Meredith? As in Grey?"Burke asked, having not heard mention of her in a long time. Seeing the look on Derek's face, he didn't even have to guess anymore. It was her. "What about her?"

"She uh...well, she wrote me the other day. And I wrote back. She uh...she's living in Los Angeles now, you know. Anyway...I know it's a lot to ask. But-"

"You want a few days to make up for lost time, right?"He asked.

Derek ran his hands through his hair, standing up. "I don't know. I don't know. I mean she-she just writes me a letter out of the blue. I haven't talked to her in nearly two years and she goes and drops a bomb like this. And i'm suppoed to take it? Just...forget it happened?"

"Derek...Doctor Shepherd..sit down."Burke insisted, watching Derek pace back and forth. "If you can come up with a reason...a medical reason that you would need to be in L.A. I can grant you a few days...a week at the most. You have vacation hours stacked up, granted there are chances that a surgery could come up while you're gone."

"It'll only be a few days."He insisted. "A few days. I go down there...convince her to come back-and everything's fine. "Derek said, unwilling to sit down. "We have-I have..."He stopped, thinking of the right words to say. "A daughter. A _daughter_, Burke. She never once told me. And yet..."

Burke waved his hand cooly. "Okay. Okay. The day after tomorrow..go home, come back here. You don't have any surgeries schedule over the weekend. You have the weekend, Shepherd. You are an asset to this hospital, so please..don't act on impulse."

Derek nodded, shaking his hand. "Thanks, Doctor Burke."

* * *

Derek went to work Friday, performing several surgeries. He had packed his bag the night before and left it in his car. He hadn't called Meredith-he had wanted to but knew better. Leaving that day, instead of driving home he drove to the airport, a fit of bunched nerves.

He was in L.A. that night after taking the midnight flight. He'd managed to book a hotel room and slept...he kne he'd need it.

* * *

**Saturday Night**

"Oh, sweetie...it's okay."Meredith said, holding Elizabeth in her arms. "Honey...I wanna help you. I want to. But I don't know what to do. Are you okay?"She said, watching the rain outside of the living room window. "Elizabeth...honey." She saw carlights heading up her driveway. "Who could that be? It's almost eight o'clock...maybe it's Scott? Or Tara?" She walked towards the door, waiting for the knock.

"Tara?"Elizabeth muttered, nestled safely against Meredith's shoulder. For the moment, she was content with her mother holding her.

"Hey, it's kind of late to be-"Meredith stopped, staring at him. "Derek."

Derek drew a deep breath, nodding. "Meredith."

"You...came to L.A.."

"Yeah."

"Yeah..."Meredith said, shifting Elizabeth to her hip.

"Is that-"He said, gesturing to the now quiet child in her arms.

Meredith smiled sadly. "Yeah. Do you wanna come in?"

He nodded, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. Surveying the room-he was met with what one would expect...a home. A blanket-a baby blanket was on the couch and a toddler's sippy cup lay close by. On the radio he heard sounds of classical music-something he hadn't expected. "So-"

"It helps her sleep."Meredith said, referring to the music.

"She's being a little cranky...I think it's because of the storm. But we're gonna be okay, right?"Meredith asked, kissing the top of Elizabeth's head.

Elizabeth reached up to kiss Meredith on the cheek before settling against her shoulder. "I'm tired, mommy."

Derek's heart melted when he saw them. He'd missed so much. So much time with their daughter..with Meredith. "Could I-"He said, clearing his throat. "I mean...would it be okay if..."

"Derek, she's your daughter. I'm-"

"Don't apoligize. Please...this is my fault, too. So uh-"

They stood in silence, getting lost in each other's eyes. It meant so much in that one moment. It wasn't a picture, it wasn't a surgery tape...it was in person. They hadn't been this close since-since Prom. The silence was broken by Elizabeth letting out a cry.

"Oh, I don't know what to do. I mean, she claims she's tired. But then when I hold her, it's like-"Meredith said, searching for the right words to say.

"It's okay. You don't have to explain."Derek said.

Meredith outstretched her arms. "Do you want to hold her?"

He nodded, for the first time taking his little girl in his arms. For the first time he saw her face. She had dark brown hair, and blue eyes. _His_ blue eyes. "She...Elizabeth-"

Meredith blinked back tears, biting her lip. "Derek..."

"No, I was...I was going to say she looks like me. Our daugher...that-that isn't being too-"

"No. Not at all..she should be getting to bed soon. Do you wanna take her?"

Though disappointed, Derek agreed. Walking down the hall, they came upon her room. Walking towards the wall, Derek looked at her in the light of her night light. She looked beautiful. Feeling himself get choked up, he then noticed that she had stopped crying. "So uh...I guess I should just lay her down, then."

"You can stay in here for a while if you want. I mean, when I have time I try and rock her...she likes that."

"You trust me?"

Meredith nodded, wondering why he was taking it all so calmly. "You need a moment alone. It's okay. Derek-"She said, stopping in the doorway.

"Yeah?"He asked, sitting down in the rocking chair.

"Hmm-"She muttered, clearing her throat. '"It's nothing. I'm good. I'll be out in the living room."

Derek was left alone with his daughter for the first time. He wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel? He missed his daughter's first birthday...he'd missed so much else. But now-sitting with her in her room...seeing her toys and the pictures on her stand...he felt at home. There was one of him and Meredith from early in their relationship sitting on the dresser. Looking down at the child in his arms, he felt tears sting his eyes. "You and me, Elizabeth...we've got alot of catching up to do."


	5. What Do We Do Now?

**Author's Note: So after reading several MerDer fics in the past few days, I'm really in a mood to write. We won't have any new scenes until January 4th...so fanfic's gotta hold us over. But i've kinda been dreading this chapter. A little. 'Cause it gets kinda angsty at the beginning. But it's been two years, ya know-so it had to happen. Anyway, read and review, please. Oh, and I'm working on a christmas Mer/Der, too-so look for that soon.**

* * *

Derek walked out of Elizabeth's room a little while later to find Meredith sitting on the couch reading through _People_ magazine. Clearing his throat, Derek stuffed his hands in his pockets. "She's beautiful." 

Smiling, Meredith set her magazine down. "Derek-"

"I just...I wanna know why, Mer."

"I already told you why."

Derek walked towards the middled of that room, and stood directly in front of her. With nothing but the coffee table seperating them, he sighed. "I missed two years of my daughter's life because you couldn't find the courage to pick up a damn phone? Meredith, we're talking about a child here. _Our_ child. I know that you have a life here...but did you ever plan to tell me? Or just hope that one day she'd ask where her dad was...giving you the perfect oppurtunity to tell me "Oh, by the way Derek...we have a kid." Look, Meredith...I understand-she's amazing, and I haven't heard her talk or anything. But still-"

"Don't you think I wanted to tell you?"Meredith said, standing up. "I _did_ call you. Twice. Both times Addison was the one who answered the phone. What was I supposed to think-that you and Addison had broken up, but remained living together? I don't know how many ways I can tell you...I am sorry, Derek."

He sighed, pacing the carpet. He didn't hate her, there was no way he could. But it was insane to him, to keep someone from their child. "So..."He said, clapping his hands against his legs loudly. "What do we do?"

"I was actually planning on asking you that."Meredith replied, laughing a little. It was the longest they had been in a room with each other since the night Elizabeth was concieved, and she was just now beginning to understand how huge it was.

"What's she like?"

Meredith looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes. "She's alot like you, actually. She doesn't really talk yet, but she's strong. In the hospital daycare, they have a baby who's a little younger than her. The other day when I went to check on her, Elizabeth was helping the other little girl. I guess she dropped a toy or something."

Derek nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Listen, about earlier-"

"No. You...You have a right to hate me."

"I don't hate you, Meredith. I just wish you could have told me. At the time, Webber was still Chief. I'm sure he woulda let you back in the program. Granted, you probably wouldn't have been with Cristina and Alex and all the others. But Mer?...There were options."

"I'm an intern, Derek. My mother had died, you and Addison were still together...and I didn't actually find out until I was enrolled in the program here. If I stayed...there would have been so many things happening. So many people would have hated me and made my life..."Meredith stopped, wetting her lips. Sighing, she avoided his gaze. He was staring at her, and she hated it.

She hated the fact that he could still read her. She hated the fact that he was right, that she could have stayed. But more than anything, she hated the fact that there, standing in the living room with him, she realized how much she still loved him.

Derek continued staring, continued trying to read her. He felt guilty. He had flown to L.A. to see her, to try and get her to come back, but he now began to wonder if he had made the right choice. From just looking at her, hearing the things she said, Derek knew that she was beating herself up about it.

"So uh...can I get you anything? I think I have some beer in the fridge. But you're driving, and it's old so...I have some soda, too."

It wasn't much. In fact, it wasn't even a half of a two-liter. He considered it a peace offering of sorts. They were sitting in chairs at her dining table sharing a bottle of sprite.

He was still mad, Meredith could tell. But for now, and for Elizabeth's sake, he was keeping quiet. "How long are you here?"

"I leave tomorrow night. I can call Burke and ask him to lengthen the trip but..."Derek let his sentence dangle, staring down at the carbonated bubbles floating in his soda.

"Did you tell anyone?"Meredith asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Derek's head shot up. "No. But I have a feeling Izzie might have overheard."

Meredith laughed, sadness shining in her eyes. "So basically by the time you come back, all of SGH will know."

"Probably. But she means well."

"Yeah, she does...but the whole 'spreading gossip' thing. You know...I miss her, though. Izzie was...well, her and Cristina were the closest thing to family I'd had in a long time. George and Alex, too. Everyone...anyway, are you hungry?"Meredith asked, suddenly deciding to change the subject.

"Uh, not really. But if you're offering-"

Meredith walked into the kitchen, opening up her fridge. Scanning its contents (which wasn't much) she then closed the door. Opening the freezer, she found a few frozen dinners. "Spaghetti or beef stroganoff?"

"Either one."Derek said, getting up. Looking at the fridge, he saw pictures. Pictures of Meredith with Elizabeth, just Elizabeth, and pictures of Meredith witha few people he didn't know.

Seeing what Derek was doing, Meredith closed the microwave, pressed a few buttons, and walked back over to him. "The girl there...that's Tara, and the guy in the middle is Scott."

"Scott?"Derek asked, suspicious.

"Scott's the one who takes care of Elizabeth until my shift ends. He's cool, don't worry."

Knowing that he had no say, Derek simply stared at the pictures of Elizabeth, there were only a few, but enough to give him an idea of who she was. There was one of her wearing a stethoscope, to which he had to laugh. "So we have a young doctor, huh?"

"I don't know. She's pretty loud...when she wants to be."

Derek felt a pang in his heart, thinking of all the 'loud' moments and memory moments he had missed. Sure, she wasn't exactly gabbing away or anything, but at nearly two years old, Elizabeth was a smart baby.

The dinging of the microwave sent Derek back to the table. "Beef Stroganoff."He said, taking the fork from Meredith. In the brief moment, their finger brushed against each other. He wanted so much to take her into his arms, to shake her, to hold her to-kiss her? Shaking the thoughts from his head, Derek began to eat.

"It's not exactly homeade, but it does the trick when I'm working late."Meredith said, sitting down to watch him eat.

"It's good."Derek insisted.

Neither of them knew what to say to fill the void. They had catching up to do, drastic catching up to do. Two years had passed, and yet neither of them could find a thing to say.

When Derek finished eating, he wiped at the sides of his mouth with a napkin. Clearing his throat, he drew a deep breath. He didn't know if he'd regret it, but figured he had nothing else he could do.

"Meredith?"

"Yeah?"

Derek frowned, as if deep in thought, his blue eyes growing an even sharper blue. "Come back with me. You don't...You don't have to stay. But to visit. For a day-maybe two. We'll tour the hospital, see how much things changed...see Seattle..stop by Joe's-and you can fly back. If you want to."

She wanted to say yes, she need to say yes. But she couldn't find the right words. Their conversation was interrupted by a cry. "I have to get her...I'll be back."

Sinking further in his chair, Derek watched her walk away. This time, he was determined to stop her from walking. He knew the second she saw everyone again, Meredith would want to stay. The trick was actually getting her on the plane.


	6. Hanging By A Moment

**Author's note:Thanks for the reviews. They mean so much to me, and to know someone's reading means a ton. So yeah, Bailey will have a role in the story, maybe write a letter or phone call-just not yet. Anyway, hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Meredith returned to the kitchen a little while later to find Derek still sitting at the table. "One of her stuffed animals fell on the floor."She said, sitting at the end of the table. 

"You ran out before you answered me."Derek said. It wasn't that he was angry, but he needed to know. He wanted to know if she would go.

"Derek, I can't just take off of work to go to Seattle."Meredith protested, knowing that he was annoyed.

"What do you think I did?...Burke was kind enough to give me today and tomorrow. I can't just drop my life, either."

Meredith hung her head, staring down at the table. "I don't know what to say."

"Well, you could come back with me."

"I can't move back to Seattle, Derek. It's just...it's not gonna happen. Seriously."She said, watching his eyes change. He looked so sad now, almost heartbroken.

He shifted in his chair. Taking a sip from his soda, he let it slide down his throat. "So, I guess I'll leave now. I'll be back in the morning to you know, take you to work or something. Do you work tomorrow?"

"I'm off, actually."Meredith said, staring down at her drink. "You could come see Elizabeth if you wanted."She said, quietly.

"Watch her? You mean you'll actually trust me with her?"Derek asked, finding it a little hard to believe.

Studying his face, Meredith nodded. "She's your daughter. You deserve time with her."

"A little late for that."Derek muttered, not wanting to look at her. If he looked at her, he felt like he'd scream, he felt like he'd want to grab her and just shake her. Not literally, of course, but he wanted her to see that going to Seattle wouldn't be that bad.

"Derek..."Meredith said, trying to choose her words carefully. "If..If I go with you...to Seattle...you have to promise me something."

Trying not to smile, Derek nodded. "Okay, I can deal with that."

"Don't try and change my mind. I'm living here in L.A.-it's where I plan to stay...this trip to Seattle is just-a little vacation."

"Okay."

"Seriously?"

Nodding, Derek extended his hand towards hers. "Seriously."

Shaking his hand, Meredith was brought back by the feeling of his hand. Derek was always warm, and it wasn't long before she started wishing that she was doing more than just shaking his hand. Shaking the thoughts from her head, Meredith offered a smile, but still didn't pull her hand away.

"So..."

"So...right."Meredith said, laughing. Reluctantly, she pulled her hand away. "I'll walk you to the door. Did you drive?"

"Yeah..I rented a car. I didn't know you know, if we'd drive anywhere tomorrow."He said, standing up.

They walked towards the door and stood there, neither knowing what to do. Derek smiled, shaking his head.

"What?"

He shrugged, opening the door. "I'll see you tommorrow?"

"Yep. Goodbye, Derek."

"Bye, Mer."

* * *

Walking back into the house, Meredith remembered the mail on the coffee table. Going through it, she sunk safely into the couch. There was a few bills, a few pieces of junkmail and-a letter? Reading the front, she realized it was from Cristina. 

_Mer-_

_What the hell? A kid?...And you never told anyone? Since when did you become a member of the squad? Whatever. Anyway, McDreamy's going crazy around here, and Izzie might have said something to me. Well, it was more to all of us. So you know, I thought I should warn you. _

_What's going on, Mer? You never call...you never write? And now all of a sudden you decide to announce the fact you have a kid? Don't take it the wrong way, but ya know...Seattle's not too far away. _

_I guess I have alot of room to talk. I'm engaged. Me! Burke proposed like a few months ago, but we haven't really told anyone because well...you know what happened last time. So how's life? And don't you dare say boring because I swear I'll come down there and kidnap you myself. Has motherhood tamed you? Well, anyway, you know where to find me. Oh, and George is seriously sitting next to me begging me to tell you things...yeah...him and Callie?..totally engaged. Unbelieveable! Well, I guess I can deal. Seriously though, I hope life's good..._

_Cristina_

Folding the letter, Meredith sighed. Everyone-all of a sudden-was wanting her to come back. She wondered if the whole going back thing would end up being a mistake. Sure, she knew she wanted to see everyone again, but inside she had the nagging feeling. She knew the second she saw everyone, she'd want to stay.

* * *

Derek showed up the next morning to find Meredith and Elizabeth still sleeping. Sitting on the front porch, he decided to wait. He didn't want to call, knowing that he didnt want to wake Elizabeth, and that it was still pretty early.

He had been sitting outside for nearly fifteen minutes when he saw a red sports car pull into the driveway. A tall, blonde man got out and stared at him. "Who are you?"The man asked.

Derek stood, suspicious. He wasn't that formidable of a man, Derek thought. He was wearing jeans and a brown-collared shirt, and sunglasses. "Derek Shepherd. And you are?"

While Derek couldn't see his eyes, he was sure the man was scowling. "Scott Foreman...you're...Elizabeth's father?"

"Meredith told you about me?"He asked.

"She's mentioned you, yes. I wasn't aware that you were here."Scott said, clearly annoyed. "Mer's off today, but I was just going to take the girls out for breakfast. She's always at work, so she never really gets to get out and do anything. When she does, Elizabeth tags along, of course, so she never gets to go anywhere she wants. Breakfast is always a safe bet. You could come if you want."

"I wouldn't wanna interrupt."

"Well, you're obviously here for a reason, Mister...Doctor Shepherd. By the way, have you stopped by LAGH?...It's a great hospital, really."Scott said.

"Not yet, no."

"So Seattle Grace must be a great place, for giving you days off like this."He replied, tension clearly evident in his voice.

Derek shifted his weight, looking back towards the house. "Well, I am the neurosurgeon. I manage to rack up vacation hours, so I can deal. You work at the hospital?"

"Oh no, I'm a mechanic. Mer and me met when her car broke down about..."Scott paused, thinking back. "A year and a...half ago, I think?"

Anger slowly started to boil. _Mer_ was his-not...not some guy named Scott Foreman. Suddenly, Scott's phone rang. "Hello?...uh-huh. Are you serious? I'm telling you Jake needs to get that thing fixed-it's the third time in a month. Okay. Okay...bye." He hung up, staring at Derek through his sunglasses. "Guess it's your lucky day, huh?...One of the clients is coming in again, he's got major issues."He said, climbing back into his car. "Tell her I called."

* * *

Meredith got up when she heard the car start, and looked out the window. Going to the front door, she saw Derek turning towards the door. She opened the door, smiling a little. "Hi."

"So...I met Scott."He replied, pointing to the driveway.

"You did, did you?"Meredith asked, picking up on the annoyance in his voice.

"Yeah."

"Do you wanna come in?"She asked, opening the door to a further angle.

Derek shrugged. "Sure. And uh...Scott says hi. He was here to take you and Elizabeth to breakfast?"

"I'm not seeing him."

Derek looked back at her, seeing that he had obviously touched a nerve. "That's not what I said."

"Right."Meredith said, nervous. "I just-you _implied_."

"Oh, right...right. I _implied._"He answered, enjoying annoying her. "Not that..you seeing anyone would bother me."

"Why would it?"

Grinning in classic McDreamy style, he shrugged. "It doesn't."

Drawing a breath, Meredith nodded. "Okay. So where are we going today?"

"Well, I could make you and Elizabeth breakfast-"Derek's words were interrupted by the ringing of yet another cellphone-his. "Derek Shepherd."

"Shepherd..I realize how spur of the moment this is-"

"Doctor Burke...Is something wrong?"

The line was silent for a moment of Burke's end, he was trying to collect his thoughts. "It's Stevens. There's been an accident...apparently, she was involved. She's doing fine for now, but there's reason to believe she could need surgery."

"What do you want me to do?"

"I've sent the hospital's jet for you. We need you here, Shepherd. I do apoligize for any inconvienence."Burke said, a sense of worry stirring in him.

Derek nodded. "Okay. I'll be at L.A.X., then?"

"Exactly. Someone will be waiting for you at the airport. Have a safe trip, Shepherd."

Derek hung up the phone, an absent look visible on his face.

"Derek?"Meredith said, her voice afraid.

He looked at her, taking a deep breath. "It's Izzie."

"Izzie?"

"There was...an accident. They...They need me."

"Well, go..."

"But what about you?...You were planning..."

"I know, Derek. But I can...I'll schedule my flight today, I swear. Derek, you need to leave."Meredith insisted, feeling worry pass overf in her in waves. "Did he say what happened?"

Derek shook his head. "No. But _you_ need to call LAGH. Pack a bag...whatever. The jet's being sent for us."

"You mean for you. Derek, I can't just go-"

"For God's sakes, Meredith...you're Meredith _Grey. _I doubt we'll have trouble."

She nodded, staring into his eyes. "She'll be okay, right?"

"She better be. Come on,"Derek said. "We don't have much time."


	7. A Not So Warm Welcome

**Author's Note: Thanks so much for the reviews. I know, the whole Izzie thing was a bit dramatic-but in reality, I needed an excuse to get Meredith on the plane. Now...Read and Review, please!**

* * *

She heard the sounds-she saw the lights. It still didn't seem real. Meredith sat in the chair at Seattle Grace hospital, scanning faces. So far, she had managed to get by without being recognized, but she knew it wouldn't last long. Toying with her jacket sleeve, she looked down at Elizabeth in her babyseat. "Hey sweetie...are you hungry?"She asked, pulling her out. 

"I need to check on her. She's my intern-I'll scrub in if I have to."

Meredith heard the voice coming from the hallway and almost instantly cringed. Bailey.

"I'm sorry Doctor Bailey, but you're too close to the case-"

"Oh, like Shepherd isn't? Fine..But I expect updates on Izzie's condition."She said, walking into the waiting room. Stopping dead in her tracks, she stared at sight before her. "Grey? Is that you?"

Meredith turned her head, nodding. "Hi, Doctor Bailey."

Walking closer, Bailey stared at the child in Meredith's arms. "Well, I may have heard a rumor or two about you comin' back, but I didn't think it was true. What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story. Derek...Doctor Shepherd-he came to visit me. And then Burke...Chief Burke-I guess he called him to tell him about Izzie. So here I am."

"So I see. And this is..."Bailey said, sitting next to her.

Looking at her daughter, then at Bailey, Meredith smiled. "This is Elizabeth."

"She's yours?"

"Yeah."

Bailey nodded, for once not giving orders. "How old is she?"

Meredith's heart sunk. She knew once she said how old Elizabeth was, Bailey would know. "She's almost two."

"Almost two, huh? Well, she's a cute little thing."

"Thank You, Doctor Bailey."Meredith said, sighing.

"She's Shepherd's, isn't she?"Bailey asked, protruding the silence.

Without a word, Meredith simply nodded.

Nodding, Bailey felt sympathy for her, becaus being a mother herself, she knew how Meredith felt. "Don't beat yourself up, Grey. You did what you thought was best for your child...that's all you can do."

"I guess so."

"You guess so? Grey, when I was your age, I was going through alot of trials myself as an intern. Granted, I didn't have a kid back then...but I still blamed myself for alot of mistakes. And you know what?...I still do. But we all do. You can't beat yourself up over that."Bailey said, staring at the little girl. "She's beautiful."

"Thank You."

Bailey sighed, standing up. "I'm gonna go see if I can get an update on Izzie. Have you seen the others?"

"Not yet, no."

"Do they know you're here?"

Meredith shrugged.

Nodding, Bailey left the room.

* * *

Derek walked into the waiting room to spot Meredith standing with Elizabeth by the wall. "Izzie's in ICU."

Spinning around, Meredith looked concerned. "So she's okay?"

"She will be. I was able to stop the bleeding-there was internal damage, but she's sleeping now. I told her you're here."

"You told her?"

"She saw me...I had to tell her."Derek said.

"Oh."

Derek nodded, walking towards them. "I could watch her...or you could put her in the hospital daycare."

"Why?"

"Well, I assumed that you wanted to go see Izzie. But if you think it's too soon-"

"I don't even know how long I'm here. I guess now is as good a time as any. But wait...I'm not...family."Meredith said, growing sad.

He understood. "She asked that noone notify her mother...so you, Cristina, George and Alex...you all are her family."

"Okay. Are you sure?...I mean, I can't just show up there in ICU, wanting to see Izzie. Everyone will be there...there'll be questions-"

"Then deal with them. Mer...they miss you, too. So go."

Knowing that she couldn't wait forever, Meredith decided that she'd go.

* * *

"So what?...we can't all go in there at once."George said.

"Well one of us has to...we're taking our lunch, and Iz is in there"Alex said.

She heard them...and it brought her back. She was just outside the ICU, and was beginning to feel that maybe she made a mistake. They wouldn't just forgive her. They wouldn't let her walk in. Opening the door, Meredith watched their expressions change.

"You're back?"Cristina asked.

"I had to come. Please...don't hate me."

George walked towards her, hugging her tight. "You're back. You're here and..."He pulled back. "You're back?"

Alex rolled his eyes. "She here, isn't she?"

Meredith sighed, looking into Izzie's room. "So, I know we have catching up to do but...one of us has to go in there."

"And what-you want it to be you?"

"Cristina!"George blurted, looking over at her.

"What?...I just don't think Meredith should be the first to see Izzie. She can't just-show up with her kid and expect to be given special treatment. We have protocol to follow here."

"Wait-"Alex said, still processing what Cristina had said. "You've got a kid?"

Meredith nodded, knowing that some resistance was to be expected. "I thought everyone knew by now. After-"

"After one day on a whim, you suddenly decide to write McDreamy and tell him he has a kid?"

"Cristina, why are you so bitter about it? Don't you think she's been through enough?"George asked

Cristina nodded, sighing. "I know. But it's-God, Mer...you never call or anything? I was supposed to be your...person. Okay, yeah-that sounds really bad out loud."

Meredith knew what she meant. And it hurt. Coming back wasn't easy, she knew that. George was surprisingly defensive to her, and for that she was grateful. Alex was quiet, and Cristina for once seemed to be emotional.

"I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know. And I appreciate it."Meredith said, sighing. She was thinking about all the times they had had, and the ones she had surely missed. It hurt to know that she had missed so much, that because she chose to run meant that she lost the best friends she'd ever had.

They all exchanged glances and decided that Alex should be the one to go in first, because he was her boyfriend. George got paged and had to leave, but Cristina went in next with her regards. It ended up being a short visit, because she had to leave, too. Meredith stood in the doorway, finding herself being brought back again. There, in the hospital bed, was Izzie.

She was the one who had argued with George over bedrooms, she was the one who had complained with her over men, who had woken up early just to make breakfast. She was the one who had gotten them to decorate at Christmas, because she was excited. She was Izzie.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith walked into the room. "I'm not sure what to say to you. I should have a million things to say to you. But I don't. I can't...I can't think of anything."

Izzie stirred a little in her bed, but still didn't wake up.

"I'm sorry. Okay? That's what I have to say. I'm sorry. For everything. For...leaving. For not telling you that I had a kid. For leaving you when you needed a friend."Meredith said, finding herself wiping away a tear. She was focused on Izzie, and didn't hear the door open. "I've made mistakes. I know that more than anyone esle does. And-I'm sorry. I want Elizabeth to know who her mommy's friends are...not that we're still friends or anything. You don't owe me that much. But I really am sorry, Izzie."

A hand reached out, handing her a tissue. Looking up, her eyes met Derek's. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Will she be okay?"Meredith asked in a tiny voice.

"She'll need to stay here to heal, but she should be."

It was all she needed to hear, and she felt her defences melting away. Along with them, her excuses. Izzie needed her, and until she was sure she was okay, Meredith wasn't leaving.


	8. All I Need Is Time

**Author's Note: Okay, so I hope that everyone had a safe and happy new year. Glad to see that people are reading this story. I've been kind of productive as far as fanfic goes this year (though it's only the second day, haha)-I finished _Chocolates, Lies, and Four Letter Words_ yesterday-it wasn't the best ending, but it was time to let it go. **

**Anyway, I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. There is so much stuff going on at Seattle Grace now, and in Seattle itself. Also, I wanted to get the timeline straightened out incase anyone was confused. See, two years after Meredith left Seattle is when this takes place. But obviously, she was pregnant before she left. Therefore, for times sake-Elizabeth was born in February...because the prom was in may, right? (And if anyone finds that to be false, be sure to let me know, please). Anyway, I hope I didn't just confuse you more than you already were...Enjoy. And please...I know that something's up, because I haven't been getting alerts or anything like that lately, but if you could, try and leave a review...let me know things you want to see!**

**Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything. Sadly.

* * *

**

Meredith was sitting in Izzie's room for quite some time before she heard anyone else. She found her mind drifting back to the last time she was at the hospital. She had confirmed her exchange into L.A. general's program, gave the Chief a hug, and he bid her farewell.

Leaving without really telling any of her friends probably wasn't the best thing to do, but Meredith felt the need to leave. She couldn't bare seeing Derek any longer, and she felt that after her mother died, there wasn't really anything holding her back any longer. Seattle didn't need her, so someone must. Boston was her first choice, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized that someone would look for her there. Namely, Derek.

The day Meredith found out she was pregnant was a day she could never forget. She was standing in the bathroom of her apartment (she had yet to move into a house yet), staring down at the stick, holding her breath for as long as she could remember. When the test proved positive, her whole world stopped. Pregnant? Knowing that there was no way it could be Finn's, knowing that Derek was indeed the father sent Meredith into a frenzy. He had to know. But, the more she thought, the more guilt sank in. She left. She was the one who made the choice, so in the end, he'd end up blaming her, right?

Shaking her head, Meredith brought herself back to the present. Izzie's hospital room. She heard a rustling noise and looked over to the bed to see Izzie's eyelids fluttering open. "Izzie?"

Izzie darted her eyes towards the voice, struggling to see who it was. "Mer...Meredith?"

Tears forming, Meredith nodded her head. "Yeah."

"What are you doing here?"She asked, wincing from the pain.

"Just a minute. We need a doctor. You just woke up."

Trying to sit up, Izzie quickly laid back down, due to the pain. "What happened?"She asked, her voice sore.

"You were in an accident. Do you rememer anything?"She asked, seeing Derek walk back in the room.

"Doctor Stevens..glad to see you're awake. How are you feeling?"He asked, checking her monitors.

"I've been better. But really-what happened?"

Derek looked at Meredith, then at Izzie. "You survived a car accident. Everything's fine, as it should be...you'll need to stay here, for atleast a few days. You suffered some scarring, I had to go in and stop the bleeding, but all in all, you should be okay."

Izzie closed her eyes, sighing. "So that's why I have an aching pain in the back of my head."

"Alright. Well, I'll leave you two alone. But I'll have the nurse bring in your medication. Rest, Doctor Stevens."

With that Derek shut the door, leaving Meredith and Izzie alone. "So..."Izzie said, knowing that she should rest.

"I could leave. Come back later."

"No. Stay."Izzie insisted.

Staring at her friend, Meredith nodded. "Okay, I'll stay. Everyone came to see you. Well, not everyone. But Alex, and George. And Cristina. "

Forcing a smile, Izzie urged her to continue.

"I guess I deserved to be last. After everything that's happened."

"How is she?"Izzie asked, speaking of Meredith's daughter.

"She's here. At the hospital. In the daycare center."She replied, smiling. "Listen, Iz. I know I have so much to explain...and I know that you have questions for me. But wouldn't it be best to just...rest?"

"I don't know. You came all the way to Seattle, and then you ask me to rest?"

Meredith averted her gaze, looking at the door.

"Why do you keep running, Mer? Every...Every time you have a problem, you run."

The silence in the room grew thicker as Meredith hung her head. She was right. "I know. I do. I'm trying to change that. I just haven't gotten around to everything yet."

"So does this mean you'll stay?"Izzie asked.

"I dunno. I need to go back to Los Angeles eventually, Izzie. But I can visit every now and then."

Izzie's eyes grew disappointed, and she began to look elsewhere. She was too tired, too in pain to realy argue. When the nurse came in to give her her medicine, Meredith quietly stepped out.

* * *

"So the prodigal intern returns...would you have anything to do with that?"Miranda asked, walking up to Derek.

Offering a smile, Derek shrugged. "That depends, Doctor Bailey. Would it be a good thing?"

Sighing, Miranda looked down at the chart in her hand. "All I'm sayin' is that you need to give Grey a break...try not to pressure her is all. With Izzie in ICU, and the possibility of running into old foes around here isn't gonna help any."

Shaking his head, Derek let out a soft laugh. "You really haven't changed, have you?"

"No."She said, beginning to walk away. "Look, I'm not tryin' to pry. Okay? I'm not tryin' to run your life...'cause God knows you wouldn't listen, anyway. But I can see that look in your eye, Shepherd. It's the same one you had when you were about to start something again."

"What makes you so sure?"Derek asked.

"I just do. Now, get back to work. This is a hospital."She said, walking away.

* * *

Meredith nervousily walked into the daycare center, spotting Elizabeth in a corner.

"Hi. You're here to pick up your daughter?"The woman asked.

"Yes, I am. I...hope that's okay?"Meredith asked.

"Oh, of course. Hey, you two..stop arguing. Excuse me..I have to go break up a fight between twins...wish me luck."The woman said, walking away. "Oh-just sign out. Her things are in the bin by the door."

Doing as she was instructed, Meredith walked back to where Elizabeth was, and watched as her little girl's eyes lit up when she saw her. "Hey, Sweetie. I told you mommy would be back."

Saying goodbye, Meredith left the daycare center and walked back into the hallway.

"I need the labs, Karev. We need to get Mrs.Gooding into O.R as soon as possible-"Addison said, stopping in the hallway. "Oh. Meredith I...I didn't know you where here."

Offering a cold smile, Meredith sighed. "Noone did, really. I'll see you later, Doctor Montgomery."

"Wait. Doctor Grey."She said, slowly trying to process her thoughts. "You...You have a daughter."

"Yes."

Slowly beginning to understand things, Addison simply shook her head. "Oh. Okay. Well, excuse me. Duty calls."

Watching Addison walk away sent a sudden chill down her spine. Meredith needed to get out of the hospital, soon. And preferably, without being noticed. However, as she climbed on the elevator, she realized how quick that dream would end. In the elevator, was Derek.

"Hi."

"Hi."Derek replied, looking at Elizabeth. "So I take it the daycare went well?"

"It did."Meredith said as the doors closed. "Going home?"

"Well, to a hotel I guess. I still have a key to the old house, but it wouldn't be right for me to just go in there."Meredith replied, shrugging. "So Elizabeth and I are gonna go get some lunch, and then we'll see what we can do."

Satisfied, Derek nodded. "Okay."He said as the elevator doors opened. "This is my stop. I'll see you later, Mer."


	9. Somewhere Between Unsure and a Hundred

**Author's Note: Thanks for all of those reading and reviewing. This chapter for the most part focuses on Derek, or things occuring around him because I know that I haven't been doing it that much lately. Also, I will be bringing back the letters again-but not as whole chapters. Just short, concise ones. Hope that makes sense. Anyway, hope you enjoy. Read and review, please!**

* * *

Derek thanked the wife of a patient and continued walking down the hallway to Izzie Stevens' room in ICU for one last check before he left. When he got there, Cristina and Alex were situated on different sides of her bed. Nodding at them, he cleared his throat. "Do you guys...well, not to change the subject but-" 

"Think you're going easy on her? Dude, you followed her-"

"Alex-"Cristina said, tired. "Look, you wanna know what I think? I think that Mer needs help. No, not medical..but she needs her friends. Just like Izzie does. I...I wanted to thank you. For flying back to do the surgery."

Looking at Izzie's chart, and performing a few simple tests, Derek felt relieved to realize that her condition was improving. Granted, Izzie still came in and out of conciousness-something that worried him a little. "They're both strong. I have to go...I suppose I will see the both of you tomorrow."He said, quickly exiting her room. He sighed, shaking his head. Leaving the ICU, he found the closest elevator and climbed aboard.

* * *

It was raining by the time Derek walked out of Seattle Grace. He hung his jacket over his arm, trudging his way. He had made up his mind that he'd go home and take a shower before attempting to call Meredith. It was impulse, really. But he needed to see her. He wanted to see Elizabeth, though he still found it hard to understand. He had a daughter, Meredith kept her away from him and yet-he still felt drawn to her. 

"Derek?"

He stopped, recognizing the voice coming from behind him. "Addison."He said firmly. It was true that she had stayed at Seattle Grace after the divorce, but the biggest surprise was that they were able to remain friends through everything. Awkard, and no where near as close, but friends.

"How..."She said, stepping closer to him. "How are you? I mean, I know it's not my business. But I heard.."

He lowered his head, sighing. 'I dunno, Addison. I mean...I love Meredith, I'd be lying if I said I didn't."He said, looking up into her eyes. "But-she kept my daughter from me. And she's...she's not even planning to stay in town."

"She's not?"Addison asked as the rain misted around them.

Derek shook his head, shrugged. "Don't ask me. I guess after Izzie's okay, she's leaving again. I wouldn't be surprised if she already bought her ticket."

"For what it's worth...I'm sorry. I know how much a baby would mean to you...and Meredith-"

"Well, we still have to sort things out. Anyway.."He said, wiping the water droplets from his face.

Addison nodded, moving tendril of hair behind her ear. "Okay. So I'll..I'll see you later. Bye."She said, watching him take off as the clouds began to pour.

* * *

He was in the car, dialing her number, quickly turning on the air to erase the steam. "Mer...where are you?"He asked, hearing laughing coming from the other end. 

"Derek."She said firmly, as if she seemed upset. "I'm at a hotel. Why?"

"I was hoping I could see the both of you. Which hotel are you at?"

Meredith gave him the name of the hotel, along with her room number and hung up.

Sighing, Derek turned on the radio to hear one of his favorite songs. Satisfied, he drove out of the parking lot to go see Meredith.

* * *

By the time Derek arrived, Meredith had gotten Elizabeth ready for bed. "Hi."She said, letting him in the room. 

"Hey. So uh, you checked into a hotel room?...You know you could have stayed with me."

"In the trailer?...Aren't you ever going to build something on the land?"

He shrugged, looking at the little girl on the couch. "I've thought about it. I just never had anyone to build anything for."

Meredith sighed, walking to Elizabeth. "I really do need to get her to bed. Can you say good-night to your dad?"

Derek smiled, seeing his little girl. "So will she be sleeping in your bed? You don't have the crib here."

"I know. I uh...I figured so, yes. It's no big deal, really. Derek.."She said, sighing.

"Oh, I wasn't-I wasn't arguing. I mean, she's your daughter, you know. But I..."Derek stopped, rubbing his hands in his hair. "Anyway, I'll wait out here."He said, sitting in a chair.

Meredith laid down on the bed next to Elizabeth, kissing her on the forehead. "Night, sweetie. Mommy's gonna be back in soon,okay?" And with a reassuring check, she headed back out of the room.

When she arrived back in the living room, Derek was flipping through a magazine he had found on the table. "So..when are you planning on letting me have that promised time with my daughter?"

"What's gotten into you? We've been talking lately and all of a sudden you're brooding and mad and...?"Meredith stopped, clearly irritated.

Derek shrugged, standing up. "I don't know. I want the chance to know you again. I wanna know our daughter..before she learns to hate me."

"Why would she hate you?"

"Meredith..I just-I thought today. About everything. Where my life is headed. I need to know if I should start including you in these things."Derek said, trying to be honest.

Meredith's mouth hung open, unsure of how to answer. She shook her head letting out an exhausted sigh. "Derek...I already told you. You're more than welcome to see Elizabeth. To visit us in California...I'll come back and forth to Washington, too. I just..."She stopped, running her hands through her hair. "I don't know what to tell you. I mean, I don't see why you're suddenly overcome with this need to...to question things."

He knew she was right. Part of him knew that he was guilty, but the other part of him was wondering what it would have been like, what their life would have been like had she stayed in Seattle in the first place.

"So..what do we do?"

She laughed, shrugging. "I don't know, Derek...I just..don't."

Neither of them knew what was supposed to happen next. Meredith of course didn't mention the fact that earlier that day she had called the Chief at L.A. General, letting him know that she would be out of town for atleast a day more. Derek didn't mention the fact that he'd spoken with Addison, or Bailey for that matter. But it was where they were, both silently making a vow that whatever was happening would not go unfinished.


	10. Have A Little Faith in Me

**Author's Note: Hey, so yeah...hope you guys enjoy this update. Sorry it took awhile. Oh, and if you wanna review ya know, that'd be great... All reviews are welcomed, and if you have any ideas, let me know. Thanks for Reading!

* * *

**

The next day came quickly, and Meredith woke up, staring at her daughter still sleeping. She watched the smooth rise and fall of her stomach, and the way her face looked so peaceful. She thought back to all teh nights when she had nothing to do but lie awake wondering what their daughter would look like. Meredith would take the ultrasound pictures and stare at them intently. Of course, all you can really tell from them is whether or not the baby is healthy, and if it's a boy or girl-but still.

Softly, Meredith pressed a kiss onto her forehead, smiling. The quiet tranquility was broken by the phone ringing. Grumbling, Meredith turned over and grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Mer. Glad you're up."

"Cristina?"She said, forcing herself into a sitting position. "Is something wrong with Izzie?"

"No, No...she woke up during the night, I guess Shepherd's in performing tests now...anyway, I just-I have off today."Cristina said, seemkingly in a rush.

"Okay."Meredith replied. "And you wanna...what?"

Crisitina sighed, clearing her throat. "I dunno, Meredith...you know i'm never good with the whole emotional thing. But...well, I just thought that maybe we could ya know, go hang out or something. I would say take a look at dresses, but I seriously don't think Izzie would like me if I did."

Meredith laughed, shaking her head. "I'd have to bring Elizabeth with...so no early trips to Joe's."

"Of course. But seriously, you're gonna have to pawn her off on Derek one night after Izzie gets out. Anyway..."

"Where are we gonna go?"She asked.

The line was silent for a moment, Cristina contemplating. "Just-pick me up, okay?"

"And you're at the hospital? I thought you...oh, of course. Um...okay. I...will be there."

* * *

Derek smiled, entering Izzie's room. "Good morning, Doctor Stevens. It's a pleasure to have you with us."

Izzie forced a smile, looking around the room. "Was Meredith here?"

"Yeah. Why?"

She closed her eyes, sighing. "No reason. I just...remember something."

Derek nodded, shining a light into her face. "It's perfectly understandable. I'm sure she'll be back later. Are you comfortable?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I-I'm in pain."Izzie said, knowing she couldn't lie.

Derek frowned. "I'll have them up your meds. I could call Alex or George...someone to sit with you."

"That's fine."She said, her voice scratchy. "I'm sure they have better things to do. I'm-"She stopped, clinching his hand. "Ow...Okay, that hurt?"

"What's wrong?"He asked, suddenly worried with her reaction.

"Just...a pinch is all. Like, a twinge. I'm okay. It's Mer you have to worry about."

"What?"Derek asked, frowning. "I'm going to tell the nurse to up your pain meds."

"You know what?...Nevermind. You have sicker patients to tend to."

"That's true. If all goes well-you may be moved today."Derek said, smiling as he left the room.

* * *

Meredith took a sip from her coffee and set it back on the table. "So the ring...it's gorgeous."

"Mmm...yeah."Cristina said, taking a bite from a cinnamon bun. "So, Mer...life?"

"Life."Meredith replied, gazing at Elizabeth who was content in sitting in a high chair, playing with a stuffed rabbit. "Life is good."

"So you just happen to show up here after two years? Look, I'm...I'm sorry. I wanted to aploigize for the way I acted the other day in the waiting room. It's just...I was supposed to be your person, and you didn't even let me know."Cristina confided.

Nodding, Meredith closed her eyes. "I know. I know that what I did hurts people, but you have to understand why I did it. At the time, Derek was still with Addison. Had I stayed, had I chosen to have Elizabeth in Seattle...everything would have fallen apart. I probably could have been blacklisted from his surgeries, not to say being kickd out of the program."

"Oh, so heading to Los Angeles was the only option, right?"

"Cristina, please. I'm trying to explain."Meredith pleaded.

Cristina nodded, sighing. "Yeah. Sorry."

"I just-I couldn't stay. The Los Angeles program..it's good. I finshed my intern year there, and I'm still undergoing things, picking up for time lost but...Life's good there."

There was a pause, Cristina tracing the top of her cup with her finger. "So...you're planning on going back? Even after everything here?"

"The hospital needs me. I can stay until Izzie gets out, I'll come back for the wedding."

"And you think Derek's just gonna let you take his daughter-no questions asked?"Cristina asked, watching the look on her face change.

Meredith's eyes grew sad at the mere mention of his name. Elizabeth began to fuss at her side. Turning her attention to her daughter, she picked up the stuffed rabbit and handed it back to her. "No. I don't. I know..."

The mood was broken by her phone ringing. Sifting through her bag, she found it. "Hello?...Oh, um..sure. With

Cristina. And-Yes, she's right here. Um...Of course. We'll be there."

"Is something wrong?"

"They're moving Izzie to her room. Everything's gonna be fine."Meredith said, feeling a smile grow.

* * *

A little while later, Izzie was settled and asleep, Cristina sat next to her and Meredith stood with Derek at the door.

"So I was thinking...dinner. Me, you...Elizabeth?"

Meredith raised an eyebrow. "A date?"

"Well, if you want it to be."

"Derek-"

"I'm just saying. Whatever you want. I can wait."

She nodded, licking her lips. "I just think that we both know how it'll end. Me going back to California, and you here buried in your job."

He was silent, brooding. Gesturing towards the hall, he led her out.

"Derek?"Meredith said, trying to read him. He wasn't mad, he wasn't sad. He was-She wasn't sure.

"I want to see my daughter. I want to see you. Why is that so hard to understand?"

"It's not. I just...I need time."

Derek nodded, staring into her eyes. He saw it. The look that he used to see. But it was sadder, it was more distant. "Then I'll wait. But I'm not giving up, Mer. I can't."


	11. Tears,Rain, and a Reason to Stay

**Author's Note: So reviews have kind of been ho-hum lately...but that should not in any way be taken as an insult, because it woke me up. It, like the show, needs more MerDer. So here you go. I hope that you like, and whether you do or not, leave me a PM or review, telling me what you do or don't want to see. It means alot to me-Thanks!**

* * *

Sitting in the hospital waiting room, Meredith silently cursed herself for what she was doing. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, infact she did trust him. But the fact that Derek would be alone with Elizabeth for atleast the next few hours was something that Meredith was not entirely comfortable with.

"Hey."Alex said, walking in. "You here to see Iz?"

Meredith lifted her head, nodding tiredly. "Yeah. You're working?"

"I have to. I guess they're doing rounds on her now."He replied, sitting a few seats away.

"So where's your kid?"

She tried her best to laugh, shaking her head. "She's with her father. And I'm okay with it."

Alex was silent for a moment, rubbing the knee of his scrubs. Chewing his overly minty gum, he nodded. "You don't look too okay with it."

"I have to be. Derek is her father, and he deserves time with her."Meredith said, checking the time."

"But you keep checking the time...you're afraid something's gonna happen."

"Alex..."

"Hey, I'm just saying-"Alex replied, holding his hands in the air. "Anyway, I should get going. Interns..."

Meredith laughed. "You realize that you were one once, too, right?"

He stood in the doorway, trying his best to appear innocent. "Yeah, but I was one of the best. These guys are...small and whiny. About everything."

"So you're in plastics? Because last I remember-"

"Hey...Mer? Things change." And with that, he left.

* * *

Several hours passed in which Meredith spoke with Izzie, mostly to keep her company. She'd gotten caught up on some of the hospital gossip and seemed surprised how judging Izzie had become about things. They had barely approached anything that was going on with her. And for that, Meredith was grateful.

Climbing into her car, Meredith shook the rain from her hair. It was one thing that she wouldn't miss when she went back. Turning on the car, Meredith listened blindly to the song on the radio, slowly finding her way back to Derek's trailer. It occured to her that he still hadn't built anything on the land, but didn't want to risk the conversation of why.

She arrived shortly and tried her best to look composed. Knocking on the door, Meredith was met with a number of memories as she waited for Derek to answer.

"Hey."He said, smiling.

"Can I come in?"Meredith asked, hopeful.

"Yeah."Derek replied, stepping out of the way. "I put Elizabeth down for a nap a little while ago...she should be up soon."

"Okay."She answered, settling on the couch. Staring around, she didn't see surprised in the fact that nothing much had really changed.

"I can go and wake her if you want."

"No, I can wait."Meredith said, watching Derek enter the kitchen.

He opened the refrigerator, contemplating. "So we had fun today...I took her shopping. Bought her a few things. I figured that fly fishing was out of the question..."

Meredith laughed, but otherwise offered no reply.

"She's alot like you, you know. Very tiny, but she's definate in her opinions..."

"Yeah, she's got her opinions..."

"Can I get you anything?"Derek asked, bottle of water in hand. After she didn't answer, Derek cleared his throat, sighing. "Meredith?"

"Hmm?"She said, turning her head quickly. Their eyes met for a brief moment, both finding the time to smile. She was brought back to the years beforehand, when they were allowed to do that sort of thing. Feeling for the zipper on her Pink-colored hoodie, Meredith carefully took it off.

"Can I get you anything?"Derek repeated.

"Uh, no. Thanks."

"Right."He said, pulling a chair closer to her.

"Why haven't you built?"

Derek stared at her quizzically, almost as if she had something on her face.

"I know that I've asked you the same question before, and I know that you've answered. But really, Derek...you had every oppurtunity. Why haven't you?"

His blue eyes faded, taking on a tone of sadness. "Things changed, Mer."

Meredith avoided his gaze, knowing that it was the second time she'd heard that phrase that day. "How?"

"After you left...so many thing changed at Seattle Grace. I wanted to follow you, but Chief had us under observation, I knew that I had a chance, and so I chose to stay."Derek replied, voice calm. "I buried myself in my work. I tried new procedures, I had girlfriends...but never really had time for them."

Silence filtered into the room, neither knowing what to say. He would stare at her every now and then, wanting so much to ask the question that was nagging at him on the inside. It was crazy. It was stupid, really. He shouldn't still love her. It had been two years. Two long, exhausting years. Two years in which she was growing, giving birth to, and rasing the child that in all liklihood, he shouldn't have never known he had.

"Meredith-"Derek said, darting his toungue out to moisten his lips.

"Yeah?"

"Izzie's getting better. She should be leaving the hospital in a couple of days. You'll leave. I guess we..I guess we should talk about arrangements."

"Arrangements?"Meredith asked, the word tasting foreign in her mouth.

"When Elizabeth will be able to see me. You're not asking for child support, and I'm not going to fight you as fr s custody issues go. But Meredith? I wanna see my daughter."

Closing her eyes, Meredith felt a tear escape. "I know."

"You know?"

"I'll find time."

Derek snorted, setting his water bottle on the coffee table. "You'll find time? Which means never, right?"

"No, Derek, it doesn't. It means that I have to find the time. I'm not gonna send her alone, Derek. She's a baby. Either you come to see us, Or I'll fly or drive...whatever...to see you guys. That's how it has to fly."

"Fine."

She was silent for a minute, biting her lip. "You could keep her tonight...I stop by in the morning to pick her up."

"You're serious?"Derek asked, nervous.

"I'll have to go back to the hotel...or to the store to get you some supplies, but most of the stuff is in her bag. You'll need diapers, and some food...but you have clothes."

Derek swallowed, clearly pleased. "Thank You."

"You need to know her."

"Right."

"So you...you're going back to the hotel?"Derek asked. "I mean, I could take her with me to the store, Mer. I can figure out what sort of things Elizabeth needs. Just give me a list."

Meredith smiled at Derek's eagerness. "Calm down...this is just one night, okay? I'll have to stop by tomorrow early though because you have work."

"Yeah, I know. But please, Mer...let me have this..."

"It's a test run. And I'm calling you. Several times."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."Derek assured.

Meredith stood, seemingly asking for permission. She walked into the bedroom staring at the sleeping childing laying on the bed. "Hey, Lizzie..."She said, kissing her. "Come on babygirl, can you wake up for mommy? She's letting you stay with your father tonight...if you want. But if you wake up now...if you let mommy say goodbye...she'll know. She'll know it's okay."Meredith said, feeling tears escape. "I love you so much. Saying night this early seems kind of silly...but you enjoyed your day with daddy, huh? And hey...he makes good breakfast."

Elizabeth stirred, opening her eyes.

Meredith smiled, stroking the girl's cheek. "Hey there, Elizabeth. And how are we doing today?"

She smiled, giggling a little.

It was a sound that made Meredith's heart melt-and reminded her even more of reasons why she shouldn't leave. But Derek needed time. He needed to get used to her. She loved him. He gave her Elizabeth, was there any other reason?

Derek stood in the doorway, smiling at the sight. "So um, the storm's letting up...it should be easier to drive now."

She turned to face him, smiling sadly. "Take care of her."

"I will."Derek said, brushing her elbow. "I will, Meredith."

"Yeah. And uh, you have the carseat...so um...I guess I should get some of the extras-diapers and things from my car."Meredith said, brushing past him.

She rushed out, quickly grabbed the things from the car. She was walking back in but saw Derek standing expectedly in the living room.

"So I was thinking..."Derek said, taking the things from her. "Why don't you stay?"

"Derek, please..we had this conversation-"

"No, I meant..."

"No, you didn't. Maybe this time. But next time it won't be. So just stop, okay? Stop trying to be nice to me when it's obvious that you don't want to be. You wanna know the truth? Leaving Elizabeth here scares the heck out of me. But I am. Because you want me to. Because you areher father and you deserve the chance to know her. But that's it...that's as far as this thing goes. I spoke with the hospital in Los Angeles. I have two days, and then I'm going back."

Derek nodded, surprised at her sense of finality.

"But you want me to stay."Meredith said, struggling with her words. She wiped her brow, raindrops slowly flitering through. She shivered in the air-conditioned trailer as her jacket lay forgotten on the couch. "If you really want me to say as much as you're acting like you do...give me a reason to. I can't stay without a reason, Derek. If you...if you really want me to stay, give me one."

It was the only thing Derek could think to do. He wanted so much to convince her, to _show_ her that what they had hadn't gone away-that it was still there. So Derek kissed Meredith. Slowly at first, but then it progressed further, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

But soon the sound of Elizabeth fussing brought him back to reality. Pulling back from Meredith, he brushed her clammy cheek, burning holes in her eyes with his. Licking his lips, he grabbed a diaper from her shaking hands. Staring back into her eyes, Derek nodded. "There's your reason."

With that, Derek headed back to tend to Elizabeth.


	12. I Keep Coming Back

**Author's Note: Okay, so yeah, I hope it doesn't feel like this story has been dragging. It does pick up some here, because I know the whole "Will Mer stay" thing has been getting old. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. There are a few scenes in here that I have wanted to bring in since the beginning. That, and the fact that I managed to actually sit down and write this chapter out...on paper. A lot of interesting things happen or start to in this chapter...which is why I like it. (If you haven't noticed, I'm critical of my own work). Oh, and like I said a few chapters back, I'm bringing the letters/notes back...Read and Review, please!**

* * *

Meredith stood numb, never moving from the spot where she stood. Her fingers moved up to her mouth, tracing her lips. Derek kissed her. And it wasn't just an ordinary kiss. It was one that meant something, that had feeling behind it. 

The sound of giggling was heard before Derek reappeared with Elizabeth in his arms. "If you're expecting me to apoligize...I can't."

"I know."She said, not looking at him.

"Meredith?"Derek said, walking closer to her. "All I'm asking you to do is think about it."

"You're pressuring me to stay."

"Because I love you."

"Even after everything I've done? After everything I've said to you? Derek, you aren't making this any easier."Meredith admitted.

Derek nodded, knowing that he was getting to her. "Right. Mer? I never stopped. I know how pathetic that sounds. But I can't apoligize. And I can't let you leave not knowing the whole story."

"You mean to tell me that this whole time you've never really moved on? That you've what-been pining after me for two years? You realize how bad that sounds, right?"Meredith asked, watching Elizabeth stare up into Derek's eyes. They had already grown attached, she could tell.

"I tried, Meredith. It wasn't easy."Derek admitted.

Meredith sighed, shaking her head. "So You think it was for me? I had to finish my internship known as the one who got knocked up. For a few months afterward people were afraid to even come near me. And when they did...I smelled like baby food and powder. I didn't exactly have it easy, Derek. I'm sorry if you see it that way."

Derek nodded, shifting Elizabeth. "Do you really want this? Do you really want to go back to Los Angeles?"

"I don't know, Derek. I just know that right now the fact that I'm here in the first place should say something."

"What should it say? That you're stubborn? That you can't manage to make up your mind even after all this time?"Derek asked, his eyes shining.

"I'm not gonna argue with you in front of her, Derek. So please...can we just call it a night?"

Derek laughed, shaking his head. "You do have a habit for leaving things unfinished, don't you?"

"Izzie will be in the hospital for the next few days. I'll be here that time, so we have a few days to sort things out."

"Meredith."Derek said, his voice stopping her. His eyes darted back and forth between mother and daughter. He didn't understand why he had been kept from her, but he now understood that Meredith was now more dedicated than she had ever been. "Can you...I mean, I'm not saying that you have to but-Just stay here? For tonight? It'll give Elizabeth the chance to get used to the place, and you'd feel more comfortable. I'll sleep on the couch."

"You don't have to."

"Meredith?"

Things weren't the same. Meredith knew that. But seeing the look in Derek's eyes, seeing how much he wanted to make things right, Meredith couldn't refuse. "Fine. But we're not making a habit out of this."

"Of course."Derek said, grinning after she had turned around. The wheel was turning, now all he had to do was push it. The trick was, Derek had to be careful to not push it too far.

* * *

Meredith awoke the next morning, a smile evident on her face. The sunlight strewn its way across the room, and for a moment, she let the memories of waking up where she was surround her. But only for a moment. She looked over at Elizabeth, who had just started to squirm. "Hey there, bug. Morning."She whispered. 

Elizabeth stayed asleep for a few more minutes, Meredith lost in holding her hand and staring at her. She felt a guilt-an ache almost, at the fact that Derek had missed so much of her life, and that she was the cause of it. Pushing the thoughts away, Meredith smiled as Elizabeth began to wake up. "Hey there, sweetie. Elizabeth..."She said, her fingers combing through Elizabeth's black hair. It wasn't until then, but she realized how much Elizabeth really did look like her father. But it was the blue eyes that continued to haunt her.

Meredith quietly picked her up, deciding to get something to eat. "You know, Elizabeth...you can walk. I've seen you do it. A little. Yeah, you fall..._but_ your dad isn't gonna believe me without seeing it himself."

She simply giggled, watching Meredith move into the kitchen.

Upon walking into the kitchen, Meredith spotted a note written in Derek's scrawl on the counter.

_Mer-_

_Morning. So, I don't know how long you guys plan to stay. You can stay as long as you want, but if you get hungry, there's some eggs in the fridge. I set up the coffee pot...you know where the mugs are. There should be some juice for Elizabeth in the fridge, too-but if not, I left some money on top of the dresser. You still look like an angel when you sleep. I'll try and call when I can. _

_Love, Derek_

Setting the note back down, Meredith smile at the aroma of the coffee currently greeting her. She trudged over to the fridge, opening it. She pulled out the eggs, placing them on the counter. "Hmm-how are we gonna do this?"She asked, looking at Elizabeth. Grabbing a sippy-like cup for Elizabeth, she poured her some juice, setting her on the counter for a brief second. "See..."Meredith said. "Dad's house isn't that bad, huh?"

* * *

Derek sighed, rounding the counter. He was on his way to a meeting with the family of one of the patients after discussing news with said patient, and seemed shocked when he ran into Addison. "Hi." 

"Hi."She said, fiddling with the files in her arms.

"So...is there something you wanted to speak about?"Derek asked.

"Right."Addison said, smiling. "Um-I have a case. I need a consult, and you're the best...so..."

"What's wrong?"Derek asked, concerned.

Addison nodded. "My patient has been experiencing sever headaches, almost to the point of being excrutiating...She says sometimes her vision blurs as well. I know that there are side effects to medicines, as well as the side effects to something such as a pregnancy. But the thing is, she had her baby several days ago. So, anyway, I was just...I was hoping that you could schedule a consult with her sometime within the near future."

Derek shifted his weight, thankful that the matter wasn't personal. "Sure. I have a meeting with a family at the moment, but I'll get back to you today."

"Thank you, Derek."

"Anything else?"He asked.

"Mark and I-we're...we're having a dinner for some friends in a week or two. For his birthday. You and Meredith could come if you wanted."

"Meredith and I aren't-"

"Oh."Addison replied, blushing a little. "I just, I assumed-"

"Oh, no, it's okay. I understand. Okay, so uh...I'll catch you later?"

She nodded, stepping around him. "Rachel Henry."

"What's that?"He asked, turning to face her.

"The patient. Her name is Rachel Henry."

* * *

"Just get those labs...soon. I shouldn't be down here begging for this, people."Miranda complained, turning to seeing Burke. "Chief Burke...and how are you?" 

"Just fine, Doctor Bailey. The lab is backed up today, I see?"

"Yes. But that's nothing new. So-"She said, catching up with him. "Have you heard from Meredith?"

"Meredith Grey?"

"Well, yeah-she hasn't spoken with you?"Miranda asked, curious.

"No. I had heard she was back, but I haven't had the oppurtunity to speah with her. I wasn't aware that she was seeking the oppurtunity to come back to Seattle Grace."Chief Burfke replied.

She nodded, catching something in the hallway. "Uh-huh. I'll have to catch you later, Chief."She said, walking further down the hallway. "Izzie Stevens...what are you doing out of bed?"

Izzie clutched her I.V. pole, trying to stand still. "I'm fine. I needed to get up. I can't sit still in that bed."

"Did it ever occur to you that you could have called a nurse-or maybe waited until someone comes to bring you your meds? Come on, get back in there."

"Doctor Bailey. With all due respect...I can't. It's-It's horrible. There's no window. It's stuffy and...I really have to pee."Izzie complained.

"Yeah? And there's a bathroom in your room. If you wanted air, you could have asked for a wheelchair. Izzie, I can't have you breaking any stitches."

Izzie sighed, staring down at the linoleum. "Fine. Have you seen Alex?"

"No. I think he's in the O.R., though. Anyway, back...now."Miranda said, helping Izzie get back in bed.

"Fine. But they rounded on me. They rounded on me, and the intern who presented...he didn't-I mean, he messed up. Seriously. And I just...Doctor Bailey..."

"I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. It."She pronounced, pulling the sheet over her. "Now. You are going to lay down...and you are going to sleep. If you choose not to sleep-"She said, turning on the TV. "Watch something. General Hospital, Full House reruns..whatever. And Stevens? It's okay to feel antsy. But you gotta give yourself time to heal."

* * *

Meredith stayed at the trailer for the remainder of the morning, but figured she should at least try and get things organized at the hotel. She was sitting there, looking at old pictures, thinking of how much things had changed with it clicked. It was something undefinable, something that probably should have been ignored, but by her couldn't be. Meredith reached for her cell phone, dialing a number that, for some reason, had managed to linger in her mind.

The rest of the afternoon, Meredith prepared herself. It was stupid. It should make sense. She was going over in her mind the conersation she would be having, with the man she would be having it with. She fed Elizabeth lunch and watched as her daughter proudly stuffed chunks of banana into her mouth afterward.

Staring at the door, she waited for permission to walk in. Shaking hands with the man behind the desk, Meredith sighed.

"Please, Doctor Grey...sit down."Burke insisted.

"Thank you Doctor...Chief..Burke."Meredith corrected.

"It's fine. So, I understand you have a little one now. Where is she?"

"In the daycare. For..for a little while. Listen-I just...I know how awkward and time consuming it is to do something like this. But I want to. And I'm ready."Meredith said, staring into his eyes. She wanted Burke to know that she was confident, that she felt it was the right decision. "But the ultimate decision is yours as chief. Congratulations, by the way. I know it's been a while, but-"

"I understand. Thank you."Burke said, studying her. "So, what you're asking is..."

"I want to come back. I _need_ to come back. Elizabeth...my daughter-and me. I feel that it's time. But of course, if you're over-staffed...or if you have no interest..."Meredith stopped, taking a breath. "Then i'll understand."

Burke nodded, forming his words carefully. "So you want to come back? Are you sure, Doctor Grey? You aren't entering this under pressure from your peers, I presume?"

"They've said things. It's just...my mother was here. It was where she died...it was where I spent my internship. Sometimes...things keep coming back."

He nodded in understanding, extending his hand to hers. "It's settled then. I have to admit, I was a little jealous in the first place...L.A. Genereal stealing one of the finest doctors in our field."

Meredith smiled, shaking his hand. 'Thank you, sir. I-I want this. I do."

"Of course. Now, you do understand that there's a process you go through, correct? It could take a while."

"I understand. It'll give me time. Bring my stuff back up...get reaquainted."

Burke laughed, standing. "I understand, Doctor Grey. I'll be in touch with L.A. General tomorrow. You could be back at Seattle Grace within the week."

* * *

Meredith leaned back against the cool of the elevator, she stared at the ceiling, hearing the doors open. "Ah...Doctor Grey."She heard Addison say.

"Doctor Montgomery."

"Actually-"She said, smiling. "Well, technically, it's Sloan. But...we never really got around to the whole name change. At the hospital, anyway."

"Right."Meredith said.

"So...do you plan on coming back?"Addison asked, genuinely curious.

"I hope to. Maybe. Maybe...not. But it's Seattle..."Meredith replied, hearing the doors open. "Noone plans on liking it in the beginning."

* * *

Avoiding Derek seemed hard to believe, and running in with Addison was less awkward the second time around. She settled Elizabeth in and turned the car on. Staring at her phone, she saw that she had a missed message. Dialing the number, she decided to check it.

"Mer..hey, it's me, Scott. Listen- haven't heard from you. Mrs.Mays from across the street caught someone tryin' to get into the house...had to call me. Anyway, you're supposed to be back by now. But...you're friend is sick...I understand. Well hey, I'm gonna let you go. The plane's leaving soon. I'll uh...I'll see you soon."

Meredith hung up the phone, feeling her stomach dip. She put the phone back, closing her eyes. The happiness she had been feeling slowly started to fade. She was determined though that, this time, the fading wouldn't last.


	13. Back Home

**Author's Note: Grey's Anatomy. Yeah, it's seriously an obsession...an addiction. I hope that you guys like this chapter, because I've had it in my head for a while. We'll get to the root of some things, and figure out a little backstory, too. Yeah, I know I didn't really give you hints as to the whole MaDdison being married thing...that'll be discussed, too. In any case, you know the drill...**

**Enjoy!**

**

* * *

**

The next day, Derek walked out of Rachel Henry's room, finding Mark standing, staring at the surgical board. "You're due in OR 3 in a little while."He stated simply.

"Yeah."Mark said, shifting. "So I heard the news."

Derek frowned, confused. "What would that be?"

Mark laughed, amused. "You and Grey. Well, Grey at least. Tell the dirty mistress it's good to have her back from me, will you? I've got surgery in twenty minutes...gotta go scrub in."

Confused, Derek watched as Mark was walking away. Something was going on, and Derek hated not knowing what it was.

* * *

"What do you think of those people? Are they nice, Elizabeth?"Meredith asked, buckling her in. She smiled, handing her a sippy cup of juice. "I know that it's not exactly close to me. But I'll drop you off every day, and I'll come right back to pick you up. Sound good?"

Elizabeth simply drank from her cup, seemingly content.

Meredith smiled, going over to the driver's seat. She'd head back to the hotel, and then hopefully have a meeting with the Chief later on. Burke had called her, saying that he'd faxed the information to the Chief of L.A. General, and that he'd discussed the information with him.

Pulling out onto the highway, Meredith stared back at her daughter in the backseat. She thought back to the message she'd gotten from Scott. In a way she felt guilty for staying, but she knew it was the thing she needed to do. Meredith knew that she'd have to go back to her house to get everything, and eventually she'd have to buy a house, or an apartment at least. Smiling, she felt better. This time around, she'd have Derek's help.

* * *

When she got to the hotel, Meredith realized how close it was to lunch time. Originally, she had planned to visit Izzie during that time, but when Izzie had called to say that she needed time with Alex, Meredith understood.

"You ready for lunch, sweetie?...How about we go get cleaned up, and then I'll take you someplace-just the two of us?"

They walked into the hotel lobby, waving at the doorman. "Meredith."

She turned her head, staring at the man. Instantly, she cringed. "Scott...what are you doing here?"

"I thought you were here for a few days...it's been-"

"A few days. Scott, it's gotten a little more complicated. You aren't a surgeon, you wouldn't-"

"Mer..."Scott said, walking towards them. "Theresa and me-we're...we're concerned is all. Your friend...how is she?"

Meredith nodded, taking a breath. "She's doing better. Izzie's still got a lot of healing to do, but they think she could be released in a few days."

"So, when do you plan on coming back?"Scott asked, expectant.

Her eyes dropped to the ground, carefully carrying hers and Elizabeth's bags. "I'll be back to pick up my things in a few days. After it's comfirmed, I'll be back here working at Seattle Grace."

"Seattle Gra-Does this have anything to do with that Derek guy?"

"Derek is Elizabeth's father, okay? I'm just trying to do what is best for everybody here."Meredith hissed, watching as eyes stared at them.

Scott nodded, staring at Elizabeth. "You know I was there for you when he wasn't, right? I've heard the stories from you. When you first moved in...you were broken. You told me how much he hurt you, how much crap he put you through. A couple of days back in Seattle and all of a sudden you're okay with everything?"

"You think this has been easy for me? Scott, I can't-I can't do this, okay? I can't have you judging me. I did what I think...what I know is best. And for the record, I hurt Derek, too. I'm still making up for it."

He sighed, shaking his head. "So you're happy?"

Meredith looked at Elizabeth, then back at him. "Yeah. I am. I'll come to visit sometimes. But-"Meredith stopped, taking a deep breath. "Seattle is my home. It was where my mother died...it was where I interned. It's where I intend to raise my daughter. Please understand where I'm coming from here."

"Yeah. I guess. Just stay safe, Mer."He said, patting her shoulder.

"Meredith?"Derek said, walking in the door. He stared at the man with them, recognizing him as Meredith's friend from California.

"I should go. Call me when you need help moving things."Scott said, walking away.

Silence flitered into the room, Meredith unsure of how to approach the subject with Derek.

"I guess Mark was right."Derek muttered, taking Elizabeth in his arms. He was still wearing scrub pants, but he had thrown a sweatshirt on over his shirt, and wore a lightweight blue jacket.

"What?"

"He told me he heard you were coming back...coming from him I didn't think it was that credible, despite everything. But then some guy that I barely even know mentions it. You're staying, aren't you?"Derek asked, his dark blue eyes piercing hers.

Meredith nodded, swallowing a lump in her throat. "I just talked to Chief Burke yesterday. I have a meeting this afternoon to formally do everything."

Derek nodded, sighing. "Do you wanna go out to lunch? We can use my car...I had some time-I'm still on call but I thought it was something."

"Derek, please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. I just wish you would have told me."Derek said simply. "Are you hungry?"He asked Elizabeth.

She smiled, her fingers waving in the air. "I guh..."

He laughed, amused. "She speaks?"

"Sort of...not much of it makes sense yet, but-"

"Yeah."Derek said, hypnotized. Maybe he wouldn't be missing all of the firsts, afterall.

* * *

They had lunch when Meredith explained the daycare she'd be sending Elizabeth to. Derek talked about the surgery he had earlier in the day, and about how Izzie was doing.

"Do you think I could stop by and see this place?-The daycare?"Derek asked, placing a tip on the table.

"Of course. Tomorrow, I guess."

"Tomorrow."Derek muttered, his pager going off. "Wow...um...When's your meeting with Burke?"

"In about an hour...but I can visit Izzie, I guess. Why?"

"I'm being paged. I probably won't have time to take you back to the hotel. I could give you money, but-"

"Derek. It's okay. Just take us to the hospital."Meredith said, smiling.

* * *

"So you and Alex-"

"Mer, everything's going good. He just wanted time alone with me. Hope it's okay?"Izzie said.

"Of course."

"She looks a lot like you."Izzie said, looking at Elizabeth. "And Derek."

Meredith nodded, smiling. "She does, doesn't she? Listen, I should probably tell you before anyone else gets out...I'm moving back. I'm-I have a meeting with Buke later on today to..officially welcome me back to Seattle Grace."

"Oh. Congratulations, Doctor Grey."Addison said, walking into the room. "I'm sorry. I can come back-"

"No, it's okay. I can leave or-"

"Actually...Meredith...I'd like to-to speak to you. After I'm done here. If that's okay."Addison said, pointing to the doorway.

Meredith smiled, hugging Izzie. "I'll stop by later, okay?" With that, Meredith and Elizabeth headed out to the hall.

"I wasn't trying to push you out."Addison said, after she was done in Izzie's room.

"It's fine. I should probably be headed to Chief Burke's office, anyway."Meredith said, smiling.

"That still sounds so wierd to say, doesn't it?"Addison asked, amused.

"I guess."Meredith replied. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Oh. Right."Addison said, shifting her weight. "Mark and I...we're having a party next thursday. It's for his birthday, and I know that you two had a little of a friendship. So I was wondering...do you want to come? If it's awkward or something...you can bring Elizabeth if you want."

Meredith stared at the woman, a woman who once she had loathed so much. But now, something seemed similar in them. She saw something in Addison that made her want to go. While she doubted that they would ever be friends, Meredith hoped that now that they could come to some sort of understanding. "Of course."She said. "I can come."

Addison's name came over the speaker as she was needed at the nurses' station. She smiled, hands in her lab coat. "Duty calls."She said, eyes softening. "I'll see you later, Meredith."


	14. Family

**Author's Note: I love Grey's. I've said that, right? Anyway, we have to wait for two whole weeks for a new episode, and I have really been meaning to put this chapter up for a while now. Mer is okay is "reality"...Anyway, we know Mer's coming back to SGH, and I'm not gonna do the whole everyone reacting thing, because it should be past it already. There are so many people. Anyway, read and review Please!**

* * *

Meredith sat on the cool tile of the bathroom floor, studying Izzie as she brushed her teeth. Izzie had been released a day before, but had been instructed to take the rest of the week off to recuperate. Meredith's transfer had been made official, and so far things were moving smoothly. She had yet to go back to California to gather her things, and in truth she was dreading it. At the moment, Elizabeth was sleeping soundly in Meredith's old room-where she had been staying. At the time, she thought it was too soon to move in with Derek.

"Mer?"Izzie asked, spitting her toothpaste out. "Okay, first of all, you don't have to keep an eye on me twenty four hours a day. I'm not gonna suddenly collapse. I feel fine."

Sighing, Meredith ran her fingers through her hair, slowly gathering the energy to stand. "I know. What's the second thing?"

"You're hiding."

"Hiding? From what?"Meredith asked, ignoring the fact that she knew Derek was waiting downstairs.

"Derek's downstairs. Probably having a very awkward conversation with Alex."Izzie said, rinsing her toothbrush. Turning towards Meredith, she pulled her into a hug. "Everything will be okay. I promise."

"I know. Derek wants to go with me to drop off Elizabeth at the daycare today. I know I shouldn't feel guilty, because he's her father. Plus, I'm back at the hospital. I've been back for a few days now...but she's just getting used to things changing."

Izzie smiled, the cut on her forehead exposed by her hair parting ways. "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to be back. But seriously Iz, promise me that you won't do anything crazy like baking today? You need to rest."Meredith said, hearing Derek in the hallway. "Elizabeth must have woken up."

* * *

Derek turned the ignition on, sighing. Looking over at Meredith, he smiled sadly. "She likes in here, Mer. It'll be fine."

"I know. But I feel guilty for leaving her alone."

Shaking his head, Derek's hands gripped the wheel. He ignored the thing he wanted to say then-that that wasn't the thing Meredith should be feeling guilty for. Turning down the radio, he cleared his throat. "So how do you like working at the hospital again?"He asked, hoping for some form of conversation.

Tracing the rain drops as they slowly slid down the window, Meredith glanced over at him. "It's been great."She said, licking her lips. "Derek...Addison...asked me to Mark's birthday party...get together thing."

"So?"

"So? _Addison_ asked me, Derek."Meredith said as they stopped for the light. She felt like it meant something, like it was more than just because she was there. It wasn't an olive branch by any means as they still had a tension between them, but for the most part since Meredith had returned all evidence of their feuding had disappeared. "Are you going?"

"Maybe."He replied as they pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Staring at the building, Derek turned off the engine, but didn't open the door. "I don't have anyone to go with. And I'm sure Mark would have something to say about that."

Nodding, Meredith remained calm. "Oh."

"Yeah."Derek said, staring over at her. "So-we should go in."

"Right."Meredith said, grabbing her jacket. Heading towards the door, she spotted Cristina talking to Burke. "So...everything good?"

"I guess. Couldn't sleep last night. You came with McDreamy? I knew you were back, I just didn't things would happen that fast..."

"Cristina-"Meredith hissed. "Nothing is 'happening'. We had to drop off Elizabeth at the daycare. He offered to drive me to work."

"What, are you in highschool? The guy's over there with Burke making goo-goo eyes at you. The guy is in love, Mer."Cristina replied, thankful that they had the elevator ride to talk.

Leaning against the wall, Meredith crossed her arms, contemplating. "Addison talked to me the other day. She wants me to go to McStea...to Mark's party. And I want to go...I feel like I should go. But everyone will be there. Derek will be there."

"Seriously? Honestly, I think you shouldn't avoid it. If it happens, let it happen. It took Burke and me a few years, but because of the whole Chief thing we're still keeping it under wraps. But I love him, Meredith. Me. No rings, get drunk, no emotion Cristina...I've been called cut throat, competitive and arrogant. But I've never been called someone's wife. How am I supposed to do that?"

Seeing the emotion in her friend's was brought back to the memories of her internship days. Smiling, Meredith looked over as the elevator doors opened. "You'll find a way."

Laughing, Cristina shook her head. "You are a ton of help, Meredith. Two years in the land of the sun, and you can't give me one piece of advice."

"Cristina? You'll be okay. He loves you..you have a future with him. Why doubt it?"

"So positive...anyway, I've got interns to tend to...Can we have lunch?"

"Sure thing. Cafeteria cuisine."

* * *

The morning droned by with nothing out of the ordinary. Meredith soon realized that Seattle Grace really hadn't changed much since she had left, but the people had. Debbie had left, and Nurse Tyler had grown out of the whole 'hanging around the station' thing. George had grown into quite the responsible surgeon, as had Cristina. Alex was still as cocky as ever, but that Meredith could at least find a resemblence of familiarity in.

Sitting in the cafeteria, Meredith watched as Derek approached. "You have lunch with Cristina. I know. But I needed to talk to you."

"I see. Is something wrong?"

"Oh. No. I uh, about this morning. I guess I wanted to apoligize if it seemed like I was cutting you off. Or the whole conversation for that matter..."

"Derek. You really don't have to apoligize. It's okay."

"Are you sure?"He asked, reaching across the table. He watched her unsure eyes, wanting to reach out and touch her. He loved her, but the weight of what had happened, the seriousness of everything that was going on. Derek didn't want to do anything to scare Meredith away. Looking into her dimly lit blue eyes, he remembered what it looked like when they were bright, when he could see their future shining in them. Before the prom. Before everything got so screwed up.

"I am. We had to get inside anyway."

Derek nodded, sinking back into the chair. He was thankful that Cristina was taking a long time, apparently just now closing on a surgery. She'd be in within a few minutes, probably before Meredith had the chance to leave. But he was thankful for their moment alone. "Go with me."

"What?"Meredith asked, her mouth hanging open. "To where?"

"You know where. It would be no fun without you. It's like little New York at their house...breakable stuff everywhere. Kinda wierd for a guy who's as...anyway, you don't have to-"

"Derek."Meredith said, causing him to stop. She saw the look on his face, surprised at how much it appeared that he was actually putting himself on the line. It was then that she felt the lump rise in her throat. Trying to breathe, to blink, to give Derek any sign that yes, she wanted to, Meredith simply made a light sound, almost short of being an exclamation. Blushing, she turned her head, watching as doctors and patients' families hurried past. Turning back to him, Meredith smiled. "I would love to go."

It felt like an eternity between the time Derek asked and the time Meredith gave her answer, but he was grateful for every second. It seemed impossible-how two years barely put a dent in what he felt for her. "Good."

"Good."

"Can I sit down, or is this table for daydreamers only?"Cristina asked, breaking them from their gaze.

"I should get going...I have patientsto check on. Cristina.."Derek said, greeting her. "Meredith. I'll stop by the house later today if you don't mind. I'll see you then."

Almost hoping for a quick kiss before he left, Meredith still felt the moment from before. Brushing her hair back, she watched as Cristina studied her. "What?"

"You love him."

"I do what?...Cristina, he wants to come by to visit with Elizabeth. Why are you acting like Izzie with the whole assuming thing?"

"Am I not allowed to be happy for once in my life?"Cristina asked, sitting back. "I am allowed to be happy. It's just not-"

"Normal? I have to go. If you want to come by later to...I dunno, remember old times or something tonight...I wouldn't mind."Meredith said, hurrying back to work.

"I can't."Cristina muttered, knowing Meredith wouldn't hear her. "I have dinner with Burke's mother."

* * *

Derek showed up earlier than expected, grocery bags in hand. "Hey...sucking up already, huh?"Alex asked as he opened the door.

"Well, I figured that Izzie would be staying home for a few days...and I seem to recall how hungry Meredith can get around midnight. So that pretty much means that the food will be disappearing quicker."He said as the two of them walked into the kitchen. "Where are the girls, anyway?"

"Upstairs in Iz's room. Do you mind if I ask you something?"Alex asked, not sure how awkward it would come across.

"Ask away."Derek replied, shrugging.

Alex nodded, putting away the carton of milk Derek brought. "If you love her, why don't you just say so? Earlier, in the cafeteria...you had this look..anyway, I'm not a chick or anything...which is probably already obvious, but-"

"It's Izzie."

"What?"

"Izzie. She's grown on you, huh?"

"I guess. I'm just saying..."

"Hey, look who's here."Izzie said, smiling as she, Meredith and Elizabeth entered the kitchen. "And he came baring food...what's all this?"

"Fruit, vegetables...some Oreos...Spaghetti. It makes it easier for you guys."Derek replied, watching as Meredith eyed him. "Could I...talk to you for a seond?"

"Sure."

They walked into the living room, Meredith cradling Elizabeth on her hip. "Derek? What did you have to say?"

He paced, turning back around to face her as his back reached the wall. "What are we doing here? Not here as in this house, or in Seattle..I'm talking about us. We can't ignore it forever when random people keep pointing it out. If we ignore it, it's not gonna go away. I love you, Meredith. So right now the choice is yours."

Her mouth hung open, slowly walking towards him. She wasn't sure of the words she would say as her barefeet met the wood of the living room floor. Suddenly, she didn't have to as Elizabeth stretched her arms towards him, smiling. "Daaaaa...ddy."

Not even trying to hide his emotions, Derek scooped her into his arms. She'd said things before to him-fragments. He'd even heard her babble small sentences. But that word...the recognition in his daughter's word confirmed the feeling the he saw echoed in Meredith's eyes. They were a family, and they were going to stay that way.


	15. Somewhere Inbetween

**Author's Note: So I wanted a certain feeling for this chapter, because I have so much planned coming up, and so I'm not entirely sure how it will play out, but I hope that you guys like it. Enjoy!**

* * *

Derek rounded the corner, coming face to Meredith. Seeing how seemingly shocked she was, he offered a smile. "Hey. Morning." 

Meredith nodded, staring at him. "Hey."

"How are you?"He asked after a few seconds.

"Oh, um...good. I'm good. I'm about to go speak with a patient about her surgery, but-"

"Well then I don't want to stand in your way."Derek replied, watching as she tried to act formal.

"Derek, It's not that I-"

"No. I get it. Be my guest-"He said, stepping aside so she could walk through. "Oh, and there _is _something you should know."

Meredith raised an eyebrow, knowing he would tell her either way. "What would that be?"

Derek looked up at her, hoping that she would react positively. "I have a meeting this afternoon. It's with contractors...see, I'm planning to build."

"Build?"

"Build."Derek said definately. "As in..house...on land..."

"Oh. Right."Meredith said, what he was saying still being pieced together in her mind. "Wait. Derek? You're...building. Why now?"

Sighing, Derek pulled her towards the corner. Swallowing, he stared at her, hoping that she would understand what he was trying to do. "Because, Mer...I told you that I wasn't giving up. And I'm not. I never built before, because I didn't have a reason to. And now I do."

Meredith stared back at him, both impressed and scared at the step Derek was taking.

"Well, you have patients...and I have to get to a surgery. So-"Derek said, smiling. "I'll catch up with you tonight."

* * *

Meredith stepped into the patient's room, the thoughts still processing in her mind. Derek. The House. Elizabeth. Without saying it, Derek had asked her to move in with him. She just hoped that by the time the house was built, she would be able to. "Hello, Mrs.Patterson. I'm Doctor Grey, do you-" 

"I remember you. So how did the surgery go. Am I gonna live?"She asked sarcastically.

Taken back by Mrs.Patterson's reaction, Meredith nodded. "Yes, Mrs.Patteron. The results were great. In all actuality, we removed the tumor just in time. There were, however, complications-"

"Oh, here we go...I've been in a hospital three times in the past year. A different one every time. They all say "oh, it's nothing. Just take some medication and you'll be fine"...Seattle Grace is supposed to be a great hospital. And you people are just gonna tell me the same things all the others have."

"Actually, what I was going to say was that we will have to do another surgery. Mrs.Patterson, the tumor was actually bigger than we had anticipated. There were risks going in to begin with, and now with the prospect of another surgery, the risks are higher."

Mrs.Patterson sat back on her bed, contemplating. She had a natural scowl etched onto her face, interrupting Meredith's chances of feeling happy after the conversation with Derek in the hallway. "If I'm cutting into your personal time, you can go."

"I'm going to talk to our neurosurgeon we have on staff...Doctor Shepherd. I'm sure that you have questions, and he will be able to answer them more appropriately than I can."

Meredith left the room, processing what had happened. Out of all the patients she had when she returned to Seattle Grace, Mrs.Patterson was probably the most awkward to deal with.

She went through the day, completing various projects. She scrubbed in on an emergency surgery, helping a man who had come in due to a car accident. Tired, Meredith numbly found her way to the hospital basement, leaning her head against the wall as she climbed onto one of the beds.

"You, too?"George asked as he found her.

Nodding, Meredith patted a spot next to her, telling him to sit down. The moment made her think of all the times they had spent on break in that particular hallway. Everything that had happened during her internship at the hospital, and how close she had gotten with all of her friends. Meredith had missed them all, but at the time, moving to Los Angeles was the best option. "Do you wanna go to L.A.?"She asked, breaking the silence.

"You...aren't planning on running away again, are you?"George asked.

"No."Meredith said, laughing. "My stuff, well, _some_ of my stuff is still down there. Elizabeth's crib, pictures...tables. I need someone to help me get it all back."

"When?"George asked, amused at the thought of making a trip.

Meredith wrapped her arms around her legs, tucking them underneath her chin. "What about Saturday? We can make a drive of it."

"You wanna drive to California to pick up your things, and be back for work on Monday?"

"George...do you want to come?"Meredith asked, frustrated. Truth was, she missed spending time with everyone, and a drive to pick up her belongings could be the perfect oppurtunity to get to know some of them again.

"Sure. I'd like to. Who else is coming?"He asked.

She shrugged, sighing. "Derek will probably wanna stay here with Elizabeth, and Izzie is still recuperating...so I guess Cristina, maybe. Unless I can get Mark, but the thought of riding in a car with two guys for hours..."

"Why Mark?"

"Oh...Yeah, I'm going to a party Thrusday. For his birthday."Meredith replied, actually trying to sound thrilled.

"Do you realize that Mark and Addison are married? Meaning that she will be there?"George asked, amused.

Meredith nodded, brushing the hair out of her face. She turned her head to face him, shrugging. "Addison was the one who asked me in the first place."

"Oh."

She nodded, laughing. It was moments like the one she was having with George that made her miss talking to everyone. She was officially back, which meant that she had a chance, but Meredith had already missed so much. Feeling tears start to fill her eyes, she looked away, pretending to cough.

"Meredith, if you're upset-"

"I'm not. I'm just-"She stopped, slapping her hands against her legs. "I want my life back. And now that it's finally here..."Meredith dropped off the latter part of her sentence, staring at the wall.

"You don't know what to think."George finished, thankful that he had Meredith to talk to. "I get that way sometimes. We all do, Meredith. Sometimes more than others. But-"He said, putting an arm around her shoulder. "We love you."

Meredith laughed, looking at him through the corner of her eye. She smiled, nudging him. "Thanks, George."

* * *

Derek picked up Meredith that night after making sure that Elizabeth had a baby sitter. Since George and Callie would be over, anyway (George was going to spend time with Izzie, Callie was just tagging along), he knew all that would happen would be board games or movies, so he asked them to take care of her. 

"Are you sure it's okay? If there is _any_ problem, call one of us. You have Mer's cell number, and I just gave you mine."Derek replied.

"Okay."Izzie said, walking up to him. Smiling, she tried to keep composure. "Not that I don't find this 'McDreamy being a protective father' thing sweet...but we have a game of monopoly to get to...and you know how long that takes. Don't worry, Derek. Elizabeth will be well taken care of. Just go..."Izzie said, tissue in hand. She ushered Meredith and Derek to the door, opening it. "Have fun. Just don't bring Meredith home too late."

Laughing, Derek assured her that Meredith would be home sooner rather than later, and proceeded to leave.

"So where exactly are we going?"Meredith asked him.

"To the house."

"What?"She asked, confused. "But you just said earlier that you had a meeting with the contractors this afternoon. There is no way..."

"Okay, so the land the house will be on."Derek replied, correcting himself. "And then I was thinking...dinner at my place? Because afterall, it is so close."

Meredith shook her head, watching as her fingers intertwined with his. She had finally grown into the happiness she was feeling, and seeing the land how he saw it couldn't be a bad thing.

When they arrived at the trailer, Derek placed thier things inside and grabbed her hand, leading Meredith down the trail. "See..i'm thinking we could put a swingset about here...eventually. And the lake is perfect for swimming, and fishing. During the summer of course. And-"Derek said, spinning Meredith around. "Right there...is where I want the house to be. It faces the water-It has a perfect view. And quick access to the road, minus a few trees."

Meredith stared into Derek's eyes, trying to picture everything he had mentioned.

"It takes a little imagination, but-"Derek shrugged, clearly happy. He had a smirk on his face, knowing that it was what he wanted.

"So you really want me and Elizabeth to move in with you?"Meredith asked.

"When the house is done, of course. Which could take a long time, or a short time...whatever happens. See, my plan is to take the time that it takes to build, to convince you to move in."He confessed.

Taking a deep breath, Meredith walked closer to him. She saw the look in his eyes, saw how sure he was about it, and wanted to be as sure. Leaning into him, she pressed her lips to his, making the kiss deeper. Her fingers found his hair, curling up in it. She had kissed him since she was back, but this time it meant more. Feeling as Derek pulled her even closer, Meredith sighed in content. She wanted to convince him. She wanted him to know.

He pulled back reluctantly, due to the need for air. Leaning his forhead against hers, Derek laughed. His arms still around her, he planted a peck on her nose. "So uh, can I count that as a yes? Because if not, I'm uh...a little confused."

Meredith shook her head, staring into his blue eyes. She missed them. Missed looking into them, missed seeing the look he had saved just for them in them. She breathed in slowly, nodding her head. "I want to want to move in with you, yes."

"So, what you're saying is..."Derek said, hoping he had her.

"I'm saying that I want to, but Derek, so much stuff has happened in the past couple of weeks...days, mostly. I need the time, you know?"

He nodded, understanding what she meant. "The time to build the house."

"Exactly."Meredith said, linking her arms with his. "Now, about dinner..."She laughed, content as they headed to the trailer. She cast a look back at where he had said the house would be, and slowly, she could begin to see it. The Swingset. The windows and the dirt walkway. It was her future, and the man walking beside her was in it.

* * *

**So I hope you guys like this chapter, especially more than the last one, because even I know it wasn't up to par. It didn't mesh with everything I had going on, and a few people were acting OOC. It was important to me in this update to get a George/Mer scene as just them, because it sets it up for future stuff I plan on doing. Despite the thing that we shall never mention between them, I love their relationship. I love how they are always there for each other regardless of what happens. So, with that said...reviews are wonderful, so click that beautiful little button, and leave me one! Thank you SO much for reading...it means a lot to me.**


	16. Party at the Sloan's

**Author's Note: Hey guys, so I wanted a little time to pass between chapters, and while it isn't entirely fluff for the whole time, I felt that I needed to add some, but not enough to make it all fluffiness. Anyway, with that said...enjoy-and leave a review, please!**

* * *

It was Thursday, and all day Meredith had been thinking about it. Mark's birthday. The entire 'party at Addison's' thing had been weighing on her mind, and she still wasn't sure how she felt about it. Staring into the mirror, she wondered if her outfit wouldn't be too casual. Her shirt was a red long sleeve, and a pair of blue jeans. She wore boots, and her hair was tousled. Taking a once over, she turned to see Cristina standing in the doorway.

"Hey."

"McDreamy's downstairs..."

"Yeah."

"So you're back together."

She looked around, shrugging. "We're waiting."

"Until what?"Cristina asked.

"Until he builds the house."Meredith replied. She grabbed her purse, walking into the hall. "Don't say anything, okay? Nothing is definite yet. We're taking it slow."

"Slow used to be a bottle of tequila at Joe's. Have things changed that much?"Cristina asked, seemingly depressed. "Burke's going, but me? I claim helping out Izzie with Elizabeth. It'll be a little easier, though I'm sure you and Addison in the same room with Mark and Derek for more than five minutes could prove to be entertaining."

"Cristina-"Meredith whispered harshly. The two made their way downstairs, watching as Derek was holding Elizabeth. "Hey...you know, you could have made yourself comfortable."

Derek looked up, smiling. "I know. I wanted to say goodbye before we left. We won't be back until late."

"Not that late if you have anything to say about it."Cristina said, jabbing Meredith in the side.

"I'm glad we're leaving our daughter in capable hands. Mer?"Derek said, leaning his head towards the door.

Meredith nodded, sighing. "Come here, baby." She took Elizabeth into her arms, watching as she smiled. "You're beautiful, you know that? Are you gonna be good for aunt Izzie tonight?...You won't keep her and Alex up for too long?"

"I'm sure they'll keep themselves up just fine."

"Cristina, seriously."Meredith replied. "But really, Iz...are you sure? Addison said we could bring her along."

Izzie nodded as Meredith placed Elizabeth in the play pen that Derek bought for her. "You two need time. Remember the whole McDreamy thing?...Yeah, that's not gonna happen if you have the McBaby hanging around. She is gorgeous..don't worry."

Out in the hall, Alex had just come in from going to get groceries, and gestured to have Derek help him. "Thanks, man."He said, setting all the bags on the table. "I figured by now you and Meredith woulda left."

Derek nodded, shrugging. "Meredith has this thing about leaving Elizabeth alone for more than five seconds...of course it could be due to the fact that they've barely had any time apart in the almost two years of her life."

"Does Mer know you're still bitter about the whole thing?"Alex asked, putting the cereal away.

"I'm not bitter."Derek retorted. He sighed, putting the milk in the fridge. "But I know it's gotta be hard for her."

Alex nodded. "Not that you asked, but if you're really planning on making her move in with you, you should probably build that house fast. If she gets too much time, she'll get scared."

"Meredith won't get scared."

"Whatever. I'm just sayin'. Anyway-"

"Alex! I didn't know you were home..."Izzie said, kissing him. "Oh...and you came with cookies."

"You buy cookies now?"Derek asked, curious.

"Oh, well..._actually_...they're for Elizabeth. They're _Gerber_. See?"Izzie replied, waving the box at him.

"You're buying my daughter cookies?"Derek asked, watching as Meredith walked into the room. "They bought Elizabeth cookies."

Meredith nodded, laughing a little. "It's okay, Derek. They're fruit. It's okay, she's teething and they're supposed to help her."

Derek shrugged, noticing how calm Meredith seemed about the whole thing. "We should get going. Mark and Addison are waiting."

* * *

Meredith stood outside the door, waiting as Derek was on his cellphone in the driveway. She was about to go back towards him when Addison suddenly opened the door.

"I thought I heard someone out here. Come in."She said, waving towards the house. "Derek...are you coming?"

"Yeah, just a second-"He said, placing his phone back in his pocket. "Sorry about that. So where is the prodigal guy anyway?"

"Mark...he's in the living room entertaining Burke and a few others."Addison said, leading them into the living room.

"Derek. Meredith. Glad to see you two could make it. Do you guys need something to drink?"Mark asked, walking over to them.

"Actually, I'm fine. For now. Derek?"

He nodded, following Mark to the bar.

Addison looked over at Meredith, who was watching the other guests playing a game of poker. "Meredith, could you help me in the kitchen?"She asked.

"Sure."Meredith replied, following her. She was greeted by a white furnished kitchen with marble countertops. She appraoched the island tentatively, drumming her fingers on the countertop. "So-help?"

"Right. More people should be coming, but not too many. Mark has actually toned down as far as the partying goes. Here, can you toss the salad?"Addison asked, pushing the bowl over to her. She slid on a pair of oven mittens, taking out a pan of garlic bread.

"Smells good."Meredith said, trying to make conversation. She looked up as she tossed the salad, watching as Addison delicately placed the bread onto a cooling rack. She found it funny how normal it seemed, but at the same time felt a pinch of envy. Addison was a surgeon, wife of a plastic surgeon, and yet somehow she still managed to have the perfectly clean house with the manicured lawn.

Addison sipped from her glass, sighing. "Do you want some? I know you refused earlier, but-"

"Actually, sure. But not too much. Someone has to drive home tonight."

Addison laughed, pouring some into a glass for Meredith. "So...you're back at Seattle Grace."

"Mmm-hmm."Meredith replied, staring at the counter. Her chipped nailpolish, ringless hands almost made her feel ashamed, but she was reminded then of who she was, and how she had gotten there. "It's been going good. I'm going back to California this weekend, though. To pick up the rest of my things."

"Of course. Is Derek going with you?"

Meredith shrugged, adjusting on the stool. "I don't know. I assume that he'll want to stay to watch Elizabeth. But George is coming."

"George."Addison said, almost as if she was amused.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just...I was remembering something that happened a few months ago. A patient came in from an accident, she was um...flirting with him..in a very open way."Addison replied, downing the rest of her drink.

"Really?"Meredith said, allowing her self to feel at ease. "...so what did George do?"

Addison laughed, wiping at her lip. "He stammered a little, but inadvertantly ended up participating in her surgery. After she woke up, she didn't remember anything that had happened, of course."

"Of course."

"What's going on in here?"Mark asked, smiling as he studied the two women. He walked over to Addison, kissing her.

"Catching up on old times. And George's little drunken patient."

"Oh, I remember that."Derek said, laughing. "Poor guy."

Meredith's eyes darted back and forth between the other three people in the room, watching as they interacted. Just two years before, they wouldn't even want to exist in the same room, let alone having conversations over drinks.

"So...the phone rang a few minutes ago."Mark said, watching Addison put finishing touches on the salad. "It was Savvy."

"Savvy?..As in New York Savvy?"

"Yeah. Aparrently, her and Weiss won't be able to make it...flights are backed up, and Weiss has work...but they wanted to wish the old man a great birthday?"

Addison laughed, shrugging. "I'll have to talk to her later on. It's okay, Mark. We're all getting older."

He shook his head, looking over at Meredith and Derek. "Burke and Webber are about to start another game of cards...because someone seems to have lost every other game we have."

"They're in the closet."Addison defended. "But really? I can't see you and Derek battling over prices on Park Place. Dinner?"

"Why don't people just come and serve themselves?"Derek suggested.

"Okay."Addison said, as the bell rang. "And I will get that."

Meredith turned towards Derek, shrugging.

"Glad you came?"Derek asked.

Meredith nodded, reaching foward towards him. "They're happy."

"Yeah. They are."Derek replied, tentatively placing his hands on her sides. "Are we happy?"

"We're happy."Meredith said, hearing the song that was coming on from the radio. "Wanna dance?"

"Dance?...you?"

"Come on, Derek...please?"Meredith whined, giggling as he pretended to act formal. She watched as Mark was shaking hands with someone in the hall. She took Derek's hand, leading him in the living room. It had filled even more so, mostly with doctors, but some of Mark and Addison's neighbors had now filtered in. It was funny, though. How in a room with hardly anyone she knew, standing next to Derek, Meredith felt like she belonged.

* * *

**I know that there wasn't much MerDer in this chapter, but I wanted to sort of reveal Meredith getting over her insecurities about the Addison thing, and for my own reasons I needed to add the Maddison. Anyway, I know that Savvy and Weiss were Addy's friends, but Mark mentioning them sort of makes it more real. More couple like.**

**And I know someone will end up mentioning the whole Izzie watching Elizabeth again thing. But time has passed-almost a week. And, you know how friends watch out for each other, plus, I've got a really good McFamily moment coming up soon. Leave me a review, please! Thanks so much for reading!**


	17. Rained in Confessions

**Author's Note: So Grey's was renewed for a fourth season. Let's just hope that it isn't overshadowed by _Montgomery's Ward_ (the tentative title for Grey's 2.0), or that they don't constantly use our show to advertise. Sorry, I love Addison too, but I really think doing a spin off, at least this early in the game is a mistake. But what do I know? Anyway, leave a review, please!**

* * *

The party continued, Meredith staying close to Derek's side as he, Mark and Addison discussed old times. While she felt a tad awkward, Meredith had to admit that being back in the loop again meant that she had catching up to do.

"Well, it's been great, you guys, but I have to go pick up Cristina. There's a surgery scheduled early tomorrow, and I've been instructed by Cristina to pick her up early. Though I think-"Burke paused as a flash of lightning came from outside.

"It's really starting to storm out there."Mark said from his place in front of the coffee table. Turning to Addison he smiled. "You scared?"

She hit his arm, laughing a little. "You know by now that I'm not. But still, I-"

The lights flickered, causing Meredith to inch closer to Derek. Being in Addison's house was nerve-wracking enough, but the reality that they could very well lose power caused her to put herself on edge. Her fingers lightly grasped Derek's wrist, cool and clammy.

"Hey-"Derek whispered. "Are you okay?"

Meredith sighed, shaking it off like it was nothing. "Yeah. I'm fine. I'm uh, I'm gonna call Izzie and see how Elizabeth is, okay?"She said, standing.

"Actually, Meredith, with the way this storm is acting I doubt you'll be able to get a signal."Addison replied. "But feel free to use the phone in the kitchen."

Meredith smiled, waving as she walked out of the room. Once safe out in the hall, she could hear Burke saying that he would stay atleast until the storm was over. It would be crazy to drive in weather like they were having. Walking into the kitchen, Meredith found the phone located on the counter, and with shaking hands, dialed the number. Waiting impatiently, Meredith wished someone would answer the phone.

* * *

"You can't-you can't put surgery on the board, Iz! You just...that's a work word. And you said it would be a work free night!"George defended, watching as Izzie calculated her points for her turn in Scrabble.

"I can..."Izzie said, smiling. As she grabbed tiles from the box, she leaned foward. "And I did. Besides, George...just because it's a work word doesn't mean it's not a practical word. I had the letters, how else was I supposed to use them?"

Cristina sighed, again shoving her phone back into her bag. "Where is Burke? Seriously, he said he would be back from that stupid party by now. It's not like McSteamy or Addison are his type, anyway."She muttered, sitting back on the couch.

"I'm sure he's got a reason, Cristina."Izzie said, delving into the bag of Cheetos. She looked over at the baby monitor sitting on the nearby table, frowning. "She's supposed to be asleep...the poor girl is probably scared with all of this.."Izzie muttered. "I knew we should have just let her sleep down here."

"Izzie, you can't just-Izzie..you're winning!"George whined.

"That's the point, Bambi. Otherwise she would have made you go get Elizabeth."Cristina replied, content in flipping through a magazine. As the phone rang, she jumped to answer it. "Thank God...where are you?"

"What's wrong, Cristina? Is she okay?"Meredith asked, concerned.

Cristina sighed, chewing her gum. "Meredith? Is Burke still there? Why are you guys not _here_ yet?"

"Because believe it or not, we're actually having a good time..I guess. That, and have you taken a look outside lately? It's storming, and the lights are flickering and-"Meredith paused upon hearing the sound of Elizabeth crying filter through the phone. "Is she okay?"

"It's okay, honey...hey...Come on, it's Aunt Iz. Shhh..."Izzie said, trying her best to console Elizabeth. She hated to see children cry, and when it was her friend's kid, it hurt somehow even more. "Come on, are you scared? I heard you say something the other day, so just tell me, okay?"

"You're just the baby whisperer, aren't you?"Cristina quipped, realizing she was still on the phone with Meredith. "She's fine. She's just scared because of this storm or whatever. But really, if you wanna use the excuse to back out of the party now, then do it...say she's sick or you couldn't get a hold of anyone here or something."

Meredith nervousily tapped her fingernails on the counter, trying carefully to breathe. It never rained much in California, but the few times it did, nothing good ever happened. Explaining that to people wouldn't be easy.

"Mer? You okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Listen, can you put the phone up to her ear? Maybe she would calm down if she heard me..."

"Uh, yeah. Hey, Izzie..."Cristina said, motioning for her to come closer. Izzie sat down on the couch, amazied at the fact that rocking the child was soothing her enough already. She felt proud of herself in a sense, and was glad she herself was able to help.

"Sweetie?...It's your mommy. Hey, bug...I know you're-"Meredith paused, biting her lip. "I know that you're scared. And mommy is too, okay? Just let Izzie and George and Cristina take care of you until your daddy and me get home. The big, scary storm will go away soon, okay?"Meredith said.

Elizabeth's face twitched, her black hair sticking to her face a little due to sweat. Tears were still tracing down the baby's face, but for the most part, her fears had subsided.

Meredith exhaled slowly, hoping that the worst was over. "I love you, honey."

Izzie took the phone from Cristina telling George to go to the kitchen and get Elizabeth something to drink. "Everything's fine, Mer. Just enjoy your night out and everything will be okay."

"I wish. Just-if she gets scared...whisper in her ear. It helps sometimes. If not, do something to make her laugh. Though I'm sure images of Cristina dancing like a clown would probably scar the poor kid."

Izzie laughed, choking back soda. "Everything's okay, Mer. I'll talk to you when you get home. Bye."

* * *

Meredith hung the phone back in its cradle as another crack of thunder erupted. Just as it did, the lights again flickered, only this time completely shutting off.

There was a period of silence for a minute before she heard anything from the other room. "Are you okay in there, Meredith?"Addison asked, raising her voice.

"I'm fine...are there flashlights, or candles...something we need while I'm in here?"Meredith asked, not wanting to intrude.

"Uh, Yeah..."Addison said from the hallway. "There's a black and yellow flashlight...actually in the drawer right in front of where you're at."She said, coming into the room. "So how is she?"

It didn't occur to Addison that the question would seem inappropriate, because after the party, everyone had grown closer together, and while they weren't friends exactly, Mark and Derek had mended fences, and she still held hope that they could, too. Something about the way Meredith was acting clued her in on the fact that maybe everything wasn't _okay_. It was something that worried her.

"She's fine. I'm just..."Meredith smiled, safely turning on the flashlight. "I have a little fear of storms, I guess."

Addison laughed a little, nodding. "I know the feeling. But Mark went to go check out the power situation. It was probably the breaker, so we should probably have power back anytime now."

"There you guys are..."Derek said, a lit candle in his hand. "We were about to start an impromptu game of charades in the living room. We should probably head back-"

"Charades, Derek? Did it occur to you that this is an _adult_ party?"Addison asked, amused.

Derek shrugged, studying Meredith. "Well, yes, of course...but in my defense it wasn't my idea. We're all bored people here, Addison. What do you expect us to do?"

She nodded, watching his gaze. Sensing there was something they needed to discuss, she patted his arm. "Well, I'm heading out there...if you find any more flashlights, bring them out, Meredith. It could be short or long...we never know."

Meredith watched her leave, sighing.

"Meredith?"

She looked back at Derek, rubbing her arm.

"You're not okay."Derek said, voicing his concern. His hand lifted, rubbing her cheek. "What's bothering you?"

She turned away from him, sitting punctually at the kitchen island. "It's nothing. I'm fine."

"You know that you can't lie to me. So whatever wool it is that you're trying to pull over my eyes...it won't work, Mer. Something is bothering you, and I'd like to think you could tell me what it is."

Meredith sighed, staring at her hands. Derek walked behind her, rubbing carefully on her back. She turned her head towards him, taking a breath. "It's Elizabeth."

"Is she okay?"

"What?...Yeah, Yeah..she's..."Meredoth propped her head up with her hand on the counter. "She's okay."

Derek frowned, confused. "Then I don't see the problem..."

"And this storm. It just makes me uneasy is all."

"Meredith."Derek said, his blue eyes staring a hole into her. He wanted her to know that he was there for her, that if she needed to talk, he wanted to be the one to listen.

Meredith nodded, feeling a tear escape. "I should have told you."She whispered. "It happened about three months before I wrote you. There was this...freak storm in Los Angeles...I mean, I knew it was coming, but I didn't think it would be hard. Anyway-"She stopped, suddenly growing cold. "Elizabeth was in the backseat, and I was driving back from my friend, Teresa's house. The road was so dark, and I could barely see. The-The car in front of me lost control, and we went barreling into it. I tried...I tried to stop the car. I tried to-to do something. But it didn't work. There was an accident."

Derek was silent, his hand frozen in its place on her back. "What happened?"He asked, forcing the words to come.

She nodded, closing her eyes. "We were okay, really. But I was in the hospital overnight, and so was she. I just...ever since I've had this phobia of storms, you know? I used to love them when I was a kid, but...Elizabeth."She whispered. "The thought that you didn't know her. That you didn't know _about_ her...I couldn't live with myself if anything were to happen. I battled with it fo a while, but eventually I came to the conclusion that I had to tell you."

"So you...you never really wanted to tell me? It took a near death situation for you to even think about telling me I had a daughter?"Derek asked, his voice growing cold. "It's nice that you're being honest."

"Derek-"

The lights flickered back on, the sound of Mark hollering flooding the house. "Everything's gonna be okay!...I fixed it!"

Meredith laughed, shaking her head. "Sounds like he had too much to drink."

"Yeah."Derek replied, not looking at her. He wanted to believe Meredith had told him because she wante dto, not because of obligation. The thought of losing either of them made him sick.

"Derek, please..."

"Hey! Hey Derek..."Mark called, running in the room. "The lights are fixed. So you know, if you guys planned on going home...I guess you can."

"I guess so. I'll say good bye to everyone first."Derek said, promptly exiting the room.

Mark looked bakc and forth between the doorway and Meredith, confused. "What just happened?"


	18. Between Lost and Found

**Author's Note: I know everyone was expecting happiness from here on out, but there's still a bump or two to get over, and to get to the point that I want to be in this story, Mer and Derek have some truth to get out, and stuff to just..heal. Wounds. Secrets. Honesty. They'll be together in the end, I swear. I just have stuff to get over first. Oh, and the ending wrote itself...I have had the idea for a while now, and it just seemed fitting...it's gonna get a little angsty on that end, but this chapter isn't that bad. Read. Love...Review :)...**

* * *

Meredith woke up the next morning, silently curled up in a ball in the middle of her bed. She saw the crib in the corner, and knew that within minutes, she would have to wake Elizabeth up, take her to daycare and go to work. She didn't feel like it. The entire car ride home was for the most part silent. Meredith was familiar with brooding Derek, but this time it was different. This time Derek just seemed so much more hurt. 

Sighing, Meredith struggled to find strength to get up, to sieze the day. She was sure that if she wasn't up soon, Izzie would come in, saying that if she herself could get up and find a way around, then Meredith could, too.

The door cracked open, but instead of Izzie, it was Alex. He slowly walked in, staring at the brown hair that was sticking out from underneath the comforter. Sitting on the bed, he sighed, shaking his head.

Pulling the comforter down, Meredith frowned. "What?"

"You're hiding."

"He's here?"

"He who?"

Meredith sighed, her throat feeling scratchy. "Derek. What are you doing in my room?"

"Izzie is downstairs mumbling about how it's her first week back since everything that happened and that you shouldn't stay out because of anything McDreamy said."

"You do realize you just referred to Derek as McDreamy, right?"Meredith said, trying to force herself into a sitting position. Wincing, she laid her head down, defeated on the pillow.

"Shut up."Alex isnisted, shoving her. "Are you gonna get up?"

"Yeah...just a minute."Meredith said, closing her eyes. Opening them, she saw that Alex was still sitting there. "Alex..."She sighed, turning in the bed towards him. "You weren't here when I got home."

He shrugged, sighing. "There was a surgery at the hospital."

"One that was such a big emergency that you just had to go, and yet none of the rest of us...including Mark, Addison, Burke and Derek weren't called?"Meredith asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Okay...so I've been trying to put in extra hours."

"You're avoiding Izzie?"Meredith asked.

Alex shook his head. "No...the exact opposite. I've been trying to get up enough money so, you know..."He trailed off, hoping he wouldn't have to spell it out.

"Oh...so you're-"

"Shut up."Alex warned. "People..downstairs."

Meredith coughed, groaning.

Alex frowned, studying her face. "You really aren't feeling good, are you?"

She shook her head, arms sore. "No. My throat is sore, and my head feels heavy. I'll just get some cough medicine and I'll be fine."

"Honestly I was waiting for you to say something."He admitted, laughing a little.

"Why?"

"Because you look horrible."

She tried to stifle a laugh, as it hurt. "You were always the honest one..."

"And your forehead's warm. You want me to bring Izzie up here?"Alex asked, thinking she would want to explain herself.

"No. I'll-"Meredith stopped, reaching for a tissue at the side of her bed. "I'm fine. Really..."

"Meredith...good morning. Oh, you look..."

"Horrible, I know, Iz. Alex was nice enough to tell me."Meredith said, amused at the fact that now both were perched at the end of her bed.

Izzie, her hair pulled back, reached forward, her ponytail swishing foward. Meredith felt the coolness of her palm, telling her that it wasn't a good thing. "Mm...not good."

"What?...That bad?"

"Should I call Derek?"

"Can we leave Derek out of this one?...Please?"Meredoth said, still trying to convince the both of them she was okay.

"What did he do this time?"Alex asked.

"Alex, can you go grab the meds from the bathroom...Meredith, you can't go in today."Izzie said, wanting Meredith to tell her, but she knew that she wouldn't feel comfortable enough with Alex there.

Meredith closed her eyes, listening as Alex padded out of the room. "Izzie, everything is fine. I'll just take Elizabeth to daycare, go in to work...at least for the morning..."

"Mer?...You're pale. Your voice is..all nasily. You're running a fever. Now tell me what McDreamy did."

"My throat is sore, but I need to go in today...and it wasn't Derek who did anything."She insisted.

Izzie sighed, shaking her head. "You're too sick to go in. Now if you want me to, I can take Elizabeth in to the daycare, but you will have to call them to let them know I'm coming. It'll give you sleep time. And if Derek didn't do anything, then what happened?..You have that look on your face."

"I have a look?"

"Yes. Alex-"

"Right here-"Alex said, waving a box of cold pills in the air, and a Dixie cup filled with water. "Not exactly hospital par, but what can you do?"

Meredith forced a smile, taking the pills. "Thanks, you two. But seriously...I can do this on my own. I can go in."

* * *

Later on that morning, Derek was reviewing post-op notes that an intern had done when a hand tapped his shoulder. "Is it important, or can it wait? I have a man who just suffered a hemmorhage to the left-" 

"You're overly broody today."Addison said, pushing her glasses further up on her nose.

"I'm always broody to you."

"Well, yes, of course you are...but that's because you're Derek. But the past few weeks have been different. Until today. Did something happen at the party last night?"

Derek sighed, shutting the folder. Staring at Addison, he shrugged. "Nothing happened. Nothing that would concern you, anyway. Everything is done and taken care of."

He tried to leave, but Addison caught his arm. "You know, with all due respect, this isn't like you, Derek. The constant frowning, and the glares...that may have been well suited for you before, but now that Meredith's back you have been so much better...what happened last night?"

He shook his head defiantly, trying to walk away from her.

"Okay, so you aren't talking. But I am. Which, in friendships, tends to mean that you at least attenpt to listen to me. Or you know, naturally whomever happens to be telling you something."Addison said, stopping in the middle of the hallway. "Derek."

"I'm fine. Meredith's fine. She isn't _here_, but she's fine. We had a disagreement, that's all."Derek said, forcing a smile. "I'll talk to you later, Addison."He said, before whisking around the corner.

* * *

The knock came at the door as Meredith was feeding Elizabeth her lunch. Sighing, Meredith grabbed a Kleenex, and as best as she could she trudged to the door. Opening it, she saw an official looking man standing before her. "Yes?" 

"Meredith Grey?"He asked, producing a box.

"Who are-"

"I need you to sign this...I'm acting on behalf of Renee' Perkins."He said, asking her to sign a paper, citing that she had recieved the box.

"What is this?...Wait, Perkins?...She was my mother's-"

"I know. I'm well aware of that. You see, I'm Ms. Perkins' attorney. She um...she passed away, and she stipulated that this box be given to you. Appartently the things inside belonged to your mother, and Ms.Perkins was holding on to them."

"Oh...thank...you?"Meredith asked, gingerly holding the box with her shaky hands. She shifted in to her hip as she signed the paper, after trying to read it through puffy eyes. "But I don't understand...Mr..."

"Right. I'm Carl Hernshaw...Attorney. Um, so basically, my client was your mother's caretaker. I realize that that was long ago, but-"

"Mister Hernshaw you said?...Could you-Could you come in?...There's coffee, and my daughter is...she's waiting. I think this could take a while, and it would probably be best if we talked inside."Carefully, Meredith cradled the box, stepping aside to let Carl Hernshaw in.

* * *

"Shepherd-"Burke said, running after Derek. 

Derek turned, close to the elevators. "Yes?"

"You're about to leave. I just..."

"Meredith."Derek said, knowing what it was about. "I don't know what happened. Well, I do now, but I've been in the dark for so long, so I doubt I could give you the answer you're looking for."

Burke shook his head, noting his colleague's bitterness. "I was actually planning on congratulating you on the surgery you performed earlier. I know that it was an emergency, and you've had a lot on your plate lately."

"I'm fine."Derek insisted.

"Shepherd-"Burke said, pulling him off to the side. "Something happened, and while I am the Chief of surgery, and I realize that whatever happened probably isn't surgery related, I need you to know that if you have any problems, it's safe to come to me."

Derek offered a smile, thankful at Burke's admittance. "Thanks, Chief. Burke. Um...I have to get home, you know. Duty calls."

"You're a family man now, I get that. And hey, last night was fun. Maybe sometime in the future the four of us could get together for another round of cards?...I know you're busy, so just say when."

Derek nodded, waving his hand. "Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, Burke."

He headed for the elevator, eyes sullen. Derek was dreading the conversation he would be having, but he knew that it needed to happen. So partially wet due to the rain, once he got into the car, he headed to Meredith's, hoping it wouldn't be too hard.

* * *

Meredith sat, holding on to her coffee cup for dear life. She fought back the tears that brimmed her eyelids. She had just put Elizabeth down for a nap, so she took the time to work up the courage to open the box that Perkins' attorney had left. 

At first it wasn't hard. A few notes here and there on pieces of paper, mostly Ellis' notes and such. They never really made sense, mostly dates, times and such, presumably made during the hallucinations that she was still a surgeon at Seattle Grace. Meredith found other pieces, like a cup that had Ellis' name etched on it. A few photographs were tucked safely inside a small manilla folder. Some of her mother, of herself, but the one that made her stop was one of Ellis, Richard and herself. For a moment it caused confusion, but for a brief moment, Meredith wondered how different life would have been had the picture stayed like that. Would she have been any happier?

What she found next was cause for confusion. Close to the bottom, tucked underneath a stack of birthday cards, was a partially yellowed envelope, nothing but the word _Meredith_ scribbled plain as day on the front. Frowning, Meredith held back a sneeze, feeling her throat threaten to close even further. Pulling it out, she found what resembled a letter. She knew from what Chief Webber had told her, and the doctors at the nursing home, that Ellis had a brief time of when she was lucid, just before she died. Looking around, Meredith nursed her coffee, before beginning to read.

_Meredith,_

_The doctors here have given me medicine, and I'm not sure how long this thing will last, but they said it would be best if I prepared myself now. They have tried explaining things to me that right now do not make much sense._

_How did this happen? How did I let so much time pass by without talking to you, letting years slip by? I hear that you are an intern at Seattle Grace now. Richard stopped by with the information, but I couldn't help but wish that you would come. I need to see you before this ends. I have Alhzeimer's, and the nurses say that my chances of living that much longer aren't that good. Why does this have to be so hard?_

_It would be so much better to say goodbye if I actually knew everything. So I'm not going to give you this. In fact, I'm going to do the exact opposite. I'm giving this to the woman that they tell me has taken care of me for a while now, perhaps she will know what to do with it. You aren't here, Meredith. Why? Was I not important to you? I know the importance of being a doctor, I know that it is indeed possible that you are stuck in a surgery, especially with that surgeon you're seeing._

_I know, Meredith. Richard didn't explain everything, but he had a look on his face when he mentioned Derek Shepherd. I have to say that it wasn't what I expected, Meredith. I gave up so much of my life to be a surgeon, to work as a doctor because it was what I wanted to do. If you want this, Meredith...you have to sacrifice. There will be none of this love that you think you feel, because you have to understand that a truly successful surgeon always puts their patients first. Well, my hand is growing tired, and they are coming again. I don't like this at all, Meredith. As my daughter you allow them to treat me like this? I expected better, Meredith, but I know that you, like me, have priorities. Was I ever one of them?_

_Hoping to see you,_

_Ellis Grey_

With shaking hands, Meredith folded the letter, placing it back in the envelope. Suddenly, and perhaps by impulse, Meredith wanted the attorney to be there again, to just hand him the box and to forget all about it. She wanted to go back to being sick and lounging on the couch. Meredith wanted to take care of her daughter, wanted to forget that she had ever even read the letter. She needed that.

Meredith stared defiantly at her coffee cup, suddenly not having the strength to lift it to her lips. She knew her mother had a period in which she was lucid for a small amount of time, but unfortunately by the time Meredith arrived, she was too late. Hearing a knock on the door, Meredith didn't want to answer. Suddenly it was as if she had been pushed back, back to a time when none of this made sense.

She heard the voices of Izzie and Derek out in the hall, and felt herself cringe, knowing it had been Izzie who let him in.

"Meredith?"She heard Izzie call up the stairs.

Out of the corner of her eye, Meredith saw a figure standing in the doorway of the kitchen. It was then that Meredoth realized she was crying. Shaking her head, she felt Derek move a chair, moving it closer to her. She felt his hand cover hers, carefully studying her expression, all the while not saying a word.

"My mother wrote me a letter."Meredith said, carefully cracking the silence.

Derek nodded, face solemn. He glanced over at the box on the table. "Is that-"

Meredoth nodded, slamming her eyes shut. She felt herself crumble, locking her fingers tightly around the envelope. "Her...My mother's...doctor's..attorney. He-He came...he said that everything my mother gave to her was in that box, but she didn't want any of it given to me. Of course I left town before anyone had the chance, anyway..."

Izzie appeared in the doorway, but quickly walked out, sensing that they needed a moment.

"Meredith-"Derek said, reaching foward to brush away her tears.

"Stop, Derek!"Meredith spat. "I know that you're mad. I checked my phone, and I saw the three missed calls...all of them from you. I know you want an explanation as to why I kept your daughter from you, but right now I can't give you that. I just-I need a moment-"

Meredith stood, bolting towards the doorway.

"Meredith, wait!"Derek said, pulling her into his arms. He struggled to hold her, struggled to take away her pain. Derek wanted to tell her he wasn't mad anymore, that he had thought about it, but seeing her like she was, so fragile and it pain, as strong as Derek was he couldn't hold her.

"Are you gonna follow her?"Izzie asked, standing in the doorway of the living room.

Derek sighed, knowing it would probably be best to give her time, but knowing at the same time that if he did, something bad was bound to happen. "I have to. But I can't-"

"Derek-"

"No, Izzie. If Meredith wants to go off and sulk somewhere, then I have to let her do it. You saw how she was just now."Derek defended.

Izzie walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Do you love her?"

"What?"

"Meredith. Do you...love Meredith?"

"Yes."Derek replied without hesitation.

"Then you have to be willing to let all of this go. Don't worry about offending her by following her. If anything, it'll show her how much you care. I know that your daughter is here, okay? But the both of you have off tomorrow for that trip to get her stuff, and if she isn't feeling well, or if she's missing then she won't be able to go. Meredith is still the same person she was two years ago, Derek. Yeah, she may have changed...she may have a daughter, but the fact still remains that she gets upset, and when she's upset, she cries, when she cries she either goes to get drunk, or goes to be alone. So you..."Izzie said, pushing him to the door. "Have to go find her. And just...call...if you find her. If I don't hear from you within the hour, I'm calling Alex, and I'll be forced to send him after the both of you. We are supposed to have a date tonight, and you really don't wanna mess that up. Now go."

Derek, fumbling with his keys, climbed into his car. He sighed, turning it on. He saw Izzie standing in the doorway, and he couldn't help but feel an emotion that was tearing at his heart. Meredith had gone missing, and it was partially his fault. Turning the corner, Derek had to find her.-Whether Meredith wanted to be found or not.

* * *

**Okay, so yes, dark and twisty Meredith returns...but I swear I know where I am going with this! And not just the MerDer of it all, the Azzie too, did you pick up on that?...This is my favorite chapter I've written yet, as I had the letter planned since the beginning, there is so much I want to discuss, but I can't right now. I am so sorry for the length...it's like 3,000 words!...But it needed to be said, without being split into two chapters. Reviews are greatly appreciated, I worked so hard on this one. Thank you so much for reading!**


	19. Good To Go

**Author's Note: Thanks so much to those who read and reviewed the last chapter. I got some mixed feelings from some people saying that Derek is being beat up by all of this, when Mer is the one who ran in the first place. The truth is that I'm not trying to make it out that way. I know we've hit a rough patch/an emotional point in this story, but it's important that this story takes its time, and doesn't really reach 'cheese'...because that's not what I write.**

**Anyway, I'll let you have the chapter now, but I just wanted to say that. We see a bit of that trip to Cali in this chapter, but the most of this is Mer/Der. Enjoy!**

* * *

Derek turned the corner, letting out a sigh. He checked the trailer. He checked Joe's. He even went back to the hospital, and there was still no sign of Meredith. His hands gripped the steering wheel, determined to find her. Checking his cell phone at the light, Derek felt a glimmer of hope rise within, praying that he would find a message from Meredith. He dialed the house, checking up on Elizabeth. 

Izzie told him that she was fine, and that he'd find her soon. He just had to believe that.

A sick feeling washed over him when he remembered what Meredith had said before she stormed out. Ellis had left her a letter, and while Derek knew it had upset her, he didn't know how much. He slowed down, watching for any sign of her as he drove past the graveyard, but didn't see a car, so he continued on.

The radio was on, but Derek managed to down it out, constantly coming forth with thoughts of where Meredith had to be. It was raining, so that eliminated most places. And she had Elizabeth, and Derek knew that that meant she wouldn't go far. Swallowing, he continued to drive, the thought crossing his mind. That was it. It was the only other place she would be.

* * *

Meredith gripped her purse in her hands, staring blankly at the water. The rain had slowed down now, but still blanketed her in a mist. The letter was tucked inside her purse, and at the moment it was all that she could think about. Her mother. She was lucid, and she didn't have the chance to speak with her. Not that it would have made a difference, because it would have ended badly with Ellis being disappointed in her either way. 

She knew Derek was worried, and Izzie would be, too. By now she was sure they had both tried calling her, but she shut her phone off. Meredith needed to think, needed to realize what was happening. Her and Derek were finally becoming happy again, and then a Seattle storm got her upset. It was only right that Derek knew about the accident that she and their daughter were involved in, but when he was quiet and barely said anything-Meredith hadn't anticipated that.

"You're sick...you shouldn't be sitting out in the rain."Derek said, sitting on the bench next to her. He was quiet for a minute, waiting for her to speak. When she didn't he sighed, leaning towards her. "Ferryboats, huh?"

She cracked a smile, nodding slowly.

Derek laughed, wiping the droplets from his face. "I can take you home."

"But my car is here."Meredith said flatly, watching the ripples on the water.

He placed his hand on her back, rubbing small circles. "I can bring you back tomorrow before you head down..."

"Derek."She said, turning her head. "How did you know where to find me?"

"I didn't. I went to the hosiptal...to Joe's. I called your phone...I don't even know how many times. I even drove by the.."Derek's voice caught in his throat, studying Meredith's frail frame. "Seriously, Mer..you were out sick today, and you can't afford to miss the trip tomorrow. Let me...let me take you home. Or if you want we can go to the trailer."

Meredith smiled a little, shaking her head. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"Derek asked, frowning.

"I left the house without giving a real reason. I just-I know my mother is dead. I've moved on-I've accepted it. It's been two years, Derek...and all of a sudden this lawyer just shows up on my doorstep with a box of my mother's things, saying that the woman who took care of her died?...And then I read her letter...and it just-"Meredith paused, tears stinging her eyes. "It got me to thinking."

Derek nodded, feeling the lump in his throat. "About what?"

"My mother didn't know I was pregnant. She didn't know I was going to have her grandchild."Meredith said, her eyes brimming with sadness. As she stared at Derek, she watched the concerned, gruff look on his face. "You didn't know then either, but..."She stopped, taking a deep breath. "It's not like it would have mattered anyway, right? She would have just seen it as another mark on her long list of disappointments."

"Mer-"Derek stopped, at a loss for words. He wanted to take her into his arms and promise her that everything would be okay. That in the end, she wouldn't feel the pain she was experiencing anymore.

They sat in silence for a long moment, both occupied with their own thoughts. Derek gripped Meredith's hand, pulling her up to stand.

"Derek?"Meredith said, her eyes raising questions.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, breathing in the scent of her. Derek felt her sobs as their tears mixed with the rain. "It's gonna be okay, Mer."

"You don't know that, Derek. You do not know that. And how can you-I mean after what I said last night..."

Derek stiffened a little at the memory, but still shook his head. He lifted her head from his chest, staring with his intensely blue eyes into hers. "I wish you would have told me. I really, really wish that you would have. But there's nothing that we can do to change what happened. We're here now, Meredith. We are both here...our daughter is here. What happened-we can't change it Meredith...but we can move on."

Meredith nodded, wiping at her eyes. "So you can bring me back tomorrow to get the car?"

Closing his eyes, Derek nodded. He wrapped his arms around her, leading her to the parking lot. He grabbed the carseat from the back of Meredith's car, placing it in his just incase.

* * *

Meredith stared at Elizabeth sleeping soundly, smiling as she stroked her cheek. She felt Derek's arms wrap tightly around her, and for a moment, Meredith felt her perfect family begin to form again. But when Derek cleared his throat with a sense of finality, she knew it wouldn't happen that way. 

"Well, I'll pick you up early tomorrow...do you want me to call you?"

She caught his wrist as it was pulled from him. Turning towards him, Meredith placed her hand on his shoulder. "Do you-Could you stay tonight? I mean if you think about it, it would-"

"Yes."

"But-"

Derek nodded, his eyes shining. "Meredith. I wanna stay."

"Okay."Meredith replied, feeling safer than she had all day.

"Okay."

* * *

Derek woke up the next morning, holding Meredith in his arms. He smelled coffee and bacon filtering up the stairs, and knew they had an interesting day ahead of them. At the moment, the sun had yet to rise. Meredith wanted to leave early so she could get back in time for work the following day. 

"Meredith..."He whispered in her ear.

"Hmm?...Oh."Meredith said, the realization hitting her. She knew she should get up, but all she could focus on was the way Derek was breathing, perfectly in tune with her. It made her feel safe.

"We need to get up soon if we're gonna get out on the road."Derek replied, pulling her closer to him.

"We?"Meredith muttered, attempting to rid herself of the blanket covering her.

Derek shrugged, smiling. "I figured you would want me to come...but I don't have to."

"You need time with your daughter...It'll be fine, Derek."Meredith said, standing. When she did she saw that ELizabeth had woken up as well. She had pulled herself into a standing position in her crib, her wobbly legs swaying foward and backwards. "Morning, babygirl."

Pulling their daughter into her arms, Meredith sighed in content. While the effects of the previous day still weighed heavily on her, she knew full well that they would talk about them in due time when the sun came up. She could already tell by the way Derek was poised on the bed that he would be there ready to talk, but for once was going to let her start it.

"I'll be in the shower...can you take her downstairs?"Meredith asked as Derek stood.

"Sure thing."He replied with a smile. For a moment he thought about a kiss, because it seemed like the natural action after what had happened, but he knew that Meredith wasn't ready-yet.

* * *

Wrapping her hair in a towel, Meredith walked to the mirror, pulling the towel close to her pale, clammy skin. Wiping the fog off of the mirror, she coughed, blowing her nose. Her head felt a little dizzy, and takinga few deep breaths, she figured she would take more cold medicine before heading out on the road.

When Meredith made her way downstairs, she was greeted by Izzie handing her a glass of orange juice, and the sound of Derek and George laughing at the table.

"And what is so funny?"She asked, sitting in the chair next to Derek.

"Elizabeth...she doesn't like peaches, does she?..I was...I mean, it was only a small piece, but-"

"She doesn't like peaches."Meredith replied, offering him a smile.

Derek laughed, wiping a strand of hair out of her face. He was about to lean in when he heard Izzie clear her throat.

She placed a plate in front of Meredith, scooping two pancakes onto the plate. "You have to eat...I'm not going to have you eating on all junk food and McDonald's today. Okay?...So just eat up."

"A little bossy today, Iz?"George asked, picking up a piece of bacon from his plate.

"Well, Meredith needs her food. She was sick yesterday, and she's still kind of feeling bad...she needs to eat to keep up her energy. Oh, and I packed a basket for you guys...muffins, biscuits...a couple pieces of fruit for an even mix. You'll get it before you leave."

George took a bite of eggs, nodding. "So when's Cristina getting here?...I thought she was supposed to be coiming with us."

"She's not coming."Derek replied, tentatively studying Meredith's reaction. "But I am...if you want me to."

"Derek...what about-"

"You...me...Elizabeth. And you know, George. We can keep her entertained. We can have driving shifts. Please, Mer-"

"You didn't...You never told me. You don't have any clothes."

"Oh...by the way, the dryer's done."Izzie piped up, watching as Alex made his way into the kitchen. "Morning.."She said, kissing him. "Muffin?"

"They gets eggs and pancakes and I get muffins?...How is that fair?"

She smiled, handing him a plate. "But don't expect that every morning. It was supposed to be their travel breakfast."

* * *

Derek turned to the backseat, watching as Meredith laughed at Elizabeth, handing her a stuffed toy. "Everybody buckled up back there?"

"We're all safe back here."Meredith replied.

"George?"

"Um...I'm good."

Derek turned to start the car. "Okay then...looks like we're good to go."


	20. Flirting With the Line

**Author's Note: I know it has been a while. A long while at that, and for this I am sorry...but FFN has been having alerting issues, and I guess that I wanted to be sure that those who wanted to read this got the chace to read it. We've got a few more chapters here-five at the least probably, because there is still some stuff to get through. But I really like this chapter, and while there are ovbiously other characters involved, most of it is MerLizaDer...not good?...Anyway...please, PLEASE let me know what you think. What you like, what you don't like..if you're confused...reviews, as always, are love!**

* * *

Meredith cut the end of the tape, smoothing it on top of the box.. Standing up, she took a look around the room-Elizabeth's room. She remembered the first time she came home with her. Meredith remembered how strangely calm it felt, to just have her there. At night she would stand in front of her crib, memorizing every little thing about her. Elizabeth became her pride and joy, her reason to get up in the morning. Still, as days wore on, it became increasingly clear that she was indeed Derek's daughter. Meredith recalled a time when Elizabeth was younger in which they had been in the car when a song from The Clash came on the radio. Elizabeth may have been a baby, but when Meredith changed the station, Elizabeth began to fuss in her car seat. 

Laughing at the memory, Meredith took the sharpie out of her pocket, scribbling 'Elizabeth's Room' on the top.

"Need some help?"George asked, standing in the doorway.

"Um, no, I have this one."Meredith said, picking it up. "But can you get the chair?...It's been here ever since she was."Meredith replied.

George nodded in acceptance. "So Derek is out by the U-Haul...he is um...he's talking to Elizabeth about cars."

"What?...Seriously? She can barely understand the difference between peas and green beans let alone..."Meredith paused, watching the smile on his face. "Why are you smiling?"

"Nothing."He said, moving towards the rocking chair, the only remaining piece of furniture in the room. "But you and Derek seem to be different now. Happy."

Meredoth shrugged, shifting the box as carefully as she could to her hip. "Yeah. I guess we are. I'm gonna go take this out there."

Derek was walking up the step when he saw her coming. "Hey. Is that it?"

"Just about. What's this I hear about you talking to Elizabeth about cars and stuff, huh? She's not even-"

"Easy, Mer. I wasn't talking to her about _cars. _I was explaining to her why we are putting everything in the truck, and where we're going. We're going back home."Derek said, holding on to Elizabeth's hand as she wobbled.

"Truck go Vroom."Elizabeth said proudly, as if it were something new.

"Well..yes, it does-"

"Ow!"

Meredith laughed, turning towards the house. "George?...George, are you okay?"She asked.

"I'm-Um...yeah. The chair kind of...nevermind, I'm fine."He said from inside.

Derek shook his head, grinning. "Okay then, I take that as a sign he needs help?"

"He's George, Derek...I'm sure he can handle it...Yeah, just go see."Meredith laughed, watching him go inside.

After a visit from Teresa, and a guarantee that they would keep in touch, Meredith did one more check of the house and then walked back out to George, Derek and Elizabeth. It was agreed upon that George would drive the U-Haul, while Derek would drive the car back. They had a long way to go, but all three thought that if they drove, they would get back that night, though it would be late.

* * *

In the car, an old Phil Collins song filtered through on low volume, Meredith leaning her forehead against the window.

"So...how does it feel?"Derek asked, a smile on his face.

She shrugged, turning towards him. "How does what feel?"

"That you're finally moved out? That all of your things will be in Seattle?"

"Oh. Um...It feels good. It feels like I belong, I guess."Meredith said, looking at Elizabeth in the backseat. She was playing with a stuffed dog that Derek had bought her, and currently seemed intent on flapping its ears. "So this house...how is it coming along?"

Derek shrugged, sighing. "We're still in talks and stuff. Still though, I'm getting a team together...architect and others to make sure it's the best."

"Because you won't settle for less?"

"Of course not."Derek said arrogantly.

Meredith laughed, shaking her head. She took a sip from a bottle of water, twisting the cap back on. Life was good with all of them and somehow, with just the three of them in the car, it felt good. It felt like a family. "So-thanks for taking off today. I know that it's...it's a big deal."

"It is a big deal."Derek said, sensing that she was trying to ask a question. "But I wanted to come, Mer. Spending time with you...our daughter. And the of course, there is George."

She laughed, shaking her head. "He hasn't changed a bit."

"I guess not. Meredith, about the house-"Derek said, focusing on the road. "Well, what do you think?"

"What do you mean?"Meredith asked.

"I know that we've talked about it before, but that was when we could be interupted. You're comfortable with the idea?"He asked. It wasn't because he felt paranoid, but Derek felt a need for confirmation. He knew that they were both reaching a point, and he need to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

Trying to find the right words, Meredith combed her fingers through her hair. "I think it sounds great. I just think that we should take the time while it's still in the planning stages."

"You're asking me out?"He asked, grinning.

"You're flirting with me?"Meredith asked with a laugh.

"Would that...be a problem?"He knew that they were crossing a line. Derek thought of the day before, how scared and troubled Meredith seemed. He remembered how it felt, holding her while she was shaking. While he didn't say anything, it was clear that something has changed with them that night. Their relationship crossed a line, and if they kept going the way they were going, they would cross another.

"Of course not, why would you think that? Derek, I-"Her statement was interrupted by her cell phone ringing. "George..."She grumbled. "Yeah?...Okay, um..let me ask him..."She covered the phone with her hand. "George wants to know where we can stop and eat."She said. "He's hungry."

Derek nodded, finding the moment ironic. "There's a deli up here, see?"

Meredith nodded, telling George where they were headed. She pretended she didn't notice the way Derek has tensed up.

* * *

By the time Meredith and Derek returned home, all of the lights were turned off, and from the looks of things, everyone was asleep. It was eerily early in the morning, so George stayed out on the couch, rather than driving home. He swore that everything was fine between he and Callie, though. Meredith carried Elizabeth upstairs, laying her down in her bed. Derek went to take a shower, trying his best to stay quiet.

When he got out, her heard something-a mumbling-coming from Meredith's room. Opening the door, he saw Meredith standing by the window, cradling Elizabeth in her arms. "Hey.."He whispered. "Everything okay?"

"I don't know."Meredith said as Derek shut the door. "I laid her down. and then just as I went under the comforter, she started fussing."

"Aww.."Derek said, kissing Elizabeth's forehead. "Mmm, she feels warm."

"She can't be running a fever..."Meredith muttered. "Elizabeth, baby...what's wrong? Come on, tell mommy..."She knew she'd only get a few words, if even that. But still, a few words were better than nothing.

They stood there, silent. The only sound in the room was Elizabeth's slowly dulling crying. Derek wrapped his arms tightly around the both of them, sighing. He settled his chin on Meredith's shoulder, knowing that things would get better. "We could keep her in the bed tonight. Just in case."He said, figuring it would be the only way to get Meredith to lie down.

Meredith turned towards him, a smile visible. "You're always full of the best ideas." And with that, she gave him a kiss, and they layed down to sleep-Elizabeth safely tucked between them.


	21. Back to Basics

**Author's Note: So is it just me, or am I not the only one fed up with MerDer lately? I mean, Derek was only trying to help Mer...and she keeps pushing him away. On the other hand...the preview??...Derek knows what Mer is like. She should be worried? Anyway, before the onslaught of post season fic, I'd like to get this done. Because well...This was originally a post season two fic. And this season it's been like a therapy for me. So...with that said-here is the next chapter. Reviews are great...but LONG, detailed reviews are even better...so...please?**

* * *

Three weeks had passed slowly, everyone finding their own way back to normal. Elizabeth continued to go to daycare, and in the evening either Derek or Meredith would pick her up. They had an arrangement that they slowly began-Derek on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays and Meredith on Tuesdays and Fridays. They decorated George's old room and made it Elizabeth's. For the time being, until the house was built.

On most nights Derek stayed at the house with them, eating whatever it was Izzie had managed to cook. Alex would come in the kitchen, as would Meredith and they would all eat around the table. It became their thing-like a family. Some nights Cristina and Preston would come by as well, though Cristina spent half the time searching for tequila. The first few times. But after she was convinced that Meredith now kept the house clean, she learned to live with it.

* * *

Meredith sat in Elizabeth's room, watching peacefully as she slept. She heard footsteps behind her and expected to see Derek. But as she turned, she realized that instead it was Izzie standing in the doorway. "Hey, Iz. You and Alex are home early."She added with a smirk.

"Well, kind of."Izzie stated dismissively. "Alex, um...he kind of hit a guy while we were at Joe's."

"Alex hit somebody?"Meredith asked, walking towards her.

"It's a long story involving the fact that a guy who had the equivalent of almost a bottle of the hard stuff in him, attempted to pick me up."

"And I take that it didn't end well?"Meredith asked.

Izzie shrugged, laughing.

"Did you see Derek on your way in by any chance?"Meredith asked, curious. He was supposed to come upstairs, but when he hadn't followed her, Meredith figured he must have had a good reason.

"Yeah-"Izzie mused. "He's sprawled out on the couch. Asleep, I guess. Anyway, I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?"

Meredith nodded, watching as Alex slipped in their room. After Izzie left, she took a look at Elizabeth before heading downstairs. She couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Derek-half on, half off the couch. "Derek-"She called quietly. "Hey, Derek..."

Derek's hands reached up, wiping the tired from his eyes. "Hey..."He said, pushing himself into a sitting position. He spotted the cordless phone on the floor, and reached to place it back on the table.

"You okay?"Meredith asked, sitting next to him.

"I've been arguing with the contractor. Well, I was. I've gotta go down to his office tomorrow. We're finally gonna actually start the work on the house."

Meredith smiled, knowing that it was a good thing. "But you fell asleep."

Derek stared back at the throw pillow that formerly cradled his head. "Yeah, sorry about that. I was trying to get comfortable...we were on the phone for a little while."

Tilting her head on his shoulder, Meredith grabbed his hand in hers. "We should go out tomorrow."

"What?"Derek asked, puzzled by her suddenly bringing the topic up.

"Yeah. I mean, come on. You've been talking and talking about this house...about the building. You've got groundwork already. Let the workers do the work...whatever. Tomorrow night...no phone calls. No contracts sprawled across the couch. Just you and me, and Elizabeth."Meredith suggested, looking into his eyes.

Contemplating, Derek finally nodded. "That sounds like a good idea."

"And no talking about it either."

"Mer-"

"No Derek, I'm being serious here."Meredith said. She knew that he needed it-the distraction. He had been so caught up in the actual process of getting the house built that he had grown so tired at night, without even going to bed.

Derek's eyes shined, a smirk playing on his lips. "Okay."

"Seriously?"Meredith asked, wanting to make sure.

He nodded.

"Okay."

Derek laughed a little, leaning in to kiss her. He let his lips linger, pulling her closer. His fingers intertwined in her dark blonde hair, getting tangled as his tongue found a way past her lips. Feeling Meredith conciously move closer to him, Derek let out a sound. A signal. He felt her nearly going limp against him, losing herself in them-in their kiss. In that moment he realized how badly he'd missed her. Getting so caught up at work, in surgeries. Calling the contractor on breaks. He missed Meredith.

Pulling back for air, Meredith's lips grew cold from the seperation. "Der...Derek."Meredith attempted to form a sentence, to just tell him. To say something that would console him, to let him know.

His mouth moved towards hers, but as Meredith edged back a little, Derek frowned. Until he saw the look in her eyes. It was one of understanding. Of acceptance, of readiness. He pulled her to her feet without breaking eye contact.

"But she's...she'll be-"

"In her room. In her own room."Derek replied to Meredith's unfinished sentence. "But only if you.."

Meredith covered his lips with hers, her own answer.

As they fumbled their way upstairs, they knew they were doing what they needed to. What they wanted to. Derek shut the door behind them, praying that for that night, for that little while, everything would go their way. His hands found the hem of her shirt, eagerly tugging. Before long, Meredith's pale skin glistened in the moonlight.

* * *

The next morning Meredith awoke, the weight of Derek's arm tightly wrapped around her. She looked over at his face and for the first time in days didn't see a single sign of stress. He seemed happy, content even.

Derek's eyes fluttered open to find Meredith watching him. "Morning."He whispered harshly, the morning sunlight greeting him.

"Good morning."

He kissed her, letting his lips linger a moment. "So where exactly are we going tonight?"He asked, planting a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"I don't know. I didn't think about the actual place, more so the actual thing."

"Thing?"

"The dinner. The family."Meredith replied.

Derek nodded, propping himself up with his elbow. "I love you, Meredith."

Meredith nodded, her hair ruffling against the pillow. "I love you, too."

* * *

The day went by, each occupied with their work. Derek had a surgery in the late morning-one in which Meredith didn't take part in, but did choose to watch a part of from the gallery. Meredith ate her lunch with Izzie, George, Alex and Cristina, while Derek spoke with Preston.

The dinner came, a small diner a few blocks from the house. To anyone else, looking in on them they might have thought that they were the perfect picture of family. A mother, father, and daughter. The daughter was still a baby, so they were just beginning. They were a happy couple. A happy _married _couple. To anyone who might have looked in.

And that thought didn't escape Derek's mind easily. As he reached across the table, rubbing her palm with his thumb, a smile spread across his face. "So...do you know what you're going to order?"He asked.

"Well, I would, but-"Meredith watched as Elizabeth's toy fell to the floor. She leaned down to pick it up, placing the stuffed bear back on Elizabeth's highchair. "That."

"Ah...of course. Use that as an excuse."Derek teased, grinning.

The waitress came, taking their orders. When she left, Elizabeth scribbled on a piece of paper, seemingly particularly focused on the color blue.

"You see that-"Derek said, pointing to her hand. "She's focused. Precise-"

"Der-"

"No, No...I'm serious. I think we may have a future surgeon on our hands."He said, smiling. He shrugged, playing it off like nothing. "But what do I know?"

"You know your daughter...and apparently have her future planned. So you must know something..."Meredith said.

A few minutes later, their food came and they ate. As a family. When they were done, Derek wiped off the spaghetti sauce from around her mouth, saying that she was just like him...he really enjoyed his food. As they left, Elizabeth walked between them, holding one hand from each of them. While she stumbled a little, her feet walked along the sidewalk proudly until they got to Derek's car.

"So that was fun."Meredith said as Derek started the car."

He looked over nodding. "Yeah. Anything else?"

"We could go home...watch a movie."Meredith suggested. "After we get the munchkin to bed."

Derek laughed, shaking his head. "Which could take a while."

"I'm sure you can find something to amuse yourself while we wait. Alex and Izzie have been holding nightly card games lately...maybe you could join in."She said.

"Good to know. I'll have to take that into consideration."

* * *

They watched a movie that night, Meredith falling asleep against his shoulder. When she woke up on the couch the next morning, she didn't feel too surprised-save for the fact that Derek wasn't there. But as she sat up, she saw the note on the table next to a cup of coffee.

_Mer-_

_hey...sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up. The hospital called about one of my patients, so I had to go in early. I'll see you at work though, so see you later. I had a lot of fun last night, Mer...can't wait to do something like that again. Elizabeth was fussing when I woke up, I think she has a cold. But don't worry, she's fine. Gotta go..._

_Love, Derek_

_P.S. Izzie was rambling about something Alex did this morning...so be careful. I love you._

Setting the note down, Meredith picked up the cup of coffee. Things were normal, and for the time being, Meredith was content with it. Her and Derek were living their life, building a relationship with their daughter. From what she could hear, Izzie was arguing with Alex about one of her sweaters, and how it had stained when he threw in his red tank shirt. She was sure that when she got to work Cristina would be complaining about the interns, and how they rambled on and on, and were completely competitive about everything-nothing like they were though, of course. Resting her feet on the coffee table, Meredith decided that life was good. A little dramatic, but good none the less. She liked it that way.


	22. Just Breathe

**Author's Note: Now that the dust has settled, I'd like to clear up any ends/questions with this story. What will happen in these next few chapters...It's kind of necessary in way, due to Mer's character, and for the bond between Derek and her. I knew it was coming and well-anyway, I won't give anything away, but I think the end result will work out just fine. Reviews are amazing, as you all know...so please read, and review!**

* * *

Two weeks had flown by in Seattle. Two weeks of growing, of learning, and of slowly inching towards the goal of the house. Meredith and Derek had a routine, one that they tried their best to follow. Since they left California and come back, Derek had stayed at the house every night, taking care of Elizabeth with Meredith at his side. There were times when Derek would come home late to find Meredith and Izzie watching a movie, Elizabeth fast asleep between them. He would take her in his arms, cradling her until she got upstairs. Meredith would follow suit, taking care in folding the blanket up around her.

Life wasn't perfect, though. They'd had an argument or two-like when Derek has invited Addison and Mark to a party Meredith had planned for her and her friends. It wasn't that she wasn't comfortable around them, but everytime they were all together, she felt she was being judged in a way for keeping Elizabeth from Derek for so long.

It happened on a saturday morning. Izzie was at the kitchen island drinking coffee when Meredith trudged in. "Muffins are in the oven if you can wait."She said.

Meredith walked to the cabinet, pulling out a glass. As she walkedto the fridge to get some juice, she noticed the way Izzie watched her, like she knew something was up. "I got a call early this morning."

"Oh."Izzie said, setting her mug down. "Anything interesting?"

"My friend in California, Teresa...her mom died."Meredith stated bleakly. "And I know that I have a job here, that I have a life here, but-"

"You wanna go back to help her out?"Izzie asked. "Do it. Mer, you need to figure out what it is that you've been...looking for. Teresa is your friend, and yeah, I might not know her..but obviously she meant something to you. Just ask Burke-"

"That's the thing."Meredith interjected. "There was the day I took off to go down there before, it may have been a few weeks ago...but I just...I can't leave Derek and Elizabeth like this."

Izzie nodded, forming the words in her head. "What exactly is it that you want, Meredith? I mean, you keep going on and on about this family life that you're building with Derek, but..."Izzie said, shrugging. "Do you even have any input? Do you...actually state your opinion on things?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"Meredith asked.

"All I'm saying is that it wouldn't hurt if you'd you know..do what _you_ want to do every once in a while. You haven't gone out since you got back. Minus last wednesday. Look, Mer...I know that it'll be a sad trip. Okay, I get that. But your friend needs you."Izzie's eyes drifted to the clock, finding herself wishing that time would move faster.

Meredith sighed, reaching across the counter to pull Izzie's hand towards her. "I know what I sound like, Iz...but the woman was like a mother to me when I was down there. She-She helped me out a lot when I was pregnant with Elizabeth."

"More than your friends could have been, of course."Izzie muttered into her coffee.

"No. I know you guys could have helped me. But Izzie...at the time, you were so hurt, and still grieving over Denny. Okay? You..You..."Meredith fought to find words, searching hopelessly to find something to console her. "I'm sorry."

She shrugged, staring straight at her. "You did what you had to do, I did what I had to do. I leaned on Alex and George, and for a change, even Cristina for support. We all banded together to help each other. And for the record, Mer...we would have helped you, too."

The timer sounded, a signal to Izzie that the muffins were done. She slid off of her stool, walking to the over to take them out. Meredith sat at the counter, trying desperately to figure out what to do. She loved Derek. She loved him as she loved their daughter. And she knew that no matter what happened, she'd have them as well as her friends. But still-the way her friend had sounded. The way she sounded-so scared and alone-Meredith knew that feeling.

* * *

Derek rounded the corner at Seattle Grace to find Addison, Meredith and Burke talking in the hall. He had been on his way to the lab, in a sense to check out labs, but finding them-the way there were-roused his curiousity. He waited until Burke walked away to approach. "What's...going on here?"

"Derek..."Meredith said, almost dreading the moment.

"What happened? Is everything okay?"Derek asked. He watched as Addison and Meredith excahnged glances, both silently agreeing that he deserved to know.

"Everything's fine, Derek. Well, actually...a woman down in California, she just...she's having triplets, two of which they have already determined will be born with defects, possibly severe. They're at a point now in which they want to operate."Addison said.

"And what? They requested you?"Derek asked, fitting the pieces together as she nodded. "What do you have to do with all of this?"He asked Meredith.

Meredith bit her lip, knowing it would have been easier had she just told him sooner. "I need to go down. There is a...funeral...that I have to go to, and as I was speaking with Chief Burke, he got the call. As he called Addison into his office...I just...I want to go. Not only is it something I need to do, we're talking about a medical case. Saving lives."

Derek nodded slowly, processing the information in his mind. "So...you were wanting to go, anyway?"

"Derek, with all due respect-"Addison interjected.

Reaching her hand out, Meredith stopped her. "Listen, I know that things are going well with the plans. Don't take this as me running, because that isn't it at all. In fact, Addison requested me, so...I'll be going down with her for the time being. I'll be back in a few days."

"A few days..."He fumed. "What about Elizabeth, Mer? Does she factor into this, too?"

"We are talking about two, three days. I know that you think you have this...hold.."Meredith knew she didn't want the last conversation with him for a few days to end in a fight, but she felt the need to assert her position. "I have to go..we have to go...the-the plane is waiting to fly us down. I love you, Derek."With that, Meredith gave him a quick hug and kiss good bye.

* * *

"Hey-"Addison said, once they were on the plane. "You're kind of quiet."

Meredith shrugged, sighing. "I don't know."

"You're wondering if you made a mistake by coming with?"She asked. "Meredith, I know that we...we were never really..friends. But I know that you love him. That you love your daughter. And I know that Derek loves you. I can see it in his eyes anytime he talks about you. I never really understood the bond you two had...but it's something special. Just-"Addison offered with a smile. "take the time, you know?"

"That's what I'm trying to do. I just didn't expect it to be this hard."She said.

"Noone ever does."Addison replied. "Honestly, when I picked you, I didn't know that you were wanting to travel down anyway. So, you do need to realize that this is a business trip. However, if your friend needs you-"

"I know. But I'm here to help. I'm here to...do what I can."She said, shrugging as she settled back into her seat. She looked out the window, watching as clouds drifted by. Derek was the one. Meredith knew that. Derek was the father of her child, the one she could lean on, the one who was always there, despite anything she had done. He loved her, and she loved him. Still, Meredith thought, it was good to breathe, right?


	23. Move on Through

**Author's Note: I really did mean to have this up before now, but sadly I've been busy, and I wanted the rest of this story to have a clear direction. So, I realize that I left the last chapter on sort of an 'iffy' cliffhanger. Basically, Scott, Tara and Theresa were Mer's friends when she lived in L.A.. It'll be explained a little bit more in this chapter and there is a little MerDer interaction...things will get better soon. Leave me a review, please..enjoy!**

* * *

Meredith stood alone, washing her hands. She stared out at the O.R., knowing fully that soon she'd be in there. Soon, she'd be assisting in operating on a baby. Triplets, actually. Addison had just finished with the delivery, and the two triplets that needed surgery would be rushed in as quickly as possible. Hearing the door open, she turned her head to see Addison. "Ready to go?"

"As soon as possible. The healthy triplet has been transferred to an incubator. She's healthy as far as her exams go. However, I'd like to monitor her for the next day or so to examine any possible unknown problems. Doctor Grey?"Addison asked as Meredith seemed distant. "Is something wrong?"

"No. Of course not..."Meredith insisted. "So which surgery would you like me on?"

"The problems are more severe on triplet two...baby James. I'll be in on his...I'd like you to assist me in OR 3. The health and surrounding issues on the third baby are still inconclusive, but what we know is that his are not as severe."

Knowning there was no time to lose as far as the surgeries were concerned, Meredith simply nodded, doing as she was told.

* * *

"I just don't get it, you know?...We're stuck here doing lab work, or participating in minor surgeries and such, and Mer gets flown off to California to assist in surgeries with Addison."Cristina whined at the lunch table. "Where's the justice?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"Izzie piped up in defense.

"I'm just saying...you'd think it would make sense if someone who was actually here longer, who stayed would have gone."She replied. She wasn't bitter, she had to remind herself that. Still, a part of her wondered if once Meredith was down there, if she'd want to stay.

"Addison requested her."Izzie informed her, taking a sip from her bottled water.

Cristina let out a sarcastic laugh. "What are the chances, huh? You'd think she'd pick you, what with you being all interested in neonatal work."

"What are you talking about?"Izzie protested.

"In the past week you've participated in three different surgeries...one involving a woman who was pregnant, and two involving babies. If that doesn't...point towards some want to be on the vagina squad then I don't know what will."Cristina bit back.

Alex smirked, setting his tray on the table. "I sense some tension here, ladies."

"Yeah, and you know you scrubbed in on a surgery that lasted what, four and a half hours this morning? So what are you complaining about?"Izzie retorted.

"I'm tired, cranky, and I just...Mer's supposed to be here, you know? Everytime we need her, she...leaves or whatever."Cristina replied, stabbing at her salad.

"Violence isn't the answer, Yang."Alex replied, grinning.

"You get that you're not helping, right?"Izzie asked him. As he smirked she laughed, looking away. At times it was hard to stay mad at him.

"I can try, right?"Alex replied as Izzie's pager went off.

"Ooh, gotta go...my patient needs me."And with that, Izzie left.

* * *

Derek leaned against the nurses' station, watching as Olivia worked. He cleared his throat, tapping his fingers nervousily in the counter.

Olivia looked up from the computer. "Can I help you, Doctor Shepherd?"She asked.

He looked up, somewhat surprised. "Help, oh...I was..I was just wondering if anyone left a message for me."He said, having just gotten out of surgery.

Olivia checked, then shook her head. "No, I'm sorry. Noone's left anything for you."

"Thanks."Derek replied, somewhat disappointed. "Just...have me paged if anyone calls."

He walked away, knowing it was no use. If Meredith wanted to call him, she would have called his cell phone, anyway. Still, he wanted to know. Something about the way she left-so abrupt-he knew that she needed to go down, that there was the surgery. Pressing the button for the elevator, Derek tried to tuck his thoughts away. Work was what he needed, and afterward he'd talk with the contractors, all the while making sure Elizabeth was fine.

If Meredith wanted to talk, Derek decided as he stepped into the elevator, she knew where to find him.

* * *

Leaning against the wall in the hallway, Meredith let out a sigh. Addison and she had gotten out ofsurgery minutes before, both knowing how close they had came. Still, as Addison spoke with the parents, she needed a moment to calm down. To just breathe, reviewing everything that had happened.

Once safe in the cafeteria, Meredith grabbed her phone, contemplating who to call. There was the matter of Theresa, but she already knew she'd be seeing her as well as Tara and Scott later. For the time being, she opened her bottled water, writing a text message she knew she had to write.

_Der-_

_Hope everything is okay. I'll call you later._

_Love, Mer_

As she pressed 'send', she knew she had to. She loved Derek, that much was already obvious. Meredith took a bite from her sandwich, setting her phone down on the table. Wether or not Derek wrote back, that was his choice. Meredith knew where she stood, knew what she had to do. If Derek was mad at her for whatever reason, he'd have to figure out a way to get over it.

Addison cleared her throat, setting a tray down on the table. "Mind if I sit here?"

"It's fine."Meredith replied, taking another bite. "So the triplets...will they need anymore surgery?"

"James is still very weak. We'll have to go in again, but for now he's able to breath on his own. As for the tumor..."Addison studied Meredith's face, sensing that something was up. "I realize that this is probably none of my business...but are you okay?"

Meredith sighed, stealing a glance at her phone. "I'm just tired."She insisted. "And thinking of what I'm supposed to say to Theresa. Why I'm here. Her mom did...give me pointers after Elizabeth was born. I just...what do you say, you know?"

"It'll be hard. But if you didn't want to go, you wouldn't have agreed to come with me."Addison replied.

"Thank you by the way. For...picking me."Meredith added. "Why did you request me, anyway?...If...you don't mind my asking."

Addison nodded, not seeming surprised at Meredith's question. "Because at the time, you were there. Because...I trust you, and you've shown a lot of promise as a surgeon. Stevens..she's great, and she's interested in the area. She's just...she gets emotional. Sometimes..."She shook her head, smiling. "I'm sorry. It...It wasn't meant as an insult..."

"No. I get it. I do. Just...thank you."Meredith replied, her phone vibrating against the table. She pressed 'read', wondering what Derek would have to say.

_Mer-_

_Things are good. We need to talk. Going 2 site tonight._

_ILY, Der_

Something about his message caused a smile to spread across her face. She knew they needed to talk, but Derek telling her he was going to the house site proved that he wasn't mad. At least that's what it came across as. Meredith decided it was a good thing.


	24. Never Been More Sure

**Author's Note: I know that this chapter took longer than it should have, and for that I am sorry. I knew the direction I wanted this to go, and being the MerDer fan I am, I wanted it to be right. So I came with this. Review, please!-Let me know what you think...**

* * *

He spoke with Meredith each day, though most conversations were kept short. Derek would say something Elizabeth did, or a surgery he'd performed, while she'd update him on the triplets she and Addison were working with. The day of the funeral proved to be an emotional one. Addison stayed at the hospital, monitoring the triplets while Meredith went to the funeral of Theresa's mother.

When she returned, Addison told her that the triplets were healing successfully and it was safe to hand the case over to local doctors. They were on a plane back to Los Angeles when Addison felt she had to ask Meredith something.

"Meredith..."

She looked over, eyes expectant. "Yes?"

"It's just-something occured to me when we were in California."Addison offered, wondering how to approach the question.

"Oh?"Meredith asked, genuinely curious. "What was it?"

"You..you're...you're a great surgeon. You're very comitted to your job, your career..."Addison paused, knowing Meredith could sense the 'but' in her voice. "...but at the same time, family is very important to you. I mean, I wasn't at all trying to be nosy, but the way that you'd speak with Derek. The way you spoke with the mother of the triplets..."Addison shrugged. "I guess I thought there was some sort of secret about it."

"About what? Balancing it all?"Meredith asked, laughing. "Well, if there's one thing that my life isn't, balanced would be it."

"Why do say that?"Addison asked, glad that the mood had lightened between them. Seeing the look in Meredith's eyes, she nodded. "Derek."

"Derek is great. Elizabeth is great. I'm..."Meredith sighed, setting the magazine in her hands down on the chair next to her. "I'm great."She said, knowing that while it wasn't completely the truth, she was sure. "Why?"

"No, it's just...you know, we're...friends. Sort of. And I just thought that if there was anything wrong, I could help."

Meredith stared back at her, curious. "Why would anything be wrong?"

"That's the thing. I'm sorry Meredith, I realize that I'm not making sense. It's just the fact that when you were gone, things were different. Not just with the whole hospital thing, but with Derek. He-He said he was happy, and he dated some. But nothing was the same. I've seen the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you."Addison replied, shrugging. "I get that you two have things to work out and everything, but I guess I just...nevermind."

"You figured things would have gone further by now."Meredith surmised. "Well, I guess for now we're taking things slow. Elizabeth turns two soon, and Derek and I are still working on the house. Things a running smoothly for the first time in a long time. I can't ruin that."

"You're afraid you will?"Addison asked. "If you feel uncomfortable by talking-"

Meredith shook her head. "No, I think I should. Somehow. I guess a part of me is afraid. Of messing things up, I mean. You know better than anyone that things with me are never easy. I love our daughter, and the idea of us...and our lives."

"But?"Addison asked, urging her to continue.

Nodding, Mereith took a deep breath. "I want us to be happy. Not fairytale castle, horse into the sunset happy. But normal. A house to come home to, eating dinner together, putting our daughter to bed...this isn't awkward, is it?"She asked, knowing her past with the man she was talking about.

"No, it's not actually. Mark and I haven't exactly had the smoothest road. At times we fought for weeks...he'd move back to a hotel room for a few nights and I'd spend the time I should I have been sleeping cleaning the house. He'd come back, say he was sorry. We'd make up, and we'd be fine."Addison said, trying to carefull reach her point. "What I'm trying to get at is, love is never easy. Just like life...or surgery. If you feel this way, if you want that...life...talk to Derek about it."

"Talk to Derek about it?"Meredith echoed.

"Honesty is the key."

Meredith shook her head as she fidgeted in her seat.

"Is something wrong?"Addison asked.

"No, no. It's um, I don't know where to begin. Talking to Derek was hard enough, telling him I was keeping his daughter from him. He trusts me now, and we have a great life. I guess I'm afraid of testing the waters too much too soon."She said, deciding that it was enough of an answer.

Addison nodded her head in agreement, deciding to help Meredith a little further. She knew that Derek was happy with her, as was Meredith with him. Mark and Derek had slowly worked their way towards friendship again, and it only seemed fitting that they'd all reunite. "It wouldn't be too soon really. I'm not saying you two have to go off and get married right away or anything, but you're using the time it takes to build the house to reconnect. Think of how it would be, standing in front of your new house together, Elizabeth standing beside you. Family has always been important to Derek."

"We are a family, Addison. I just..."Meredith hesitated, searching her mind for something to say. She loved Derek, of that much she was certain. The few days apart proved that she missed him. Still, she didn't want to just collapse into the role she would have been expected. "I love him. I love the idea of spending so much time and everything. I've never been...domestically inclined. I can cook, but mostly due to necessity, what with having a child and all."

"That would make you have to learn..."Addison agreed.

Meredith laughed, nodding. "Growing up, my mother was always at the hospital. My father, well...he wasn't the most dependable, either. When I left Seattle, I thought that I was leaving any hope of really, truly being happy behind. I'm glad that I didn't of course."

"What are you saying?"Addison asked, glad that she could help. In fact, she loved the idea of Meredith, Derek and Elizabeth. She liked the idea of them coming over, of having Christmas parties or parties whenever the big game was on. She could practically picture Derek and Mark running around on the front lawn like old times, chasing furiously after the football. But it wasn't old times. So much has changed, so many things had been altered. At times it felt like they'd never be happy again. Still, somehow they had managed to find their way-her and Mark. It only made sense for Derek and Meredith to find theirs.

"I'm saying that I want a chance. That I'd like to be happy. I just don't know what to do. I can't just walk up to Derek after he left the O.R., tell him that we're going...someplace. That this needs to be..."Meredith shook her head. She adjusted in her seat, a nervous breath leaving her. A question rose in her mind as she turned back to Addison. "Why are you so concerned all of a sudden? Is there something going on that I don't know about?"

At that moment, the pilot's voice came over the speakers telling Meredith and Addison that they were about to land. The mood had clearly shifted as they buckled seatbelts, and were prepared to land back in Seattle. Addison would return home, where Mark would come later. Meredith would find her way back to the house, silently planning in her mind what she'd say to Derek when they arrived.

* * *

Once safe at home, Meredith was thrilled to find Elizabeth and Derek in the living room, apparently playing with some of her toys. It was evening, and she could smell whatever Izzie was cooking on the stove. As she walked into the kitchen, she set her bags on the floor, sighing. 

"Bad flight?"Izzie asked, taking a spice bottle out of the cabinet.

"No, not really. It was actually kind of nice."Meredith said, sitting herself on a stool. "It was the last few days that have made me kind of...tired."She said, hearing the giggling coming from the other room. "I'll be right back..."

When Meredith entered the living room, she saw Derek, elbow propped against the ground, using Elizabeth's bear to tickle her stomach. "Looks like somebody's having fun."

Derek's head popped up at the sound of her voice. "You're home. I didn't know...I was going to go to the airport or-"

"It's okay."Meredith assured him as she settled on the floor next to them. "I wanted to...surprise everybody."

He nodded, seeming to take it well. "Well, thank you I suppose. How was California?"

"Stressful. But the triplets are breathing, happy I guess. One of them needed multiple surgeries, but we were able to repair him. As for Theresa...she'll be fine. I hope. Her mother's funeral was..."Meredith stopped, shaking her head. She looked back into his blue eyes and smiled. "I'm happy to be home."

"We're happy to have you."Derek said, reaching over Elizabeth to give her a kiss.

"So.."Meredith said, looking down at their daughter. "Was she good for her daddy?"

Derek shrugged, a smile suddenly growing evident on his face. "She tried to be. She cried a little but we worked things out. Oh, and she can say something, too."

"What's that?"Meredith asked.

"Izzie was, um...she made snacks for everyone the other day. Sliced apples and peanut butter. It wasn't much, but the muffins were in the oven, and Elizabeth here wanted a snack. Anyway, she had a piece of apple in her hand, she was chewing on the other end, and she said "apples are good.". I know that she can say other things, shoes, it's raining...small things. I know that it's not exactly "I'm scrubbing in on a man with an aneurysm on his left frontal lobe." yet, but..."

Meredith just sat on the floor, staring at him. There were few times that Derek truly amazed her, but this time she truly was. The way he seemed so happy at the fact that their daughter could speak, that she could communicate with him. The way he rambled on, so seemingly fascinated. While Meredith was aware of the chaos Elizabeth had been born into she made a vow that she would not be brought up the same way.

"Is something wrong?"Derek asked, concerned.

"No. It's...I'm sorry. The way that I left with Addison to go do those surgeries in Los Angeles. I had a funeral to go to, and another hospital...and I left without really explaining. I don't want to miss anything. With Elizabeth or with you."Meredith confessed, grabbing Elizabeth's hand in hers.

Derek seemed pleased to hear it as he looked at Elizabeth, too. "I took her to see the house.Well, it's not completely a house yet, of course. But we've got ground work, they're working on the frame and such...before you know it, we'll be moved in."

"About that-"Meredith began as Izzie poked her head in the room.

"Sorry to interrupt. Dinner's ready."She said, turning back towards the stairs. "Alex! Spaghetti's on!"

"Spaghetti, huh? Sounds good to me."Meredith said, helping Elizabeth as she stood up.

Eyeing her, Derek knew they had left things unfinished. "Mer-"

She looked back at him, knowing what he was trying to say. "Can we talk about this...after dinner?"She offered. "There you go...one foot after the other. Come on, you can do it."Meredith said, helping Elizabeth in walking into the kitchen.

Izzie stood, putting breadsticks on plates when she saw them walking in. "Well, look at what's happening here. Elizabeth is walking and hey...I think that calls for extra sauce."

"I doubt she needs any of that, Izzie."Derek laughed.

"Are you kidding, everyone loves Aunt Izzie's cooking, don't they?"Izzie said, setting a plate in front of Elizabeth. "Alex..you coming?"

"Right here. I wouldn't miss spaghetti..."He called, laughing at the look on her face. "What? Really, I wouldn't. Hey Mer, you're back."

"How nice of you to notice."Meredith said, taking her fork in her hand. She glanced across the table at Derek who was helping Elizabeth, taking care in making sure that her napkin was in place. A part of her felt guilty in that she had kept him from those father-daughter moments for over a year, but she knew better. Her mind went to the conversation with Addison on the plane back, back to the way that she felt. Meredith realized that she couldn't dwell on the past, on the 'what ifs' any longer.

After dinner, Alex lost the game as to who would do dishes. Meredith was the one to give Elizabeth her bath before putting her to bed. After they were done, it was decided that they would all sit down to a game of monopoly. Derek was in the laundry room trying to grab it off the shelf when he heard someone come in. Turning his head, he saw Meredith standing in the doorway. "Hi. I can get the game, you know. I just-"

"I know, Derek."Meredith said, walking towards him.

"Then what is it?"He asked, arms falling to his sides. He set the Monopoly game box on top of the washer, focusing on Meredith. "Is this about earlier?"

Meredith drew a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say. She'd tried to picture the moment so many times, but she didn't think to factor in a sudden wave of nervousness. "Sort of."

Derek nodded, lowering his eyes. "I wasn't trying to pressure you..."

"I know. I was actually trying to-to tell you something. Before dinner."Meredith said, messing with the hem of her left sleeve.

Raising his eyebrow, Derek leaned against the washer, his hand on his hip. It surprised Meredith-how even wearing a worn out blue T-shirt and sweatpants, in a midst of dirty clothes Derek still looked attractive. There was some sort on intoxicating factor about him that she knew he used to gain power of her. Strangely, she found herself not minding. "What was it?"

"I love you, Derek. And I know that we agreed we'd use this time while the house is being built to...build our relationship again. Seeing you with Elizabeth, watching how you are with her...I want that. I want that family. That place you go to at night kind of family. Not some job, some routine. We...we work together. We...play..."Meredith said, unable to find another word. "Together. We're at our best together, Derek."

Nodding, Derek's eyes remained firm, boring holes into her. Meredith had never felt more vulnerable, more open to anyone else. She knew she had placed herself on a ledge, and it was now up to Derek to decided whether he'd pull her back or push her off. "What are you saying, Meredith?"He asked, not wanting to push her.

"I'm saying that...you don't have to walk on eggshells. That I know when I left I left a dent in you and you're still healing or...whatever. But I missed you, and I love you. I want my life, and I...I want you."

Derek moved towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "That's good, Mer. Because I love you, and I wnat us, too. I always have. Even when it wasn't clear if you'd ever be here. I know that it won't be easy, that we...we'll have to work."

"It's what a realtionship is. But I am in this. Now, forever..."

Moving his lips towards her, Derek paused. "Forever..."He whispered before taking her mouth in his, his tongue pushing past her lips. He pinned her against the washer and dryer, moving his hands to her hips, rubbing her bare skin there with his thumb. As his tongue moved against hers, he realized that it was real this time. That there would be no more running, no more fighting. It was real, and nothing would take it away.

Meredith's hands wound around his neck, her fingers getting lost in his hair. She felt him lifting her, pushing her back onto the washer. But as she felt her back press on of the buttons, she gasped. "Derek...Derek, we...monopoly..."

"Right."Derek said, pulling at the waistband of his pants. "I'm sure I can wait that long."

"Monopoly can be a long game, you know..."Meredith said, teasing him with another kiss.

Staring straight into Meredith's eyes, Derek nodded. "I know."He said, tongue reaching out to wet his lips. "But I can wait."


	25. There are No Rules

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I know that I waited to post, but now that I have everything sorted out, there will be MerDer and everyone else. Let me know what you think-leave me a review, please!**

* * *

Meredith awoke the next morning, Derek's arms wrapped tightly around her. A smile was on her lips, one that hadn't been there in a long time. As she tried to move, in an effort to go take a quick shower before work. Derek pulled her back towards him, planting a kiss on her shoulder. Laughing, Meredith wound her fingers with his. "Good Morning."

"Mmm..It's a good morning, indeed."Derek said, smelling her hair before planting a kiss on her neck. "Waking up next to you makes for a very good morning..."

"Yes, well..waking up next to me or not, we have work soon. Which means we have to get moving..."Meredith said, pretending like she was getting up, knowing her would pull her back.

"Wait, wait, wait..."Derek mumbled against her neck, a smirk evident on his lips. He'd never felt happier-holding Meredith, the house coming along smoothly, his daughter was healthy.

Meredith rested her head against her pillow, looking at him. "Wait for what?"

His hand moved against her face, Derek staring at her, shaking his head. "I love you, Meredith."

Nodding, Meredith covered his hand with hers, knowing that he was speaking deeply. His eyes had grown a deeper, truer shade of blue. It wasn't one that she herself knew the name of-it was uniquely Derek. Everything about him-the was he smiled, the way he smelled, the look in his eyes that seemed to be reserved just for her-it was all Derek. "I love you, too."

Derek bowed down, wrapping her lips in a kiss. His arm moved towards her waist, hand slowly roaming across her waist. He smiled, laughing inwardly as he heard her let out a sigh, wrapping a leg around him.

"Mmm...Derek..."Meredith said, pulling back. "Derek, we're never going to get out of here if we..."

"So you're saying that you'd rather listelessly walk through hallways, unable to think about anything but this until you get caught in a surgery in the O.R. and you realize you have to focus?"

"Lunch. If we're both free, we can meet for lunch."Meredith declared, knowing that if she didn't find the strength to get out of bed, they wouldn't be going anywhere.

Derek propped himself up on his elbow, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his other hand. "How is it that we go from you muttering my name to proposing a lunch date?"

Meredith's eyes widened, grabbing a pillow and beating him with it. "Derek! I'm trying to do this here. I'm really trying."

"I know, Mer."Derek replied, growing serious again. "Fine, I'll meet you again for lunch."He said, giving her a kiss before moving to get up. "And because you've decided to interrupt this...I...will be the first one in the shower."

"What?"Meredith exlaimed, gathering the sheets around her, running as Derek reached the bedroom door. Sighing, she watched as he shut the bathroom door, leaving her to sink amongst the mess of sheets on the bedroom floor.

* * *

Once downstairs, Meredith was greeted by a plate of french toast. "You made french toast?"She asked.

"Well, I would have made banana pancakes, but it seems as if I was out of vanilla. Vanilla adds a certain taste, and well..without the flour that Alex...was supposed to buy..."

Alex held up his hands in defense. "I'm sorry. You know I don't work well with groceries unless I have a list."

Meredith picked up a piece of toast, putting it in her mouth. "Well, I think it's good. Really, I like it."

Izzie smiled at Alex, shoving a piece onto his plate. "Thanks, Mer. Derek, do you want any more?"

"No, I'm fine."He insisted, unsure of how to answer otherwise.

"Oh. Well then...Mer, you've got groceries this week. You don't have to pick them up tonight if you have plans, but I was planning on making chicken tonight, and I need some things."

Taking a glass of orange juice from her, Meredith nodded. "I'll go."

"Good. Now, do you need a list?"Izzie asked.

Meredith shook her head. "Nope, I'll be fine. I'm sure _I_ can figure it out."She said, getting up from her stool. Placing her plate in the sink, she cleared her throat. "Derek?"

"Yeah?"He said, fork hanging in the air.

"Do you...nevermind."She said, picking up the bag she had left in the kitchen the night before.

"What is it?"He asked, curious.

"Elizabeth's daycare. We have to make the payment, and I didn't know if you were planning on taking her today, so I didn't know if I should hand you the check."Meredith said, slinging the strap over her shoulder.

Derek walked towards her, leaving his glass on the counter. "We could take her together."He suggested, smiling.

"But that would mean we'd drive to work together. Which would mean we'd leave together..."Meredith surmised.

"Yes, that's true. That wouldn't be a problem, would it?"He asked, fingers reaching to brush her hair.

"No, no. It's wouldn't be. Just that Izzie said I'm doing groceries this week. You'd be stuck doing that with me."Meredith said, shrugging.

Nodding, Derek's face grew serious. "I'm sure I can handle that. Unless of course you don't want me to handle it..."

Meredith smiled, happy at their newfound easiness. "It's fine. I'm going to get her ready. Make sure you're ready when I get back."

Izzie let out a laugh, licking something off of her thumb.

Derek turned towards her, hand on his hip. "You find something funny?"He asked.

"Oh, no. Of course not. I just think it's sweet. You know...you two doing the whole flirting thing."Izzie said, handing Alex a bowl to wash.

"Flirting? What-that right there?"Derek asked. "That was...well, anyway. I suppose I should get ready..."He said, going off in search of his shoes.

* * *

At Seattle Grace that day, Meredith was standing by the surgical board, seemingly in an argument with Mark as Addison approached.

"All I'm saying is that we need to do the coil embolysation this afternoon, I need O.R. two open."

"Is there a problem?"Addison asked, flipping the file in her hands open.

"Yes, and I had O.R. two first. It's a very crucial skin grafting surgery for a burn victim. Show a little sympathy, Grey."Mark replied.

"Nice to see you two getting along so well..."Addison remarked.

Meredith sighed, checking her watch. "I guess...O.R. four is open in the available time, but that depends on how long the surgery prior-"

"See? I knew you could figure it out."Mark said, clapping her on the shoulder. "And just so you know?...I would have given you the O.R. if you'd asked nicely..."He said, nodding at Addison. "Hey."

"Nice of you to notice I'm here."Addison remarked, kidding. "Hi."

"So I was thinking...dinner? You know, everything's been so busy lately. You aren't planning on staying late, are you?"Mark asked.

"No. It sounds good with me."Addison agreed, watching as he walked away before turning back to Meredith. "Sorry."

"No, that's fine."Meredith insisted, staring at her shoes.

"So?"Addison asked, shrugging. "Did you..talk to him?"

Meredith looked over at her, happy to have someone to confide in. "Yeah. We...talked. Things are better this time. It'll be better."

Addison nodded, glad to see them so happy. "Good. That's good to hear."She said, just as her pager went off. "Oh, I'm sorry. I've...gotta take this."

Cristina spotted her, pulling Meredith's hand. "Good. Where have you been?"

"What? Is something wrong?"Meredith asked.

"No. Well, that depends. Where have you been? As in-weekend? You up and disappear to California, only for me to find out from a scrub nurse that you went with She-Sloan?...Addison, sorry. Whatever."

"Um...yeah. I went."Meredith said, nodding.

"I thought you were in Neuro. You're in Neuro and you go leaving with a Neo-Natal surgeon?"Cristina asked, still holding on to her wrist.

Meredith looked around, somewhat amused with her behavior. "Yes. One of the triplets had a possible tumor. I've familiarized. It's okay, Cristina. What's going on?"

"Burke.."Cristina said, sighing. "Burke and I bought a house."

"House? You bought a house?"Meredith asked.

"Yes, a house. Curtains, tables, bedrooms. We've been married...together. For a while. But we bought a house."

"And..."

"And..."Cristina said, rolling her eyes. "I need your help."

"Help? With what?"Meredith asked.

"You know...couple stuff. Decorating so it looks like I live there. Things like that. Oh, and you and Derek are coming to dinner tomorrow."Cristina said, heading away.

"Cristina-"Meredith called.

"Sorry...I've gotta go. Burke um..wants to talk about paint swatches."

"Cristina!"Meredith cried, sighing.

* * *

Sitting down in the cafeteria, Meredith sighed.

Derek sat across from her, setting his tray down. "So..."He said. "We're having lunch."

"We are having lunch."Meredith repeated, reaching her hand across the table to touch his. "We also have dinner at Cristina and Burke's...house...tomorrow."

"Was there a reason house was-"Derek paused. "Oh, that's right. Preston did say something."

"Preston?...Since when do you call Bukre, preston?"Meredith asked.

"Since I found out we were invited to their house."Derek replied, taking a sip from his water.

Meredith nodded, picking at her salad. "So..."

"Well..."Derek said, shrugging. "Just think of what it'll be like when we can invite them to our house."

Satisfied, Meredith smiled. "True."

Derek watched her, the way she held her fork, studying him as she did. "Are we...going to talk at this lunch? Is there some sort of topic guideline I have to know about?"

Meredith shook her head, chewing. "No. There are no rules. We just...learn as we go along."


	26. The Happy People

**Author's Note: I have been having issues with FFN, along with the fact that I've been on vacation for a while, and didn't have any real story time for the computer I had. I'm very sorry. However, I think I'm making it up in this chapter. It's not much, but it get s a little fluffy...and what MDer doesn't love some good MerDer fluffiness, right? I promise that won't be ALL the rest of this story is, but it's what made sense for this chapter.**

**Review, please--they're what keep me going!**

* * *

"So I was thinking-"Meredith said as she reached to the backseat of Derek's car, handing Elizabeth a toy. "You and Burke are friends, right?"

"Yes, isn't that why we're going to this...impromptu housewarming party?"Derek asked, an amused smile gracing his features.

"That's not what I meant."Meredith replied. "Just that...with him being Chief now, and you and me building the house..well, we're not actually building the house, I mean I'm pretty sure a surgeon can't just suddenly know how to build a house, but-"

"Mer?"Derek asked, stopping the car to wait at a red light. "It'll be fine. If anything we'll end up talking about different aspects of homes and such, maybe throw in discussion of surgeries, and call it a night. Complete with a meal of course."

Meredith smiled at Elizabeth who seemed content in moving the ear of the stuffed dog she had handed her before turning to look back at him. "I know. And I get that. What I'm trying to say is that you should..you know...be nice."

"Nice?"Derek asked, moving the car forward.

"Your tastes differ. You know, with organization, and selection. And according to what Cristina explained was a very stark white he plans on having the walls painted-"

"Meredith...Burke and I-Well, _Preston_ and I are friends. Everything will be okay. Trust me."Derek assured her, tapping her knee with his hand. He loved it when she would ramble on, perhaps being afraid. It was the Meredith that he knew and loved. The one that, like it or not, would end up getting his help. Glancing over, he noticed how she bit her lip, chewing gently as she stared out the window. "What is it that you're so afraid of, Mer? Cristina is going to be there, so if anything you two can just hide in one of the back rooms...assuming that Elizabeth will be safe, that is."

In truth, Meredith had no clue as to why she felt nervous. She should have felt fine, she knew. But she couldn't help but remember the dinner with Mark and Addison. Sure, that time, she wasn't best friends with one of the hosts, but Meredith guessed she took it as a sign of change. Visting friends for a housewarmin dinner was something married couples, married families did together. While she and Derek weren't, Meredith knew that it could have been a step. She was sure that this...dinner was only a sign of things to come.

"It's not the dinner i'm afraid of. I know it'll be okay. But when our house is finished, seeing as Burke so kindly invited us over, it's only fair that we invite them."Meredith surmised, feeling that she had chosen the right words to describe how she felt.

Derek nodded, taking a look at a smiling Elizabeth through the rearview mirror. "I see. So you think we're going to start some competition, not only competing at work, but on some mundane neverending lawn improvement game as well?"He asked, pulling into the correct driveway.

"Well, sort of..."Meredith mumbled, watching the smirk on his face. "What?"

"I can assure you that nothing like that will happen."Derek said, leaning over to kiss her. He let his lips linger for a second before pulling back, unfastening his seatbelt. "I'll get Elizabeth, I can see Cristina hovering in the window."

* * *

"And this..."Burke said, gesturing to a glass table situated in the middle of a mess of boxes. "-will be the dining room. As you can see we have not fully finished unpacking, but we have enough out to provide for the evening."

Meredith nodded. "It looks nice. Is that dinner I smell?"She asked, sensing Cristina fidgeting.

"Yes, of course. If you'll excuse me-"Burke said, making his way out of the room.

"It's a lovely house, Doctor Yang."Derek said, clasping his hands together. He knew she appeared nervous, perhaps exhausted, from the whole process.

Cristina nodded, sighing. "It is, isn't it? I mean...don't get me wrong. Because I like it and everything. But moving in is...it's hard. You know? With the-the signing, and the meetings. And then once you're in the house, you have to move everything in-which trust me, I am not cut out for."

Meredith laughed, patting her friend on the shoulder. "I'm pretty sure that you'll be okay."

"Hey, just know that I'll use whatever I say back at you when you're freaking out...how many months from now?"Cristina asked, referencing to the time until the house would be built.

At that time Derek heard Burke calling for him from the kitchen. "Yes?"

"Do you think you could come help me in the kitchen? There are some things that need to be moved to the table."Burke said, referring to the food.

"We can't serve the food if we don't have plates on the table."Cristina shot back at him as Derek walked through the doorway to assist in carrying the food in.

"They should be in the box in the corner."Burke replied.

Meredith laughed, shaking her head as she moved Elizabeth into the chair they had brought for her. "Mommy and daddy won't be like this when we move in, okay?"She whispered. A clink was heard behind her, so she turned her head to see what it was.

"There. Plates."Cristina said, wiping the hair from her eyes.

"Careful-"Burke mused, a satisfied smile crossing his place. "Those are family heirlooms. They were passed down through the Burke family, Cristina."He said, setting one of the dishes on the table. Once everything had been set down, the all began to eat.

"Could I ask you a question?"Derek asked halfway through the dinner, fork dangling in the air. He darted his eyes back and forth between Meredith and Burke.

"What would that be?"Burke questioned, sticking a forkful of pasta into his mouth.

Nodding in the general direction of the room, Derek continued. "Why now? I mean, don't get me wrong. It's a great place. But you two have had this oppurtunity for...a while now."

"It's something that has been in the works, albeit behind the scenes for a while now. Why do you ask?"

Meredith brushed her hand against Derek's, smiling for a second due to their connection. "Curiousity?"She offered, not wanting to interrupt too far.

Derek nodded, squeezing her hand under the table. "Curiousity."

Burke looked at Cristina, perhaps looking for some sort of inspiration. "It was time. The apartment had gotten too old, and the owner of the building announced that he would soon be selling. The timing was right for the change."

Satisfied with the answer her had gotten, Derek thought of he and Meredith, and of the situation they were in. He knew that it was right, that the timing was right. In fact, Derek thought as he reached for the green beans, it couldn't have been more better.

The dinner finished smoothly, save for Elizabeth dropping her plate on the floor. Thankfully, Meredith said, it had been emtied. As she helped Cristina to clean it up, she heard Elizabeth offer a "sorry", to which Derek remarked how well behaved she was, even at the very young age she was. They stood on the driveway, after having packed Elizabeth's chair, saying goodbye.

"Thank you for coming, and I assure you we will both be happy to have dinner with you both once the project is completed."Burke said, replying to Derek's offer.

"It's good to hear."Derek replied in return.

Cristina pulled on Meredith's sleeve, in an attempt to get her away so she could talk. "Okay...you get that I will pay you back for this, right?"

"What are you talking about?"Meredith asked, an amused smile on her face.

"This-"Cristina said, waving her arm towards the house. "This happy...couples...dining thing. As soon as that house of yours is finished, trust me, Mer, you're going to love your payback."

"What, so you'll come over with a freshly store bought apple pie and some of those fresh scent candles?"Meredith asked sarcastically, darting her eyes in Derek's direction. Her breath caught short, watching as he stared back at her, a smile evident in his eyes.

Cristina caught her stare and sighed audibly. "When did this happen?"

"When did what happen?"Meredith asked, not taking her eyes off of Derek.

Nudging Meredith's arm, Cristina arched her eyebrow. "We became the happy people."

Meredith laughed, knowing Cristina was right. "That's true."She said nodding. "But for once...I can't complain."

* * *

Meredith had just gotten out of the shower when she heard something coming from outside of the room. She knew that Izzie and Alex were out that night, and recognizing the voice as Derek's, Meredith chose to quickly towel dry her hair before heading to see what it was. Looking down the hall, she watched as Derek hovered over Elizabeth's crib, a smile clearly shining on his face as he did.

"And the swingset...well, of course you won't be able to play on it by yourself until you're a little older. But mommy or me could help you, i'm sure. And the lake will be perfect for swimming in the summer. Maybe a dog..."

Feeling warm at Derek speaking to their daughter, Meredith propped herself against the doorframe of the room that now served as Elizabeth's.

Instictively, Derek heard her and turned his head. "You heard..."

"I heard..."Meredith said, walking in. "I think it's sweet."

"Yeah, well..."Derek said, kissing her forehead as they met. "She's so beautiful..."

"I love how her eyes look when she's just falling asleep. And the way the blanket just...comes up to-"Meredith said, stroking her cheek just as their daughter was drifting to sleep. "Goodnight, sweetie. Mommy loves you..."She cooed, standing there a moment, taking the scene in.

Derek rubbed small circled on Meredith's back, silently moving her still damp hair. "You know her mother's beautiful, too."He said, his blue eyes taking on a sincere look.

Meredith looked back at him, emotion washing over her. "Her father isn't so bad either."

"Really?"Derek asked, raising an eyebrow. "I'd like to meet this guy."

Laughing softly, as to not wake Elizabeth, Meredith linked her arms around his neck. "I'm pretty sure you'd like him. Although I don't know..he can be kind of arrogant sometimes..."

"Is that so? Well, I hear that her mother has a way of talking about other people..."Derek said, forcefully tickling her, trying to keep it hushed as they moved towards the hallway. "You know, her father."

Meredith smiled, because in that moment, she was nothing more than deliriously happy. It was a strange feeling, because now that everything had fallen into place, she knew that it was great. She knew that it was right this time. Meredith understood why things had fallen apart in the past, why they had lost their connection. And as she felt Derek's hands, warm against the skin that was now bare between her worn Dartmouth shirt and a pair of pajama pants, she knew that this time everything was settled. Everything was better. This time, none of those things that had happened in the past would happen. "Derek?"

"Mer?"He called, stubble gracing her chin. His lips met hers gracefully, yet still conveying the fact that at the moment, he craved her. Pulling back, Derek stared into her eyes.

"We're the happy people."Meredith said, as if saying it made it all the more real. "I...I like being the happy people."

"Really?"Derek asked, smirking. He eliminated any space left between them, letting out a sigh. "That's good. Because I..."He said, before plunging his face into Meredith's neck, reveling in the lavender scent that mixed with her natural odor. Derek planted kisses down her neck, his hand slowly sliding beneath the worn fabric of her shirt. "-like being the happy people, too."


	27. Breakaway

**Author's Note: So this story is sadly drawing to a close. It's not over yet by any means, but it will be in just a bit. It won't exactly be pure fluff here on out, but I'm focusing on the connection that they have for now. Review, please!**

**By the way, this chapter takes place roughly two months after the last one...Thanks!**

* * *

Meredith pushed the door open to the scrub room, pulling her mask off. After a successful surgery, she was looking forward to resting in an on-call room until the end of her shift. As she walked down the hallway she was greeted by a cup of coffee pushed into her hand. "Um..thanks?"She offered, turning to see who it was. "Addison?"She asked, a curious smile evident. 

"Sorry."Addison offered, shrugging. "I know you would have preferred Derek, but he's...well, busy. I thought you wouldn't mind."

"No, it's good. It's fine. Where is he?"She asked, glancing over at her. In truth, she wasn't that surprised at the ease in their relationship. Sure, they weren't exactly as close as her and Cristina, or her and Izzie, but they had forged some sort of friendship. Kinship at the last.

Addison shifted a little as they treaded down the hallway, clearing her throat. "I'm not entirely sure. Do you want to grab a bite?...I could save us a table."

Meredith laughed, nursing the cup of coffee. "Thanks. I have to speak with the family of my patient, but I suppose if you're still free..."

"I guess I'll meet you in the cafeteria then."Addison surmised before heading off in the right direction.

Meredith watched her leave, then staring down at her shoes, debated the reason Addison seemed so hesitant in telling her where Derek was. It was true, he didn't normally wait for her after surgeries. On occasion he'd text her telling her to meet him, or he'd mention something quick when he saw her in the hallway. Still, the way Addison showed up, coffee and a smile, was a different take on the whole situation. In fact, Meredith thought as she found her way to the waiting room, she hadn't heard from Derek all day. Of course she'd been tied up in surgery all day, and Derek left for work early. He'd left her a note promising to do dinner that night, but other than that she hadn't heard from him at all.

Deciding that it was nothing, that the hospital was keeping him busy, she held on tight to her coffee cup, offering a smile as she greeted her patient's family.

* * *

Mark let out a sigh as he and Derek walked down the street. He glanced over at him, seeing the look plastered to his face. "You aren't thinking again, are you?" 

Derek head popped up, his hand adjusting inside of his pocket. "Not in the slightest..."He trailed off, a smile playing on his lips. "But I keep thinking there's something I had to have missed."

"Why is that? Derek, you were there for over an hour examining, making sure everything was perfectly...well, perfect. Trust me, everything will work it's way out."Mark assured him, slightly thrilled with the fact that Derek was so nervous. "This is good, though."He added with a smirk.

"What's that?"Derek replied.

Mark grinned, shaking his head. "You being the nervous unsure one. It's good on you."

Letting out a nervous laugh, Derek shook his head. "Well, that's all about to change."He said, sighing. He panicked for a second, checking for the box yet again in his pocket. He let out a sigh of relief to find that it was there. Looking at Mark, he shook his head. "You're enjoying this, aren't you? You're gonna go straight to Mer and taunt her with the fact that you know something and she doesn't."

He feigned surprise, bringing his hand to his chest. "I'm offended."

"Right, Mark Sloan offended...that'll be the day..."Derek muttered.

Mark stopped in his tracks, staring straight at him. "Well I am. That you think I would blab something this important to anyone. Addison's the one that had to distract her with lunch so she wouldn't know you were missing from Seattle Grace."

"I wasn't missing. I took a break. But we really do have to get back..."Derek said, drawing in a deep breath. He wasn't sure why, but everything felt better now. Sharper, clearer. It took Mark's sarcasm and the perfect ring to bring it all out.

* * *

"So I'm standing there, telling them all this information, and the lady...she offers to bake me cookies."Meredith laughed, shaking her head.

"Well, sometimes people are...well.."Addison said, adjusting the files she picked up from the nurses' station. They had finished lunch, and afterward spent time discussing the overall situation, along with how well the house was coming along. She shrugged as the elevator doors opened. "That..patient? Shouldn't you be checking up?"

"Yes, I should. Are you okay?"Meredith asked, frowning. "I mean, I've spent this whole time rambling on about me, and about all these interns I have to deal with-"

Addison nodded, smiling. "It's fine, really. I'm good. Lunch was...good. It was good catching up. We should do it more often."

Meredith nodded nervously, knowing the invitation was well-intentioned.

"Meredith?...You don't have to be nervous around me. It's okay."

Drawing in a deep breath, she nodded. "Okay. Well, I should get going...I'll catch you later.."Meredith said, waving as she walked off.

Addison agreed, folding her arms as Meredith walked away without turning around. "What are you doing? You can't just walk in here...looking like...like that!"

Derek glanced down at his clothes, plain and ordinary. "Excuse me Addison, but this tends to be what a person wears for going out on the town."

"Exactly."She said, punching him in the arm. "On the town. Not when you're working at a hospital-which, by the way...this happens to be."

"Easy on him, Addison...he's had a tough time..."Mark defended, chuckling a little.

"Why is that? Can you even clue me in here? I mean, Meredith isn't supposed to know something which, no offense, but gathering our track record-"

"You'll know. Trust me..."Mark replied, patting Derek on the back. "I've gotta go change back. You did good."

* * *

That night, Meredith went to the daycare to pick up Elizabeth, every intention of going home to shower and then going out with Derek. They had been so caught up in watching the house being taken care of that they had gotten little time to themselves. Izzie offered to watch Elizabeth for the few hours that they went to dinner-afterall, she'd be asleep half of the time anyway.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay here?"Meredith asked, adjusting Elizabeth's shirt.

"Please, Mer...Aunt Izzie's making spaghetti, how could she _not_ be okay?"Izzie replied, scoffing.

"Well, Aunt Izzie better be planning for a mess...she knows what happened last time..."Alex laughed, shaking his head.

"Yeah? Well Uncle Alex-"

"Hey? If you two are busy flirting then maybe we should just take her with us..."Meredith joked.

"No, I'm sure they can handle it."Derek said, again readjusting his tie.

Meredith sighed, staring at him suspiciously. It had been a while since they had actually gone on a proper date, but it still didn't explain why he seemed to be so stiff. "Why are you having so much trouble with that stupid tie? You don't even have to wear it."

Derek shrugged, glancing over Meredith's shoulder at Izzie. "Trust me, I do. It's fine."He offered with a smile. "Let's go."

"Alright-"Meredith said, kissing Elizabeth on the cheek. "Night, sweetie."

"Night, mommy."Elizabeth offered, her chubby hands gracing her cheeks. "Love you."

Meredith laughed, tickling her stomach. "I love you, too..say bye to Daddy..."She said, standing up again to face Izzie. 'Thank you again...this was kind of thrown together last minute."

Izzie laughed, shaking her head. "Yeah, well..it's fine. We're good here. Go out and have your dinner...we'll have some food, good times...she'll be in bed..."

Meredith nodded, saying goodbye before following Derek out of the door. She looked at him as his eyes glimmered, and thought how perfect he looked when he was dressed up. Sure, she thought he looked perfect in a pair of dark blue scrubs or an old T-Shirt, but this was different-more regal. Grasping his hand within hers, she followed him to the car, admitting the fact that for once, she liked the idea of not knowing where they were going.

* * *

Their meal had come and both began to eat, talking about events of the day. Conversation eventually floated to them, and how far they had come, how much had happened. The house was quickly rising, as was their relationship. Time with Elizabeth only made it more concrete. Every day that Derek spent with them only solidified it in his mind.

He'd never realized it before-how much he loved being a father. The way she looked up at him, blue eyes so trusting. Her hair was dark like his, her eyes a mixture between his and Meredith's. As Derek stared across the table, her grabbed Meredith's hand, drawing in a deep breath. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you, too."Meredith replied, concentrating on the way his thumb rubbed against hers. "So..."

Derek sat up straight, clearing his throat. "I've just...I've been thinking. The house...Elizabeth. Us. I'm glad we got to do this..."

"Me too. We don't do it often."Meredith offered, bringing her glass to her lips. As she did the look on Derek's face caused her to laugh, and some of it spilled. She laughed more, dabbing at the mess she had made.

Lost in his thoughts, Derek honestly believed he had never seen someone more beautiful. Any other woman would have been absolutely upset that wine had gotten spilled on her dress, but not Meredith. If something happened, it happened. There was nothing she could do to change it. "We've come a long way. It's been good...falling for you all over again. Knowing every moment that I get the opportunity to know you, to have you..."Derek paused, almost in a panic. He knew what he was going for, but in actuality hadn't thought of what to say.

Meredith laughed nervously, Derek's worry coming across to her. "Are you okay?"She whispered.

"Never been better."He muttered back to her. "And that's because of you. Because I-I love you. More than...anyone. I know the way that things might have happened in the past, but we're over that now. You make my life a better place, Meredith. When I see you happy it...it just makes me happy. And that's exactly what I want-to see you happy."

Meredith nodded, smiling back at him. The world had slowed down, it seemed to her, since Derek began to speak. All she could see was Derek, all she could feel was his hand smoothly against hers, creating an inseparable bond. His eyes bored a hole straight into hers that strangely enough she'd never mind. All she could focus on were the words Derek was saying, the way his mouth moved as he said them. The way his tongue darted out repeatedly, tasting the words on his lips. Everything in that moment was just-him. Until her cellphone rang, breaking all concentration. "I'm..."

"No, get it."Derek insisted, losing his courage. "It could be important."

She nodded, pulling it out. Meredith frowned as she read the number. "It's Izzie's cell. You don't think..."

"Just answer..."

"Hey, what's going on?...I'm a little busy here."Meredith said through gritted teeth.

"Yeah, well Mer...I'm sorry to interrupt your date."Izzie said, drawing in a deep breath as she sounded unsure. "But Alex and I are sitting here at Seattle Grace. It's Elizabeth. You guys...you guys should come quick."


	28. Good News, Bad News

**Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. I know it was kind of a cliffhanger ending, but we'll see how things go with this chapter. I do have to tell you that it is mostly in the hospital, and as for that question...well, we will get to it. Anyway, review please!**

* * *

"She's going to be okay, right?"Meredith asked frantically as Derek drove. "She'll be okay."

Derek gripped the wheel, cursing the stoplight. He looked over to Meredith who stared at him sadly. "Elizabeth has the most stubborn parents on the planet, she'll be fine."Derek assured her, grabbing her hand in his.

"She had a cold."Meredith said as the car moved again. "She's had a cold these past few days, Derek. We thought she'd be fine but it got worse. What if it got worse?"

"Mer, just stay calm. She's got Izzie and Alex right now, and we'll be there soon. If it is the cold, then they'll give her some medicine and we can take her home. Quick and easy."Derek replied, trying to believe it himself.

* * *

Meredith came off of the elevator, Derek's hand in hers as they stalked down the hallway. They walked silently down the corridors until they found Alex standing near a room. "What happened?"She asked.

"Izzie's in there with her...I was actually on my way back in."Alex replied, hand poised against his hip. "We were at the house, just after dinner...Elizabeth started crying and getting upset. Izzie felt her head and she was...well, Elizabeth was running a high fever. We felt it was only right to bring her here."

Meredith nodded, sighing. "Thanks, Alex."

"Do they know what's wrong?"Derek asked, fear creeping into his voice. He clutched Meredith's hand, giving it a squeeze.

Alex shook his head, gesturing towards the the door. "Elizabeth and Iz in there now. I was actually going to call you guys again..."He said, looking at Derek.

"The phone's on silent. It's a good thing Mer's wasn't."He said as they walked into the room.

"Mer.."Izzie said as she saw them. "I'm sorry for-"

"Don't apoligize, Izzie. It's okay. How is she?"Meredith asked, freeing her hand from Derek's as she moved to the bed. "It'll be okay, sweetie..."She whispered, kissing Elizabeth on the forehead.

Derek walked to the other side of Elizabeth's bed, reaching towards her hospital bracelet. He saw the look in his daughter's blue eyes and knew that she was confused about everything that was happening. "They're coming?"He asked, worried.

"That's what they said...they hurried us in here as quick as they could. It's pretty packed tonight, but..."Just as Izzie was speaking, a fellow doctor entered the room.

"Elizabeth Grey-Shepherd...twenty one months...fever of one hundred-one degrees...has she had any symptoms the past few days?"The doctor asked, noting the fear in their eyes.

"She had a cold. We gave her the medicine that we could, and she seemed fine. She was fine when we left earlier this evening."Meredith replied to him.

"Well, I'd like to perform tests so we can get a clearer idea of what's happening. I'll be back."

"Dr.Williams?"Derek asked, not able to stay silent the entire time. "Thank you." As the door shut, he sunk in his chair, pressing a fist to his lips. "She's gonna be okay."

Elizabeth began breathing heavily again, to which Meredith started rubbing her back. "It'll be okay, baby. Shh..."

"Mommy..."Elizabeth managed to mutter.

As they waited, a nurse entered the room to check Elizabeth, along with asking several questions. All the while Derek sat holding Elizabeth's tiny hand, thinking of how much the night had changed. An hour before, he had been ready to propose, and now he was waiting to make sure his daughter would be okay. "We're doctors. We're doctors, and we can't-"

"Derek."Meredith protested. "You can't say that. She'll be okay, for all we know it could be something very small and..."She looked at their daughter, who at the moment was clearly fighting sleep. "You can sleep for now, baby. When the doctor comes back in, we'll know what's wrong and we can take you how as soon as we can."

"I could go check on the test results...see what's taking so long."Izzie offered, feeling helpless as they sat there.

"You're fine, Izzie."Meredith insisted, holding her daughter's hand. She looked across the bed at Derek before looking back at her. "But thank you."

Izzie nodded, sitting back in the chair against the wall.

"Does anyone need anything?-Water, coffee?"Alex asked. "We might be here for a while."

"I'm fine."Derek replied, not taking his eyes off of Elizabeth.

"Could you grab me a water, Alex?"Meredith asked, reaching for her purse.

"No, I'll get it."Alex insisted, looking to Izzie who asked for one as well.

"Mer..."Derek whispered. "She's so tired."

"Are you cold?"Meredith asked her, rubbing the side of her face. "She's shivering. Derek, she's-"

Derek stood, slipping his arms out of his suit jacket. Straightening it out, he shrugged. "It's the best I can do for now. I'd grab an extra blanket, but-"

"Derek, it works."Meredith said to him, smiling as he placed it carefully around Elizabeth. "As long as she's comfortable..."She trailed off, watching as her eyelids fluttered.

Sitting back down in his chair, Derek stared across the hospital bed at Meredith. Watching her interact with their daughter, he began to understand her just a little bit more. In surgery, Meredith was one of the fiercest. Granted, she still had a few tweaks and nervous moments if something went wrong but she was always her best under pressure. It was the same in situations like these with her family, and it was one of the many reasons Derek loved her.

Meredith looked on as Elizabeth's chills slowly subsided. "I love you, baby."

Derek nodded, his mouth dry. "Me too, 'Lizabeth...we'll find out the results soon, and we'll take you home. Everything will be better."

"I just feel so bad. She's had a cold the past few days, but she seemed fine, you know? And you guys were out to dinner, I'm sorry it had to be interrupted."Izzie said, standing to walk towards them.

"It's fine, I understand."Derek replied. He sighed, content that for the moment everything was quiet and traquil. It was what Elizabeth needed to remain calm.

Alex quietly entered the room, several bottles in hand. "I passed Doctor Williams in the hallway. I think he might be headed this way."He said, handing Meredith her water. "The little one looks tired."He laughed, sitting down across the room.

"So you didn't take too long."Izzie said, joining him. "I'm just...worried, you know?"

Nodding, Alex watched as she struggled to take the cap off of her water. "Need help?"Alex asked.

Izzie shook her head, finally taking it off. "See, I can do things by myself."

Just then, the doctor came back into the room. He looked first at Derek, who tensed up in his chair, and then at Meredith, nervously biting her lip as her hand stroked Elizabeth's hair. "Doctor Shepherd, Doctor Grey..."He began. "It seems as if Elizabeth has a virus. The cause is, apparently, the cold as you mentioned. At this moment, there isn't anything necessarily that we can do. I suggest you return home, continuing with the regimen you've been following with her...I have here medication safe enough for her to take, but as always...bring her in if there are any issues."

"Thank you."Derek replied, standing to shake the man's hand.

He nodded, laughing a little. "I have a daughter of my own at home, I can understand when someone comes in concerned. Have a good night."

Once he left, Meredith breathed a sigh of relief. "All of this for a virus...it was scary."

"I know, Mer."Derek whispered in reply.

"I could carry her."Izzie offered, knowing someone needed to officially sign the release. "You two are tired, I know. So if it's okay-"

"Sure."Meredith replied. "You know she loves you."

"Of course she does."Izzie replied, carefully picking her up. "I'm aunt Izzie, the nice one. You know, compared to Cristina."

Derek nodded as he watched the interaction. He knew they needed to check at the nurses' station prior to leaving, so he asked Meredith to go down and make sure Elizabeth's carseat would be carefully placed back inside his car. As he headed out, he ran into Cristina as she was heading down the hall. "Nice...running into you, Doctor Yang."

"Shepherd."Cristina muttered, tightening her hair band. "Why are you here?"

"Elizabeth was sick..Karev and Izzie brought her in."Derek said, sighing as he looked towards the door. "Pulling extra hours?"

"You bet. What with everything I've been doing lately, why not?"Cristina asked, noting the way he fidgeted. "Is something wrong? I mean, if my neice and Mer are out there..."

"I know, I need to go. I just needed to sign a few things...you know, obligatory. Listen, Cristina..."Derek said, clearing his throat. "I need to-well, I need to talk to you. You're Mer's person and I just...well, you drink coffee, right?"

Cristina blinked, crossing her arms as she carefully checked her watch. "Still do yes, why? Are you offering to buy me one, because right now, I have-"

"Tomorrow morning? Deal?"Derek asked, his stomach in a bunch of nerves.

Cristina nodded as he headed out, noting the nervousness Derek had held in his smile. She headed to the elevator, shaking her head as she did. Some things never changed.

* * *

Meredith rocked Elizabeth silently to sleep, all the while knowing Derek was standing watch in the doorway. Slowly getting up, she placed their daughter safely in bed, turning to face him. "I gave her the medicine as soon as we got home, so hopefully she'll sleep..."She said, wrapping her arms around him.

Derek smirked, his shirt sleeves rolled up as his arms were balanced against the door frame. "I love you, Mer."He said, one hand coming down to cup her cheek.

"I love you, too."Meredith whispered, her fingers twisting amongst the hair that whisped the back of his neck. "Mmm...so...I was thinking that I could take a shower. It'd give me a chance to relax a little. But after that, well..we have work tomorrow. But with Elizabeth sick-"

"Mer.."Derek assured, bracing her against himself with his arms. "We'll be okay. Got it?"

Closing her eyes, Meredith nodded. "Got it. I'm going to look in on her really quick, I'll be right in."She assured him, watching as Derek still stood there. "You might as well get ready now."

"I know."Derek replied, staring back at her, his blue eyes shining in the moonlight. Nodding, he flashed Meredith a smile. "I'll see you in the room. Maybe if I'm lucky I can be cleaned up quicker than you."

"Somehow I don't doubt that..."Meredith replied, kissing him. Pulling back, she nodded as Derek left to get ready for bed. As she turned to take one last look at Elizabeth's room before following him herself, she let out a content sigh. At the hospital, things were fast-paced and hectic. Still, at home with Derek and Elizabeth, knowing that she had the friends who'd help her if need be, Meredith knew she'd be alright. It was something she was growing to count on.


	29. Proposal Interruptus

**Author's Note: Thank you to all of those who reviewed the last chapter. Less than one month until the new season-yay! Okay so that really isn't the point seeing as this is set in the future anyway, but still. I changed a few things I had planned for this chapter, but I'm pretty sure that you'll still like it. And as always, if you have any ideas just let me know. Leave a review, please!**

* * *

Cristina tapped her nails anxiously against that cafeteria table, bringing her coffee to her mouth. "Doctor Shepherd?"She asked, knowing there had to have been a reason he wanted to speak with her. 

Derek nodded, sitting up in his chair. "I know you don't have much time, so-"

"Is this about Mer? Because I swear Derek, if you-"

"I didn't."Derek protested before she could finish. "But it is. About Meredith, I mean."He said, clutching the styrofoam cup in his hand. "To be honest, I'm not sure why I asked to talk to you. It just felt like I should."

Cristina nodded, taking another sip. "Okay. So, what about...Meredith...is there to talk about? She's a devoted mother, still an amazing surgeon. She loves you, she's happy...is something wrong?"

Derek pressed a fist to his lips, slowly blowing out a puff of air. "No, not entirely. You two have always been close you know, I mean...there was a time when she never really talked to anyone, but you two were family. Are family. I get that Thatcher is still around somewhere, and traditionally I would talk to them about this."Derek paused, staring back at Cristina before continuing. "I love Meredith. I know that in the past that hasn't been that obvious, but I've never stopped. I can act like a jerk, but whenevr I am you're usually there to-well...despite my being your boss, kick my ass. So you see, I just...needed to, sort of get it all out in the open."

"I see. So, the whole reason for you buying me a coffee was so you could tell me that you love my best friend? Despite history, I think that fact is painfully clear."Cristina replied, noting a hint of nervousness as Derek sat. "No offense or whatever."

Derek smiled, laughing as he did. "Thanks. I just...you know Mer, you know. I know that I do, but you're her best friend. Cristina..."He trailed off, waiting to see how she responded. When she simply looked at him, he nodded. "Meredith-she's the love of my life. I know it's cliche', and I get that it sounds rediculous. But it's true. Our family...I've never been happier. I want that...for good."

"So you're-"Cristina paused as a smirk spread across Derek's face. "You're..proposing? Seriously? Wait, and you're...I mean, this is you asking for my permission?"She asked, amused.

"Not exactly, it's more like telling you my plan, but yes I guess you could say I am."Derek surmised. He set his coffee on the table, folding his hands under his chin "So?"

Cristina looked down at her coffee, trying to formulate her words before speaking. "There were times in the past when I just didn't get it, you know? I mean, it made sense of course. It was obvious that she loved you, that you loved her. The Mcloving Mclife. Meredith and her McDreamy."She said, face suddenly growing serious. "You, Mer, Elizabeth...that's what, I guess you could say, family is supposed to be like."

Nodding, Derek listened intently to her words.

"So, as far as yes or no or whatever answer, I can't give you that for sure. Because I'm not Meredith. I can tell you that you seem to make her happy, which is good. Ask her."Cristina replied, realizing how relieved Derek looked.

"Thanks, Doctor Yang. Cristina. It's right."He replied, grateful.

Cristina noted that her coffee was gone, and looking up at Derek, nodded. "Well, thank you for the coffee. And um, I'm assuming this falls under the "don't tell her" category?"

"I'm planning for it to be soon, but yes."Derek said to her, straightening his jacket before standing with her.

"Good."Cristina replied. "Good. Oh, but just for the record...if you ever do hurt her, or my neice...I really will seriously kick your ass. I'm pretty sure Alex, George and Izzie won't be that far behind."

"Understood."Derek said, nodding in agreement. "I wouldn't expect it to be any other way."

* * *

Later that day, Derek was walking down the hallway, checking in with Meredith on the phone. She had agreed to stay home that day, in an effort to make sure that Elizabeth was truly okay. In exchange, Meredith would work a longer shift the next day. Leaning against the wall, Derek nodded. "Yes, so how is she?" 

"She's...good. Sleeping, actually. Which is good."Meredith replied simply as she settled onto the couch after having checked on Elizabeth again. "She needs her rest."

"Yes, she does. How about you?"Derek asked.

Meredith bit her lip, shrugging though he couldn't see her. "I'm still worried, but her spirits seem up. She told me earlier that her stomach hurt, but we have that handled. Everything's fine, Derek."

He smiled softly, chuckling under his breath. "Well, it's good to hear. I've gotta go check on a patient. I'll see you when I get home?"

"Sounds good. I'll...see you when you get here. I love you."Meredith added, smiling a little.

Derek nodded once more as he began walking again. "I love you, too Mer. Bye."He slipped his phone into his pocket, proceeding to his patient's room. He felt better somehow after talking to Meredith. Though he was certain everything would be fine, just knowing that his daughter could have been hurting sent him into pain himself.

After leaving his patient's room, Derek looked down the hallway towards him. Sighing, he anticipated the conversation he knew he was going to have. "Mark."He greeted him.

"You chickened out, didn't you? I figured by now it'd be hospital gossip if you didn't."Mark said in reply.

"I tried. I was about to, when Mer got a call from Izzie. They had to bring Elizabeth in, apparently that cold she's been having turned out to be a virus."Derek replied, staring at his shoes as they walked.

Mark's eyes grew serious as he frowned. "Is she okay? I didn't know."

Derek shook his head, understanding why Mark was concerned. "She's better now-sleeping, actually. Mer's with her today."

"Oh. Well, that's good."Mark said. "So tonight?"

"Maybe. I don't know."Derek replied.

"What do you mean you don't know, Derek? Why all of a sudden are you so worried?"He asked, staring at him.

Letting out a sigh, Derek shook his head. "I'm not worried. It just...it has to be-"

"Perfect? Yeah, well Derek no offense, but I'm pretty sure there is no such thing as perfect. Including you."Mark deadpanned.

"Thanks, that helps me so much."Derek replied sarcastically.

"Hey, just doing what a best man is supposed to do. You know, not knock you down...but let you know that it's okay to be nervous and whatever."Mark said, laughing as Derek turned in his direction. "What?"He asked.

"Seriously? I haven't even asked her yet, and you're already claiming a spot in the ceremony?"Derek asked, watched as Mark grinned.

"Sorry, you know...I guess I sort of assumed. I mean it's not like you're gonna pick Karev or O'Malley...Burke, maybe. But come on..."Mark replied, shrugging. "I guess I should have thought first."

Derek shook his head as they continued to walk. "Well, considering...I guess you would be the appropriate choice."He said, taking a nervous breath as he did. "Just don't make me regret it."

"Oh, I won't."Mark assured him as they reached the nurses' station. "Well, I have to check on a post-op. I'll catch you later?"

"Sure thing. And seriously, if you breathe a word of this to Mer-"

"I won't."Mark said, holding up his hands. "Thanks, man. It you know, means a lot."

* * *

That night, Derek returned home, and everyone ate dinner together. Elizabeth caused a mess when she knocked over her plate of mashed potatoes, but the mess was cleared up without any hurt feelings. Alex and Izzie took up the couch, playing a game on the new game system they bought, while Meredith sat on the porch as Derek gave Elizabeth a bath.

"She's ready."Derek said from the doorway.

In the swing, Meredith turned towards him, offering a smile. "Good."

He smiled, slowly slinking towards her before sitting down. "So you had fun today?"

Meredith laughed, her eyes shining. "I guess you could say so. I'm working late tomorrow, though..so could you just put her to bed. I can come in after."

Derek nodded, wrapping his arms around her. "Don't worry about it, Mer."He said. "I'll put Elizabeth down. After that...whatever happens. But you do realize that me getting full range of your house-"

"It's your house, too. I mean you're allowed to stay at the trailer...you know, if you wanted. But you practically live here."Meredith replied. "Don't take that as a complaint, by the way."

He shook his head. "I don't. Before we know it, the house will be finished. Do you think you can put up with me every hour of the day?"

"I already do, don't I?"Meredoth asked. When Derek didn't respond, she was worried that he might have been offended. "I didn't mean-"

"Shh..."Derek whispered, placing his finger across her lips. He darted his tongue out to moisten his lips. While he enjoyed the times they were all together as a family, it was moments with just Meredith that, though few, he learned to treasure the most. "It's okay."

Meredith nodded, inching closer to him.

"Okay, so-"Derek said, shifting slightly. He could feel the object in his pocket, but didn't want Meredith to detect it. If there was anything that could go wrong with what he had planned, that had to have been it. "-I just...I was trying to get to something last night. You know, before everything that happened."

"Oh?"Meredith asked, curious.

Derek smiled in return. "Yeah, I was. I just, I wasn't really sure of how to say it."

"Why? Is something wrong?"She asked, a concerned look gracing her face.

"No, no. Not at all."Derek replied, wanting to reassure her. "It's the opposite of that actually. Partly because of you. Partly because, well..."Derek shrugged, a nervous breath escaping him. "Because of you. I love you. I know I've said that, I've said a lot of things. Some of those things may not have made sense, but they needed to be said. This, I feel, needs to be said. You...you're...it."Derek said, blue eyes shining. "You, me, Elizabeth...that's the kind of thing I've wanted for as long as I can remember. I love the hospital, I do. But to have a family to come home to, it's just...I dunno, it makes sense. This makes sense."

Meredith's eyes held a hint of nervousness, but as she felt Derek's arms aound her, she knew that he was sure.

"Meredith...I just-"Derek struggled with his words, trying to find the perfect thing to say. As much as he wanted that, he remembered what Mark had said earlier. Realizing this, Derek chose to just go with what he felt and see where it took him. "As cheesy as it sounds, I've loved you since I saw you at Joe's. We were just two people in a bar, and now this. This is good. I...love this. Meredith, I guess what I'm trying to say is, well, there's no perfect moment. I mean, there are...moments. But you plan, and you rehearse, and something always happens."He said, drumming up all of the courage he could. As he sat there on the front porch, watching the look in Meredith's eyes, Derek didn't think he'd find a more perfect moment. "Marry me."Derek whispered, all the love he could concentrate in his eyes.

Her mouth hung open, words escaping her. Anything she'd dreamed of, the moment she'd wanted for so long, was actually happening. "Derek, I...Ye-"She stopped at the sound of beeping coming from a chair nearby. She groaned, realizing what it was from. "Derek."

He was disappointed, but firmly stood up, walking to his jacket pocket. He frowned at what he saw, knowing he was needed at the hospital. "See this...this is why I don't like the hospital."

"Derek."

"No, I mean really. I'm not even on call. Well, I guess you could say I am, seeing as there's always a chance. Still, I-"

"Derek."Meredith again protested.

He waived his hands in the air, sighing in frustration. "Do they even care? No, of course not. I save lives. I stitch people up. I get that. I just-"

"DEREK!"Meredith shouted a little too loudly, causing Izzie to poke her head out of the curtains. Once she saw what was happened, she quickly exited.

Derek stared at her, a silence grasping him.

"Yes."


	30. Rooftops and Invitations

**Author's Note: So something happened as I was going over the last chapter. See, during the final scene, Meredith asked if everything was okay, when she was actually supposed to ask if something was wrong. As I read what Derek's reply was afteward, I couldn't believe that I hadn't picked up on that. Anyway, it's been replaced now-I'm not sure if you noticed or not, but I felt like it needed to be changed. **

**I'm not too sure how I feel in regards this chapter-I mean I love it, of course. Things are a little lighter. But I really love the end. **

**With that over, here's Chapter 30. Wow, Chapter 30...it's been a while. So anyway, the letters/notes are returning again, though not as frequent as in the beginning of the story. Enjoy--and please leave me a review!**

* * *

Derek felt all of the air rush out of him, silence filling the front porch after Meredith uttered her reply. "Yes..."he repeated, waiting for a sign. 

Meredith offered a smile, taking the few steps that were left between them before nodding. "Yes."

Fighting a lump that had formed in his throat, Derek was reminded of the hospital, and of how they needed him. His lips grazed over hers, offering the assurance that they both needed. "Just so you know-"Derek whispered, a smirk on his face. "This isn't exactly how I planned on ending how I proposed."He said, shrugging. "We'll celebrate...tomorrow?"

Meredith nodded before going back inside, feeling lighter than she had before.

* * *

In a mess of pillows and comforters, Meredith woke up the next morning. Lifting herself on her elbows, she realized Derek's side of the bed was empty. She frowned, looking around the room. While she knew he'd gotten called to the hospital the night before, Meredith hoped that he would have made it home in time for her to wake up. It wasn't until she noted a folded note on the nightstand that she realized he had. 

_Mer..._

_This really isn't how I planned on starting things, I swear. Last night was...hectic to say the least. And I'm sorry for leaving like I did. I'm going to the hospital for a scheduled surgery, but other than that the rest of my day is free. Near the end of your shift-actually, near the end of my shift-I'll page you. See, because I have a feeling we need to talk about some things. In a good way, I promise._

_And just so you know...there is a ring. You'll see._

_I love you,_

_Der_

Meredith folded the note up again, a faint smile escaping her as she settled back into the pillows again. As hectic as their life was, it was good to know that Derek was a constant in her life. She knew he was, but the reality that they were engaged, that they were getting married settled in on her as thoughts of the day ahead invaded her.

When she entered the kitchen that morning, she saw Izzie placing a plate in front of Alex. "Breakfast, huh?"

"Oh, morning Mer."Izzie called, licking syrup from her thumb. "Want some?"

"Sure. I'm hoping Elizabeth is up to going into the center today. I mean, she should be. I'll wake her up soon."Meredith replied, walking over to the coffee maker.

"You're gonna have to wait..."Izzie called, her back turned. "Alex just got the last cup."

"You just got the last cup?"Meredith mused, shaking her head. "Orange juice it is."

Alex watched as Meredith poured herself a cup. As he set his fork back on his plate, he felt the need to ask her something. "So what was with that hollering last night?"

"Hollering?"Meredith asked, remembering how Izzie had come to the window the night before. "Oh, nothing. We're good."

"Good?"Izzie asked, handing her a plate.

Meredith bit her lip, wondering if she should tell them. Derek had proposed, but as of yet, she'd told noone. It made sense she thought, seeing as she didn't actually have a ring to prove it. But in truth, Meredith thought she didn't need a ring when she had Derek. The thought brought a smile to her lips.

"Okay, I know breakfast is good, but that grin is just...it's kinda creepy, Grey."Alex said as Meredith sat at the table.

Meredith shrugged. "Sorry. I'm okay."

"Are you?"

"Why are you so mean this morning?"Izzie teased, sitting down at the table.

"Me?"Alex asked, looking around. "Meredith's the one grinning like the Cheshire cat."

"True."Izzie noted, turning her attention towards Meredith. "Do you want to tell us?"

Meredith sat back, exchanging a look with her. Was it really that obvious?

* * *

Meredith took Elizabeth to daycare that morning before going to the hospital. She was on her way to greet some of the interns before a hand came through, stopping the elevator doors from closing. 

"Morning, Meredith."Mark said, grinning as he entered, Addison in tow.

"Morning."Meredith replied.

Mark and Addison settled against the back wall while Meredith stayed on the side, finally realizing Mark was looking over at her. "What?"He asked innocently.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on here?"Addison asked.

"I'm riding the elevator to get to work. Where's the harm in that?"Mark asked, pretending to be offended. "How could you think anything less than that, Addy?"

Addison rolled her eyes, laughing a little. "Well, Meredith...it's nice to see you back here today. How's Elizabeth?"

Thankful for something to talk about, she nodded. "She seemed fine when I dropped her off this morning."

"That's good to hear."Addison remarked, nodding before looking back at Mark. "Seriously?"

"What?"Mark asked, shrugging.

"You're..being you. About..."Addison trailed off as the doors opened. She looked at Meredith, sighing. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize...everyone's a little...different today."Meredith said, noting how Mark muttered something kin to 'chicken' under his breath before stepping off of the elevator.

* * *

Meredith was speaking with an intern in the hallway when she saw Derek approaching them. "I need the labs for Mr.Harrison delivered as soon as possible. If it's cancerous, we'll need to schedule an operation." 

"I know, I get it right away. Sorry, Doctor Grey."The nervous girl muttered before walking away.

Derek, who was leaning against the wall, stood straight before walking towards her. "Hey."

Meredith offered a smile, nodding. "Hey."

"Did I mention how much I love to watch you work?"Derek asked, tilting his head a little to the side.

"That?"Meredith asked, referring to what had just happened. "That kind of thing happens all of the time."

"True."Derek replied, swaying back and forth. "So does that mean you're free?"

"Free? Not exactly, but I have a few minutes."Meredoth replied, noting how disappointed Derek looked. "Derek?"She asked, her stomach wrapping into a bunch of nerves. While she knew that in all likelihood everything would be okay, the look on Derek's face told her that something was bothering him. "If you still want to talk-"

"I do. I mean, I still do. When I said we needed to talk...I mean I didn't-"Derek paused, staring down at the linoleum. Any other person, let along any other situation, he would have known exactly what to say. But this was Meredith. _His_ Meredith. "It's not bad."

"Good."Meredith replied, realizing how nervous Derek seemed. "It doesn't have to be perfect, you know."She said. When Derek looked up at her, Meredith let out a laugh. "The way that it happened is okay, Derek. We're good. We're happy. I mean I, well I haven't exactly told anyone. But that's okay, right?"

"You deserve perfect."Derek defended. "And that's what I want to give you."

Meredith saw the determined look in Derek's eyes, and knew that he was sure. She'd never had anyone tell her anything like that except Derek, and even in a busy hospital hallway it seemed as if they were alone; as if they were the only two people there.

* * *

The message told her to meet him on the hospital roof at six. There Meredith was, slightly chilled, standing on the hospital roof. As she looked around, she realized that Derek was nowhere to be found. Until she heard the footsteps behind her. 

"There's really nowhere in this place to be alone."Derek said as he reached her. "Except up here."

Meredith nodded, shivering a little. "It's okay."

"But you're cold."Derek said, wrapping his arms around her. "Is that better?"

Meredith nodded against his chest, breathing the moment in. She loved him. She'd realized that so many times, known it for the longest time. But as she felt Derek's arms holding her close, Meredith knew. Meredith knew that this was supposed to be-that this was how it should be.

"So I have something for you."Derek said, pulling back a little. His hand slid into his pocket, pulling out a box. "I might have a had a little help, but I picked it out."

Meredith's eyes misted over, staring at the ring Derek got her. "Derek, I..."

"You hate it, don't you? If you do-"Derek paused, his breath hitching in his chest as he saw the look in her eyes when she looked up at him. "You love it."

"I didn't need a ring, Derek. We're...not exactly gift people. But it's beautiful."Meredith said, her hands shaking. "I love you."She whispered.

Derek nodded, pulling the ring out of the box. "I love you, too."He said, securely sliding it onto her finger. Sliding the box back into his pocket, Derek leaned in close, poised to kiss her. "Will you, Mer? I mean, I supposed we should do this the right way. Will you marry me?"

They weren't the traditional couple. They didn't do things the way everyone else did. They made their own path, that was for sure. But some things just stayed the same. Meredith's hands linked behind Derek's neck as she nodded. "Yes. So how about we seal the deal?"

Derek grinned, his blue eyes shining in the fading Seattle sun. "I thought you'd never ask."Derek whispered before taking her lips in his, relishing every second. Pulling his lips away from hers, he felt her breath softly against him. "So I guess this means we have to tell people?"

"Eventually. You know, our people. And invitations. Ceremomy."Meredith muttered, distracted by the way Derek was looking at her. "But right now, this is good for me."


	31. There's No Need to Worry

**Author's Note: So I need to apoligize for not writing this sooner. The truth is, I have had this rather annoying writer's block for the past two weeks or so in which anything that I write seems worthless. I apoligize for that, and for getting caught up in everything else I have going on.**

**In any case, this chapter takes an interesting turn. But the turn, I believe, is one that they need to take. So if you would, please leave me a review once you're done reading-it'll be v****ery much appreciated!**

* * *

Meredith and Derek were sitting on the couch writing things on a notepad when Izzie walked in. "Hey."Meredith said. 

"Hey...what are you two doing? Wait, do I even want to know?"She asked, wincing as she sat on the arm of the chair.

Derek smirked, laughing a little. "We're just writing down some things that we'll need...things to remember."

"Oh. So hey, can you remember unhideous bridesmaids dresses? I mean, I wouldn't mind."Izzie said, grinning.

"Okay...so that's one more thing in my column."Meredith sighed, shaking your head. "But honestly, you're the one who would be making us wear something ridiculous. You know, if it were you getting married."

Izzie raised an eyebrow as she drank her cup of coffee. "What do you mean? Are you saying I have bad taste?"

"Well you are with Karev."Derek commented.

Meredith hit his arm, still laughing as she did. "You know he can hear you."

"Yeah, well...I'm not the one writing wedding ideas in columns."Izzie replied, getting up to walk out of the room.

"See, now you made Izzie mad."Meredith mused.

"I did not make Izzie mad. Did I?"Derek asked, curious.

"You did. And angry Izzie equals no pancakes tomorrow."Meredith said, trying her best to sound serious.

"I tell you what...I'll go apologize...get us some drinks. You..can work on the list."Derek replied, kissing her before walking out of the room.

Meredith sat tapping her pen rhythmically against the notepad. She stared at the columns, counting the numbers on each. She had several things written down, but nothing that was too hugely specific. Derek, however, had detailed things, even going so far as to name their possible song to dance to. Sighing, Meredith looked up to see that he had entered the room again.

"Anymore ideas?"He asked, a smirk on his face. Derek sat back down and placing an arm around her shoulder, saw that nothing had changed. "Oh, well that's okay. We have time, right?"

"We have time. We haven't even set a date."Meredith replied, still feeling a little anxious about the whole thing. While she loved Derek, and wanted nothing more than to be tied to him-more than they already were through Elizabeth-the idea of them standing in front of tons of people wasn't her idea of a good time. "Derek, how many people are you inviting?"

He thought about it for a minute, scrolling over everyone whom he had thought of that would be coming. Looking back at her, Derek nodded. "You get that most of the people I'd invite would be on your list, right?"

"Cristina, Burke...Izzie, Alex, George...Callie-"Meredith said, sighing. "I don't know. I mean, Mark and Addison of course. What about Richard?"She said, finding it weird to utter the former chief's name.

"Of course he'd want to come. Which would mean him and probably Adele. Why are you so worried about this now, Mer? We've got a while."

Meredith tucked her arm tightly around Derek's waist, allowing her head to sink onto his shoulder. "I know that. I don't know Derek, there's just...I mean do you realize everything it takes to put together a wedding? And the guests...I don't want this big huge deal. Just a few people and a minister or whatever. I'm happy with that."

"You're happy with that."Derek repeated, not finding that fact surprising. Meredith was never one to over do things, and that was one of the things he happened to love about her. Still as they sat there, the thought couldn't help but cross his mind. "But you do realize that my mother will want to meet you."

"She will."Meredith replied, not realizing what he meant.

"No, Mer-"Derek said, adjusting his position on the couch. "Before we get married. It doesn't have to be that big of a deal. We could fly out on a weekend to see her, it would be a nice little vacation for the three of us."

A feeling stirred Meredith's stomach in the form of guilt. "Der, you realize that she probably already has her opinion made about me, right?"

"What do you mean?"Derek asked.

"Well, for starters, I'm the one that broke up the golden couple. From what I heard from Nancy when she came down that one time...and from everything else that's been happening..."Meredith sat, shaking her head. She sighed, staring at him. "Especially after what I did in keeping Elizabeth from you. Derek, I'm..."

"You don't need to apologize."Derek assured her as he brought his hand to her cheek. "And don't worry about it, my mother will love you."

Meredith shook her head, feeling that it couldn't be the truth. "There's no way that you could know that."

"Seriously, Mer? I mean, I was raised by the woman. I've seen her at her worst, and I've seen her at her best. Just because Nancy was so cold doesn't mean that the whole Shepherd clan is. Trust me, Mer..we'll work this through."He said, somehow finding Meredith's worry cute.

"Maybe. It's just-"Meredith paused, waving her hands in the air. "I have this reputation, and she might think that I'd up and run again. Which I won't, because I love you and Elizabeth. But that doesn't mean that your mom would believe me."

"Okay, see this is when you need to listen to me, Meredith."Derek said, moistening his lips before speaking. "You don't have to worry. We'll fly up there, you two can talk a little. She makes this amazing green bean casserole that I'm sure you'll love. Not to mention the fact that she has a very adorable granddaughter to spoil."He added with a smile. "So are you up for it?"

Meredith felt Derek's hand holding firm to hers. Biting her lip, she knew that it was obviously something that he wanted and while she had hesitations she knew that it was only right. "But what if it doesn't work out?"

"Then we'll find a way to handle things. Just trust me Mer, everything will be fine."Derek said again as he gave her hand a squeeze. "So?"

Cracking a smile, she shrugged. "Okay."Meredith whispered, leaning in to kiss him. She let her lips linger, knowing that this time they would stay.

* * *

Meredith was writing something in a patient's file when she heard Cristina walk up next to her. "What?"She asked, studying her amused look. 

Cristina shrugged as she let out a laugh. "Nothing...but you roommates can be talkative. Word down the hall is that you're going to visit your future mother-in-law."

"Izzie told you, huh?"Meredith asked, flipping the folder shut. "I don't have anything to worry about."

Cristina thought a moment before nodding. "Yeah, that's true. I'm sure nothing can compare to Mama Burke."She mused as they stood near the coffee cart. "So what brought this trip up, anyway?"

Meredith shrugged, emptying a sugar packet into her cup. "I've never met her before and I'm about to marry her son. It's natural that we're supposed to meet beforehand, right?"

"True, but you aren't nervous at all about meeting her?"Cristina asked, raising an eyebrow.

"So now you're afraid for me?"Meredith asked, wondering where the concern was coming from. "Honestly? I'm not afraid. I mean, I am...what with the whole dark and twisted past thing just lingering beyond the corner. And then of course there's the fact that she suddenly has another granddaughter that she knew nothing about. But really, I don't have anything to worry about, do I?"

Cristina studied Meredith's nervous nature, and slowly began to step away. "You're not about to explode, are you? Because I might have to alert the janitor to come clean you up."

"I'm not worried. Besides, the woman is Derek's mother. Given the fact that my own mother is no longer here, and of course the fact that when she was she never really cared for me...I've already seen the worst."Meredith mused, sighing as she heard her pager beeping loudly. She looked over to Cristina just in time to see that hers was sounding as well. "911...looks like we better go."

Cristina sighed, throwing her cup into the trash. "So much for a break."

* * *

Pulling the mask from her face, Meredith leaned against the door of the scrub room. She thought to the conversation she had been having before she got pulled into surgery and knew that eventually she'd have to catch up with Cristina again. For the moment though, she had to wash up prior to speaking with the patient's parents, whom she had been told were waiting patiently in the waiting room. It wouldn't be that hard, Meredith thought, meeting Derek's mother. If anything, it'd be easier than the time Derek had met hers. 

She made her way down the hall and spotted the couple who looked to be in their early forties sitting in the corner. "Mrs.Craig?"Meredith called to see the brunette woman's head pop up.

"Is she okay? Please tell me Jamie's alright."The woman said, clinging to a tissue.

Meredith took a breath before continuing. "Jamie received extensive damage in the crash. She began hemorrhaging during surgery, but another doctor and me were able to repair the damage before anything more extensive was done. Mrs.Criag clung desperately to her husband's arm, but at Meredith's comment seemed to pipe up a little. "So can we go and see her?"

"She's in the I.C.U. for now, so until she wakes up I think it's best that you wait here. After I check on her to make sure everything is working as well as it should, you can go in to see her."

"Can I ask you something?"Mr.Craig piped up, fishing a tissue out of his pocket before handing it to his wife. "Do you know who was in the other car?"

"Well, no."Meredith said, slightly put off by his question.

"It's just...we had to drive by the crash site on the way here unfortunately...and my wife and I-"The man paused, shaking his head. "The other car didn't look good. I just thought that if we knew their name we could pray for them, too."

Meredith understood, but shifted her feet uncomfortably. "I understand. Well, I need to go check on Jamie. I'll be sure to keep you posted."She said, walking out into the hall. As she did, she came across a distraught looking Derek. "Hey..."

"Meredith."Derek sighed, stopping as he saw her.

She frowned, crossing her arms. "You were in with the surgery on the patient from the other car, weren't you? Did something happen?"

"Mer, there's-"Derek stopped, shaking his head. In truth, he had no idea of how to tell her.

"What? Derek, what's wrong? You were perfectly fine this morning."Meredith said, studying the saddened looking etched in Derek's deep blue eyes. Her voice grew quiet as she knew then that something was wrong. "Derek?"

"I'm not sure if this will matter to you, but there's something you should know about the person from the other car."He said, his hand brushing against her shoulder.

"What is it?"She asked.

Derek nodded, breathing out slowly before returning his gaze to her. "It was...the man in the other car was Thatcher."


	32. I've Never Looked Back

**Author's Note: I know, I left it at a cliff hanger. The truth is this fic still has a little while to go, so I'm sorry if it seems like it's going epic. In any case, please leave me a review. It helps more than you know. Thanks!**

* * *

Meredith set down the aged magazine and continued to stare at the wall. She heard somehow sit next to her, and turned to see who it was.

Derek stared back at her, slowly sliding his hand into hers. "How are you holding up?"

"I don't know."Meredith replied, shaking her head. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel."

"About your father?"He asked, afraid to approach the subject. Derek gave her hand a squeeze, wanting to at least let her know he was there.

"About any of this. A few hours ago, we were talking about going to meet your mother. Now, my father is-"Meredith sighed, shaking her head. "He's here in the hospital. When he wakes up, he'll probably want to speak with me. And the worst part? I'm not that sure that I'd want to."

Derek nodded in return before offering a shrug. "You do what you feel is right, Mer. He's still recovering, so you have time."He said, keeping a firm grip on her. Taking Meredith's appearance in, Derek knew that she was struggling to hold everything together. While he knew Meredith had always had problems where Thatcher was concerned, he knew that this couldn't have made matters any better.

Meredith stared down at the floor of the waiting room, hoping she could find a way to concentrate. "We should go."She said, popping her head up. "Elizabeth needs to be picked up from the daycare center. If we're more than ten minutes late, we owe extra."

"True."Derek replied, reaching out his hand to keep Meredith sitting. "You should stay here, though. We could have Izzie pick her up, she's already on the permitted list."

"Derek, we need to go pick her up."Meredith defended, an icy chill suddenly surrounding her.

"Mer-"Derek said, moving to the table that currently sat in front of them. He took her hands in his, staring directly into her eyes. Getting through to Meredith wasn't always easy, but Derek knew he'd feel horrible if he didn't try. "Your father is here in this hospital. I know that you two have had your problems, and that there probably won't ever be anything that could alleviate all of that. Still, Thatcher is your father...no matter how you want to look at it."Derek said, stopping to take a breath. He moistened his lips before continuing. "I have to stay in the event that he'll require further surgery. You...you don't have to stay."

Meredith stared at their hands, tightly intertwined. Derek's thumb lightly brushed the inside of her wrist, while her hand clung to his. She shook her head, trying to gain full composure.

"But Meredith?"Derek asked, waiting patiently until she looked at him. "Thatcher is in critical condition. The next twenty-four hours are the most crucial in his recovery process. If...if something were to happen-"

"No."Meredith replied, voice sounding grim. "I'm not going to sit here waiting to see whether or not Thatcher lives. I can't do this."

"You _can_ do this, Mer. Just let Izzie pick Elizabeth up, and you can go home later on tonight."Derek insisted, knowing that if she left she'd ultimately feel guilty.

Meredith shook her head, feeling the breath leave her body. "I haven't spoken to him since before I left Seattle, Derek. And now that I'm back?"Meredith said, feeling her mouth grow dry. "What do you say to someone you haven't seen or spoken to in over two years?"

"It's simple."Derek replied, repressing the need to recall the situation that happened between almost a year before. They had gotten over it, gotten through where they were then. "You tell them the truth."

* * *

Two hours later, Meredith anxiously checked her phone in search of a missed call. She knew it was pointless; everything else was going fine at the moment. While she wasn't sure of what kept her at the hospital, she had decided she's at least try and stay busy. She'd found her way into the front lobby of the hospital, and found herself staring blanky into a watery cup of coffee.

"Meredith?"Addison asked, staring in curiousity.

Looking up, Meredith was relieved to find a pair of understanding eyes looking back at her.

"I had heard something happened...is everything okay?"Addison asked before adjusting the sleeves of her coat.

"I don't really know."Meredith replied as Addison sat down next to her. "He's my father. I'm supposed to feel scared, and worried that something will happen to him."She continued, looking ovet at her.

"But you don't?"Addison asked, hoping she wasn't pressuring too hard. When Meredith didn't answer, Addison sat back. "It's okay, you know. To not know how you feel."

"Really?"Meredith asked, genuinely curious.

"Mark proposed twice before I actually told him yes. I knew I loved him, but there was a question behind why. I had to find out myself before we found out together."Addison replied. "The situations are completely different, I know...but the basis is the same. You can't know right away."

Meredith darted her eyes towards the glass doors of Seattle Grace to see that it was raining. She thought of how scared Elizabeth would sometimes get when it stormed, and she hoped it wouldn't get bad. While Izzie was tending to her, Meredith wanted so badly to be there, too. "Derek's in surgery repairing an arterial wall in his brain. In a while, he's going to walk out and either explain to me whether or not my father will actually be okay. And I keep wondering...why now?"

Addison chose to stay quiet, because she knew in that moment Meredith needed to let things out. She needed to vent, and as she watched Meredith seemingly search for what to say, Addison felt that maybe they did have something in common.

"Derek wants me to meet his mother, and my father gets admitted into the hospital."Meredith said, her head suddenly popping up. "This...this isn't awkward, is it?"

"No, no."Addison insisted. "It's fine, really. Just...go on."

Meredith buried her head in her hands, wanting in that moment for the world to disappear. "I don't even know if he knows about Elizabeth. How do I explain a child?...His grandchild? And you know what, why should I?"

"Because of you don't, you'll regret it."Addison replied simply. She thought that if Meredith wanted the truth the best thing to do was give it to her straight.

Derek cleared his throat, seeing Meredith and Addison sitting in the lobby.

Addison looked up and knew that it was her time to go. "Just let us know if you need anything."She said, letting Meredith know that if she needed anything, she or Mark would be there.

* * *

After ten minutes of explaining to her what would happen to Thatcher, Derek sat silent knowing Meredith would need time for it to register.

"So my father is going to live."Meredith said, the idea finally settling in on her.

"As long as nothing else goes wrong tonight, he'll most likely make it through."Derek replied, his hand resting softly against her back.

"Do you think it's wrong?"Meredith asked, turning towards him. "That I even thought for a second he wouldn't...?"

Derek shook his head. "No, I don't. You had a moment of doubt, everyone does."

"So are you staying here?"She asked, wondering if he'd be going home.

"Are you?"Derek asked instantly. He waited for a reaction, hoping that he'd get one.

Meredith bit her lip, weghing her options. She thought about Elizabeth, who at the moment was probably going to bed. She thought of Thatcher, who like it or not, was still her father. "Can I...I mean, to check on her? I'll come back, but-"

Derek placed his hand on her cheek, offering a warm smile. "Sure. Just let me go grab my keys...I'll drive you."


	33. Avoidance is Not the Answer

**Author's Note: Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. I feel like maybe recent chapters have grown closer to what Grey's would be. Well, what Grey's should be. I'm not going to talk about the stuff we've been seeing onscreen lately. I should complain because it's not all bad. But come on...between Gizzie drama, Callie not having a backbone, and all the new interns acting like idiots there's no time for anything else. And S&M? Seriously?!**

**Okay, so I'm okay. I really am. And, as I had a feeling, they're doing exactly what they did with Addison with Lexie. They bring her in and make you hate her, just to make something happen that makes you realize you love her. No, I can't let it happen again! LOL..anyway, review, please.**

* * *

Miranda Bailey was, on most days, at the top of her game. She did what she knew she should, and criticized the work of anyone who didn't. Sometimes she'd run into Izzie or Alex, or one of her other former interns and feel the need to take them under her wing. Other times she'd bite her tongue and remind herself that she didn't have to anymore; that she wasn't required to. They had interns of their own, they had responsibilities of their own. Still, she'd sometimes catch herself thinking of one of the most hectic, insane, life-changing groups of interns that ever graced the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital. 

That day she found herself writing in a patient's file when she saw a familiar flash of dark blonde hair out of the corner of her eye. "Grey."She mused, not looking up from what she was writing.

Setting a stack of files on the nurses' station, Meredith nodded. "Doctor Bailey, good morning."

Bailey nodded, setting her pen down. "Is there a reason you're standing here talking to me in surgical scrubs?"

Meredith looked around innocently, unsure of how to answer the question. "I'm a surgeon, Doctor Bailey."

"Now you know I didn't mean that. Grey, your father was admitted into this hospital yesterday and from the looks of things you haven't stopped working since."She said, concern for her former intern stirring inside of her.

"I went home for a few hours last night. Don't worry, I'm not going to let him being here distract me. I can do my work."Meredith insisted, offering a smile. "Craniotomy in an hour, actually."

"Impressive."Bailey replied, not believing that Meredith was perfectly fine. "You're planning on avoiding him, aren't you? You're just going to let him walk out the doors of this hospital without even saying a word to him?"

"What am I supposed to say?"Meredith asked, knowing Bailey wouldn't let it go.

Bailey shrugged, closing the file she had been writing in before picking it up. "That's up to you."

"I haven't seen him since before I left for California. Even then, we barely talked. He abandoned me when I was a child, and suddenly he comes back into my life. Again."Meredith said, sighing. "I have to check on my patient."

Bailey walked with Meredith, carefully standing in her path. "Just promise me you'll think about it, Grey. The last thing we need is you on one of those beds, too. Especially with that daughter of yours at home."

* * *

Just as she had told Bailey, Meredith scrubbed in on the craniotomy an hour later. It took a little longer than she expected, but as she walked towards where she knew she'd find Derek, she found herself feeling a little better. She stood in the doorway, watching as he typed away on a computer. He seemed a little tired, but as far as she could tell everything was fine. "So I was pretty much a rock star just now."She mused, grinning. "I saved a life." 

"Is that so?"Derek asked, amused. He spun around on the swivel chair to face her. "You were in with the craniotomy, right?"

Meredith nodded, fidgeting as she stood in the doorway. "The procedure went successfully. We were able to remove the tumor and close the skull. There was a moment when she started to hemmorhage, but we were able to keep everything under control."

"So she's doing good?"Derek asked.

"Better than some."Meredith replied, her voice growing quieter. "I guess this is the point when I should ask how he's doing."

Derek sighed, standing up to walk towards her. His hand grazed her arm as he stared into her eyes. "If you don't want to know, I don't have to tell you."

Meredith sighed, seeing the understanding as Derek stared at her. "But you want to."

"He still hasn't woken up. Which is partially a good thing, because the sleep is allowing his body to heal. However, we won't be able to fully determine how much damage was done until he wakes up."Derek said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "Have you been by to see him?"

Meredith closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I know I should. Everytime I think that I might, I think of another reason why I shouldn't. I know that isn't exactly an excuse, but-"Meredith cut herself off, concentrating on biting her lip.

Derek remained silent for a minute, allowing the moment to sink in. He loved Meredith more than he had ever loved anyone else, and seeing her in so much pain was enough to make him hurt. At the same time, he knew that the decision to go see Thatcher was one Meredith had to make on her own.

"Would you go with me?"Meredith asked, her frail voice breaking the silence. "I mean, you don't have to go in with me if you don't want to. You could just stand outside of the door."She said, knowing how weak she sounded.

"I have a consult in fifteen minutes, but I'll be done before twelve thirty. Do you want it to be then?"Derek asked, happy that Meredith was at least trying to make an effort.

Meredith nodded, a sigh of relief exiting her chapped lips. "Okay."She said. "I'll see you then."

* * *

Meredith stood outside of Thatcher's room, a determined look visible as she stared through the glass. She'd been standing there for nearly five minutes, and still hadn't gone inside. 

Derek stood against the wall, trying so hard to let Meredith fight the battle herself. He knew that if anyone could force her to go in, she herself would be the one. It wasn't until he heard the door opening that he realized she'd made her choice.

"I'm just going to be a minute. After all, he's still sleeping. There's really not that much that he can say."Meredith said, a feeling of sadness overcoming her. "I'll be right back."

Derek's arm brushed hers, in an effort to catch her attention. "Take all the time you need, Mer. Don't worry about me."

Meredith nodded before heading inside. She stood at the foot of the bed, staring at the man who had so many tubes and monitors connected to him. Trying to piece everything together, Meredith tried to figure out how the man she knew two years before and the man lying before her were the same person. His hair was a little grayer, and his skin more ashen. Wanting to blame it on the hospital's lighting, she let out an exhausted sigh. "You know..."She began, staring Thatcher in the face. "I'm not really sure of what I'm supposed to say to you."

She kept her gaze directly on him, the only sound other than her breathing in the room was that of the machines. "I feel like I should be mad. Or...maybe disappointed. But of all the things I think I should feel, sad isn't one of them."

Her hands firmly gripped the ends of the bed, as if they were some of the few things keeping her standing. "I know that probably sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth."She said, letting out a slight laugh. "I don't know how I'm supposed to feel." The rise and fall of his chest was enough to tell Meredith that Thatcher was still breathing, even though he wasn't fully concious. "You're my father. At least biologically, anyway. But the thing is, I feel like I barely know you."She continued with a shrug. "I guess that means you don't know me, either."

A few minutes passed before Meredith spoke again. She thought of everything that had happened since she came and left, and of the past she shared with him. While there was so much pain there, Meredith found herself hoping in that moment that maybe-just maybe-some of it could disappear. "Anyway...I um-"She said, her voice cracking. "-I should go. But..."She looked at the sleeping form on the bed, and thought for a second that she saw his eyes open. When she realized it was just her imagination, Meredith gave a sad nod. "I'll be back."

* * *

**Yeah, okay...so I know that last scene was kind of weird. But I love one-sided things like that where a person gets to sort of let this big moment wash over them. But just because she went to see him doesn't mean that everything's over. We'll have to see. I didn't want anything HUGE to happen, just basically Mer taking that first step in moving forward with everything, because he's the last piece from her past that she hasn't come to terms with. Now, please leave me a review!**


	34. Now I Know

**Author's Note: Thank you so much to those of you who reviewed the last chapter. I know that Meredith is sort of at this crossroad, so we have to be patient as she decides which way to go. I wasn't really sure how all of you would take that last scene, but am really glad that you liked it. Anyway, before I digress any further, here's the next chapter. As always, if you have any ideas/concerns...feel free to add those to your review-or just PM me!**

* * *

Meredith walked down stairs the next morning to hear Izzie's voice floating in from the kitchen. Curious, she poked her head in to see why she was there.

"It's not like that, I just...I think that we have to look at this equally."She heard Izzie say. "Mer's not going to suddenly buddy up to Thatcher. Whether he's her father or not, you know that."

"I know, but-"Derek looked up to see Meredith shuffling into the kitchen. "Morning, Mer."He chimed.

"You don't have to stop talking about me on my account."She said in reply before pouring herself a cup of coffee. It was quiet until Meredith finally made her way to the kitchen island to stand with them. "Okay, is something wrong? Because for once the both of you actually seem to be agreeing about whatever this is, and-"

"Mer, it's..."Izzie paused, for once truly unsure of what to say to her friend. "Okay, I um...I'm taking today off. Mostly because there are insane amounts of work that need to be done around here, but also because I didn't think you'd want to be alone."

Meredith frowned, her hands clasping her coffee cup. "Why wouldn't I want to be alone?"She asked, turning her head to look at Derek. "Did something happen?"

Derek took in a deep breath, as he'd been expecting her to ask. "I just got a call from the hospital not too long ago, I'm heading in right now actually. Thatcher woke up, and while tests aren't entirely finished it looks like he's had quite a bit of damage."

"Is he talking?"Meredith asked, suddenly feeling fragile. "I mean...can he?"

"He spoke to Olivia actually, she happened to walk into his room at the time."Derek said, eyes welling with concern. "So he's able to speak, but brain function isn't completely up to normal. Burke gave you today off because he thought you'd need it. I'm not saying you have to go see your father, but if you wanted to you can."

Meredith fought to swallow, fought to breathe. She knew it wasn't about her; her father was the one who needed help. At the same time, she couldn't help but feel like she was trapped. "Is Elizabeth awake yet?"She asked.

"She is, actually.."Alex mused, following Elizabeth's toddling lead into the room. "I was walking past, and saw her trying to break her way out."

"Morning, sweetie."Meredith called, kneeling down to scoop her little girl up in her arms.

"Morning, mommy."Elizabeth mumbled softly against her cheek.

Meredith stood up to see a concerned look on Izzie's face. "What?"

"You're avoiding this, aren't you?"She asked, crossing her arms. "Meredith-"

Derek raised his hand, as if he were pausing the conversation. "Meredith, no-one's forcing you to do anything. It's understandable if you want to stay here. Just know that if you need anything, I'll be at the hospital."He said, walking over to kiss her. "You gonna be okay here?"

Nodding, Meredith kissed him again. "Yeah, I'll be okay."She said, watching as Derek leaned down to kiss their daughter good-bye. She watched silently until he reached the doorway. "Derek?"She called, waiting until he turned around. "Thank you."

* * *

Derek was standing in Thatcher's room later that day when he heard the sound. He looked up from the chart to see Thatcher staring back at him. "You're awake. That's definitely a good sign."

"What...what happened?"He stammered, trying to take in his surroundings.

"You're at Seattle Grace. Thatcher, you were in an accident. There were several complications when you were in surgery, but we were able to stabilize you. Though you remained unconscious until this morning..."Derek replied, shining a light in Thatcher's eyes to make sure he'd respond. "You've been fading in and out ever since."

"Am I going to make it?"Thatcher asked, afraid of the answer he'd get.

Derek placed the small flashlight back into his lab coat pocket, and kept his hand there. He stared back at Thatcher, trying to think of something to tell him. "Logically, you should. Though I have to be honest in saying that if you do anything to jeopardize your recovery, you'll be in an even worse condition. So it's best to stay here while we perform more tests and allow you time to heal."

Thatcher closed his eyes, wincing a little from the pain as it hit him. "Meredith...I heard she was working here again. Is she here?"

"She's at home for the moment."Derek said, watching as the disappointment filtered into Thatcher's eyes. "She stopped by, though."He continued, trying to make him feel better. "Yesterday, she came by to see you."

"How is she?"Thatcher asked, knowing the connection Derek had to his daughter. "I...I...probably shouldn't ask, but-"

"You're right, you should be saving your energy."Derek replied, feeling guilty for cutting him off. "But just so you know, she's doing good. Anything else should probably be better left for Meredith herself. Now, I need to ask you a few questions just to make sure you're recovering properly."

Thatcher watched silently as Derek prepared to ask him questions. He hated not knowing what was going on, and being strapped to several machines didn't make it any better.

"Do you remember your name?"Derek asked, and seeing the look on his face decided to continue. "I realize these questions might seem a little ridiculous, but I assure you they're for your health."

"Thatcher Grey."

"Exactly. Do you know what this is?"Derek asked, holding up a cup.

"That's a cup. Doctor Shepherd, I understand your concern, I do. But I was talking about Meredith, and you changed the subject. Why is that?"Thatcher pressed, knowing that he could be hurting his already fragile situation.

Derek stared back at the hospitalized man; he knew full well that Meredith would be upset if any information was let out without her permission. Instead, Derek offered a nod. "It's a little complicated to say the least. Look, what you need to worry about now is getting proper rest. I'll check back on you later."

* * *

Meredith was sitting on the front porch swing when Derek's car came into view. She watched as he pulled into the drive and climbed out, all the while focusing on her. "Hey."She called as he reached the steps.

Derek nodded before sitting down next to her. "Hey."

Meredith swayed, pushing a leave that lay on the porch with her toe. "So something happened today."She replied when Derek didn't say anything else.

"In a way, yes."Derek said, placing an arm protectively around her shoulder. "But you get that I don't have to be a go-between, right? You get that you could go and see your father if you wanted to."

"I just...I want to be happy."Meredith said, finding herself lost in Derek's deep blue eyes. "I'm happy with this. I'm happy with you, and with me. I'm happy with Elizabeth. Everything was perfectly fine before Thatcher was admitted into the hospital. But now-"She said, shaking her head. She offered a shrug, closing her eyes. "I feel like I'm supposed to do something."

"What did I tell you this morning, Mer? No one is forcing you to do anything. If you aren't ready to go see him, then you don't have to. Just know that he's awake, and that he's been asking about you."Derek said as Meredith settled safely against him. He smelled the lavender conditioner she had used, and could feel the wet strands of hair sticking against the stubble on his chin. She had just taken a shower, and had come out to wait for him. Derek smiled, putting his hand under Meredith's chin to make her look into his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too."Meredith whispered softly against his skin. "I just want everything to be the way it's supposed to be between us. I want to get back to planning our wedding, to building our house. I want this."She said as she planted her lips firmly against his. Her hand roamed softly across his chest, not stopping until it reached his hairline, and played softly with his curls. Her thumb tickled his ear, and she could instantly tell it brought him back to reality.

"Mmm..."Derek murmured. "So, you realize that we're sitting outside, right?"He asked between kisses.

"Yeah...and?"Meredith asked, kissing him again. "You're complaining?"

Derek's hand found its way underneath the hem of her worn out Dartmouth shirt. "Not at all."He said, knowing that at the moment it was what they needed. In the midst of her father in the hospital, and planning a wedding-not to mention building their house, Derek knew it was what they needed. He heard the rain slowly beginning to fall, and broke the kiss just long enough to get them inside.


	35. Don't Be Scared

**Author's Note: I didn't plan on prolonging this chapter, and I apologize for that. I've actually kind of merged a few things here, and I hope that you enjoy them. As always, please leave me a review...thanks so much!**

* * *

"But Mommy-"Elizabeth cried as Meredith reached for a shirt from the girl's dresser. "-I'm tired, Mommy." 

Meredith laughed as she slipped the yellow shirt over Elizabeth's shoulders. "I know you are, honey. But we need to hurry up and get you to the daycare. You're going to have fun, right?"

Derek smiled, leaning against the door frame. "I thought I heard you two in here."

"Daddy!"Elizabeth cried, jumping off of the chair as she ran toward him.

"Well, it's good to see you, too."Derek said, scooping her up in his arms. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Uh-huh, good."Elizabeth said, nodding. "I love you."

Derek smiled as his daughter's hand came against his cheek. "I love you, too, sweetie. You know what? I think Aunt Izzie's making muffins. Do you want to go see?"

"Ooh, yummy!"Elizabeth called, rubbing her stomach. It was then that Izzie walked down the hall with a basket of clothes on the way to her room. "Itzie, aunt Itzie!"She said, wriggling free from Derek's grasp.

Izzie laughed, balancing the basket on her hip. "Itzie, huh? Well, it's close enough. But only for you."

Elizabeth giggled as her arms wrapped around her legs.

"Okay, well, I'm going to put these...away."Izzie said, opening the door of her room. "But then we can go get muffins. Sound like fun?"

"Thanks, Iz. I've got to clean up before work, but I'll be right down."Meredith called after her. She looked at Derek, and knew immediately that she couldn't avoid telling him. "So today is the big day."

"The big day? I suppose that makes sense, what with you getting up early and having Elizabeth dressed a half hour earlier than normal."Derek replied, his hands firm against her arms.

"I'm sorry. It's just the fact that I'm going to speak with my father, and despite not knowing what to say, I've got a good feeling."Meredith said with a shrug.

"Good feelings are good. At least that's what they say."Derek sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"Who are 'they'?"Meredith asked, leaning in to kiss him.

Derek returned the favor, but pulled her in ever closer. "I could tell you, but then I wouldn't get to do this..."He whispered against her before plunging his tongue into her mouth hungrily as he listened to Meredith fighting back a laugh.

"Hey, keep it 'PG' people, there's a kid in the house."Izzie spoke loudly, jokingly covering Elizabeth's eyes as they walked by.

Derek stared into Meredith's eyes, looking at the readiness that shone there. "You know Izzie's right."

Meredith sighed, her fingers playing with the curls that rested on the nape of his neck. "I know."She sighed. "But we could continue this later."

"Mmm..."Derek muttered against her lips before kissing her again. He pulled back, an amused smile on his face. "I know just the place."

* * *

"It makes sense, right?"Meredith asked to Cristina as she pulled her hair back into a ponytail. She looked around the locker room before focusing in tying her shoes. "That I'd be nervous."

"You're going to see your McFather, of course you're nervous."Cristina mused as she shut her locker door.

"Why do you say that?"Meredith asked, sounding confused.

"Because you're Meredith, it's what you do. You get nervous, and you go over everything, and you freak out. You start thinking that something won't work, so you think 'why go through with it?'."Cristina said, standing on the opposite end of the bench. "But the thing is, you're going to go through with it."

"I know."

"No, I mean really. Really, Really. You're going to walk into that room, and you're going to talk to Thatcher. Screw the father issues and the dark and scary past, because you know what...this is where you work. This is how you work. You don't avoid anymore, Mer."

"Are you pregnant?"Meredith muttered, surprised by Cristina's take charge attitude. "Because honestly, that'd be the only excuse."

There was an awkward pause in which neither of them spoke, Cristina simply staring her down.

"Okay, so...I have a father to get to."Meredith said pointing to the door.

"And I have interns to torture."Cristina mused as they walked out together, knowing that somehow, a nervous Meredith had walked out a little more sure of herself.

* * *

Meredith fidgeted at the foot of Thatcher's bed, hoping that he'd be the one to speak first.

"So how are you?"His voice came, crackling as he spoke.

"I'm good."Meredith replied, nodding. "How are you feeling?"

Thatcher sighed, hoping for more of an answer than the one he'd gotten. "I guess I should get used to nurses checking in every hour for the next few days."

Meredith forced a smile, for once feeling more comfortable than she had when she walked in the room. "They'll do their job and get you out of here. I'm sure you can't wait to get home."

"Well, there's definitely a more comfortable bed there."Thatcher mused, trying to adjust himself again, but failed.

"You know I could..."Meredith said, stepping forward hesitantly. "I mean, if you wanted me to."

"Sure."Thatcher replied, grateful that Meredith had offered. He remained still as to avoid any excess pain. He watched as Meredith pulled back after arranging his pillows, almost as if she were afraid. "You know Meredith, I don't bite. You could pull up a chair."

"I know."She said before nodding. "It's just-"Meredith said, wringing her hands. She hated feeling lost, or not knowing what she should do. With her father, it had always been complicated. Still, she was convinced that she could pull through.

"It's okay, you don't know what to say."Thatcher replied with a slight laugh. "I guess that's to be expected. But Meredith? What happened?"He asked, hoping he wasn't pushing too hard for information. "I heard you had moved to California, and now you're back here in Seattle."

Meredith drew in a large breath, as she had been expecting him to ask. "It's a little complicated. I can tell you that...I have a daughter. And that I love being back here. Seattle's just...it's my home."

Thatcher nodded, apparently taking all of the information in. "What's her name?"

"Elizabeth."Meredith answered, happy to talk about her daughter rather than herself. "It's...kind of after my mother. I've always loved the name, but it made sense to at least give her something that wasn't entirely dark and twisty."

"It's a pretty name."Thatcher replied, a bit hurt about the fact he didn't know his granddaughter.

"I have pictures, I just-"Meredith said, wishing it wasn't so hard. "-they're in my locker. My purse, actually."

"Maybe you could bring them next time."Thatcher suggested.

"Next time, yeah."Meredith said, nodding. She felt a bit relieved that he wasn't yelling for her to get out of the room. Knowing that he too was making an effort was something that made her feel a little better about the whole ordeal. She glanced at the clock before looking back at him. "Listen, um...I have to go meet with some people about a case. But I could come back. At lunch, maybe?"

"That's fine."Thatcher said, happy that Meredith was giving him the opportunity. "Meredith?"He called as she reached the door. "Thanks for stopping by."

* * *

Later that evening, Derek made plans to get off just after she did so they could go and pick up Elizabeth together. He took them to the house site and back to the lake, and he made fish for dinner at the trailer. Derek's let Elizabeth and Meredith see the new house, or at least the outside of it because the inside wasn't completed, and then the plan was to go back home for the night. Elizabeth was watching a butterfly fluttering in the breeze a few feet away when he walked up to Meredith. "So how did the big day go?"

Meredith smiled as Elizabeth sat on the grass, suddenly interested in a flower she was trying to pick. "It went better than I expected."

Derek wrapped an arm tightly around her. He planted a kiss against her cheek as he pulled her close before smiling. "That's good."He said as he watched Elizabeth pressing the petals of the flower to her nose. "She's so beautiful, Mer. I know she's still so young, but she's so smart and pretty and..."

"Everything that makes a father worry?"Meredith teased, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, bringing her head to rest softly against his shoulder. "Don't be scared, Der. She's always going to be our little girl. She's always going to know that we're here for her whenever she needs us, even when she doesn't."

Knowing she was talking about Thatcher but at the same time Elizabeth, Derek planted a kiss on the top of her head. "I can't wait until the house gets finished."He said. "Although I'm sure picking out colors with you is going to be a pain."He added, an amused smile on his face, playing with his blue eyes.

"Lavender."Meredith said, picking her head up to look him in the eye. "I mean, for the wedding. It kind of means something for us, and roses just seem redundant."

Derek grinned, pleased with the answer Meredith came up with. He looked as Elizabeth ran toward them, the flower extended in her hand. "I think that's a great idea."


	36. I Could Not Ask For More

**Author's Note: I just wanted to say a quick thank you to those who read and reviewed the last chapter. The end of last week's episode surprised me a little bit..but if you haven't noticed, Lexie isn't in this story. I can try and work her in if people actually want me to, but seeing as how I started this fic before the Grey's crew even wrote her into the story, I don't see a huge need to. Anyway, here is the next update...hope it's to your liking. Let me know..review!:)**

* * *

Derek walked toward the nurses station the following morning tightly holding two cups of coffee; one for Meredith, and one for himself. "You aren't too busy, are you?"He asked, smiling. 

Meredith set her pen down on the counter before looking over at him. "I can make time."She replied, gratefully taking a cup from him. "So-"She said after taking a sip and placing the cup on the counter. "-you left early this morning."

He nodded, feeling bad about it already. "I know, and for that I'm sorry. One of my patients needed an emergency surgery, I'm sorry that I didn't wake you."

"That's okay. You should have seen Elizabeth, though. Izzie made cinnamon buns...she had icing everywhere."Meredith laughed. "Let's just say it was really sticky."

"I bet it was."Derek replied. "So, what's on the schedule for today? I thought I saw your name on the surgical board."

"You should have,"Meredith replied, somewhat amused. "because it was next to yours."

"Really?"Derek asked, feigning surprise. "What do you know..."He mused, looking up to see Mark walking their way. "Mark at twelve o'clock.."He mused before hiding behind his coffee cup.

"I don't think that thing is big enough for you to hide behind, Shepherd."Mark laughed as he slipped a file into its correct spot. "Any good gossip?"

"You never give up, do you?"Derek asked.

"You can't blame me, can you?"Mark asked. "It's part of what makes me Mark Sloan. I save lives..I...gossip. I enjoy good movies. But i'm not a chick"He said, quickly asserting himself.

"Oh, of course not."Meredith replied, her cheeks turning a light shade of red. She turned to Derek who looked as if he were fighting back the urge to laugh. "Mark isn't a chick."

"What are you three doing?"Addison asked as she walked up to the group.

"Questioning Mark's masculinity."Derek quipped before taking another sip from his coffee.

Addison laughed as she closed a patient's file. "Can I join in?"She asked, sending an apolegetic smile Mark's direction. "I'm kidding."

Pretending to be hurt, Mark frowned. "I believe that."

"Well, as entertaining as this is...I have a patient to check up on."Derek said, kissing Meredith on the cheek before turning to walk away.

Mark darted his eyes between Addison and Meredith, suddenly feeling like an outsider. He knew that he had no reason to, and he found it refreshing that his wife and Meredith could get along. Offering a smile, he held up a hand as a sign of defeat. "So I guess that's my cue to exit...I'll catch you later at lunch?"

Addison flashed a smile in his direction after offering a nod. "Table by the window."

"Table by the window?"Meredith asked after Mark left. "What's that about?"

Addison sighed, knowing that the idea probably sounded odd to anyone else, but still decided to tell her. "It's kind of a tradition Mark and I have now. When we first started...seeing each other, it was the place where we'd go and sit. Coffee, pie...those stale breaded tuna sandwiches."She offered with a shrug. Moving her hair back behind her ear, Addison shrugged again. "Go ahead, laugh."

"Laugh at what?"Meredith asked, finding their procdure kind of endearing. "It's kind of sweet."

"Yeah, well, we don't get to do it often. Between my surgeries, and his-"Addison sighed, leaning her face against her hands as she propped an elbow on the counter. "-well, you get the point."

Meredith nodded, realizing that she still had the coffee Derek brought her. He'd intended to have a brief coffee break, but in the end ran to check on a patient. "Yeah, I know."She replied with a sigh. She knew it was the weight of her father still being there, and she knew it was ridiculous, but Meredith couldn't help but miss Derek at the same time. "Addison?"She chimed, hoping to further the conversation momentarily.

"Yes?"She asked, sensing a little fear behind her tone.

"I just-"Meredith averted her gaze to the cold, greyish tiles of the hospital floor before looking back at the woman whose hair was a complate contrast. "-if you aren't busy..."

"Of course."Addison replied, motioning for them to head toward a hallway that at the moment was vacant. "Is something wrong?"She asked.

Meredith bit her lip as she struggled to piece together the correct words. "I would ask Cristina, or Izzie even. Minus the fact that Izzie is currently in surgery, not to mention the fact that Cristina would probably tell me to suck it up and get on with it, it would work. I'm not trying to make it seem like you weren't the first person, or..."

Addison held up her hands, insisting that Meredith just ask whatever it was she wanted to ask.

"We didn't exactly get off on the right foot. A lot of our time was either spent hating each other, or at least acting like we did. Somewhere along the way, it just stopped. You know that my father is here, and without making too big of a deal about it, I told him about Elizabeth yesterday. After not seeing him for over two years, I somehow find the time to tell him that he has a graddaughter in the process of a five minute conversation."Meredith said before bringing her coffee to her lips. She sighed, bringing her cup down. "I guess what i'm trying to ask is, can you get past everything that has happened between two people? Just...everything. The history, the harsh words...do you really think it's possible?"

Drawing a deep breath, Addison nodded slowly. "It takes time."She said simply. "Time, and effort. You have to want something to happen in order for it to actually work. Does that make sense?"

Hearing her pager beeping, Meredith looked down to see what it was before looking back up at her. "I think it does. Thank you."

* * *

Derek glanced across the operating table at Meredith, who at the moment was explaining the procedure to one of the interns. It was a relatively simple procedure, but as he was well aware, she was the kind of person who liked to talk about things; explaining what was happening even to someone who already knew wasn't something he was used to seeing Meredith do, but at the same time, it was a role he decided seemed to really fit her. 

He thought about everything that was going on in her life, and felt his heart swell silently inside of his chest. The old Meredith would have distanced herself from everything. She would have all but ignored Thatcher and his close proximity, she would have cooly pushed him away. As far as Derek was concerned, even he himself would have been shunned. Not one to dwell on the past for too long, Derek took the Meredith that was before him, and knew that she was who he wanted to be with. He'd known all along-he'd always known, in a way, he did from the beginning.

None the less, as Derek watched Meredith, he realized that he'd never loved her more. The way that she was pushing through everything-between the wedding, the house, and her father being hospitilzed (and consequently reentering her life)-Derek saw strength that at the moment he wasn't even sure that he could muster.

"Dr.Grey."He said, clearing his throat. Derek directed his stare across the table, his blue eyes shining with such admiration, that it didn't matter in the moment whether or not anyone saw. He was proud of the woman he loved, and if no one accepted that, it was their choice. "Would you like to close?"

* * *

"So, here-"Meredith said, pointing to a picture she brought to Thatcher's room with her. Sometime through the process of that day, she had decided it was better to see him that day then to make the paranoia of wondering what he'd say become even worse. "-she's wearing a new pair of shoes. I know it's kind of weird, but she just seemed to enjoy them so much. Oh, and here...Derek brought home a scrub cap, and she kind of found it."Meredith added with a laugh as she recalled the moment a few weeks before. Overall, she had never been much of a picture person, but when it came to her daughter, she always had a camera ready. 

"Looks like you have a future doctor on your hands."Thatcher mused, amazed by the little girl in the pictures.

Meredith shrugged as she offered a slight laugh. "I guess so."She replied as she took the pictures back, calmly placing them back into an envelope. "So, is there anything I can do?"

"You just did, Meredith."He replied, hoping she'd catch the sentiment.

Knowing what he meant, she began to fidget a little. "I told you I'd bring them."

"Well, thank you either way. For the longest time you never thought twice about excluding me from your life. I know that I'm not exactly a candidate for father of the year, but i'd like to think that maybe we could start over."Thatcher said, knowing he was approaching a touchy subject. He knew that if he was ever going to say it, he might as well come out with it because otherwise she might see it as an excuse to not keep contact. "It doesn't have to be right away, just little things."

Meredith felt a combination of emotions dwelling inside of her, all of which screaming at her in voiced she knew all too well. She could run out the door and act like they'd never had the conversation. She could go back to pretending like she didn't know him, ignoring the fact that he even existed. On the other hand, she couldn't help but feel like maybe it would be for the better if she did stay and hear him out. "Slowly."

"Slowly."Thatcher replied after mulling it over for a minute. It wasn't much, but she was making an attempt to reach out to him. "Meredith?"He called as she reached to door. "Could you bring cards or something the next time you come?...It just gets kind of quiet around here. I'll only be in here for a day or two, but when the nurses aren't checking in, it can get kind of dull."

Making a mental note, Meredith gave a quick nod before closing the door.

* * *

Derek pulled back the blanket as he and Meredith settled in to bed that night. "So, I was thinking..." 

"That's a good thing?"Meredith teased, watching as Derek feigned hurt.

"That's bad, really. I was merely trying to talk to you, and you insult me."Derek joked, holding a hand to his chest. "I was really trying to talk to you."

Meredith offered a smile before curling up next to him. "Yeah, you don't do offended very well."

"Well, Mark seems to think so."He offered, before placing an arm around her shoulder.

"What were you saying?"Meredith asked, knowing Derek obviously wanted to talk about something.

"I know you're busy."He said. "I know that you have things to do here, work and everything."Derek continued before drawing a deep breath. "But what do you think about Christmas in New York?"

The question caught her off guard, but as Meredith looked Derek in the eye, it was evident that he'd put a lot of thought and effort into thinking of the idea. "Christmas is still a little while away."

Derek nodded in understanding. "I know. But can you picture it...Elizabeth bundled up in some big, fluffy jacket..making angels in the snow. The smell of apple pie wafting out through the window..."Derek trailed off, feeling giddy at the mere idea.

"That sounds like something out of a painting."Meredith replied, her hand firm against his chest. Watching the look of adoration in Derek's eyes, Meredith knew there was no turning him down at that point. "But I like it."

"So?"Derek asked, fishing for an answer.

Meredith grinned, leaning in to kiss him. She let her hand come up to Derek's neck, carefully caressing the stubbled skin there. Pulling back, she saw more than just that man that she loved, or the father of her child. Talking about their future, knowing thoughts of Christmases from the past, Meredith knew that she saw him for who he was. "Yeah, let's go."


	37. Everything I've Asked For

**Author's Note: First of all, I would like to apologize. For the past few weeks, I have been struggling with this writer's block unlike any I've had before. Most of the time, I'm over it within a week or so. But for the life of me, I could not get through it. On top of that, Thanksgiving was last week, so I had activities with that. So basically, I hope that all of you are enjoying yourselves, and will forgive me for not posting...I promise it will not be as long next time!**

* * *

Three days had passed, and as Thatcher was being released from the hospital, Meredith waited patiently outside of his room. Somewhere along the way it had been decided that she'd drive him home, if for nothing more than to make sure he arrived safely. She still didn't have a truly stable relationship with him, but the odd sort of relationship they did have was enough at the moment for Meredith to feel like maybe it could work. Watching as he neared the doorway, she quickly went to open it. Just as she did, Derek walked up beside her. "Hey-"She said, offering him a smile. "I'm just driving him home, I'll be back in time to pick Elizabeth up." 

"Good."Derek nodded, glancing at Thatcher before looking at Meredith. "Oh, before I forget...I know it's inconvienient, but Cristina said she was looking for you. She said she needed to speak with you before you left."

"It's okay, Meredith."Thatcher assured her as he saw Meredith hesitate. "I don't mind."

"Okay..."She replied, shrugging. "Where was she, do you know?"

"Last place I saw her was near the coffee cart. I'm sure if you hurry, you'll be able to catch her."Derek said as Meredith walked off in search of Cristina. "So..."He said, offering a half-smile to Thatcher. "You're being released today."

"Yes."Thatcher said with a nod. "I'm glad, too. I don't think I could have made it one more day in that room. The same four walls every day, nurses coming in at all hours to check up on you."

"They're there for your help."Derek defended as he stuck his hand into his labcoat pocker.

Thatcher's eyes narrowed a little as he leaned against the wall. "Somehow I get the feeling this isn't about me being released."He said, eyeing Derek. "Am I right?"

Derek sighed, his blue eyes momentarily darting down to the linoleum before looking back up at him. "You're right. Well, at least partially. Don't get me wrong...I'm all for you and Meredith having a relationship. She needs a father figure in her life, and if it's her own father, I guess it's all for the better."Derek said, sighing. "But Mer's very important to me. We share a child, and soon we'll have our own house to ourselves. She's going to be my wife. I love her. I really, really do. Mer's the type who's afraid to trust someone. She's been hurt a great deal in the past, and I'd just like to make sure it doesn't happen again."

Thatcher nodded, apparently taking Derek's comments into consideration. "She's not going to get hurt again. At least not from me. I know that I haven't exactly been the greatest father, but I'm glad that Meredith has someone like you in her life. She deserves someone like you, you know."

A faint smile echoed softly across Derek's features as he nodded. "I guess you could say that."He replied.

"I mean it, Doctor Shepherd."The older man replied. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He allowed it to stop, momentarily rubbing the bandage that was plastered to his forehead. "Thank you."

"For being there?"Derek asked, not really sure of what Thatcher was asking.

"That, too."Thatcher replied with a nod. "But also for saving my life. If it weren't for you, I don't know what would have happened to me."

Derek nodded, momentarily taking in the older man's appearance. He wors a gray sweater and a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of men's loafers. Overall, it was a typical outfit he might expect him to wear, but the expression in his eyes was a different one. For one, his blue eyes were much more focused and attentive than they'd been in past experiences, and the tone he took on was more serious. He was no longer so frivilous, and Derek got the feeling from him that maybe he felt that he did have something else to think about now. Choosing to contribute that to Elizabeth, Derek sighed. "There's no need to thank me."He assured him. "I was just doing my job."

Meredith returned a few minutes later, and with a kiss and a reassurance that she'd be home as soon as she could, she went with the man she was beginning to see as her father.

* * *

True to her word, Meredith went to take her father home prior to going to the daycare to pick Elizabeth up. A few minutes later, she walked into the door of her home with her daughter in tow. She smelled something coming from the kitchen, and went to investigate. "Derek?"She called as she set her purse down on the table in the hall.

"In the kitchen."He called, already hearing her footsteps on the tile floor. "Oh, look who's home."He called, wiping his hands on a dish towel before going to greet Meredith and Elizabeth. "Did you have a good day?"He asked his daughter.

"Yep. I played games."Came Elizabeth's reply.

"What's that?"Derek asked, concerned as he pointed to a small bandaid on his daughter's arm.

"She was on the swing earlier when she fell off. But apparently she was tough about it."Meredith replied, marveling in the sight of Derek kneeling down before their daughter. "She didn't cry."

Derek's eyes widened, impressed as he look back at her. "Well, I hope that it feels better. I think this warrants ice cream after dinner...what do you think?"He asked as he looked up to Meredith.

She laughed a little, situating herself at the kitchen island. "I guess so."

Derek kissed Elizabeth on the cheek, offering a hug. "Come on, what do you say to helping daddy finish cooking?"

"Really...I can help?"Elizabeth asked, a silly grin from ear to ear.

"You sure can."Derek said, picking her up. He watched the look in his daughter's eyes and couldn't help but be amazed. She was still so young, but it seemed like every day she grew so much. "You have a job."He said, taking a serious tone.

"A job?"Elizabeth asked, wrinkling her nose. "What'sa job?"

"It's...something someone gives you that lets you help."Derek replied, not knowing how else to answer her. "You can taste the sauce, and tell me what you think. But not too much, I don't want you to spoil your dinner."Derek continued, finally placing her down in her chair at the table. He moved to the stove, carefully cooling off a spoonful of sauce.

When Elizabeth tasted it, her eyes grew wide. "Mmm...it's yummy, Daddy."

"I guess you could take that as a good thing."Meredith laughed as she came over to join them.

Derek shrugged, going back to stir it. "I guess it's not as good as Izzie would make, but with her and Alex out tonight, someone had to make dinner."

"What, you didn't think I could?"Meredith asked, already knowing the answer.

"If you were to make dinner we'd end up with grilled cheese, so I'd say it's for the best that I was here."Derek replied, shooting a wink in her direction.

Meredith fought back a grin, turning her attention to Elizabeth. "Do you hear him?"Her voice came as she tousled the girls black curls. "How much longer?"

"Just a few minutes."Derek replied. "The bread is almost done."

A few minutes later, everything was brought to the table and as a family, they ate. Derek helped Elizabeth with her bath, and together Derek and Meredith put her to bed. Meredith decided to call Cristina back about their conversation earlier that day, do Derek opted to take a shower first. As he walked back down the stairs, running a hand through his still moistened hair, he caught the tail end of their conversation.

"I know, Cris-"Meredith paused as she caught sight of Derek standing in the doorway. "-so you're sure you actually want to do this?"She offered a smile to Derek, motioning for him to let him know it was okay to come in. "Well, it just doesn't seem like something you'd do...okay, I know."Meredith laughed, shaking her head. "Then of course I'll help you."Meredith said with a nod as Derek sat down next to her. "Okay, so I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye."

Derek watched, momentarily twirling the end of her hair in his fingers. "Something good?"

Meredith set the phone on the couch next to them with a sigh. "Burke's...birthday is next weekend. They just moved into the house a while back, and he made some comment about inviting everyone over."

"But we've already been there."Derek replied.

"I know."She said with a shrug. "But Burke wants everyone. Mark, Addison...Bailey too, I guess. Cristina usually isn't one for hanging out with everyone outside of the hospital, but she's willing to do it for Burke."

Derek looked amused as he shook his head. "She never fails to surprise me, you know."

Meredith tilted her head in a way to rest it against his shoulder. "That's true."She mused.

"So...how did it go with Thatcher?"Derek asked, feeling sorry for not asking it before.

"It was good. He liked being back home."Meredith replied as she wrapped an arm tightly around his waist, smiling as she felt Derek do the same. "You talked to him?"She asked, lifting her head from his shoulder.

Derek knew that she would have known, but wasn't sure how she'd react. "I did."He said.

Meredith stared back into his eyes, as if she were trying to gauge something. As her face broke into a smile, she knew that at least she had Derek to count on. "Okay."

Smiling, Derek leaned in close, planting a kiss softly on her lips. He moved her hair out of her face, taking in her features. The work day behind them, Derek was free to enjoy what in the end, was the one thing he's always wanted to; his family. Knowing that it was all he truly needed, he kissed her again. "Okay."


	38. Holding You Holds Me Together

**Author's Note: This chapter takes on a different turn, and takes place about halfway through Burke's party. I wanted it to kind of feel like bits and pieces from an episode, if that makes sense. So I'm hoping that you all will like it. Please...be kind and leave me a review. Thanks!**

* * *

Meredith sighed, adjusting the pillow of Cristina's couch against her back. "You're not dancing."

"Yeah, so?"Cristina asked, knowing full well what Meredith meant.

"You should get up. Have fun, you know."Meredith suggested, clapping Cristina against the leg. "Is something wrong?"

Cristina's eyes widened, surprised by Meredith's sudden enthusiasm. "Well, you're acting like Mary Poppins. But otherwise, everything is fine. Burke's talking to Webber about his CD collection, Derek and Mark are laughing about...whatever. Addison and Bailey seem to be happy." Cristina paused long enough to send a look in Meredith's direction. "If you're trying to make me be all happy, why aren't you?"

Meredith shrugged, offering a smile. "Personally, I'm fine."

A few feet away, Elizabeth sat of the floor playing with a ball that Cristina had given her. It wasn't much, but when Izzie spotted her, she was quick to begin a game of rolling it back and forth.

"That kid is gonna need me, you know."Cristina snorted, watching as Elizabeth shoved the ball back in Izzie's direction.

"Why do you say that?"

Cristina laughed, sending a look of disbelief in her direction. "Seriously? You have to ask?...With McDreamy as her father, and you as her mother, she'll need some sense of normalcy."

"You?"Meredith asked with a laugh.

"Shut-up."Cristina muttered as Elizabeth walked in their direction.

"Thank you, sweetie."Meredith said as she handed her the bright blue ball. "Are you having fun?"

Elizabeth nodded, a smile playing on her features. "Uh-huh, I am, Mommy."

A pair of black shoes were spotted, and Meredith didn't have to look up to know who they belonged to. "I thought I saw you from over there. It's nice to see you, Meredith."

"Chief...I mean, Doctor Webber."Meredith replied, quickly correcting her error. It had been years since she had last seen him, and it took a minute for her to register the reality of what was about to unfold.

"It's not Doctor anymore, Grey. I guess I've gotten used to people calling me Richard."He replied with a laugh. "And who is this pretty young lady?"He asked, kneeling down before them.

"Hi."Elizabeth said, suddenly slinking to safety in between Meredith and Cristina.

"This is Elizabeth."Meredith said, turning toward her. "It's okay, sweetie. This is an old friend of Mommy and Daddy...can you say hello?"

Elizabeth smiled, proudly walking over to wrap her tiny arms around his neck. "What's your name?"She asked, curiously shining in her blue eyes.

Richard recognized the baby blues were that of one Derek Shepherd, but said nothing. "Richard Webber. Your mother is quite a smart woman, you know that?"He said, sighing as he felt the pain from kneeling on the floor too long. "Your house is lovely, Doctor Yang. Burke and I were discussing the wooden floors, I'd say it was a good move to keep them."

"Thank you, sir."Cristina muttered as she watched him float back into the crowd. Looking over at Meredith, she saw a look clouding her face. "You get that he knew Shep was her father, right? Not everyone is going to judge you."

Knowing Cristina had her pegged, Meredith simply let out a sigh. "I'm going to get a drink. Can you watch Elizabeth for me?"

* * *

Meredith heard footsteps in the kitchen following her, and turned to see Derek standing there. "Hey."

"Is everything okay?"He asked, sensing her irritation.

She shrugged, pouring another drink into her glass. "Yeah, I'm good. How were things with Mark?"

"We talked about this one birthday of mine back in New York. Everything was supposed to be perfect. There was a pool, barbecue, everything. It was my seventeenth birthday, actually. Anyway, he had dared me to dive off of the board, but when I did, I realized too late that the trunks I'd been wearing had sunk to my ankles."Derek said, cheeks turning red from the memory.

Meredith's face lit up with a smile, realizing how embarrassing it must have been for him. "And what is it that you did back to him?"

"Shaved his eyebrows when he fell asleep that night. It didn't really compare, but it lasted much longer."

She laughed, feeling his hand brush her arm. "I can't really picture Mark without eyebrows."

"No, neither can I. It's too scary to think about."

Knowing that he was revealing details about the past, Meredith couldn't help but think of what kind of anecdotes his mother held from when he was growing up. The trip to New York wasn't too far off, so she knew she'd find out soon. But a strange sadness filled her chest when she realized that she herself wouldn't have any stories to share. While she had known Derek for several years, the two that they spent apart were enough to make her realize how much she had missed him. The year before she left was tumultuous enough, so there were no happy "One time..." stories from there that were good enough to be shared with family, nor were there any current ones. That was, they had made plenty of memories. Building the house, the proposal. Watching him with Elizabeth. But they were all little things. Small, simple things. Things Meredith didn't think deserved the title of 'best memory ever'.

"Hey-"Derek said, nudging her arm. "Talk to me. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."She lied. She needed time to figure out what it was that she wanted to say, because while Meredith knew there were so many wonderful things in their lives thus far, no stories she had to tell seemed to stand out. Nothing in her eyes that wouldn't make herself seem horrible for keeping Elizabeth from Derek. "I'm fine."

Derek's eyes pleaded with hers, because he knew in that moment that something was clearly wrong. Meredith seemed different than the last time they had spoken. Somehow, Derek thought that the conversation with Richard was related. Or maybe it was the continued presence of her father within her life. Either way, it became clear that she wasn't yet willing to share. Upon hearing someone else entering the room, Derek cleared his throat.

"Hey guys-"Izzie said, grabbing a soda from the fridge. "Burke and Mark started a game of poker. People are taking sides."

Meredith bit her lip, glad for the reprieve. "I better go in there before Cristina starts killing people."

* * *

The party broke up just after eleven, and after bidding farewell, Meredith and Derek left with Elizabeth sleeping soundly in the backseat. The ride how had been made in silence, Derek wondering what had happened and what he could do to stop it. He knew Meredith well enough to know that something was bothering her, but what he didn't know was what it was.

Meredith followed the raindrops down the window, watching the reflection of stoplights all the way home. Try as she might, a singular thought wouldn't leave her. She couldn't shake it. She loved Derek; the family they had meant more to her than anything. Still, she couldn't forget the look that had been in Richard's eyes. While he hadn't said anything, Meredith knew he knew who Elizabeth's father was. He knew she had left, and as far as she knew, was aware of how long she had been gone. He wasn't judging her, that much Meredith knew. But at the same time, she couldn't help but feel that Derek's mother wouldn't be the same way. She would be judging, at least it was the picture Meredith had in her mind. She was pretty sure Derek's mother couldn't get past the idea that she had lied to her only son to see how much she really did love and need him.

She took a shower and climbed into bed, all the while on autopilot. She felt Derek kiss her forehead, whispering that he loved her. Derek wasn't pressuring her. He wasn't bothering her about details or anything like that. Meredith couldn't decide whether or not it was a good thing. It was obvious that he knew something was bothering her, but he still chose to do the only thing he knew would help her.

Silently, Derek held her. It was a symbol of the loving bond that the two shared, and at that moment, it was the only thing he knew would help. "Goodnight, Mer."

Meredith nodded, leaning in to his firm grasp. "I love you."


	39. Realize

**Author's Note: So I was hesitant in posting this, because I know that FFN has been on the fritz lately, and some important things happen in this chapter. Personally, it's one of my favorites in the story thus far. Anyway, the scene between Addison and Meredith turned out to be really enjoyable to write. I guess I'm one of the people who likes to put characters into "unexpected" friendships, or ones that aren't highlighted enough. They formed an awkward sense of camraderie on the show before Addy left, too...I dunno.:(**

**Anyway, I'll let you get to reading now. Enjoy. :)**

* * *

Derek stared back at the glow coming from his computer screen, watching the bar at the bottom until it read 'done'. He rested his chin against his hand, knowing the decision had been made. The ding coming from the speakers told him he had a new email; confirmation that his information had been sent. Tickets to New York were the only thing to occupy his mind until his afternoon surgery, and before long, he'd go and speak with his patient again to refresh him on what the surgery entailed. 

A knock at the door caused him to look up in surprise. "Thatcher." Derek said, puzzled. Alone in his office, he had grown used to the silence, and the sound had startled him. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, of course." The older man said, rubbing a bandage that was still taped to his forehead. "Have you seen Meredith?"

Derek's brow furrowed as he closed his laptop. "I haven't seen her since this morning. Is there an emergency?"

Thatcher shook his head before walking further into the room. "We were supposed to meet for lunch in the cafeteria. I looked, but she wasn't there. I spoke with a friend of hers who said she didn't think that Meredith was in surgery."

"She's not in surgery." Derek stated more than questioned. "She could be in the clinic, maybe. If not, you're welcome to wait here. I need to go speak with a patient, but I'll be back."

* * *

Settling into the booth, Meredith stared momentarily out the window before turning to look at her coffee. 

"So I was right..." Addison declared, grabbing a packet of sugar.

"About what?" Meredith asked, offering a quizzical look.

"You needed a break." She surmised. "We're both on call, but nothing's coming up. I thought grabbing coffee that wasn't watered down might be a way to get you to relax."

Meredith laughed before shaking her head. "Maybe."

"You know that if there's something wrong, it helps to talk to people." Addison reasoned.

She nodded, fingers wrapping the cup tightly. "Yeah, I know."

"With the wedding, and the house...going to New York. Everything's happening so fast, on top of the fact that your father has kept in contact." Addison stopped as she saw a look of surprise in the eyes of the woman who sat across from her. "Look, I know that normally you and Cristina would just sit and eat junkfood, or just...do what you two do. But it doesn't have to be that way. Sometimes, it's okay to stop working for a minute to process everything."

"I don't have to stop." Meredith protested.

Addison nodded before taking a sip from her cup. Setting it back down, she looked straight at her. "Maybe you don't. I didn't want to, either. I love my job, Meredith. Most days it can be very rewarding. However, as I'm sure you're aware...that isn't always the case." She waited for a nod before continuing. "A month before Mark and I got married, I was having the toughest time. I still hadn't picked a dress, and my family was breathing down my neck. There was pressure at work, as always. So I go in, thinking that it'll be a regular day. At twelve thirty that afternoon a baby was born with the cord wrapped around it's neck. It wasn't crying. I tried, did everything that was possible to at least find some sort of peace for the family."

"But he didn't make it." Meredith said softly.

"No, he didn't. It's happened before...sadly, it happens more frequently than I'd like. While it's gotten to me, I try to not let it. But that day, with everything that was going on...I collapsed." Addison said before settling into the booth.

"Collapsed?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah. I just...fell in the middle of the hallway. Look, Mer...I'm not saying that it'll happen to you. There's a chance that it won't. But with everything happening, maybe it'll be good to have this trip for Christmas. It's okay to be nervous, though. Everyone usually is." Addison replied, her lips remained firm. She brought her coffee to her lips, glancing across the table at the woman she realized she'd grown to know as her friend.

The sound of a cellphone ringing broke the silence on Meredith's end. "Hello?"

"Mer, it's me." Derek began as he walked down the hallway. "Where are you?"

Meredith swallowed her sip before speaking. "With Addison." She said. "Why, is something wrong? I had my pager with me, so if it was-"

"No, nothing's wrong." He said before leaning against the wall outside of his office. "I just thought I'd let you know that your father is sitting inside of my office because he was under the impression that you two were to have lunch today."

Meredith cringed at the tone that was evident in his voice. Derek knew that Thatcher was at least making an attempt at a normal relationship with his daughter, and while Meredith was trying equally as hard, she knew that in the moment it didn't appear that way. "I didn't realize that it was supposed to be today. Great, now he probably thinks that I didn't care enough to-"

"Mer." Derek said, a smile at her nervous behavior. "Look, I'll explain the situation to him. I'll tell him that you'll reschedule. Maybe he could come over to the house for dinner some time. That is, if you're comfortable with the idea?"

"Yeah, sure." Meredith said as she stared across the table at Addison who simply shrugged in reply. "Derek, I'm sorry."

Derek nodded, knowing that she was at least trying. "Everything'll be fine, Mer. But I suggest that you make it back here soon. I was just in explaining the surgery to Mr.Henderson. His surgery is at two."

"I'll be there." Meredith assured him. "Bye, Derek."

"Good bye, Mer." Derek replied. He slipped the phone back into his pocket quietly before heading back into his office.

"So we have to go?" Addison asked, sounding a bit disappointed.

Meredith nodded, slipping her phone back into her bag. She quickly downed the last of her coffee, sighing as she set the cup back down. Her eyes caught the light reflecting off of the ring Derek had given her. Guilt flooded her as she realized that she hadn't really looked at it much. Of course, she tried to reason, it wasn't truly about the ring in the first place. The ring was only a symbol of the love they shared, and at the hospital, she didn't wear it during surgery, anyway. Instead, Meredith would wear it around a thin, silver chain around her neck, tucked safely beneath her scrubs. Sometimes she'd catch herself afterward fiddling with it, only to slide it right back onto her finger. Though she hadn't realized it until then, Meredith had grown to miss the moments that the piece of metal was against her skin.

Addison cleared her throat as she waived the waitress over. She'd noticed the fact that Meredith had been lost in her thoughts, but tried to not address it as they made their way back to the hospital. If there was anything Addison knew, it was that you couldn't get anything out of Meredith Grey unless she herself wanted it out. As she headed toward the elevator, Addison watched Meredith and a few others clambor hurriedly onboard.

"Addison?" Meredith called, finally breaking the silence between them.

She looked up, not sure what to expect. "Yeah?"

"Just..." Meredith began as she cleared her throat. "Thank you."

Addison nodded, smiling. "You're welcome."

"Maybe we could...well, the coffee here is kind of..."

Though they didn't know it at the time, both had a feeling that the coffee would kind of become their way to take a break.

* * *

"Yeah, I know...I'll be right back." Derek called into the living room as he made his way into the kitchen. "Hey."

Meredith looked up in surprise, clearly not expecting him. "Hi."

He leaned in to kiss her cheek, his stubbled grazing softly against her skin. "What's that?" He asked, speaking about the legal pad and pen that sat out before her.

She shrugged, offering a smile. "Just something that I'm working on."

Derek nodded before sitting down with her. "Do you need any help?"

"At the moment, no." Meredith replied. She saw the look flash in his eyes, and knew she had to clarify. "It's a checklist. For New York. Places I wanna go and things. I know it's kind of...well, it _is_ ridiculous. We'll only have a week or so, but I'd still like to think that maybe we could get some sight seeing in." When Derek didn't answer right away, Meredith frowned. "Hey, you okay?"

Derek nodded, pulling the chair closer to her. "Yeah, I just didn't realize you'd thought this much about the trip."

Knowing what he meant, Meredith felt a tinge of sadness. Everything had been about work lately, and for that she felt bad. Between Elizabeth and planning for the house, they hadn't had much time to just sit and talk about things. Usually, talking wasn't her M.O.. But somehow, with Derek, that changed. She realized how much she needed him, and the thought scared her. "Yeah, I can't wait. Now, I thought I heard Izzie mumbling something about cookies?"

Derek grinned, in awe of how relaxed Meredith appeared despite everything going on. "I believe what she said was "-And Derek Shepherd, don't you even think about touching those cookies I just took out!"...this of course after she asked me to come and get her a soda." He said, shaking his head. He walked to the fridge to pull out a Sprite. "You coming? Apparently, Elizabeth's feeling the need to be the center of attention. When I came in here, she was dancing to that stupid kick-boxing routine CD Alex has."

"Alex has kick-boxing music?" Meredith asked, suddenly recalling the music Derek was referring to. "Great, now our daughter will be singing Foreigner and Journey and...whoever else is one there. She won't understand the what she's saying, but she'll..." Meredith moved closer to the living room, and hearing the beginning of "Hot Blooded", knew they had to get in the room before anything got too carried away.

Looking back at the note pad Meredith left on the table, curiousity arose in Derek. Something had triggered Meredith's curiousity of New York, and while Derek wouldn't regret taking her home to see his family, a small part of him couldn't help but wonder what other places she'd chosen.


	40. Only the Beginning

**Author's Note: So I'm jumping a few weeks in this one, but I wanted to keep everything on schedule. To my knowledge, Derek's mother was never given a name on the show. If she was and I for some really strange reason can't remember, I'm terribly sorry for any confusion. Anyway,I hope that Christmas finds all of you safe and well. Enjoy!**

* * *

The flight to New York had been an easy one with little difficulty. Elizabeth had fallen asleep about halfway through, but awoke excitedly as she saw the "little doll people" that were quickly becoming larger as the plane got closer to the ground. The airport wasn't too terribly large, and though snow was beginning to litter the ground as they waited for their taxi, Derek didn't seem to mind. His eyes remained on Meredith's concentrated face. It didn't take a genius to figure out that she was still nervous. "Hey-" Derek called as the taxi pulled forward to meet them. "-everything's going to be fine." 

Laughing as she saw Elizabeth trying to catch a snowflake in her hand, Meredith nodded. She leaned in close enough to smell his cologne before going in for a kiss. "I know." She said with a smile. While there was still an air of anxiety around meeting her future mother-in-law, Meredith knew that with Derek there, it couldn't go too terribly bad. She smiled as she opened the back door. "I love you, Derek."

He nodded, hand resting protectively on the small of her back. "And I love you."

The couple nestled Elizabeth safely between them as they made their way to their destination. Scenery faded from tall brick and concrete buildings to houses and children playing in the streets. The air, if possible, grew even colder as Meredith double-checked to make sure Elizabeth's jacket was zipped tightly.

Derek was on his phone, confirming that his mother would indeed be home before hanging up. "So, dinner will be ready a little while after we get there."

"What are we having?" Meredith asked.

He shrugged before putting his phone back in his jacket pocket. "She's not saying. All she said was to bring an appetite."

"Aptitie?" Elizabeth attempted, sending a curious look in her father's direction.

Derek laughed as he tousled the dark curls that lay on top of her hand. "_Appetite_, sweetie. It means she wants us to come hungry."

Now understanding what he meant, Elizabeth nodded. "Mm-hmm. I'm hungwie, too."

Meredith laughed before kissing her daughter's forehead. "How much longer?"

"Not too long." Derek assured her as the taxi turned a corner. He watched the snow flutter outside the window, thinking of holidays in the past when he and Mark would do the stupidest things, if for nothing more than to torture the other. He laughed, shaking his head as the thoughts came back to him.

"What?" Meredith asked, her curiousity aroused as she saw Derek grinning widely.

"I guess I might as well tell you." Derek sighed. "I know that my mom will have plenty of embarassiong stories on hand, so telling you one couldn't really hurt."

Meredith nodded, choosing to remain quiet so he would finish. When he didn't, she began to wonder if something was up. "What, you can't think of one?"

"Oh, no. There are plenty I can think of. It's the ones that are incriminating that I'd like to keep a secret." Derek said in return, gesturing to Elizabeth who was sitting between them.

Seemingly understanding the fact that she was being talked about, Elizabeth turned to scowl at him. "What's wrong, Daddy?"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetie. Daddy's just...remembering old times." Derek replied, not knowing his else to phrase his answer.

"What kind of old times to you 'member?" Elizabeth asked, suddenly intrigued as she scooted closer to him.

Derek laughed, staring over Elizabeth's head at Meredith who simply shrugged. What could it hurt? "Well, you remember Mark?" He asked, and after Elizabeth nodded, he continued. "I've known Mark a really long time. One Christmas, we decided to go down to the park to play with a new football he'd gotten. It was really, really cold...and Mark dared me to stick my tongue of the playground. I knew I shouldn't do it, but because he said that if I didn't, he'd tell someone something that wasn't true, I did."

Meredith snorted back at laugh, shaking her head. "Do I even want to know what happened next?"

"Well, naturally, my tongue stuck to the pole. Mark freaked and ran home." Derek said. "But hosing him down and locking him out of the house later on managed to pay him back."

"So what's the moral of the story?" Meredith asked, noting the way Elizabeth seemed so interested in what Derek was saying.

Knowing what Meredith meant, Derek cleared his throat as he looked at their daughter. "Don't hurt your friends. Not only is it not a good thing to do, but there are a lot of good things that you could do instead."

The cabbie cleared his throat, trying to not interrupt what he knew to be a family moment. "We're here, sir."

Derek looked up, blue eyes locking with familiar territory. "That we are. Come on, guys..."Derek said, reaching to pay the cabbie before helping Elizabeth out of the car. Meredith began to reach for their luggage in the trunk, but he refused. "No, Mer...I'll get them. Take Elizabeth up to the steps?"

Meredith nodded, taking hold of Elizabeth's hand, carefully trudging up the snow littered sidewalk. She imagined so many times that Derek had run up the same way in his childhood. She waited patiently with Elizabeth as her side as Derek shut the trunk and wished the driver a Merry Christmas. "So?"

Derek nodded, heading up the steps with Meredith and Elizabeth in tow. He knocked on the wooden door, waiting patiently as heard footsteps in the hall.

A woman slightly shorter than Derek peered out befoe finally opening the door all the way. "You're here...come in, come in..." She said, ushering them in from the cold. Once safe inside, she turned to look at all of them. She kissed Derek on the cheek, wrapping him in a tight hug. "I've missed you so much..." She pulled back to look at the petite woman and child who stood beside him. "You must be Meredith. It's so nice to finally meet you."

Meredith shook her hand, noting the same pair of blue eyes that were Derek's staring back at her. Though they hair was slightly grayer, she noticed the same black hair as well. "The same for you, Mrs.Shepherd."

The older woman laughed, shaking her head. "No, it's Rebecca. There's no need to use last names here." Rebecca said. She gasped, staring down at the little girl who stood patiently, staring up at her. "And you must be Elizabeth. Hi, there."

Elizabeth nodded, swaying where she stood. "Hi."

"You look so much like your father, do you know that?" Rebecca remarked.

"This..." Derek began as he kneeled beside Elizabeth. "This is my mom. She's your grandma."

"Really?" Elizabeth asked, excited at the idea.

Rebecca laughed at her granddaughter before smelling the aroma of dinner wafting from the kitchen. "Well, as fun as this is, I have a meal to tend to. Derek, you can take your bags upstairs. Dinner will still be a while, but I have a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies waiting in the kitchen."

"Mom, you can't spoil her." Derek whined as he stood on the bottom stair.

"Nonsense, Derek. One cookie won't hurt." Rebecca defended before leading Meredith and Elizabeth to the kitchen. "I hope you like mashed potatoes, Meredith. It seems as if I got a little carried away this time."

"Oh, that's fine." Meredith assured her, turning her head to survey their surroundings. A simple, brown and black trimmed kitchen.

Rebecca nodded her head toward a plate that sat on the counter. "Feel free to help yourself."

"Is there anything I can help with?" Meredith asked before shyly handing Elizabeth a cookie. She knew it was bad to feed her sweets before dinner, but decided that in that moment, she could indulge.

"If you could stir the green beans, that would be fine." Rebecca replied, pouring glasses of milk. "But other than that, make yourself comfortable. I know the flight couldn't have been all too comfortable."

Meredith laughed as she picked up the spoon off of the stove. She was surprised by how comfortable she fely around Derek's mother. The anxiety was disappearing, but Meredith knew that they had just arrived. The real conversation, she figured, wouldn't happen until later.

"So she put you to work already?" Derek asked, back downstairs after taking their things upstairs.

"I wanted to help." Meredith defended as she stepped in his direction. "How's the cookie?"

Elizabeth nodded, chocolate crumbs clinging to her lips. "It's yummy."

"Well, enjoy it. Because when mom says it won't be long until dinner, it usually means you'll have to wait." Derek said before feeling a dishtowel coming into contact with his arm. "What? I was only telling the truth."

"Well, either way, I'm sure it will taste good." Meredith said before moving out of the way. "I was supposed to call Cristina as soon as we got in. Is it okay if I just-"

"Take all your time, dear. As Derek so kindly pointed out, it'll still be a little while."

* * *

"So how's New York?" Cristina quipped as soon as she picked up the phone. 

"It's...it's perfect." Meredith said with a sigh, knowing it was wrong to complain. Derek's mother was being nothing but nice, but she realized in that moment that maybe that was the problem. "Everything is perfect."

"You mean you didn't get grilled? No offense Mer, but I think if I were you, I'd take that as a good thing." Cristina replied, sensing irritation in her voice. "Okay, what's wrong?"

Meredith stared down at the champagne colored carpet, shaking her head. "Nothing is wrong. I'm thinking that's the problem."

"How on earth is everything being all McPerfect a problem?" Cristina exclaimed.

"No, I just-" Meredith closed her eyes, shaking her head. "My life has been so screwed up. You know? With the father, and the mother...and the going to L.A.. I just don't want to mess this up."

Cristina knew what Meredith was getting at, and hoped that she wouldn't avoid this time. "You won't. Yeah, you're Meredith Grey. You've got a laundry list of family issues that would make a psychiatrist richer than the best surgeon at Seattle Grace. But to Derek's family, you're just Meredith. They see you as the woman who is ridiculously in love with Derek, who has a daughter who is too smart for her own good. You'll do fine, Mer."

Hearing laughing coming from the kitchen, Meredith sighed. A smile graced her lips though, because she knew that things had to turn out okay. "I guess you're right. Anyway, let everyone know we got here okay."

Cristina nodded before throwing her Snickers wrapper in the trash can. "I'll do that sometime between the surgeries that aren't existing and the teaching that isn't happening because of it."

Meredith smiled again, amused at Cristina's typical attitude. "Merry Christmas, Cristina."

"Yeah." Cristina replied. "Merry Christmas."

* * *

"So tell me, how is Seattle?" Rebecca asked as everyone settled around the table. 

"Wet. Rainy." Derek said with a grin before poking a green bean with his fork and stuffing it into his mouth.

"Well, of course. That much was obvious, Derek." Rebecca said, shaking her head at her son's reaction. She turned to Meredith who was stirring the gravy on her plate. "You're a resident at Seattle Grace, right? What's that like?"

Meredith swallowed a bite and paused long enough to clean some potatoes off of Elizabeth'd face before turning to face her. "Hectic. It's..complicated, hurried...but in the end, it's very rewarding."

"Meredith's one of the best residents Seattle Grace has, mom." Derek said, grinning proudly as he buttered a roll. "She was able to find the cause for a patient's illness the other day before anyone else could."

"Is that so?" Rebecca asked, soudning impressed. "Well, congratulations, Meredith."

"Thank you." Meredith replied, gazing across the table at Derek. She shook her head. There were times that caught her so off guard she wasn't sure what to say. But as she saw Derek looking back at her, she knew that they'd get through whatever family drama that would ensue. She'd never had another person be so proud of her, and when Derek gave her that, it brought on a new feeling that Meredith wasn't sure she recognized; love, but something so much stronger. Deciding to instead focus on the matter at hand, Elizabeth had just gotten mashed potatoes in her hair, Meredith knew the feelings she had before were for naught. "Come on, let's go get you cleaned up."

"It's the third door on the left, Meredith." Rebecca informed her, laughing. The look she saw reflecting in her son's eyes told her what she already knew. The love that she'd heard about from Nancy was more than just a hospital romance. Though the poor girl seemed jittery, it was evident to her just how much Meredith loved her son. She had no reason to think it could ever change.


	41. Love and War and Snow

**Author's Note: I hope that everyone's year is off to a nice start. I had planned on posting this chapter last night, but wasn't able to in time. So, I hope that you'll enjoy it now. A little Shepherd family drama, and of course cuteness abound from Elizabeth, with plenty of MerDer thrown in for good measure. I took liberty in naming the remaining sisters...we know there's Nancy and Kathleen, but there are others as well. Anyway...with that said, please review. Thanks!**

* * *

Derek glanced up at his mother before ripping open the shiny red paper that held his present. Inside the box was a new leather wallet. "Thanks, Mom." He said, holding it up so Meredith could see. 

Rebecca nodded from her spot in the chair before picking up another box. "This one is for Elizabeth."

"Do you need help sweetie?" Meredith asked, crouching down next to Elizabeth as she fought to tear off all of the paper. Finally, they were able to tear the paper off and open the box to reveal a new winter jacket.

Elizabeth stood up, proudly waving it in front of her. "Daddy, look!"

"That's very nice, isn't it? What do you say?" Derek asked, admiring the dark purple jacket his mother had purchased.

Nodding, Elizabeth ran over to hug the older woman. "T'anks."

Rebecca laughed, surprised at how easily Elizabeth was opening up. "You're very welcome. I wasn't sure what to buy her, but I figured it would help out later if you were to go outside."

Derek nodded. "It's very nice, Mom. I'm sure she'll be using it later."

The group continued in opening their presents, Elizabeth recieving several toys, Derek getting a new sweater along with a bottle of his favorite cologne from Meredith. Meredith got a bracelet from Derek, to which she remarked that it was the one that she'd seen when they went to the store. She felt a moment of uncertainty when Rebecca opened her present; a framed picture of Elizabeth. But after Rebecca seemed so genuinely happy, all of the fear dissolved.

"Well then..." Rebecca said, surveying the paper that lay in heaps around them. "I suppose that we should clean this up. I've got to get working on the dinner, and Derek, I'll need you to shovel the driveway. Your sisters shouldn't be here for a few hours, but the way will need to be clear."

Derek nodded, collecting his things. "Of course, just let me change."

* * *

When it was time, Meredith helped Rebecca with setting the table. Derek's mother had insisted that she cook everything herself, but that Meredith was welcome to help with anything else. After setting the last glass down, Meredith heard the doorbell ring. 

Setting a dishtowel against the sink, Rebecca nodded. "That's probably Nancy." She said. "She'd mentioned coming over earlier than the others."

Meredith nodded, feeling a sense of fear creep up within. She remembered the last time she and Nancy had spoken, and knew that the woman wasn't particularly fond of her. Deciding to play it as nicely as she could, she waited patiently until she saw her walking into the house.

"Nancy-" Derek began as he walked back down the stairs. "-good to see you. And who's this?"

Another of Derek's sisters, Diana, hit his arm. "Well, if you'd come back home more often, I'm sure that you'd know. Hello, you must be Meredith."

Greetings were exchanged, and children ran off to play. Elizabeth seemed content, because Diana had brought her children, and among them was Lauren, a girl that was just barely older than her.

"You'll probably have a tough time pulling them apart." Diana said, laughing.

"She looks so much like you, Derek. Yet another Shepherd with the curse." Nancy said before crossing her arms.

"That's not entirely a bad thing." Derek replied, pretending to be offended.

"You would say that." Nancy said, glancing over at Meredith before speaking. "So little brother, how is life in Seattle? I wasn't even aware until a few weeks ago that you even had a daughter."

Derek shot her a warning glance as if to say 'Don't even think about it' before clearing his throat. "We've been so busy at the hospital, I know I should call more, but-"

"Don't worry about it, Derek." Rebecca said, laughing. "Come on girls, help me in the kitchen."

"Uncle Der..." Came a little voice pulling at his pant leg. Derek looked down to see a little brown haired boy staring up at him. "Can you tie my shoe?"

Derek grinned, if for nothing more than to clear the air of the tension. "And how's school, Ryan? Are you behaving?"

Ryan looking down at the sight of his uncle tying his left shoe before nodding. "Uh-huh. I gots all good grades."

Derek laughed, seemingly entranced by the little boy before him. It didn't go unnoticed by Meredith, who had gone to tend to Elizabeth and Lauren. "Well maybe Santa will bring you something nice."

Pleased, Ryan hugged his uncle's neck before running off to talk to the other children.

Before long, Derek's other two sisters, Kathleen and Rachel, arrived with husbands and children in tow. Introductions and hellos were made before everyone finally gathered around the table. To Derek's relief, Diana and Meredith seemed to get along well. He contributed it partially to the fact that Diana and Addison had never really gotten along, but none the less decided that he was happy either way. Next to him, Elizabeth and Lauren were gabbing away about Santa, candy, and other things he knew little children loved. Ryan was talking with his sister Kayla, and other relatives were simply conversing about various topics.

He took the moment when Diana stepped out to go to the restroom to speak with Meredith. "So how are you?"

Knowing what he meant, Meredith took a moment to wipe at her mouth before answering him. "I'm doing good. Elizabeth seems to be getting along well."

Derek nodded, putting an arm around her shoulders. "I told you there was nothing to worry about."

She sighed, knowing that he had been right. Taking his hand in hers, Meredith gave it a squeeze. "Thanks for bringing me."

"Of course." Derek agreed. "Why wouldn't I?"

Meredith didn't have a chance to answer, because after having learned that she was really the daughter of _the _Ellis Grey, she was soon wrapped up in a conversation about her career, and what it was like to intern at Seattle Grace. Kathleen had at first been concerned with the fact that there was an age difference between her brother and Meredith, and had he kept a friendship with Addison. But after Derek made it clear that he wanted no one to pry, she backed away a little.

"Save room, everyone." Rebecca said from the head of the table. "I've been making pies all week."

"Apple?" John, Rachel's husband asked.

Rebecca laughed, nodding a little. "I remembered how much you loved it, yes."

"Tell me you made rhubarb, mother." Nancy said, cutting into a piece of ham.

"I had almost forgotten, but yes, Nancy." Rebecca replied.

Derek shook his head, amused by the interaction. It wasn't often that his entire family could get together like they were, but when they did he always found the bickering amusing.

"So Derek-" Nancy began after swallowing a bite. "-when exactly do I need to book my next flight out to Seattle? I mean, I'm assuming the family is invited to the wedding?"

Grumbling, he'd known the question was coming. "We've been planning, but the date hasn't been set yet."

Nancy seemed interested by the answer, but chose to say nothing else but "Well, just let me know. You have to know that I'll clear my schedule, but I need to know when."

Dinner continued with conversation about the food, sports, and work. Before long, the plates had been cleared and all but Diana and her children, along with Nancy and hers said their goodbyes.

Meredith stood on the porch, watching as Derek helped Elizabeth form a snow ball before throwing it into the air. She smiled, laughing at how easily he could fall into comfortable behavior. While it was evident that he loved living in Seattle, there was something that seemed to make him so much more at ease when he was around his family. She had been so distracted that she didn't realize someone had walked up behind her.

"He's like a little kid." Nancy mused, an amused laugh escaping her lips. She glanced at the woman beside her, realizing that maybe Derek truly was happier with her. While she still kept contact with Addison, Nancy knew that she was so much happier with Mark, to which she wondered why Addison hadn't realized that in the first place. "That little girl-" She said, shaking her head. "-he spoils her, doesn't he?"

Meredith seemed surprised at first, not sure of how she was supposed to react. Was Nancy genuinely trying to reach out to her, or was she merely the candidate to 'test' her? Upon realizing that the conversation wouldn't go any further unless she said something, she shrugged. "Sometimes, but not nearly as much as he wants to."

Nancy sighed, leaning against the wooden beam that supported the roof over the porch. "That really doesn't surprise me."She said. After seeing a confused look on Meredith's face, she nodded. "When we were kids, all of us girls would tend to eat the cookies, so he'd get all mad and say that whenever he had kids, he'd make sure they got all the cookies that they wanted."

Distracted by Derek and Elizabeth running around in the snow, Meredith shook her head. Elizabeth had just fallen, and with snow caked to her new winter jacket, she simply stood right back up, running to catch up with some of the other kids who were also running around. Before she coudl realize it, a cold, hard snowball cam into contact with her arm. "What the-" She looked up to see Derek grinning proudly as he wiped his hands on his jeans. "-you can't just...Derek!"

"You do realize what that means, right?" Nancy asked, as if she wasn't sure of the answer. At that moment, the pager that was attached to her hip sounded off. "Well, I guess I should have expected it. It looks like there's going to be a Christmas baby afterall." She turned for the house to go and get her coat. "And uh...good luck. You know, with everything."

"Thanks." Meredith replied, not really sure of what else to say. She looked down at the snow that now covered her left shoulder. Shaking some of it off, she climbed down the steps, checking to make sure that Derek wasn't looking. She reached down, her hands forming a solid ball of snow before promtly throwing it at him.

"Meredith Grey!" Derek shouted after spinning around. His hands rubbed the back of his neck; the spot in which her snowball had landed. Grinning, he slowly walked over to her. "I think you're forgetting an important rule when it comes to snowball fighting."

"Is that so?" Meredith asked as Derek's hands rested safely against her waist. "Because you know, I've never really been around snow all that much. So maybe you should forgive me just this once."

Derek, cheeks already reddened from the cold, turned a deeper shade of red. "I suppose I should. But you know, Mer...it's never nice to hit someone when they aren't looking."

Feigning surprise, Meredith wiped at a few flakes that had fallen in Derek's hair. "Really? Well, I guess I'll know better next time."

Derek laughed before leaning in to press a kiss to her lips. "You cold?"

She sighed, offering a shrug. "A little. But I was having fun watching you and Elizabeth running around, so-"

"Well come on.." Derek said, suddenly tugging at her hand. "Come join us!"

Meredith was caught between having fun and realizing how childish they were acting at that moment. She caught sight of Diana standing on the step. Nancy had left in her car, and it looked at if Diana would soon do the same. But there was something there...amusement? She could tell before Derek had thrown a big ball of snow at her as well, thus enveloping everyone that was there into what would come to be known as 'The great Shepherd snowball fight of 2007'.

* * *

Derek walked into what would be their room that night to find Meredith slipping socks on her feet. He smiled, sitting next to her. "Still cold?" He asked before slipping an arm around her shoulder.

This time, Meredith was free to relish in the feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around her. "Much better." She whispered before planting a kiss on his jawline.

"You do realize this is my mother's house, right?" Derek asked, knowing that he wouldn't be able to stop if he wouldn't catch her before she'd really started.

Meredith sighed, pretending to pout. "You really are no fun, _Doctor Shepherd_."

"You can say that all you want, Doctor Grey...but if you're patient, I'm sure there'll be a late present waiting for you once we get back to Seattle."

"Seattle?" Meredith asked, not even bothering to cover up the disappointment in her voice. "Well, I guess I can wait. I mean, it's _only_ a week."

Settling into bed next to her, Derek wrapped an arm around Meredith as they snuggled in close. He sighed before kissing the top of her head, thinking silently of how he'd never felt like a week could seem so long.


	42. New York, New York

**Author's Note: I originally planned to have them head back to Seattle in this chapter, but I feel the need to hold that off just a little longer. There are a few things that happen in this chapter that I think are important, and well...anyway, without rambling too long, I'll let you guys read. Thanks SO much to those who reviewed last time!**

* * *

The days came and went in a flurry. Relatives had long since gone, and Derek took to showing Meredith and Elizabeth around town. He'd run into people he once knew, to which he'd have to stop for a minute and say hello. Meredith would stand close, keeping quiet most of the time until she was introduced. It wasn't that she felt uncomfortable, but in truth she wasn't sure of what she was supposed to say. 

It snowed a couple of times, but never too hard. That is, until the day before New Year's Eve. Instead of going around town or fixing things around the yard, Derek spent time helping Elizabeth with different toys she had received. That night, the adults ended up in a card game after Elizabeth went to sleep. Meredith won, but tried her best to downplay that fact. She kept saying it was nothing and that Rebecca should have won, but Derek's mother politely refused.

Any tension was only due to lack of knowledge. Rebecca was aware of the situation regarding Meredith's mother, but when she asked about her father, she was met with a slightly puzzling response. Feeling guilty for it later, Rebecca went to apologize.

"Meredith, I truly am sorry. Had I known, I wouldn't have-"

"It's not your fault, you didn't know." Meredit insisted. Truthfully, she didn't know how to define the relationship with her father, but she knew it wasn't easy. They kept in touch, but Meredith knew it was no where near perfect. "I just-" She began, raising her head. She looked across the backyard, spotting an old rope swing dangling from an oak tree. Tears pricked at her eyes, stinging in the cold.

"You what, dear?" Rebecca asked, noting how upset Meredith seemed. It hadn't gone unnoticed how quiet Meredith had been during Christmas dinner, or for that matter, anytime afterward. Wanting to believe it was just Meredith's way of dealing with things, Rebecca soon realized it could have been contributed to the family that she was used to.

Meredith's eyes scanned the backyard, pausing only when she spotted leaves slowly falling to the ground. "I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say. About my family, I mean. You guys...I mean, when I see Derek with you, I just think-" She crossed then uncrossed her arms before hastily wiping away a tear.

"Derek will always be my son." Rebecca said, a fond smile crossing her lips. "He was the only boy, so I felt like I had to devote a certain amount of time to him. That doesn't mean that I loved the girls any less of course, but...there was always something different about Derek." She quietly stood, ignoring the chill that cloaked the air. "But I'm sure you've already realized that."

Meredith felt a tug at her heart as an image of Derek greeted her closed lids. Smiling. Blue eyes shining. There was something there that she couldn't define, but she could certaintly _feel_.

Rebecca sighed, placing a hand on Meredith's shoulder. "It doesn't matter what the past is like, Meredith. It's only a part of who we are. The future matters, too. But what's most important is right now, right where you are...wherever that may be."

Glancing in Rebecca's direction, Meredith realized how much she enjoyed the trip to New York. It wasn't just being away from the rain and the hospital; the people she'd met were far more important. "Thank you, Mrs.Shepherd."

Rebecca laughed, shaking her head before wrapping Meredith in a tight hug. "I told you, Meredith...it's Rebecca."

* * *

Derek really hadn't intended on interrupting their moment, but as he walked into the kitchen to get a drink, his eyes caught sight of his mother and Meredith hugging on the porch. Not wanting to intrude, but also comforted by the idea, Derek quickly refilled his glass and retreated to the living room. Meredith came in a few minutes later, saying that she was heading for bed. It wasn't long before Derek followed her saying nothing, knowing that she was deep in thought. 

He studied her as she stared up at the ceiling, wanting so badly to know what she was thinking. There wasn't a trace of fear in her eyes, that much he was certain. At the time time, the look on her face wasn't entirely traceable. "Mer." He whispered into the dark as he pulled her closer.

Upon hearing Derek whispering her nickname, Meredith felt a familiar wave of warmth. There was something there, a comfort that could come from no place else. Though she wouldn't admit it, she'd grown used to the feel of his cold feet rubbing against hers. Unable to stifle a laugh, Meredith giggled into the dark.

"What's so funny?" Derek asked, stubble grazing against her neck.

Meredith turned her head to face him, and though she could barely make out his features, she knew that he was grinning. He seemed so much more at ease, so much more relaxed. Family was something that Derek didn't take lightly. The thought settled on her as Meredith carefully drifted to sleep.

* * *

"Derek, we've been driving forever! Why can't you just tell me where we're going?" Meredith asked, staring at the now unfamiliar skyline. 

Adjusting the radio station, Derek turned toward her. "First of all Meredith, we've only been driving for about an hour. And I can't tell you yet."

Meredith groaned as she leaned back in her seat, casting a glance in his direction. "You think this is funny, don't you?"

"What? The fact that you have no idea where we're going, or the fact that you act like a little kid when that happens?" Derek asked, face twisted into a smirk.

Shaking her head, Meredith knew she wouldn't get much else out of him. She leaned her forehead against the window, staring blankly at road signs until the sight of a familiar name. Meredith sat upright, suddenly spinning toward him. "You're not."

Derek glanced at her, admiring the look of amusement that played well in her eyes. "Maybe, maybe not."

A few hours later, Meredith shuffled her feet against the cold New York sidewalk. She looked up at the street vendor, annoylingly realizing the fact that the line hadn't gotten any shorter.

"I asked if you wanted to eat on the way." Derek said, shaking his head.

"And I said I couldn't wait to try authentic food. Look, that guy...he's finally leaving." Meredith said, standing on her tip toes so she could see over the person in front of them.

Derek snorted before shoving a hand into his jacket pocket. "You're so pleasant today, aren't you?"

Meredith jabbed him in the side, slowly moving forward with the line. They continues like that until they approached the stand, both ordering their own food. They spent the next hour walking the streets and eating. "So-" Meredith said, stabbing the last bite of chicken with her plactic fork. "Are we really staying?" She asked.

"Until the ball drops." Derek confirmed, throwing his styrofoam bowl away. "I just figured you'd enjoy it. I'm sure if Cristina were here she'd make some sarcastic comment and say that I am too incredibly sappy for her own good."

Meredith shook her head, a small smile forming on her lips. "Well from the looks of things, Cristina isn't here."

"Brilliant observation, Doctor Grey." Derek smirked, wiping a grain of rice from the corner of Meredith's lip. "Elizabeth's safe with my mom, your snooty, snobby-"

"She's not-" Meredith protested before seeing the grin on his face. "You really want to get me mad, don't you?"

"Come midnight, I'll have a reason to shut you up." Derek suggested, shrugging. He looked at the crowd already forming, and knew that they had to find a place soon. "We'd better get moving to the square soon, Mer. It can get busy."

They bought water from a vendor. A balloon from a clown there to amuse the children. Politely refused the rediculous '2008' glasses, murmuring later about how they'd only wear them once. Somewhere along the way, they'd met another couple, chatting about the city and everyone around them. Eventually the skyline grew dark and they had nothing left to do but wait.

"So you're seriously at Times Square?" Izzie asked excitedly over the phone. "We were just having a you know...party. With...people. But we'll turn the T.V. on."

"You do realize that you probably won't see us, right?" Meredith asked, shaking her head.

"Well-" Izzie sighed, setting down her glass. In the background Meredith could hear the sound of Cristina and Alex arguing over the last of the tequila.

"You guys emptied that thing already?" Meredith asked angrily. "Iz-"

"No, Meredith." Izzie grumbled. "It was halfway empty, and there's like...me, Alex, Cristina, George...Callie. Um...Burke's here hiding somewhere, too."

"Okay. Well, stay safe." Meredith mused, knowing it wouldn't do any good.

Derek shook his head as Meredith put her phone away. He watched as steam came from her mouth, and knew she was cold. "Come here." He said before enveloping her in his arms.

It happened suddenly, but Meredith was more than accepting of the feeling of Derek holding her. It was a security that she loved, but since they'd been waiting on the streets of New York City, she hadn't been privy to. "You know we should probably call to check on Elizabeth. Make sure she's okay."

"She'll be okay, Mer." Derek assured her, reluctant to release his grip on her.

Meredith saw the concerned look in Derek's expression, but knew that he was happy. His hand cupped her cheek, rubbing the reddened spot that had grown due to the cold. She knew he was happy, knew that he was in this. It wasn't that she was unsure, but Meredith knew that no one else would willingly stand with her on a crowded, cold New York City street. "Derek?"

"Yeah?" He asked, curious.

Meredith sighed, stomping at a snowflake that had fallen on the ground before lifting her gaze to Derek's face. There was so much she wanted to say, so much that she'd been mustering up in the last week but as she saw the nearly child-like expression on his face, the words were lost. With everything coming together, there was a feeling that settled in the pit of her stomach that, try as she might, she couldn't describe. "I just-" She stammered, hair shaking around her face.

Before she could continue, Derek nodded, pulling her tight. His lips came over hers, tongue darting quickly into her mouth. He pulled back later due to lack of oxygen.

"Don't you think that's a little early?" Meredith asked, a wicked grin showing.

Derek shrugged before wiping away a snowflake that fell in her hair. "We've got almost a hour. I think it's okay to practice."


	43. Together

**Author's Note: Until the strike is over, there is no new Grey's. No.New.Grey's. And as depressing as it is to say, I'm honestly not that upset about it this time around. Because while I adored (most) of that last episode, the characters and relationships have changed in so many ways, that it doesn't even feel like that show I know and love anymore. Don't get me wrong, there are always those awesome moments-Mark and Derek bickering, or Bailey...well, being Bailey. **

**Anyway, you didn't check in to read some ranting author's note, right? Most of you are probably feeling somewhat similar judging by the things that I've read around here. So just keep your Grey's Anatomy obsessed heads up high, and live in the world of fanfic for a while...where things are either far too angsty and depressing, or fluffy for our own good. And yet we can't get enough. Reviews are welcome, of course.**

**And yeah...Rose? McThorny is a McPlot device, that's all. MerDer will reunite. Eventually.**

* * *

Meredith rounded the corner at Seattle Grace, paying attention to the file in her hands. She was preparing a release for her patient, but was on her way to speak with Derek about the case first. Feeling someone nudge her shoulder, she looked up to see Mark. 

"Well hey there, stranger." Mark said, grinning.

"I've been back for a week." She deadpanned.

He shrugged, walking in step with her. "Yeah, but it feels like you two have been avoiding me like the plague."

"And why on earth would we do that?" Meredith asked, plastering on an overly cheesy smile. It wasn't that she found Mark unbearable, because on most days she found him to be something kin to a friend. This day though, she was in a hurry.

"Hey, you could try being a little nicer to me, Grey." Mark replied, pulling a hand to his chest as he pretended to be hurt. "Afterall, with me planning the bachelor party, there's no telling where we'll end up." He grinned.

Meredith sighed, shaking her head. While she couldn't pinpoint why, something had been feeling different for her ever since they all got back from New York, and she contributed that feeling to how she felt about Mark's presence."Do you ever hear the things that you say Mark?"

He shrugged, stuffing a hand into the pockets of his labcoat. "Most of the time." He was busy pretending to sulk when he saw her grab the wall to balance herself. "Whoa. Hey, are you okay?"

Momentarily closing her eyes, Meredith was quick to gain composure. "Yeah, I'm fine." She insisted, a sick feeling resting in the pit of her stomach. She felt a cold air rush over her, and absently drew a hand up to brush hair out of her eyes, using that ruse to check her forehead. When Mark didn't say anything, Meredith offered a smile. "Really. I'm fine, I just got dizzy." Insistant was how her voice came out, though she had a feeling it was a lie. "I'm taking a file to Derek to check with him, and I'll go grab a bite to eat."

"Okay." Mark said warily, not quite believing her. But knowing Meredith, Mark knew that no one could force her to admit or do anything, much less actually take care of herself. That is, except for her daughter. "Just take care of yourself, Grey." And with that, Mark walked away.

* * *

Sitting in the cafeteria, Meredith found the hunger that she began to feel shortly after her conversation with Mark had dissipated. Frowning at the lunch wrap that she bought, Meredith peeled a piece of lettuce off its surface. She sighed, slowly tearing away at the tortilla.

"Who's winning?"

Meredith looked up in surprise to see Addison standing beside the table. "Oh. I, um, I bought it to realize that I wasn't really that hungry."

Addison frowned before gesturing to the chair across from her. When Meredith nodded, Addison set her tray down against the table. "I know the feeling. I'll be hungry, go to the fridge, then I realize there isn't anything there that I want."

Meredith offered a smile before taking a large gulp from her water. She wasn't hungry, but she was thirsty. "Am I-" She began, eyes darting around the cafeteria. While the rational side of her mind knew it wasn't true, a part of her was curious. "Well, Mark said something earlier. Apparently, he thinks that Derek and I have been...avoiding people. Since we got back."

Fork hanging midair, Addison shrugged. "It's probably him just trying to get in good with Derek, you know. He's a bit peeved that he wasn't invited to that little trip the three of you took."

"But why? I mean, I get why. I just-" Meredith stared down at her wrap again, contemplating the thought of taking a bite. "Nevermind."

"Mark and Derek have always been like brothers, I guess he just came to expect it?" Addison said, brushing the thought away. "You have seemed kind of scarce in the past week or so, though."

"It wasn't intentional." She insisted.

Addison nodded, red hair rubbing against her scrubs. "Don't worry about it. Are you okay?"

Apparently Addison had picked up on the way she'd been acting, but Meredith simply nodded. "Tired. I'd blame it on jetlag, but I think it's a little too late for that. Ever since we got back, I've been a little bogged down."

"I know the feeling. You just have to remember to take a little time every now and then." Addison replied, finishing up her pasta. "Well, I'd love to stay and...talk, whatever. But duty calls..."

Meredith nodded, knowing she couldn't hide in the cafeteria the whole day. "I know, I should go, too." Throwing her uneaten food away, Meredith made her way up to check on a patient, knowing she had a surgery in just over an hour. Checking her watch, she climbed into the elevator, feeling somewhat calmer than she had before.

* * *

"Derek?" Meredith called, opening the door. Peering into what natural light there was left, her hand reached fumbly for a lightswitch, but found none. "Derek, I'm sorry that I'm late. Where are you?"

"Back here." Derek called. "Follow my voice." He continued, grinning. "What do you think, sky or blueberry?"

"What?" Meredith called, focusing on the path that was currently dictated by plastic coverings and masking tape.

"That one." She heard Elizabeth say.

Finally poking her head through the kitchen doorway, she spotted them near the counter. "Hey."

"Surgery was good?" Derek asked, kissing her.

"I'm sorry I was late. The mother startled blubbering, just thanking me over and over. I guess I just..." Meredith trailed off with a shrug. "And how are you?"

Derek grinned, staring at the space around them. "Elizabeth and I were just sitting here, you know. Picking out colors."

"Paint is good." Meredith agreed, looking at the paint sample book that he'd recieved from the store. She looked at Elizabeth, and watched as she stared around the room. "Hey-" Meredith whispered, kneeling down to her level. "You know where we are, right?"

"Uh-huh. Our new house. Well, it's not _weally_ our new house 'cause we don't live here. But tha's what Daddy said." Elizabeth said, sighing.

"What's up, ladybug?" Meredith asked, brushing at the ladybug design shirt that Elizabeth wore. Her hand rested atop one of the black polka dots, and she smiled.

"'Cause Daddy said we live here."

Meredith looked up at Derek before frowning in confusion. "You don't like the house, sweetie?"

"I do, but we live with Aunt Itzie, and Uncle Alex, and-"

"Elizabeth, what Daddy was trying to tell you is that we will live here, just not yet. It's not finished." Meredith said, laughing a little.

"There's pizza." Derek said upon hearing her stomach grumbling.

"Thanks." She said, going to grab a slice. Derek followed her, paint sample book in hand.

"Mmm...that one." Meredith said, pointing to a color. "For in here."

Derek looked at it, then looked at the room around them. "That could work."

"It's kind of brown, but it's...you know. It works." Meredith said, hunger finally overcoming her as she took a huge bite. "My God, this is so good."

Derek laughed, staring at her. "It's just pizza, Mer."

"Yes, but it's _pizza_." She laughed, wiping at cheese that hung from her lip. She turned to see Derek staring at her. Though she still felt off, nothing about the look he was sending her was that way. "Hmm?"

"Nothing. I'm just thinking. The house is almost finished, Elizabeth is doing great at the daycare. You're freaking out over eating pizza. Life is good." Derek mused, taking a sip from his drink.

Knowing what he meant, Meredith wrapped an arm around his waist. "I think so, too." She said before kissing him.

"Eww."

Both turned in Elizabeth's direction, only to find that she was using her babydoll to "shield" her eyes. Laughing, Derek asked her what was wrong.

"Well...Aunt Itz...Aunt Izzie, she says that kissing's groooosss." Elizabeth mimicked, right down to wrinkling her nose.

Derek turned to Meredith, slightly amused. "What are your friends teaching our daughter?"

"Izzie's right, sweetie." Meredith said, nudging Derek in the side. "Well, almost." Not wanting to dwell on the awkward moment any longer, she cleared her throat. "Now, why don't we go check out your room?"

Derek watched Meredith grab Elizabeth's hand in hers, smiling as he watched the two head for the doorway. Something about them seemed so uniquely perfect.

"Derek?" Meredith asked, noticing that he wasn't following them.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Derek closed the pizza box. "I'll be right there, just let me clean up." With that, he watched mother and daughter disappear down the hall.


	44. When You Least Expect It

**Author's Note: So I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this chapter. I've been hinting at something for the past few chapters, but have been reluctant to come out with something so it wouldn't seem sudden. It's been planned since the beginning, but needed to find its own little niche. This chapter is kind of choppy to me, but I think in the end it ends up making sense.**

**And apparently I've made it my life's mission to make Addison and Meredith friends. Sue me, I know. But I think if it weren't for the whole Derek thing, Addison and Mer really could have been friends on some level. Pity, huh? ;)...Anyway, this is the latest. Please, please review...I think I'll be able to have a more even update schedule soon now that life has settled. Which means you guys should expect an update sometime early next week...**

* * *

The next morning came before Meredith was ready for it, seeing as she had woken up several times during the night only to find she couldn't get back to sleep. She'd sigh before turning on her side to watch Derek sleep. Thinking back on their relationship, she knew that it had been a rocky road, but where they were as a family was better than anything she could have imagined.

"Everybody up! Breakfast is in ten minutes, guys." Izzie said before promptly shutting the bathroom door.

Derek groaned, running a hand over his face. "Why is she so-"

"She's Izzie, Derek. If anything, she's probably been cooking for the past hour and is just ready to get everything done and over with." Meredith said, standing up to stretch. Her stomach grumbled, and she had to laugh. She hadn't realized how hungry she was until that moment.

"Fine. But if she comes in here while she's all 'good morning, sunshine', I'll have to-" Derek paused as Meredith opened the door to find Izzie standing in the hallway.

"This is why we lock the door." Derek murmurmed, cuddling back up to his pillow.

"So which one of you decided to have a midnight snack last night?" Izzie asked, leaning against the doorframe.

Derek frowned, realizing that he wasn't about to get anymore sleep. "It wasn't me. What are you talking about?"

"Me. It was me, Iz." Meredith said, smiling weakly. "Sorry, I was awake and couldn't get back to sleep. So I went down and made some cereal."

"And left the milk out. Luckily there was an extra carton, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to actually make breakfast." Izzie mused as Alex came out of their room. "Breakfast is downstairs."

"I heard." He mumbled, about to head for the bathroom when Meredith quickly darted across the hall. "Um...okay."

"She ate a bowl of cereal this morning, give her a break." Izzie mused sarcastically. She turned to Derek and Meredith's room, quickly slamming and opening the door. Grinning, she shrugged. "We've gotta get up."

"I understand that now." Derek said, sighing as he moved to get out of bed.

* * *

"You okay?" Derek asked as they climbed into the car that morning.

She smiled before nodding and leaning in to buckle Elizabeth's carseat. "Yeah, I'm good. Everything's good. Why?"

He shrugged. "Just wondering." He said, planting a kiss on her cheek before she walked around to her side of the car. It seemed natural; dropping their daughter off before heading into work together. They had grown accustomed to the schedule they kept, and he could practically hear Mark's voice in his head telling him that he was whipped. He wasn't, Derek believed. But that didn't mean he was supposed to be completely cold and distant to her, either. "You just seem kind of 'off'".

Meredith frowned, turning toward him. "What?"

Derek shrugged before turning the car around the corner. "Nothing. You ready to go see your friends, Lizzie?" He said, smiling.

"Uh-huh. Miss Tammy said that we're gonna do bubbles today." Elizabeth announced proudly from the backseaat. "And Trevor, he's mean."

"Why is he mean?" Meredith asked, feeling awkward after Derek dropped the subject so suddenly beforehand.

"'Cause he said that he could makeded bigger bubbles than me." Elizabeth said, sighing. "But he can't, Mommy."

Meredith laughed, shaking her head. "It's okay, honey. It's not nice to be mean to our friends, is it?"

"No." She said, turning her attention to the stuffed puppy that lay in her lap.

Meredith nodded before looking over at Derek. He'd for the most part been quiet, and she wasn't sure if that bothered her. They'd had such a nice time at the new house the night before, but ever since breakfast, something about him had admittedly seemed different. Or maybe it was her, Meredith thought. Something that she couldn't quite pinpoint, but decided to think about later as Derek pulled up to the daycare.

* * *

The day at Seattle Grace wasn't exactly the easiest. Just minutes after getting there, several victims from a school bus crash came in, and Derek was quickly pulled into a surgery. Meredith was given the opportunity to teach one of her interns as well when she was pulled into a surgery. Though she tried, the boy she had been operating on had lost too much blood, and simply gave up the fight. She tried as best she could to save him, but his heart was simply too weak. Knowing the protocol, Meredith quickly made her way to speak with his already distraught parents. Afterward, Addison had been speaking with the family of a new mother, and spotted Meredith running in the opposite direction.

Derek's day had been somewhat easier; the bus driver had been his patient, and he had lived. With extensive damage and he'd probably end up with extensive damage, but he'd make it. Derek pulled off his scrub cap, glancing curiously around the room. He had heard about what happened during Meredith's surgery, but when he started looking, he realized that she was no where to be found. Deciding that she'd simply gone to visit another patient, he quickly went back to work only to be interrupted an hour later.

"Have you see Grey?" Bailey asked, walking up to him as he stood at the Nurses' Station.

"What?" Derek asked, clearly caught off guard.

"Grey. Mousy brown hair, green eyes...short. Your fiance'?" Bailey asked again. "Am I ringing any bells here, Shepherd?" She asked, putting a file back in its slot.

"It's not that, Miranda." Derek said, using her first name in an attempt to catch her attention. "I was under the assumption that her interns were supposed to be doing triage today."

"They were. I went down thinking she'd be there supervising, but she's not." Bailey said, not even breaking her tone when worry began to creep in. She knew Meredith, and knew that despite any personal issues, she always tried her best as a doctor. "Have her paged."

It was an order not a request, Derek knew. Despite that, he couldn't help but feel like he needed to be looking for her himself.

She hadn't really been looking, but if she thought about it later, Addison would think that it made sense. She finished a conference call with doctors in Olympia who were interested in information from a particular procedure she'd been in on, and Addison agreed that she would help them when she could. After that, she headed for the bathroom in an attempt to freshen up. Glancing over herself in the mirror, Addison frowned when she heard a noise coming from behind her. Curious, she turned to see a flash of blue tucked behind one of the stall doors. She knew it was wrong to intrude, but as she walked closer, she found herself knowing who it was. "Meredith?"

A stifled sob from the other side of the door, followed by a quick click of the lock to ensure that the door was closed.

Addison sighed, shaking her head. "Don't think I won't break down this door. Come on, what's bothering you?"

"I'm fine." Meredith said, her eyes brimming with tears. After she told the parents what happened to their son, the only thing she could think of was the child she would be going home with that night, and her mind conjured up horrible details. Before she realized what she was doing, Meredith was doubled over in the bathroom stall, pouring out the contents of her stomach. Weak, tired, and sick, Meredith knew there was no sense in hiding.

"Do I have to get Derek? Because he's not above coming in the ladies' room if it means trying to help you." Addison said from outside of the stall. She sighed, clicking her heel against the tile. "Come on, Mer..." Her knuckles rapped loudly against the door.

A few minutes passed and as Meredith attempted to stand, her knees agains gave way, and she collapsed against the toilet, losing what was left in her stomach. Heaving, Meredith moved hair that had matted itself to her face. "Addison..."

"Meredith?" Addison called, her voice growing increasingly anxious. "If you open the door, I can help you."

Meredith closed her eyes, planting her hands against the wall to help push herself up. Taking a few deep breaths, she opened her eyes and was relieved to find that the sick feeling she'd had since she lost the patient had dissipated a little. A shaky hand moved toward the lock on the door, and it slowly opened.

"I heard...I heard what happened to the little boy. I'm sorry, Meredith. It's never easy." Addison said softly, at a loss to say much else as she stared at the frail woman before her. "Come on, we're going to go find-"

"No." Meredith said, attempting to shuffle to the sink. Splashing her face with water, she let out a shaky sigh. "He was ten years old, Addison. Ten. He'll never go to high school, or have a girlfriend. And his parents...his mother was pregnant. She was having a baby, and she lost her other one. How does that happen?" Meredith said, a fresh duo of tears finding their way down her cheeks. Her chest heaved, and she made an attempt to hold whatever it was coming up back.

"Is that what made you sick?" Addison asked, remembering the first patient that she ever lost on her own. While she knew it wasn't Meredith first, Addison knew that the feeling you got whenever it happened never really went away. "Okay. Um..just stay here. I'm going to run and get you something to drink, because you need to keep your levels up. Do you think you can keep down orange juice? Actually, water would be better."

Meredith shook her head. "I don't know."

"You don't know what? If you don't want to drink, it's fine. I just thought it would help...the taste and everything." She said as she leaned against the bathroom counter.

"No, I mean..." Meredith said, her hands moving to fumble with the hem of her scrub top. "Thank you, for offering to help me. But I think..." She closed her eyes, as if saying what she was about to say would make her situation more real. "I think that I might be needing your help for an entirely different reason."

Addison frowned, not catching on to what she meant. But the more she thought about it, the realisation struck her. "Are you? How long have you known?"

"I don't know. But I've been feeling off ever since Derek and I got back from New York. I figured it was just something I caught on the plane, you know? Until yesterday, when I just started getting so dizzy. I was sick, so I couldn't even eat but a piece of pizza last night, and yet I got up at twelve thirty to get a bowl of Fruit Loops. It's...big." Meredith said, staring straight ahead instead of at the woman who stood beside her. "If it is true, I mean. We haven't even talked about this, Addison. Now I find out that I could already be pregnant. And I just..." She shrugged, her pale skin growing a shade whiter.

"Stay here." Addison said, sighing. "And for the record? If you are, it isn't necessarily a bad thing." She offered a smile and a squeeze of the shoulder before turning to go. "I'll be back."


	45. Confirmation

**Author's Note: Here we are at the latest chapter. It's slowly winding down, which is kind of sad in a way, but thinking back on how epic this story has been, I think that 50 chapters doesn't seem like too bad of a stretch, does it? Well, that's my goal, anyway. Reviews are welcome as always...**

**

* * *

**

Meredith stared down at her hands, trying to focus on the positive. She wasn't sure why she was worried, because she felt a small part of her inside flicker at the thought of what she knew could be. Upon hearing the door to the exam room open, she looked up.

Addison nodded, hugging a folder to her chest as she walked to the bed. "The test came up positive. I'd say congratulations, but at the moment, I'm not entirely certain that it would be something you'd want to hear."

"I'm happy about this, I am." Meredith said, averting her gaze to the floor. A small smile cracked through her lips as a hand fell to her abdomen. She looked up at Addison, tears misting her view. "It wasn't expected of course, but it's...wow."

"Wow is right." Addison said, cracking a smile. "I'm sure Derek's going to be thrilled with this. A baby, the house, the wedding...everything's falling into place."

She nodded, ponytail shaking as she did. "It's still a little surprising. I mean, kind of. A baby. I'm pregnant."

Addison knew Meredith was speaking the words out loud as a means of confirming the thoughts, but she still felt the need to inform her. "I'll leave you here to change and clean up. But, um...unless you plan on going to Mercy West for treatment, I expect you in my office this afternoon. We'll need to set up an appointment."

"Right." Meredith said with a nod, thinking of how different it would be with everyone she knew around her. "Addison?" She smiled with a shrug, a nervous flutter occuring of its own accord from somewhere within her. "Thank you."

Addison nodded as she set her hand against the door handle. "It's no problem, just stop by before you leave. And yeah...tell Derek congratulations for me."

* * *

That same afternoon, Derek was called into a follow-up surgery on one of the bus crash victims. He'd hurriedly run in, requesting on his way that Meredith join him. It looked like a regular emergency to anyone who viewed the scene, but as Mark sat in the gallery, he couldn't help but think that something was off. 

"Something's going on." He said as he peered out of the glass.

"What do you mean?" Addison asked from beside him. Aside from a few check ups that were to happen later, she found that the rest of her schedule was free, and chose to observe on what looked to be an interesting surgery. Seeing as a few of Meredith's interns were also observing, she knew that she had to be careful as to what she said. Not that she would say anything anyway, she thought, but it was still worth an extra layer of caution.

Mark leaned over so as not to cause suspicion. "Derek. He's just...he's controlling everything."

"How is that any different than normal?" Addison asked, watching the way that his hand absent-mindedly wove through her fingers.

"It wouldn't be if there wasn't one of the best neuro residents we've got down there. He usually lets Grey do something." Mark said as he studied his wife. "But as usual, mum's the word, right?"

"Since when do you say 'mum'?" Addison asked, her eyes not breaking away from the scene that played out in the O.R..

"It came to me, what do you want me to do?" Mark scoffed, knowing that she saw right through it. He watched as Derek was repairing the man that was on the table, hoping against hope that the patient would make it. He heard what happened after a surgery earlier in the day, but also knew that Meredith wasn't one who simply sat idly. She always had to be doing something, which was why the sight of her standing back seemed so odd to him.

* * *

Derek's eyes darted up to the gallery, not at all surprised to see the two familiar faces that were staring down at him. There'd often be various attendings or residents who came in when they were on-call but had nothing further to do. "We'll need to suture the wall, but other than that, I think we've successfully prevented any further hemorrhaging." He said, noting the way Meredith stood idly by him. She'd hold a clamp occasionally, or assist in handing him surgical tools. But anyone could have seen the way she wasn't the typical take charge kind of doctor he was used to seeing in the E.R.. After the procedure was over, he nodded, offering instructions that the man be taken back to his room. "I'll be up to instruct on medication in a while. Doctor Grey, I need to talk to you" 

She swallowed, already knowing what was coming. Her eyes looked up at the gallery hoping to see Addison and Mark still sitting there, but somehow didn't feel surprised when she found it vacant. Nodding, Meredith went to the scrub room. After discarding her gloves and mask, she properly de-robed before being overcome by the need to scrub her hands clean. She heard the door shutting behind her, and didn't have to look to know who it was. "What's this about?"

"I stepped up in there because it was a procedure that I was supposed to do. Regardless of that, you...you didn't-" He shook his head, feeling ridiculous for ever being angry with her. It wasn't her surgery, yet he had still hope he could catch a glimpse of the woman he loved doing what they both loved.

"It was your surgery, and you're mad because I didn't try and pull a Cristina and just take over?" Meredith asked, not even bothering to hide the exhaustion in her voice.

Derek's gaze softened as he approached her, placing a hand at the small of her back. "I'm sorry for saying something. It's just that lately, you've been acting different. I was worried, I still am, but you should realize now that'll never change."

"Different how?" Meredith asked as she tried to avoid panic mode. In the safety of the scrub room, she felt like for a moment they were alone. Alone would be the only safe way to tell him, though Meredith knew Derek would probably be ecstatic either way.

He shrugged, leaning against the counter. "Different. You had a bowl of cereal at midnight, you freaked out over pizza. Every time that I see you watching Elizabeth, you get all teary-eyed. I don't mind the changes, Mer. I really don't. It's just that I-" Derek cut off in mid-sentence, turning his sharp baby blues in her direction. He cocked his head to the side as if he were trying to decipher something, like he did during surgery.

It felt awkward being under such a close inspection, but Meredith was at a loss as of what to do. Under the heat of the look Derek was giving her, she found herself planted firmly when she stood. There was no chance at running, not that she wanted to. At the moment, the scent of lemon sanitizer and Derek's cologne both collided in a way that was somehow comforting. "Derek." She said his name, a hand moving to rest against his waist. She knew he was trying to piece everything together, but somehow felt she needed to say it herself. "What you're saying, I've noticed it, too."

"And?" Derek asked, feeling that there was more.

Meredith nodded, a small smile crossing her face. "I'm pregnant. I've been thinking, wondering how it is that I'm supposed to bring it up, but the fact is, there really is no perfect way."

Derek blinked, never breaking the look they both held. His hand slid down her arm until he held her hand in his. "Is this a feeling, or do you know for sure?" He asked, already feeling excitement, and realizing then it wouldn't have made a huge difference either way.

"I've been feeling sick since we left New York, Derek. Today..after the little boy-"

"Mer, I'm sorry." Derek interrupted, having heard the news of her surgery.

She nodded, eyes closed. "I was sick. Sick from the failed surgery, sick from...apparently carrying a child. I don't know. Anyway, Addison performed a few tests, and confirmed. I have to go make an appointment with her before I leave."

Derek enevloped her in a hug, not caring if anyone were to see them through the glass. "This is great news, Mer. It's...I mean, with everything. How are you feeling?"

"Suffocating." Meredith managed to choke from his tight hold.

"Oh." Derek said, jumping back. A grin was plastered to his face that Meredith was certain would never go away. "So Addy's your Doc, huh?"

Meredith rolled her eyes, laughing a little. "Yeah. You say that like it'll be a bad thing."

"No, no." Derek said, shaking his head. "It's good that you have someone you can trust. Just thinking that I'll have to deal with Mark and a larger than usual insult when I'm gushing over you."

"Gushing?" Meredith asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah." Derek said without offering any other response. "Come on, I'll walk you to her office."

"Derek?" Meredith asked, catching his arm as he made a move. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"Absolutely." He answered without a moment of hesitation.

Whether it was the newfound predicament, or the utter look of love Derek was sending her way, Meredith knew that they'd be able to cope. "Good. Me, too."


	46. Ever After

**Author's Note: What can I say that I haven't already said? Thank you SO much to those of you who have stuck with me and this story. I know that it's been frustrating at times, but I'm glad that you have. We've got the beginning of the whole 'Big Day' here, and I'm working on the next chapter. After that, there's not too terribly much left. Leave me a review, please! From one MerDer fan to another...**

* * *

A month passed, and as the time went by, Meredith slowly grew more accustomed to the idea of carrying another child. At first, she'd wake up during the night, and while it still happened occasionally, it was no where near as much as she had before. Once, about two weeks before, she woke up to find that the sick feeling wasn't present. Instead, she realized that she was incredibly hungry. Derek laughed it off at first, but as his bare legs were insulted by her cold feet, he knew it wasn't a laughing matter. He promptly slid a shirt on, and did what she asked him to; he went to the store, and bought her a carton of strawberry ice cream.

She told him that she was going to work for as long as she could, to which Derek knew that he couldn't refuse. If working was what she needed to do in her attempt to stay on track, who was he to stop her? Of course, that didn't mean he wouldn't worry constantly.

Slowly, their things were moved into the new house. Izzie took it upon herself to make sure that the kitchen was perfect, and knowing that Derek would be cooking, instructed him on the uses of the different pans (her present to them, so "don't expect much else."), she'd said. For the most part, Meredith made attempts at helping with moving boxes, and Derek would try and stop her. She'd complain, and Cristina would tell them to stop acting like they were old and married when they were in fact neither.

Telling Elizabeth had been another thing. They were sitting out on the front porch, and quickly after they told her, she put her head against Meredith stomach, and said hello. Derek sat speechless, wondering how it was that their daughter had turned out to be so brilliant.

Along with moving in, plans for the wedding increased in pace, and before they knew it, the day was only a week away. Meredith worried that she was showing, and that his family would think things that weren't true. Derek simply smiled and promised that if anything happened, he'd be the one to take care of it.

Of course, he said, it would be rude to not invite his sisters to the bachelorette party, but if she didn't want to he'd understand. She simply smiled weakly telling him that whatever happened, she'd try and handle it as best she could.

It seemed interesting enough; the not having alocohol at the bachelorette party. Instead, Meredith sipped on gingerale. Little did she know, Cristina had made her own little stash. At first she was upset about it, but realized that it wasn't fair for everyone else to not drink just because she couldn't. Surprisingly, no one said anything about her not drinking. Whether it was because they didn't notice, or because they didn't care she didn't yet know.

She was rinsing out a cup when she heard someone walk into the kitchen. "Hey." She said before turning her head. When she did though, she felt a sick feeling flutter in her stomach. "Did you need anything?"

Nancy shook her head as she waved a glass in the air. "Oh no, not really. Just coming for a refill." She said before opening one of the bottle that Cristina set out on the table. She looked over at Meredith who had apparently felt a sudden craving for one of Izzie's cookies. "Do you want some?" She waved the open bottle.

"Huh?" Meredith asked as she looked up. "Oh. No, that's...I'm good."

"Meredith." Nancy stated. "You honestly don't think I'm stupid, do you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No." She replied before gulping down a bite. "Why?"

Nancy laughed, shaking her head. "I know Derek. Okay, I do. It's been obvious since he came to pick me up at the airport yesterday that something was bothering him. And, well, you've made a point to avoid the hard stuff all night."

Meredith's face grew pale as she knew she'd been caught. Setting down the rest of her cookie, she resisted the urge to flee.

"I work with children, and with this sort of issue. It's obvious, Meredith." Nancy said nonchalantly. She shrugged. "I just assumed that you were planning on telling us after the wedding. Was I right?"

"Well...yes." Meredith squeeked. She hated feeling like a trapped animal. Defenseless.

"Because you didn't want to upset my mother, and your track record hasn't exactly been squeaky clean." Nancy reasoned. "It's natural, but don't think for a second you're being sneaky."

"I love Derek, Nancy. And he-"

"Loves you, yes, I'm well aware of my brother's feelings toward you." Nancy said. She offered a straight smile before shaking her head. "I'm not judging you, believe me. Half of the women I work with are almost half your age, and aren't anywhere as close to a stable relationship as you and Derek have. I guess I just...Derek deserves the happy family he's always wanted. Don't screw that up."

Relieved and taken back at the same time, Meredith forced a nod. "I won't." She said.

"Good." Nancy replied as she waved the plastic red cup in the air. The sound of Izzie laughing and screaming that someone cheated caused her to offer a shrug. "Looks like the party's finally starting."

* * *

Derek awoke the next morning in the new house, comforted by the silence that surrounded him. He stared up at the ceiling and remembered what happened the night before. By some miracle, he'd convinced Mark that a party with just a few of the guys worked best. He, Burke, Alex and George joined Mark at Joe's for pool and darts. Joe closed a little early to allow them extra space, but stayed behind because he knew the doctors at Seattle Grace weren't to be trusted alone with his bar.

Afterward, he'd made his way home, and fell asleep in their bed alone. A spot at the bag hanging off of the closet door reminded him of what was to happen that day.

Swinging his feet over the side of the bed, he quickly took a shower. With any luck, Mark would be over sooner rather than later, and they'd all grab a bite before heading into town for the ceremony that would make Meredith his wife.

* * *

"Thank you so much again, for watching Elizabeth last night." Meredith said as she ushered Derek's mother and Elizabeth into the room that had been converted into her dressing room.

"I told you dear, it isn't a problem. She's simply adorable, I think." Rebecca said, looking up to see the activity that encompassed the room. Cristina was sitting down filing a nail, and Izzie was on the phone with the caterer. "Well, I suppose that I'll leave you for now. Oh, but before I forget-" She paused as she pulled an envelope from her purse. "I was asked to bring this to you, courtesy of Derek."

Meredith nodded, brushing a hand across her stomach before taking the envelope from her. "Thank you. I'll...see you inside, I guess?" She took hold of Elizabeth's hand as Rebecca left the room.

"I understand that." Izzie said from across the room. "But it's a saturday afternoon in Seattle. Yeah, it's a little bad. But how bad can it be?" She sighed before offering a reassuring smile. "You do that. Bye." She hung up her cellphone and quickly set it in her purse. "Look who showed up."

Elizabeth smiled before running to give her "aunt" a hug. "Hi."

"Everything okay, Iz?" Meredith asked.

"Yeah, no problem. Just a caterer that had a little problem with directions. I told him where to go." Izzie said, and seeing the horrified look on Meredith's face, felt almost compelled to laugh. "I'm kidding. But hey, considering how important today is-"

"Just calm down. It's fine, everything is fine." Cristina said, standing. "Come on, I guess you need the whole...making sure you're all nice before the wedding thing." She murmured. She wanted her friend to be happy, but weddings weren't her favorite thing.

"I'm fine, guys." Meredith replied before taking a look at her dress. She remembered the note in her hand, and upon hearing Izzie answering another call, walked across the room to the other window to read it.

_Mer-_

_If we were doing this the right way, I shouldn't even be writing this to you. The truth is, I couldn't resist. Sue me, hit me...whatever it is that you'd like to do. I love you, and I know that you know that. Our family is crazy at times, but we will always stick together. I assume that by now you've gotten an interrogation by Nancy, she came over this morning after I'd washed up to tell me she understood._

_I can't wait. I know I sound like a little kid, and I guess being around Elizabeth doesn't make matters any better about my feeling that way. But Mer? In a little over an hour, we're getting married. Married. Husband and Wife married. "Mr and Mrs Derek Shepherd" married. I'm not trying to scare you, but I'd like you to know how much this means to me. It's always been you. Even after you left for L.A., and before you'd officially made your decision. I might have been mad at you, but I never stopped loving you._

_You're it for me, Mer. The one I want forever with. I really hope that doesn't scare you, but if it does, just think of it as part of the (as you called it) "not morning" sickness. :) I'll see you as soon as I can._

_Love,_

_Me_

_P.S. I guess Mom's taking this to you, but I figured I'd let you know. Mark has the rings, so don't worry about it. And yes, I threatened him in the event he loses them. I love you. -Der_

Meredith folded the paper and placed it carefully back in the envelope. She smiled as Elizabeth walked up beside her. "Hey there, bug. How are you?"

"You look pwetty, mommy." Elizabeth said.

"Thank you. As do you. Let me see you turn around in your dress." She asked. She couldn't help but feel tears spring upon the sight of her daughter spin around in her miniature representation of the bridesmaids lavender colored dresses. "Pretty. Why don't you-" She looked up to see Mark poking his head in the door.

"Hey, no men! Izzie said no men, and I'm saying-"

"Ease up, Yang." Mark said, holding up his hands. "I come unarmed. Shep isn't following me. I just..I came to tell you guys the ceremony's supposed to start in about ten minutes."

"Thank you. Now, go." Cristina instructed, adjusting the straps of her dress. "You couldn't pick something more comfortable, Mer?"

Meredith laughed before looking in Mark's direction. "We'll be right out."

He nodded, and quickly left the room.

"Everything okay?" Izzie asked, switching her phone to silent. She didn't see the point, seeing as anyone who could have called would be at the ceremony, but she couldn't take the risk.

"Yeah." Meredith said as Izzie handed Elizabeth the basket of flower petals. She thought of what Derek had written her, and visualized him standing there at the altar. It wasn't fancy by any means, but somehow making it official made it appear that much more real. "Come on, let's go."


	47. Ours To Keep

**Author's Note: Writing this made me realize how dramatically different fanfiction is from what we actually see on that show we call Grey's. Yeah, Mer and Der might get a few happy moments now and then or whatever, but never enough to really work. Luckily, this is fanfiction, where the OTP actually gets a happy ending, thank you.**

**But for the record, this chapter is too fluffy for its own good. I warned you.**

**Hehe...reviews are love.:)**

* * *

Standing before all of their friends, family, and colleagues felt a little surreal. Derek tried his best to keep composure, and he was sure that if he'd slip up, Mark would be sure to let him know later. He heard the pastor speaking, but simply nodded. His gaze was fixed on the woman standing in front of him as he thought of the sincerity of what he felt for her. 

"There's-" He stopped, the words coming up blank in his mind. He check his suit pocket to find that he'd forgotten his notes in the pants that he'd arrived in. "Okay, so you know what? I think that's a perfect example. We don't live by the rules, Mer. We...we never really have. We try our best to do the opposite actually, and manage to somehow be all the more happy because of it. I love you, Mer. From the moment that I met you. I know that I've...I've screwed things up. A time or two, I really do know that I did. I also know that if that ever happens in the future, I will do everything within my power to make it up to you." He smiled as he ran a thumb over her hand. "You mean so much to me, Meredith. I could stand here and list all of the reasons, but we'd be here...forever. I can't promise you that we'll always be this happy, energetic couple. I know that there'll be hard times, and good times...sick times. But Mer? I'll be there."

Meredith fought to swallow a lump that threatened to grow in her throat.

"I _will_ be there, Meredith. Today. Tomorrow." Derek drew a shaky breath as he found her green eyes staring deep into his. He realized then that he didn't just want her or crave her, he needed her. "Always. I love you."

Unshed tears threatened to flow, and Meredith could hear Izzie muttering something about mascara. Despite that, she felt herself needing to get through with what she wanted to say.

"I know that a lot of things changed after I...left. I did things, you did things. But you have to believe, Der..through everything that happened, I never stopped loving you. You..you drive me crazy. You make me so mad sometimes, but then turn around and make me realize the exact reason that I fell in love with you. When I look at Elizabeth, she just-she...reminds me of you. Every day. I love you. I-" She cleared her throat, her stomach beginning to feel a little queasy. "I'm not very good at this kind of thing. Of telling people how I feel. Of...being honest when I'm unhappy, or when I'm happy. But Derek? I'll be better. I'll tell you. We'll work through things, and we'll be stronger." No matter her best efforts, Meredith felt a tear trickle its way down her cheek. "You're it for me, Derek. I never even believed that it was possible. That something like a soulmate could exist. I'm still not sure if I do."

Derek watched on as the words were flowing, and was caught up between wanting to hear them, and wanting to kiss her and take her as his own right then and there.

"I don't know. What I do know is that I promise to try. I promise to try to believe, to try and see the bright side. I promise that family..._our_ family will always be the important thing. I love you, too, Derek. That's...really all I have to say." Meredith finished, subconciously squeezing Derek's hand tighter. Elizabeth laughed and offered a "Yay!" as the ceremony continued.

The pastor said a few words, Derek and Meredith said "I Do", and exchanged rings. They kissed, and before too much longer, the ceremony was over.

* * *

"So...tell me again why we have to stay and talk to all these people?" Derek murmured as Meredith rested her forehead against his. They were dancing among their guests, the floor a mix of people dancing and of others simple standing idly by their tables. It was a small affair, which only complemented the fact that at the moment he wanted nothing more than to be alone with her.

Meredith smiled before shaking her head. "We can't just leave."

"Who says?" Heasked with a smirk.

"Derek." She smiled, shaking her head as the song came to a close.

He shrugged, looking around innocently before returning his gaze to her. "How are you feeling?" He asked, his hand reaching to graze the cloth that covered her abdomen.

"Better. I've been better, but I've been worse." Meredith replied. She linked her hands behind his neck, and felt a smile creep across her face as she felt the ring that rest on her left hand.

"Maybe we should get you something to eat. Chocolate or vanilla?" Derek asked, grasping her hand in his as they walked across the dance floor.

"Mmm...no cake. Well, not yet, anyway." Meredith laughed as they reached the table that Izzie and Cristina were sitting at. "Hey."

"Hey." Izzie replied before setting her glass down on the table.

Cristina nodded, looking at Burke before turning her attention to Izzie, who had grabbed a fork and was about to 'clink' it against her glass. "You do that, and I'll sick my interns on you on Monday."

Derek shrugged, giving Meredith a kiss anyway. It felt good to be able to hold her; to touch her without fear of anyone being allowed to complain. He knew it wouldn't stop them, but his jovial attitude was enough to make him not care.

"Can you two wait until you're out of here?" Cristina groaned.

"Cris, come on." Izzie said over her wine glass. "Aww..." She pointed to an area behind them.

Elizabeth was dancing her way over to them, Addison clutching her hand tightly. She smiled brightly, and broke free from her grasp when she saw her parents. "Daddy! Mommy!" She hugged Derek's legs tightly. "Love you."

Derek kneeled down before her. "I love you too, sweetheart. Thank you for being such a good girl today."

"She's asked me a few times about cake, but I knew that it wasn't time yet." Addison said, nodding as she was finally able to catch up with Elizabeth in her getting to the table.

"Hey guys." George greeted them all as he approached the table. "Congratulations."

"Well, I'm sure she can wait just a little longer." Derek replied to Addison before turning to George. "Thank you, George."

"Yeah, Thank you. Um-" Meredith was interrupted by the sound of someone tapping loudly on a microphone.

Mark stood at the front of the room, mouth widened by a grin. "'Kay, so...I'm not that great at public speaking. That's a lie, actually...but I tried using that excuse for Derek here. He wouldn't buy it."

Alex let out a laugh, and Cristina snorted through a sip of wine.

"Anyway, I've known Derek almost my whole life. Feels like my whole life, anyway. I've seen him through a lot of girlfriends, and-" His eyes darted to Addison, and for a moment his composure slipped. Clearing his throat, Mark fixed his eyes on Derek. "I guess you could say I've seen what Derek's done to get her. I've seen the way that he stares at Meredith like she's the only one in the room. I know it's corny, and yeah...when I first got to Seattle, he caught me flirting with her and ended up knocking my lights out." He smirked, his cheek somehow vicariously stinging at the memory.

Meredith's cheeks reddened a little as she remembered the moment, and she smiled when she felt Derek wrap an arm around her waist.

"I guess I just-I'd...I'd like to tell you guys good luck. To wish you many years of happiness, and each other...but it just doesn't sound right. You know? So basically, what I'd like to say it enjoy every minute. Enjoy the little things, and the big things...everything, really. Good luck. To-" He raised his glass. "To Derek and Meredith."

Derek handed Meredith her glass, the one full of sparkling grape juice as opposed to the wine. He drank, as did she, and he leaned in for another kiss.

"Who knew McSteamy had a soft side?" Cristina chimed.

"Yeah, well...he isn't always that way." Addison laughed.

"Too much information, dude." Alex laughed before taking another sip.

The reception continued, and they danced a little more. They ate cake, and talked about various topics from the hospital to where Meredith had purchased her wedding dress with their guests. Meredith would catch him staring at her and paying attention to her instead of what everyone else was saying. It reminded her yet again of the fact that whatever they endured, he would always be there.

Later that night, after they'd made sure that Elizabeth would indeed be safe for a few days, Derek was driving his car with Meredith making every attempt to distract him. "You know Mer, we're never going to get there if you don't let me concentrate."

"Who says you can't multitask?" She giggled, running a hand up the length of his leg, her mouth brushing a spot just below his ear.

He laughed, knowing he had to focus long enough to put the car in park. After that, it was anyone's best guess. He frowned as he saw her adjust in her seat as the puzzled look on her face began to worry him. "Mer?"

She frantically pulled her hand to her stomach, resting it at the spot that she had felt it. "He's moving."

Derek grinned, ignoring the fact that the stoplight had just turned green. "Wow. He's an active little guy, isn't he?"

Meredith laughed, but winced when the baby kicked just a little too hard. She laced her fingers with his, but heard a honk from behind them. "Yeah, we should probably-"

"You honestly think I care?" Derek asked. He shrugged before moving the car forward. "So...'he' huh? I thought it was too soon to tell."

"It is, but-" Meredith stammered.

"Hey, it's fine." Derek smiled, placing a hand on her knee. Their child had made its presence known, and they were now known as husband and wife. To Derek, he didn't think life could have gotten much better.


	48. Downtime

**Author's Note: When I started this chapter, all I had was that first scene. To be honest, I've had it for a while, and have wanted to put it in before, but it never fit with everything else. I decided that I wanted it, and it was going to have to work. **

**The return of the letters...kind of. Not really, but you'll see what I mean. I was stuck in the Addison/Mer scene, but I think it turned out well. I was in need of inspiration, so I started listening to the Grey's soundtrack. It worked. Review, please! :)**

* * *

Meredith's spoon plunged into the carton of ice cream as she turned to look at Derek. "What? I'm hungry."

Derek smirked before reaching out to wipe a smudge of chocolate from her cheek. "That's perfectly fine."

She raised an eyebrow before settling the carton of ice cream against her lap, and pointing her spoon at him. "Rachel."

"Meh," Derek replied with a shrug. "Ryan."

"Derek, you can't keep insisting that our baby will be a boy." Meredith replied before rolling her eyes.

He nodded, his blue eyes matching hers as he spoke clearly. "Ryan could be for a girl, too." He reasoned.

Meredith dug out another spoonful of ice cream, and gratefully ate it. She let it melt in her mouth before slowly bringing her tongue out to lick away the excess left behind. "I don't think so. I mean-" she turned slightly in his direction. "How would you feel if you were named some name that a girl in your class was, too?"

Derek raised a finger to indicate that he was going to speak before coughing. "Kelly Shephard, the fourth grade. Of course, hers was spelled with an 'A', but everyone in my class swore that we were married, or had a crush or something. It was embarrassing."

"See, doesn't that prove my point?" Meredith asked in return, and offering a slight smile to let him know that she was joking. "Kelly's a nice name."

"It also happened to be the name of my eighth grade lab partner. This completely _Star Wars_ obsessed kind of...guy."

Meredith sighed before settling her spoon in the carton of ice cream. "This is supposed to be hard, you know. But it's like if you choose the wrong name for your kid, they're screwed for the rest of their life. Oh-"

"If you say Apple, Mer, I swear I'll-" Derek stopped at the sight of her giggling, thinking that he didn't remember the last time he'd truly seen her _giggle_. She'd seemed so much happier in pregnancy; though he was more than certain that hormones would kick in at some point. Their house was fortunate enough to have several bedrooms, and he was well aware of how comfortable their couch was--whatever it was that Meredith came up with, he was sure he could handle it. Well, he hoped so at least.

"We still have time, you get that, right? I mean," Meredith ate another spoonful. "Mmm...we don't even know what we're having. Yet, anyway. I don't want to be one of those parents who has their entire child's life planned out from the second they even exist."

"I get what you're saying," Derek replied before making an attempt at taking the carton away from her; a feat which earned him a playful smack on the arm. "but we can't just call him kid."

"We can't call her kid, you're right." Meredith declared triumphantly, after having successfully convinced him that trying again for the ice cream would be a bad idea.

Derek sighed, shaking his head as he watched her. They'd been married a month, yet he still managed to find ways to be surprised by the little quirky things she did. It was hard picturing Meredith doing anything quirky, but then he took the time to realize that he hadn't had the experience of knowing _pregnant_ Meredith. He reached around her shoulder to pull her closer before planting a kiss against her forehead. "We've still got time."

Meredith mumbled sleepily against his chest as she made an attempt at snaking an arm around Derek's waist; the ice cream apparently no longer necessary. "Yeah," she replied. "Lots of time."

* * *

Meredith settled into the booth at the cafe a block away from Seattle Grace, and stared defiantly at the glass of orange juice sitting before her. It had been an indescribable urge that propelled her to place that order, coupled with the fact that she was certain Addison would tell Derek if she even dared to drink coffee.

"How are you?" Addison asked before bringing a mug to her lips. They'd kept true to their plans, and had somehow managed to keep to their "coffee meetings" away from the hospital at least once a week.

"Good." Meredith offered as she took a sip.

Addison offered a smile before setting her mug against the table. "Orange Juice, huh?"

"I was hungry, but I really don't feel like eating. Well," realizing she'd said it wrong, Meredith cringed and made an attempt at rephrasing. "I just don't think food would like me much."

"I guess that makes sense." Addison replied as she took another sip. Outside, the rain drizzled softly, and a few cars passed by as they sat in their booth by the window. "You do have to get something down, though."

"I'm aware of that, yes." she said, offering a nod. She was slightly annoyed, though she knew it was more at herself than anything else. "Tired?"

Addison snapped her gaze back quickly, and spotted the look of concern in Meredith's eyes. "I guess you could say that, yeah. Double shifts."

Meredith nodded, apparently having understood the meaning behind what Addison was saying. She wrapped her fingers around the cool glass, and catching the slightest hint of the light that reflected from her ring, was reminded of how her life had shifted. Married with a house, a child, and another on the way. A faint smile crossed her lips, and she let out a sigh. She never saw herself as the type who'd get that mysterious happy ending, but the more she thought about it, the more she started to think that it was true.

"You know you should probably think about downsizing your schedule. Not in the immediate future, but soon." Addison said, calling Meredith back to the present.

Clearing her throat, Meredith let out a sigh. "I guess so."

"You could work in the clinic with Bailey."

Meredith knew Addison was only trying to make her feel better, but the notion that within months she'd have no other option than to stop working surgeries sent a wave of uneasiness through her.

Addison watched her, and could recognize the look that crossed her face. "It isn't as if you'll stop working altogether. How was it with Elizabeth?"

Though she'd heard the question before, Meredith hadn't been expecting it that time. "A few days in the hospital before we were both sent home. She was healthy, I was healthy...tired, but good."

Taking a sip from her coffee, Addison nodded in understanding. She'd never successfully had any children of her own, but a small part of her sympathised with those who had. Just as she was about to speak again, the sound of Meredith's phone beeping signaled that she'd have to wait.

"Sorry." Meredith muttered before clumsily pulling her phone from her pocket.

_"Off at six. Grab Lizzie, go to dinner? I Love You."_

Meredith smiled at the message, pleasantly surprised. She quickly began typing her reply. _"Good for me. Where?"_

Addison checked the time, and knew that she had to get back. Grabbing her purse, she caught Meredith's attention, and nodded at her phone. "Walk and talk?"

* * *

Mark laughed as he leaned over Derek's shoulder, studying his friend as his thumb glided over the keys. "You two are acting like high school kids. You get that, right?"

Derek's phone buzzed, and he clicked open. Reading her reply, he mentally ran through the list of available restaurants, and was reminded of Meredith's craving of the week, Italian.

Mark leaned against the counter and watched as a doctor passed by with a patient. "Fine. Go ahead, ignore me.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe my wife and your wife are away from the hospital, and this is the only way I can ask her?" Derek asked with a smirk. He knew that Mark was partially right, but it didn't stop him from answering her.

_"What do you feel like having?"_

"I guess you're right," Mark replied as he turned to face him. "but did it have to be this slow in here today? One face to fix, and then I get stuck talking to guys who gush over their wives."

"You gush over yours." Derek bit back. His phone buzzed again.

_"Spaghetti. But maybe some Mac and Cheese?"_

"Yeah, but I don't make a public habit of it." Mark deadpanned. He knew it was of no use, and in truth, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He'd never been as open with his emotions as Derek was, but he suddenly felt the urge to at least do _something_ for Addison. "You make the rest of us look bad."

Derek nodded in Mark's direction, but was partially distracted by writing Meredith back. "Do you know anywhere that would have Spaghetti and Mac and Cheese?"

"I'm complaining to you, and all you can think of is food? You're making me hungry." Mark whined, knowing that it would grate on his nerves.

"If that's your version of fishing for an invitation, it won't work." Derek replied matter of factly. "But seriously, do you know anywhere?"

Mark shrugged, grinning as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his labcoat. "Your pregnant wife, your problem. Besides, why should I help when I'm not invited?"

Derek shook his head, both unnerved and unsurprised by Mark's reaction.

_"Mark wants to go. He's bugging me. Ask Addy. Do you mind?"_

He shoved the phone back into his pocket as he waited for her answer, feeling a little bit guilty. He'd intended to have a family night, but the more he thought about it, he knew that Mark was as close to a brother as he'd ever have. If anything, Addison was now an extension of that, and as they were all friends, they'd forged a family. It made sense to him, albeit in a twisted way.

_"Good to me, but hey...what about Chinese?"_

Derek laughed after having read her message. Watching the scowl on Mark's face, he realized he'd have to explain. "It looks like we'll need to find a buffet."


	49. Racing To The Finishline

**Author's Note: So, here we are. After this, all there is left is the epilogue. I know that it's taken a while to get here, but I'd like to thank you all for sticking with me through it all. This chapter feels dramatic in a way, but much more true to the way that I could see it happening on the show.**

**Reviews are like candy, but with words, which is so much better. Hehe...Thanks so much!**

* * *

The phone ringing loudly at half past four caused both Derek and Meredith to wake up from their sound sleep. Grumbling, Derek rubbed his stubbled face with one hand as the other groped the nightstand in search of his phone. "Hello." His sleep-garbled voice answered. Blinking into the darkness, he listened both in fear and anticipation to what the Chief was saying. "Alright, then. I'll be there in five." He hung up the phone, and forcing himself into a sitting position, turned to look at his wife. "Bus load of people crashed out on the highway with a big rig...according to Chief, it's all hands on deck."

Meredith nodded, her eyes following him as he moved about, pulling on a pair of jeans and some shoes. He didn't even bother changing his shirt. Grabbing his keys and his wallet from the nightstand, Derek leaned back on the bed. Kissing her gently, he ran a hand across Meredith's pregnant stomach. Now full into her third trimester, she was on mandatory maternity leave until after their child was born. "You have to go." She whispered.

Nodding gently against her cheek, Derek leaned in just close enough for another quick kiss. "I'll be back as soon as I can, but I don't know when it'll be."

"I know, it's okay. Go...save lives." Meredith muttered against his lips, feeling a little bit reluctant as he slipped away. She watched his retreating form leave the room before going back to sleep.

* * *

Waking up to the feeling of a hand being pressed against her cheek, Meredith laughed a little as she saw her daughter's startling eyes staring back at her. "Are you hungry, bug?"

"Yep." Elizabeth answered proudly. Her look turned into a frown as her inquisitive eyes searched the room, getting the feeling that something was missing. "Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy had to go in earlier, but we can handle it with just us, can't we?" Meredith asked, having to use the side of the bed for leverage as she sat up. Wincing a little, she still managed to feel content as her daughter reached to hug her.

"Can we watch cartoons?" Elizabeth asked, already happy at the prospect of a morning with just her mother. Since Meredith had been ordered not to work from Addison, they'd temporarily been keeping Elizabeth at home. It seemed more practical, and could give her more time to get used to the idea of having a younger sibling.

"I tell you what. Cereal first, and then cartoons...does that sound like a deal?" She asked, ruffling the girl's dark curls.

Elizabeth leaped from the bed, eagerly trying to pull Meredith along with her.

"Hey, easy...you know that Mommy can't walk that fast. You can go to the table and get ready though, can't you?" Meredith watched as Elizabeth ran ahead of her, heading to the dining table. She shuffled into the kitchen, tossing a silly look over her shoulder, and grinning at the sound of Elizabeth giggling. She stopped stock still at the sight of two bowls and spoons sitting out on the counter right next to the box of cereal, almost as if someone knew they would come in to eat. Next to them, she saw his note.

_You know I don't want you working too hard, or lifting too much. I guess I learned it was always the little things that counted. Sorry about having to go in today, you know I'd have stayed if I could. Hope you, Elizabeth, and little Liam have a good day-I'll call as soon as I can._

_I Love You,_

_Der_

Carefully setting the note aside, Meredith moved a hand across her stomach. She thought of the day just a few months prior when they'd learned that they were having a boy. William, eventually they had decided, though Derek was already shortening it to Liam.

"Mommy, I'm hungry." Elizabeth called, breaking her concentration.

"Alright, let me get the milk. It looks like your Daddy took care of everything else." Meredith said, shaking her head in wonder as she turned to the refrigerator to get the milk carton. As she walked back to the counter to pour it in the bowls, she felt another flash of pain. It was barely there, but steadily growing worse. Bracing herself against the counter, she hoped it was just the baby kicking an organ, or shifting...something that set her thoughts at ease. It never crossed her mind that it could have been anything else.

* * *

Derek leaned against the scrub room sink for support, feeling anything but wide awake. He checked the time, and nearly felt his knees buckle. He'd been working for over seven hours straight, and everyone from the accident that required his assistance had already been helped, but he had trouble stopping after so long in 'neurosurgeon mode'. He'd spoke with families, offered options, ordered scans, and performed several surgeries, all for what he felt was the greater good. Though a life had regretfully ended, Derek felt a small surge of relief knowing that he'd acted accordingly, and because he did, others were saved.

Leaving the room, he nodded at passing nurses, feeling the need to at least appear friendly. What was truthfully on his mind was a call home to Meredith before catching at least an hour of sleep. Though he was strong and independent, he didn't trust himself driving home after such a strenuous shift, and he knew that technically it wasn't over. He'd rest in an on-call room, go and check on his patients, check up on any procedures that needed his assistance, and head home. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he'd stop at a flower shop, or someplace similar to buy Meredith something. She was sensitive as it was, and he'd already promised her that they'd spend the afternoon together, though it didn't work the way he'd planned.

Pulling his phone from his locker, he stood just outside the room, and frowned as he saw the message indicating he had 2 new messages.

"Derek, it's...it's me. I'm not-I really don't know what's going on, but I need to get to the hospital. I really hope that you get this. I just...the baby, Derek. It's too soon, isn't it? Please, just...you have to be there."

The second message, he soon learned, was from George. Apparently Meredith had tried calling everyone, and George was the first one she could get a hold of. He told him that he was taking Meredith to the hospital, and that he'd try to have him paged right when he got there. It sent his mind into a panic as his face blanched, his feet taking on a life of her own. The call was placed just over an hour before, and as he ran down the hallway, a check of his pager told him that the battery was near low. It occurred somewhere along the way that he'd just gotten a new battery the previous day, but didn't have the opportunity to put it in.

"Ease up, Shep...what's the rush?" Mark asked, having nearly been knocked over as he stood in the hallway with a stack of files.

"Meredith. George brought her in, I don't know what's going on. The baby, both of them...I don't have time-" Derek was already headed to the elevator when he heard Mark speaking.

"Hold on, I'm going up with you."

The ride felt like hours as he stared at the numbers, praying that they would move faster. When the doors opened, Derek practically leaped out.

"Slow down, Shep. You don't even know where they are." Mark chided, though he knew there was no getting through to Derek once he was set on something such as finding Meredith.

"She's here, she's with Addison. It can't be that tough to find her." Derek replied, spotting the familiar redhead stalking quickly down the hall. "Addison!" He called, making a weak attempt to call her over.

Weak as it may have been, she spun around and spotted them, quickly waving them in her direction.

"I've been in surgery all day, my phone was in the locker. The pager is-"

"No time to explain or say sorry, just follow me." Addison replied, quickly ushering them down the hall. She lead them into a room, stepping aside to reveal Meredith lying weakly against the bed, George sitting dutifully by her. He stood immediately, and quietly stepped aside.

"She wanted someone to stay with her until you were here." he calmly explained.

Derek nodded, pulling Meredith's hand into his. "That's fine, thank you, George. Where's Elizabeth?"

"Izzie has her, they're downstairs." Addison informed him. She exchanged a glance with Alex who had just entered the room, and offered a nod. "We need to move her."

Derek heard what they were saying, but a shift had occurred. He understood what they were doing, and followed along as much as he could. Through all of that, his attention was focused solely on Meredith. Whatever happened, he knew that she and their baby would have to be okay.


	50. Bless The Broken Road, Epilogue

**Author's Note: So here we are at the end. It's kind of sad to see, seeing as when I started this over a year ago, my intention was for a short little series. But it grew from there, didn't it? Anyway, I hope that you all enjoy. Reviews are welcome as always. :)**

* * *

"She'll be okay, right? They have to be alright." Derek spoke, more to himself than to Addison. He had stopped her just outside of the room, and he had to know for sure.

"_Derek_." Addison spoke, cocking her head to one side as she stared at him. This man, who at one time had been her husband, and who was fearing for his wife and unborn child more than even he himself could explain. "I know that you're worried, but I can't allow you to come and see her unless you're able to calm down."

He nodded, because he knew that she was right. Still, he felt guilty for not being there. "It's too soon, Addison. It's...I mean-"

Addison raised her hand, signaling that she'd heard enough. She was well aware of the state of panic; she'd witnessed countless fathers in the past who worried about the fate of their girlfriends or wives, and their children. She'd witnessed that desperate look, the one that was fearful and unsure, yet determined at the same time. "Given Meredith's health, along with the development of the fetus, there's no indication that they both won't be safe. Pregnancies that end around this stage, a few weeks early...those things happen, Derek. We'll have to see what happens, but you can't give up hope." She glanced around the room before handing him a surgical gown. "Put that on and meet me. And Derek?"

His stark blue eyes met hers, and Derek was reminded of just how strong Addison could be in a time of crisis.

She smiled, and offering a polite nod, knew that Derek would need some kind of encouragement. "If your son is anything like you are, I'm sure that we'll be able to pull him through."

* * *

Though it was a ridiculous notion, Derek could have sworn time had slowed down. He'd watched patiently as Addison performed the C-section, and as they carried the crying baby over to the examination table. Looking down at their joined hands, he wasn't at all surprised to find that her knuckles were still a very vibrant white.

"Is he okay?" Meredith asked, exhaustion seeping through every word. She was in pain, but her determination to see their son managed to break through.

Derek looked over at the doctors who surrounded the table, and prayed that he could give her good news. When he returned his eyes to hers, a piercing cry ripped through the air. Though it frightened him a little, he knew to take it as a good sign. "Yeah," Derek replied. "he's going to be okay."

* * *

Minutes fused into hours, and when Derek had enough of her pleading, he'd gotten a wheelchair from the nurses' station and took her to see their son. He felt bad, though he knew that Meredith needed her strength before going to see him.

Tiny fingers gripped her hand as Meredith stared down at his sleeping form. "He's...Derek, he's just-"

"I know," Derek replied in amazement. He saw Izzie holding Elizabeth up through the glass, and waved. He could see her staring in astonishment as Izzie pointed, and he couldn't help but smile. Elizabeth had been so happy at the prospect of being a big sister, and that moment didn't appear any different.

The day passed, and so did the next several as well. Derek would go about his hospital duties, but would come back to her room every chance that he had. On the final night before they went home, he sat in a chair next to the bed as Elizabeth, Meredith, and William were all curled up.

"He's so little, Mommy." Elizabeth said.

"William's just a baby, sweetie. He'll grow big like you." Meredith replied with a smile. Her two children, she thought in amazement. Just a few short years before she'd never even considered herself as a person who would become a mother.

Somehow, that moment made all the worrying Derek went through in the hours leading up to William's birth worth it. He'd been nervous and scared, but he had also known on some level that they were all strong. Meredith was a person who could be crumbling into a million pieces one minute, but then turn around and be just as determined as ever in an O.R. the next. The tides would always be unpredictable to a degree, but if they got quiet little moments together as a family for a reward, Derek decided that he could deal with that.

* * *

**_...Three Years Later..._**

"Mooom! Will took my doll again..." Elizabeth cried from the floor of the living room. Pulling the leg of her doll as William pulled at the other, she let out a groan.

Meredith sighed, leaning down to pick a throw pillow up from the floor. "Will, honey, give your sister her toy, please."

Derek appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, drying his hands on a dishtowel. "Something going on?"

"Nothing, really. How long until lunch?"

Derek watched her, partially amused, as she straightened the couch. "It's still gonna take a little while, Mer. Besides, they won't be here until one."

They, as Meredith was aware, were some of their friends from Seattle Grace, along with a few of William's friends from the daycare. It was a Saturday, and their friends had all managed to find at least a little time away from the hospital to celebrate William's third birthday. Though it was only the usual crowd, it didn't stop her from feeling like their house would be placed under scrutiny. "I know, but everything has to be ready."

Laughing, Derek ruffled a dejected William's hair a he made his way to stand next to Meredith. "Ready," he said as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "but not perfect. Just sit down, take a break."

"I guess, but-" Meredith sighed upon hearing a knock at the door. "See, this is what I mean."

Derek nodded, and after planting a kiss on her forehead, went to answer the door. He was greeted by the sight of a rather large blue bag, along with Mark and Addison standing on his doorstep. "If that makes a bunch of noise, you can just take it back now."

"Yeah, well...I'll just tell you Addison bought it, and let that be the explanation." Mark grinned as he made his way into the living room.

"So, you're saying it might not be noisy, but it'll be expensive and name-brand. Even better." Derek groaned, earning him a slap in the arm from Addison.

"Daddy says we're not s'posta hit." William said, leaving the toy he had once fought for forgotten on the floor.

Grinning, Mark couldn't help but laugh. "Well, aren't you smart. How's my favorite future plastic surgeon?"

"_Mark_..." The other three adults in the room complained.

"What," Mark replied, trying his best to look innocent. "I'm only trying to help the little guy."

"I'm not little. The doctor says that I'm _vewy _stwong, Unca Mark." William announced proudly.

"I know you are, Liam." Addison defended him, appreciatively leaning down to get on his level. "Which is exactly why I got you your present," she added with a wink.

Feeling that the situation was under control, Derek caught Mark's gaze, and gestured toward the kitchen. "Got some stuff out on the grill. Wanna grab a beer and help me out?"

"Alcohol at a child's party? I'm shocked, Derek." Mark feigned surprise.

"Yeah, and I bet you'll refuse, won't you?" Derek replied sarcastically, waving behind him before leaving the room.

Slowly, everyone else came in. William was pleased to find that two of his friends were able to come, thus giving him someone to play with. Elizabeth was content in showing off her, as she called it, 'fantastic dancing'--after pleading for several weeks, Meredith and Derek had caved and allowed her to take dance lessons.

Things were awkward for a while after Izzie and Alex showed up separately. Everyone suspected that they'd end up splitting after his fear to commit, but none of them had actually wanted it to happen.

After Derek served lunch, Cristina was being called back to the hospital because of a patient she had. The intern who notified her said that he was rejecting the transplant, and therefore had just cause to require her assistance. This caused the presents to be opened early, to which William was pleased.

Derek took on the role of reading cards, including one that arrived from New York from his mother.

"William Christopher Shepherd, it is so hard to believe that you are so grown up. Three years old? Very cool, I think. I hope that you like my present, and that you, Elizabeth, and your mommy and daddy have a great day. Love, Grandma Rebecca."

Shortly after, William tore into the present she'd sent for him, only for the remaining partygoers to hear him scream excitedly.

"Did I ever tell you that he's got a set of lungs?" Addison laughed as she turned to Meredith. "Hey," she continued, spotting something off in her eyes. "Meredith?"

Snapping out of her daze, Meredith wasn't surprised to spot the concern as Addison looked her way. After the drama surrounding William's birth, they'd remained friends. She'd helped her through after Addison and Mark hit a rough patch just over a year before, and knew that if anything would happen, she'd always have her back. "I'm just thinking."

Settling into a lawn chair, Addison watched Meredith do the same. "About?"

Meredith smiled as Elizabeth helped William peel the wrapping paper off of another gift. "I just keep thinking. This is it, you know? He's three already, and when I think about how he could've...how I could've..."

"Hey," Addison interrupted, placing a soft hand on her arm. "you know you can't think like that, Mer. Those two...Elizabeth and William. They idolize you and Derek, and don't doubt that they're safe with you."

"Maybe that's true, Addison." Meredith said, crossing her legs as she folded and unfolded a napkin in her hands. "I'm happy. I should be happy. My daughter has a thing...she's dancing, and Liam...Liam's looking more like Derek every day."

Addison nodded, her eyes growing darker in understanding. "That's very true."

William finished opening his presents, and was showing them off proudly to the people that were there. Derek took the opportunity to carry the remnants of paper out to the garbage cans. He paused near the door, and seeing Meredith, directed her with his eyes. That was something they'd gotten better at; the reading each other without any explanation as to why.

Meredith offered an apology to Addison, and after getting an assurance from her and Izzie that they would watch the children, she followed Derek through the house, and to the cans sitting out front.

"Are you okay?" Derek asked, reaching to brush her cheek with his hand.

Meredith smiled, offering a shrug. "I'm just thinking about everything. How far we've come. How all of us have forged this crazy family," She licked her lips, pausing to admire the area surrounding them. She thought back to the time when she and Derek had gone to the property before the house had even been built. She remembered the way Derek had been so convinced even then that they would be okay and make it through.

"That's true," Derek replied, cupping her cheek with one hand, and pulling her close with another. "but you know what? This, us...the kids. That's what is most important to me. That is what won't change."

Meredith wanted to reply, or at the least let him know that she appreciated what he said. As she was about to, his mouth claimed hers, quickly sweeping her away again. Allowing herself to get lost, she jumped upon hearing someone whistle loudly from behind them.

"When you two are done feeling each other up, William wants to have cake now." Alex called, smirking as he caught a glimpse of their embarrassed faces before slipping back inside.

Derek hooked an arm around her waist, and pulled her close. "I guess we should go back in, huh?"

Meredith nodded, knowing that he was right. "Yeah, we should."

"Chocolate on chocolate, " Derek mused. "This should be fun."

Meredith laughed as they walked inside, and upon hearing a warning from Izzie about how people needed to like it because she made it, quickly poked him in the side. Somewhere, amidst all the craziness, they connected. It was the way things had always been, and Meredith knew in that moment that it would never change. He'd yell, she'd yell...but they'd get through. They had Elizabeth and William, and they had each other. No one said that it would be perfect, but as she saw Elizabeth 'helping' William with the chocolate that had already gotten on his nose, Meredith decided that it was better that way.

**Post-Story Notes: **

I'd like to thank all of you who read, reviewed, and alerted this fic. MerDer was put through a lot of drama on the show, and to a degree in the FF world as well. Through all of that, we shippers have managed to stick together.

I'm not taking a break, but I'd like to focus on the other fic that I have for now. I pushed back a sequel to an Addex fic that I've had for ages now in an effort to get what I have done, and for some reason, I struggled a little with this epilogue.

Anyway, I'll let you click the button and review now. At least I hope that you review, and, I hope this doesn't sound greedy, but I hope that you'll leave detailed ones. What you liked, didn't like...and everything in between. This is it guys, I hope you liked it. Thanks again!

-MG


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